The Horrors of the "Professional" World - Stories that will make you wonder how we exist.

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Alright, I find myself coming back to the office for the third time today. I wonder if my boss knows I work a 7am-11pm on Fridays. Anyway, I love this job and I've been dipping into my late night secret whiskey stash.

As for my old real estate gig, one story that comes to mind was a crappy frat house with 4 bathrooms. It was also my job to check houses for damage and take pictures. If people complained at all, I'd normally give 90% of their deposit back unless they totally trashed the place.

The crappy frat house had a huge deuce in each toilet, and one on the basement floor. I'm talking HUGE. And it had been sitting unoccupied in the summer heat for two weeks at that point so the smell was pretty awful. That was enough to set me off and take it all away, besides obvious damage.

However, sometimes people left me a beer in their fridges, and I never took anything out of their deposit if they did that. That job was such a grab bag of experiences, but it helped to give me a thicker skin.

I see if I can think of some more.
 
I other day, I was cleaning out the inbox for my morning job. I forget what the full name of the sender was, but the first name was "Sparkle" on an e-mail related to the office's primary business activity and topics related to it.

All I could think was, "Is Sparkle a troon, and why would anyone want a professional mail sent with a name that conveys anything less than credibility and professionalism (people such as Bunny St. Bunny of TLL nothwithstanding)?"
 
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It just keeps getting worse. I am so burnt out on dealing with screaming customers. The worst part is that what causes these problems are other assholes at the company I'm at causing them to happen in the first place. Drivers at my company are the absolute bane of my existence and it never stops: drivers not arriving on time and not answering their phone or updating their schedule so we have no idea where the fuck they are. Drivers unable to follow very simple instructions such as "Place it by this spot." or they just refuse to do what they're paid to do and leave the shit wherever. Then you have complete fucking retards who give the customer the wrong shit and now, no one knows where they are and when they're going to go back to fix the problem they caused. How in the fuck do you mix up a sofa with a fire pit? Then there's retards that don't call the god damn customer when the driver doesn't show up. I have to deal with that situation between 1 to 5 times every single day because some asshole didn't do their job.

Sidebar: when you get your shit in the mail and you got it relatively on time without any damage to it. Then get on your knees and thank whatever entity you worship that that happened. The people who drive the trucks and deliver our shit are 9 times out of 10 fucking retards.

These were not issues pre-COVID but ever since it's just become the new norm. Meanwhile, the people running this shit show have been promising that the problems will be fixed, they're looking into it, and all that. It's been a year. How fucking hard is it to hire more people to handle the increased volume of orders and make sure the fucking retarded drivers do their fucking job?

Plus they changed how we bonus so I went from making about $500 per quarter to now around $150-200 per quarter. Also, a new system will be coming grading us on pointless bullshit like "Oh, sir that piece of shit you bought looks great!" That kind of nonsense. And they keep shifting more and more issues -again, caused by other people not doing their job- onto us.

So I am genuinely stressed out and my manager gives me the line for the work stress line. There's a little page for it, a PDF, all that shit. So I'm like "Okay, I'll call the line, maybe just to have this documented so they can't just fire me." And the line to speak with someone is an Ireland only number. I am not kidding. If you want to speak to someone, you have to make an international call and pay whatever fees involved. And there's no email or anything or online chat for anyone either.

Edit: had another asshole customer on the line. This cunt somehow rescheduled her delivery from the 28th to the 29th. Now, if you do that, it kicks out whatever date was scheduled and you can't get it back because we are so insanely busy. So she calls in and wants the 28th. I explain it's not avail, cannot get it back, we have the 29th and we have other dates that are available. She's still not accepting that. Demands a manager, demands another rep and then starts screaming that I'm racist (it was a jogger). Just screams that I'm racist and I had had enough by that point in the evening and hung up on the asshole.

I am officially looking for other lines of work because this is insane.
 
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It just keeps getting worse. I am so burnt out on dealing with screaming customers. The worst part is that what causes these problems are other assholes at the company I'm at causing them to happen in the first place. Drivers at my company are the absolute bane of my existence and it never stops: drivers not arriving on time and not answering their phone or updating their schedule so we have no idea where the fuck they are. Drivers unable to follow very simple instructions such as "Place it by this spot." or they just refuse to do what they're paid to do and leave the shit wherever. Then you have complete fucking retards who give the customer the wrong shit and now, no one knows where they are and when they're going to go back to fix the problem they caused. How in the fuck do you mix up a sofa with a fire pit? Then there's retards that don't call the god damn customer when the driver doesn't show up. I have to deal with that situation between 1 to 5 times every single day because some asshole didn't do their job.

Sidebar: when you get your shit in the mail and you got it relatively on time without any damage to it. Then get on your knees and thank whatever entity you worship that that happened. The people who drive the trucks and deliver our shit are 9 times out of 10 fucking retards.

These were not issues pre-COVID but ever since it's just become the new norm. Meanwhile, the people running this shit show have been promising that the problems will be fixed, they're looking into it, and all that. Nigger, it's been a year. How fucking hard is it to hire more people to handle the increased volume of orders and make sure the fucking retarded drivers do their fucking job?

Plus they changed how we bonus so I went from making about $500 per quarter to now around $150-200 per quarter. Also, a new system will be coming grading us on pointless bullshit like "Oh, sir that piece of shit you bought looks great!" That kind of nonsense. And they keep shifting more and more issues -again, caused by other people not doing their job- onto us.

So I am genuinely stressed out and my manager gives me the line for the work stress line. There's a little page for it, a PDF, all that shit. So I'm like "Okay, I'll call the line, maybe just to have this documented so they can't just fire me." And the line to speak with someone is an Ireland only number. I am not kidding. If you want to speak to someone, you have to make an international call and pay whatever fees involved. And there's no email or anything or online chat for anyone either.

Edit: had another asshole customer on the line. This cunt somehow rescheduled her delivery from the 28th to the 29th. Now, if you do that, it kicks out whatever date was scheduled and you can't get it back because we are so insanely busy. So she calls in and wants the 28th. I explain it's not avail, cannot get it back, we have the 29th and we have other dates that are available. She's still not accepting that. Demands a manager, demands another rep and then starts screaming that I'm racist (it was a jogger). Just screams that I'm racist and I had had enough by that point in the evening and hung up on the nigger.

I am officially looking for other lines of work because this is insane.
Truck drivers are generally retarded. I regularly deal with concrete truck drivers and can literally count on one hand three fingers the ones who had functioning brains.
Today, for example, I was working at a site that has two entrances; one is at "ABC Road", the proper street address of the site but the other, "XYZ St" is the receival/trade/large vehicle access gate and is on a street running parallel to the first one. The driver of the concrete truck predictably showed up at the ABC Rd entrance and beeped his horn for attention. I drove all the way around to that entrance (it's a large site), climbed up the side of his cab and said, "What does your delivery docket say?!"
Driver, reading first line of delivery instructions: "Name Of Company, 123 ABC Rd!"
Literally underneath that, highlighted in yellow, are the words "Gate on XYZ St".
I point this out to the driver. He responds, "But it says 123 ABC Rd..."
I say, "Yes, and then it says 'Gate on XYZ St'...."
*Driver is flummoxed by my apparently superhuman ability to interpret two lines of text*
The docket also has the name and telephone number of my concreting subcontractor, a man with an unmistakably Italian first and last name. I am very, very obviously of Anglo-Celtic origin, but the driver asks why I didn't answer my phone when he was trying to ring me. I said, "Do I look like my name would be (((Italian name)))?!"

TL;DR - The prerequisites for being a truckie seem to be mild retardation, incipient alcoholism and adult onset diabetes.
 
TL;DR - The prerequisites for being a truckie seem to be mild retardation, incipient alcoholism and adult onset diabetes.

Getting my CDL made me stop drinking, but otherwise I dispute nothing.

I have seen drivers ruin a truckload of meat because they couldn't understand why the refrigeration unit won't keep the trailer cool if the doors are open.
 
TL;DR - The prerequisites for being a truckie seem to be mild retardation, incipient alcoholism and adult onset diabetes.
A friend of mine's father used to do trucking, and he could work a big rig like a fucking dream. Only problem is, he very quickly ruined his life by cheating on his wife and proceeding to enter into a life of hard substance abuse, drug trafficking, and identity fraud (to the point where he's even assumed his own son's name a handful of times on his arrest record). Been in and out of prison for as long as I can remember, and one of the last times I talked to the guy, he pissed and moaned to me about how hard it is to get a job when you have an extensive history of being a convicted felon.

All of this is to say that I think you're onto something when it comes to the "retardation" and "alcoholism" aspects, among other things.
 
I have a washroom story from today as well.

I went to the washroom this morning and as I was sitting down on the toilet, I was struck by a strong smell of shit, like far, far worse than what someone would normally encounter in a washroom. This made me feel very sick and I tried to get out of there as quickly as I could, wondering why the smell was so strong. As I was pulling up my pants I noticed that there was a piece of paper towel sticking out from the stall next to me, and then I realized what was going on.

Apparently the guy in the stall next to me was shitting on the floor onto paper towels, then he would flush it down the toilet.

I really hope I never have to encounter someone with such fucked up washroom habits IRL ever again.
I know a guy who was working on a building site that had a bunch of Afghan "refugees" employed as labourers. They used the sand pile for mortar mix as a litterbox, shitting and pissing in it.
 
It’s quite impressive that, nearly 50 years on, modern logistics is still working. Fucking impressive that with all these retards involved and the sheer volume of deliveries, it still works.
This is why I'm thankful that they're all being replaced with robots. The only problem with that, though, is now we have to figure out somewhere else to put all of the morons who can't do anything more complex.
 
A friend who works in my industry sent me this:

I got a phone call from some foreigner with a thick, vaguely Filipino-ish accent. He didn't introduce himself, didn't say hello or anything, he started out with "I can hardly hear you!"
Now, when I receive calls like this, 9/10 it's some call centre in Manila or Mumbai, trying to sign me up to an SEO service or some other shit that I don't want, so I am immediately on my guard.
Then he asks if my company works all over the State. I ask why he's calling me and he says "Because your number is on the internet!"
At this point I know I'm either talking to the aforementioned SEO/web design spammers or a complete fuckwit (the Venn Diagram of these is often a circle). Either way, I'm not interested, so I hang up on him.
He immediately rings back and again asks if we work throughout all of the State. (I still don't have this clown's name.)
I reply "Of course not!"
He starts waffling about something and I cut him off with "Why are you calling me? - Do you actually want a pool excavated?!"
"Yes"
"Ok, so where are you?"
"Well, I live in (((Major City))) at the moment but.....(lengthy waffling)....I want to build a pool at a house in (((Regional Shithole)))."
*My internal monologue: "I don't care where you live now, dickhead, I just want to know where the job is..."*
"(((Regional Shithole)))? No, we don't go that far. It's over 100km away and everyone there is poor."
"Ok. Can I just tell you something before you go?"
*very disinterested tone* "What's that?"
"You are the rudest, most - "
"Fuck you."
"No! Fuck you!"
"Fuck off, cunt." *Hang up again*
 
With my long-time job becoming a work from home job on a seemingly permanent basis, I've had to talk to the phone company about updating the billing information and switching to a more appropriate phone service plan. In speaking to three different representatives, I was told three totally different things in terms of what I'd need to be able to switch the service and what I could or couldn't do with the existing number.

The worst part is that the lowest cost option I could get involves what seems like a needless intermediate step. When I asked why I can't just do what I want to do directly without that middle step, the third rep of the bunch said, "Oh, we don't offer that any more." *sigh*

I know from past experience phone reps are notorious for their poor service and their tendency to drop the ball when they promise to do something. Still, the larger observation that representatives for any company/service industry can't or won't give correct and consistent information to those calling in is both frustrating and horrifying -- especially when the person calling knows exactly what's wanted.
 
Changed jobs recently because my old one was turning into a career dead end and I already fucking hate it. My boss is a micro managing asshole, something I hate and absolutely cannot deal with. Get told not to do shit because they want to know and see everything and then get shit for not taking initiative (what?).

Got an email Friday at about 5pm to do some bullshit, check XYZ thing was sent or whatever. Not urgent. Got a team call Monday at 3pm, cool I'll mention it on the call. Call starts and boss starts giving me and the other person shit - "when I send something I expect it to get done, and not to be ignored, these things need to be dealt with and I expect responses". Lol what?

The other person is a scrub and also forgot to send an email recently, no big deal. Boss has been giving them shit over it for a full two weeks now. Over literally nothing.

Turns out my buddy worked with this person a few years back, I asked him and he said this person knows jack shit about the actual work so would get on everyone's ass over bullshit box ticking shit that doesn't matter "oooh John didn't file his TPS reports this month". Maybe this is me coping and seething but this person built a career by focusing on bullshit bureaucracy because they recognise their actual incompetence. In a way I respect the hustle, when its not me on the other end of it.

TL;DR - is it OK to ask for a department transfer a month after starting a job?
 
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