Culture The Joy of the Childless Men - We’re so Joyful we just have to tell you how much we love not having children.

America’s Sweetheart J. D. Vance thinks we're making ourselves and our country miserable. Then why are we having such a good time?

By Dave Holmes PUBLISHED: SEP 27, 2024 9:06 AM EDT
Archive Article

Model standard Leftist male..JPG
Seth Rogen has said, "I still don’t want kids ... It doesn’t seem that fun."

No is my first word when people ask if my partner, Ben, and I are planning to have children. “But,” I will continue, and Ben will steel himself for what he knows is coming, “we’re not ruling out a Punky Brewster situation.” We do not want a baby. But if a sassy preteen with her own unique fashion sense were to be abandoned in a grocery-store parking lot, as on the ’80s NBC sitcom? We’ll take that kid in, teach her some important life lessons—and along the way, maybe learn some, too. If it happens, it happens.
I don’t want kids of my own. For a long time, I assumed the desire to be a father would just blink on after a certain number of years, like a check-engine light on my emotional dashboard. But it never did. Not enough to get the wheels turning on it, to make me spend the fortune surrogacy costs or the time adoption does. Ben and I can’t accidentally have a baby, so the decision would need to be made with a high degree of intention. That intention was never there, and the only thing a kid needs less than an ambivalent father is two of them. So now we’re hovering around either end of 50, the ship long having sailed.
We’re probably never going to have children. And I’m fine with that.
So why did I add a probably to that sentence two sentences ago?

Recently, my friend John said this to me: “What you do on a Sunday is who you are.” He’s right. You’re in church if you’re religious, you’re on your bike in spandex if you’re sporty, you’re at a matinee if you’re old and have a large bag of wrapped candies you’ve been meaning to open. If you have kids, your Sundays are busy: You’re carting them from a birthday party to a soccer practice to an urgent-care facility. You’re putting other people’s needs before your own, and those people frequently vomit on you. You’re a parent. Every day and always.
John doesn’t have kids, either. We had this conversation on a Sunday afternoon, over Bloody Marys, actively avoiding any further reflection on what that made us.
Roughly 15 years ago, my friends around my age started having babies, and I started to see them less and less. When I did, they came with strollers and pacifiers and water wings from a product universe I do not interact with. Over the summer, my high school friend Neil was in town with his wife and three kids, the youngest of whom is my godson, and I had them over to the pool for the afternoon. “Can I pick up anything,” Neil texted, and I replied, “Nope, we’re pretty well stocked up.” And then I texted back, “Actually, can you grab literally anything a child would eat or drink?“
My friend John said to me: “What you do on a Sunday is who you are.” This was on a Sunday, over Bloody Marys.
I don’t know that replacing those friends was on my mind, but around that time I did form new friendships with people a decade or so younger. People who could drop everything and go see a band with me on a Tuesday. People whose Sundays were wide open.
Now those guys have started having babies.
Recently at a dinner party, someone asked me if I had kids, and I said the Punky Brewster thing, and I was met with a blank face. “You don’t know who Punky Brewster is,” I said. A moment later, he lit up. “Wait, yes,” he said. “Teenage doctor.” This guy was a couple decades younger than me, too young to know Punky Brewster from Doogie Howser, M.D. He has three kids. I wish him the best of luck.

The conservative philosopher Yoram Hazony said, “The only honorable thing is to get married and have children, lots of children, and raise them, and if you’re not doing that, then what you’re doing is dishonorable.” This is a harsh assessment, and I take comfort in the fact that the approval of a conservative philosopher is probably not on the menu for me. But this message gets across in subtler, more familiar ways. En route to visit one of my nieces and her newborn son with my mother—now a great-grandmother—she enthused, “Oh, isn’t this fun.” And then she continued, “Can you even imagine not having children?” It wasn’t a memory lapse, exactly. It was a statement of our shared humanity: We’re good people, and good people have kids. Right?
In America there has always been a low-key dismissal of people who choose not to be parents. You’re assumed to be feckless, or selfish, or sad. When America’s Sweetheart J. D. Vance griped to Tucker Carlson about the “childless cat ladies” who evidently run America, he then described the childless as “miserable in their own lives and the choices they’ve made, so they want to make the rest of the country miserable, too.”
I don’t want to be a father, and I know I don’t want America to be miserable about it. But there is enough of a cultural expectation for a man to be a dad that sometimes I have to stop and think: Wait, am I miserable about it? Am I having fun, or am I just telling myself I am?
I still see my friends who are parents. But the kids from that first wave are getting to be teenagers, and soon they’ll have driver’s licenses and better things to do than hear a bunch of old people yell about Paul Westerberg. I get to see the new wave of kids, too, and discover what kinds of parents my young friends are becoming. There aren’t a ton of role models for the childless in general, and we’re in the first generation of gay men to get old en masse, period. Some days I feel like we’re pioneers, and some days it feels like we’re just lost in the woods.
And then I’ll say, “Hey, Ben, let’s get on a plane and go somewhere this weekend,” and we do. If what you do on a Sunday is who you are, then I am what I always wanted to be, which is whatever I feel like. I hope that doesn’t make you miserable.
 
Having children is dumb and it's wrong. People only do it because they're animals and are wired to do so. It doesn't make any rational sense. Even people who understand this that still had them, like Richard Dawkins just after writing The Selfish Gene.

If you realize that when you die you stop existing, why bring a human being so they just live for a few decades and then die? Creating a sentient piece of meat so it just gains self-awareness of his own death just to die later anyway is evil. Not to mention all the suffering, it's basically a gamble your child isn't born sick or experience a shitty life after.

In any case, even if you're very lucky with your (irresponsible, with someone else's life) gamble and you end up with a healthy and happy child who lives up to 100, still there's no less suffering that zero, so having children is always causing suffering to someone, and that's wrong.
Lol kys faggot
 
A "responsibility" that you yourself created and doesn't serve any useful purpose, rather the contrary. How does that makes you mature?

It's like setting a forest on fire and then wasting yourself trying to put it down. You caused it.
No. It's like planting a tree because I wanted a tree that future people will be able to enjoy, and hopefully one of those future people will be my child, who hopefully I've raised good enough that they appreciate why they should tend to the tree so it grows big and healthy. It doesn't benefit ME at all throughout most of my life to do so but it does benefit someone some day. You people that think like this lead truly miserable, selfish, undesirable lives.

If you want a "responsibility", why not using your time and energy into helping already existing people, contributing something positive to the world? Creating a child just to have to take care of it is dumb.
You can literally do both. I can have a job that saves people's lives AND have a child at the same time you dumb fuck. I can guide that child towards developing an interest in medicine, perhaps surgery, as well and help them grow into a damn fine doctor so they can help people too.
"WhY plAnt a TreE? YoU'LL jUsT havE to tAke CaRe oF iT!!!!"
 
I contribute my tax dollars to society so your kids can go to school, have medical care, and so parents can get baby bonus cheques. I think that's more than enough
Cheques eh? Angloid detected, opinion discarded. My tax dollars go to subsidizing 13% of the population who will riot if they don’t get more money fo’ dem programs. Yours go to retarded european entitlements. We are not the same.
 
It doesn't benefit ME at all throughout most of my life to do so but it does benefit someone some day. You people that think like this lead truly miserable, selfish, undesirable lives.
And hypocritical too. Ayn Rand had no problems taking government handouts after lecturing us on the "virtue" of selfishness. She wasn't a very happy woman.

You can literally do both. I can have a job that saves people's lives AND have a child at the same time you dumb fuck. I can guide that child towards developing an interest in medicine, perhaps surgery, as well and help them grow into a damn fine doctor so they can help people too.
It's investment in the future. So many people have become so myopic and focused on instant gratification they no longer understand the idea.
 
People always talk about the biological desire for women to have children, but I really think that men have that as well. Whenever I see some older fucker at the gym giving what he thinks is a life-changing inspiring speech to some 14 year old trying to do his next set, I just think :wow: dude you obviously either want to be a father and aren't or you just have a shit relationship with your kids.
 
People always talk about the biological desire for women to have children, but I really think that men have that as well. Whenever I see some older fucker at the gym giving what he thinks is a life-changing inspiring speech to some 14 year old trying to do his next set, I just think :wow: dude you obviously either want to be a father and aren't or you just have a shit relationship with your kids.
I remember reading another Kiwifarmer talking about his wife cooing and fawning over a baby and he said he'd never felt a greater urge to impregnate her and have a kid as well

there's definitely a drive to pass on your seed and wealth of knowledge. Too bad most fathers nowadays aren't teaching their son his trade like they did in the old days. So many men wander around not sure what they should do in life or are consumed by video games that they get distracted from being useful. Gonna be teaching my little nephew how to install a new window tomorrow!

And of course the soyboy disagrees lmao despite millions of years of biological evolution of human males having children and raising them instead of just ditching the wife literally being the reason they are able to exist and mope on here.

https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/pii/S2405661819300176 72% of men want to have children you depressing sog. Men are more likely than women to want children. https://pewresearch.org/short-reads...women-to-say-they-want-to-be-parents-someday/ Cope seethe and catch AIDS, furfag.
 
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And of course the soyboy disagrees lmao despite millions of years of biological evolution of human males having children and raising them instead of just ditching the wife literally being the reason they are able to exist and mope on here.
That's a problem among plenty of people in the youngest generations. They think that they know infinetely more than those before them and thus have the right to just disregard the entirety of past knowledge and customs. That either leads to political radicals who have no grip on reality, or to depressed hedonists like our resident anti-natalist, whose entire beliefs exist just in oppostion to those who preceded us
 
The New Normal in action. Gay male couples are just like het ones now and if they decide to be childless, well hey no prob, Bro! You do you. And if they change their minds and want to buy a baby, that’s fine too. Anyone can buy a baby, anyone can perform parenting. It’s no big deal. No concerns or consequences. Those old rules were so bigoted. So oppressive. So trad. We’re enlightened now, and the State and the Market has your back with all that now too.

In a few years that article will be written by a diaperfur tranny.
 
I’m not seething. I don’t complain about my children online or in real life. They are the brightest spots of joy in my whole world, aside from my husband. The highest and most treasured labor of my day is caring for my family. I taught my oldest how to read recently and the pride and love I feel when she reads street signs from her booster seat is immeasurable.

I don’t seek out childless people to proselytize nor do I invade childless internet spaces.

But truth be told, I do think that childfree people are silly and ignorant. Not because they are choosing to pursue their own interests instead of having children, although I can’t relate to that. No, I find them silly and ignorant because they think they have any idea what it’s like on the other side of the canyon between us. They see a parent having a hard moment with their young child at a grocery store at 6:30pm on a work night and extrapolate that every moment of parenting must be as hard as that. What hassle! What thankless toil! How enlightened are we who eschew such pedestrian choices!

Meanwhile, parents are too busy enjoying their baby’s first giggles, first step, first word, first “I love you, Mama.”

You literally have no idea what you’re missing. I don’t care whether you breed. I just want you to know how absolutely retarded you sound to anyone who actually has children.
 
He forgot to bring up the obvious part that reproduction involves a relationship with a woman which is a bad thing because have you seen the state of the average Western woman? Most people aren't even fit to have children. Globalists want reproduction so they can groom your children into consoomers at best and troons at worst. No point wasting money on children.
We exist for the children we don't yet have, and because of the people who existed for them like us long ago. Pushing this shit is sick. Anti-human.
NPC logic.
 
No. It's like planting a tree because I wanted a tree that future people will be able to enjoy, and hopefully one of those future people will be my child, who hopefully I've raised good enough that they appreciate why they should tend to the tree so it grows big and healthy. It doesn't benefit ME at all throughout most of my life to do so but it does benefit someone some day.
It's just a tiny minority of people those who contribute something to the world that outweighs the misery they cause. Even not being intentionally evil, the average person just lives to kill a couple hundreds of animals, breed more people who will do the same, and just die. They're utilitarian parasytes, rarely they contribute something that outweighs the suffering and deatsh they cause.

But if that were the case, you're still bringing a person to lfie so they just die. It's like killing a person in the hope (a suposition) they save some more, using them like a tool.

Having a child does benefit you psychologically. It brings you satisfaction, you see them as an extension of you, it gives a purpose to your life according to what you say.

"You people that think like this lead truly miserable, selfish, undesirable lives."

And? Am I supposed to change how I think to be happy? I'm sorry but I lack the ability to lie to myself and convince me of something which isn't true just because I'd like to. Good for you if you can self-delude, but I can't. If something is shit then I will admit it.
Haven't you thought that maybe the shit that happens in our lives makes us see things more realistically and realize how shit everything is? Maybe I'm more conscious of all the suffering there is in the world that the people who have that ability to self-delude or who never faced anything horrible in their life and have a bias to think that things are better than what they really are.

Depressive realism


You can literally do both. I can have a job that saves people's lives AND have a child at the same time you dumb fuck. I can guide that child towards developing an interest in medicine, perhaps surgery, as well and help them grow into a damn fine doctor so they can help people too.
"WhY plAnt a TreE? YoU'LL jUsT havE to tAke CaRe oF iT!!!!"
If you can do both it also means that you could do more with all the resources that go to one of those two, genius. Resources aren't illimited. How much does it take to raise a child? The amount of money that could save at least a couple tens (maybe hundreds) of children from malaria for example. Will your child save tens of lives to justify not using those resources to that? Doubtful.

Anyway, you could do the exact same with an adopted child, or even with children that are neither adopted nor your own, eg, being a teacher or some kind of mentor. Why do you need to bring a new human being with half your genes for that, gambling first on them reaching adulthood, and then on them inheriting intelligence genes and all those big IFs, necessarily?
 
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We exist for the children we don't yet have, and because of the people who existed for them like us long ago. Pushing this shit is sick. Anti-human.
What's wrong with being anti-human? The great majority of people are either evil or retarded. Just a handful of people are truly good worthy of anything. Any sufficiently smart person should be at least a little bit misanthropic if they don't have their head stuck in their ass and see the world how it is.
 
It's just a tiny minority of people those who contribute something to the world that outweighs the misery they cause. Even not being intentionally evil, the average person just lives to kill a couple hundreds of animals, breed more people who will do the same, and just die. They're utilitarian parasytes, rarely they contribute something that outweighs the suffering and deatsh they cause.
Suffering is relative. We all suffer. Suffering is a necessity. If suffering was so bad, we'd all just kill ourselves to end it. That brings you to death, which is also a necessity.

But if that were the case, you're still bringing a person to lfie so they just die. It's like killing a person in the hope (a suposition) they save some more, using them like a tool.
No, you bring a person to life so that they can help others. Your logic doesn't make sense. Killing a person takes away potential (if they aren't an organ donor) to help/save more people.

Having a child does benefit you psychologically. It brings you satisfaction, you see them as an extension of you, it gives a purpose to your life according to what you say.
It benefits you physically, too. When you get old, if you can't afford living assistance, your child will be there to help you (assuming you raised them right).

And? Am I supposed to change how I think to be happy? I'm sorry but I lack the ability to lie to myself and convince me of something which isn't true just because I'd like to. Good for you if you can self-delude, but I can't. If something is shit then I will admit it.
WAAAAH I DON'T WANT TO PLANT A TREE BECAUSE IT WON'T BENEFIT ME NOW!!! Actually yes, you should change how you think. Not what you think. You seem to have a predisposition for overly negative thought processes. Instead of saying "yeah, life has no meaning but I'm making the best of it" you're saying "life fucking sucks, we're all miserable, everyone who doesn't think like I do is evil and retarded, and nothing's going to get better so no one should do anything good in this world." That sort of pessimism is gonna shorten your lifespan, dude. Having a more optimistic mindset despite the misery is how you will give the middle finger to life's suffering that everyone can respect.

Haven't you thought that maybe the shit that happens in our lives makes us see things more realistically and realize how shit everything is? Maybe I'm more conscious of all the suffering there is in the world that the people who have that ability to self-delude or who never faced anything horrible in their life and have a bias to think that things are better than what they really are.
"I am soooo much smarter than these retard peasants because only I understand the amount of suffering in this world." You sound like an edgelord on sanctioned suicide jfc. I've faced horrible shit in my life, I've done horrible things. Making assumptions about the people you're talking to without any rationalization behind it is poor conversation etiquette. Yet, I still manage to continue with a positive outlook in life despite knowing that nothing matters

If you can do both it also means that you could do more with all the resources that go to one of those two, genius. Resources aren't illimited. How much does it take to raise a child? The amount of money that could save at least a couple tens (maybe hundreds) of children from malaria for example. Will your child save tens of lives to justify not using those resources to that? Doubtful.
Never donate money. Fuck charities. Can't trust any of them anymore. If you want to make a contribution, donate with my hands. I volunteer and put in the physical labor. That is the way to make a change. Realistically, you cannot save everyone. That is OKAY. But you can save some people.

Anyway, you could do the exact same with an adopted child, or even with children that are neither adopted nor your own, eg, being a teacher or some kind of mentor. Why do you need to bring a new human being with half your genes for that, gambling first on them reaching adulthood, and then on them inheriting intelligence genes and all those big IFs, necessarily?
I've heard way too many issues from parents with adoptive children to even consider that route lmao. The success of your child starts in the womb. Infants prefer stories that they heard mom read out loud when they were still in the womb. Prefer lullabies that were sung while in the womb. Preference for the same type of music that mom listened to at least 6 weeks before birth. Their success begins in my uterus. You don't get that with an adopted child.

They actually do something similar with service dogs and like, search-and-rescue dogs and military dogs. They expose the pregnant mother to loud sounds such as gunshots, construction, etc, which better acclimates the puppies before they're even born.

What's wrong with being anti-human? The great majority of people are either evil or retarded. Just a handful of people are truly good worthy of anything. Any sufficiently smart person should be at least a little bit misanthropic if they don't have their head stuck in their ass and see the world how it is.
If you take out china and india and south americans and niggers and russians and germans (wow look at my misanthropy of subhuman filth despite being of average intelligence!), most people aren't actually as bad as you think they are. All of us make horrible decisions, but that doesn't make us evil. Most of us learn from our mistakes and try to improve on them. Yes we recognize that life sucks but we continue on despite that. To call that evil/retarded is naivety or maliciousness on your part.
 
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There are many valid reasons why people choose not to have children and I don't think it is fair to treat them as "less than" for going that route, but people also choose many objectively stupid and shallow reasons to justify why they don't want children or even adopt. If you choose not to have children, for any reason whatsoever, it doesn't make you better or worse than people that do.

An example of a valid reason are those who wanted kids but chose not to because they didn't want to pass along health issues; that reasoning can be seen as very selfless and sympathetic to others. And person who made that choice for that reason would probably be seen as superior to the people that pop out multiple children despite having options to prevent it, only to abuse and neglect them.

But someone who chooses not to because it means less money for Funko Pops and "muh environment" is for sure not superior to to people who do have kids (not that I would want someone with those priorities producing kids).

Regardless, the motherfuckers that inhabit r/childfree and similar communities are a special breed of degenerate and to be honest the fact people like that exist in my world is very terrifying to me.
 
Good morning childless wagies, I’m about to have a way better morning than you are! I get to drive my kid to school, listening to her favorite tunes and chatting about things we see on our way. Then me and the baby get to play at the park and I get to watch him see ducks and turtles like they are novel and exciting creatures. I get to participate in his discovery of new and interesting things like breakfast burritos, hopping on rocks, and the sound helicopters make when they fly overhead.

Hope your angry commute to your pointless job is fulfilling and peaceful, don’t forget to have Two Minutes Smugness about the lack of carseats in your compact car!
 
Listen I'm with the general consensus here, that libs push this shit with ulterior motives, but also, having kids seems like an absolutely fucking miserable experience, I'm not a regular human which is perhaps why I see it this way, but I really think most people that choose to have kids don't really see the full picture and massively downplay the level of responsibility they are about to undertake, I truly don't see the appeal of having a family. I'd never push this way of seeing things on other people though, we do need people to reproduce even if I personally don't want to do it.
 
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