the merits of throwing quarters at the monkey to make him dance

[Sparkletor]

Tipping and cheering is just stupid.

The smartest ways to support Phil are by subscribing to his Twitch and contributing to hus Patreon. Think about it, a tip or cheer might get you a shout out or it might get ignored. By becoming a sub you get a guaranteed shout out plus access to tons of cool emotes and a really fun sub badge next to your name. On top of that you help Phil reach his sub goals that unlock really cool and fun events. And its only $5! You can barely buy a few pounds of onions for that price!

And when you become a Patreon supporter of $5 or more you get so many cool and fun perks. You get your name in a cool and fun Star Wars themed text crawl for the entire universe to see! Plus you get the opportunity to vote on which games Phil will play for a few hours a few months from now!

But the biggest reward for supporting Phil is the feeling you will get in your heart for knowing you are enabling a 40 year old man to act like an 12 year old boy for the rest of his life.

 

[gaarashatan]

Tipping and cheering is just stupid.

The smartest ways to support Phil are by subscribing to his Twitch and contributing to hus Patreon. Think about it, a tip or cheer might get you a shout out or it might get ignored. By becoming a sub you get a guaranteed shout out plus access to tons of cool emotes and a really fun sub badge next to your name. On top of that you help Phil reach his sub goals that unlock really cool and fun events. And its only $5! You can barely buy a few pounds of onions for that price!

And when you become a Patreon supporter of $5 or more you get so many cool and fun perks. You get your name in a cool and fun Star Wars themed text crawl for the entire universe to see! Plus you get the opportunity to vote on which games Phil will play for a few hours a few months from now!

But the biggest reward for supporting Phil is the feeling you will get in your heart for knowing you are enabling a 40 year old man to act like an 12 year old boy for the rest of his life.

are there special events phil will do if i help him reach his goals with my sub?!

 

[actually]

are there special events phil will do if i help him reach his goals with my sub?!

As a matter of fact, yes! The Tier 7 reward is...wait for it...a tax fundraiser!


Tier 8? A taxes fundraiser!

Tier 9? A single strand of lights for his couch!

Tier 10? A tax fundraiser where he berates you for not shaking out your wallet fast enough!

All this and not much more *SNORT* can be yours for the low low price of your dignity!

 

[Sparkletor]

are there special events phil will do if i help him reach his goals with my sub?!

I'm glad you asked this question, the answer is yes! In just a few days you will get to see the special cool and fun Halloween event where Phil will play several games for about an hour each and then not play them again.

The holidays are fast approaching! If you sub and give to Patreon you will help Phil reach his next goal. Let's face it, money is tight, the economy is bad, and there are no jobs in Phil's sector. Christmas might be cancelled. That is unless Phil gets support from people like YOU!

For less than a dozen dollars a month you can help make this cool and fun Christmas event possible. Phil will do a 5 hour (including breaks) gaming marathon of games Phil puts on a list and YOU get to vote for! As an added bonus Phil will pretend to drink alcohol and he will wear a hat and cool fun sweater!

There are only 6 days left to pledge and become a Patreon supporter for October. Don't miss out on this once in a lifetime cool and fun opportunity!

 

[gaarashatan]

I'm glad you asked this question, the answer is yes! In just a few days you will get to see the special cool and fun Halloween event where Phil will play several games for about an hour each and then not play them again.

The holidays are fast approaching! If you sub and give to Patreon you will help Phil reach his next goal. Let's face it, money is tight, the economy is bad, and there are no jobs in Phil's sector. Christmas might be cancelled. That is unless Phil gets support from people like YOU!

For less than a dozen dollars a month you can help make this cool and fun Christmas event possible. Phil will do a 5 hour (including breaks) gaming marathon of games Phil puts on a list and YOU get to vote for! As an added bonus Phil will pretend to drink alcohol and he will wear a hat and cool fun sweater!

There are only 6 days left to pledge and become a Patreon supporter for October. Don't miss out on this once in a lifetime cool and fun opportunity!

at least he doesnt not do goal events, even though money is tight he still holds true to his values and sets up something. not everyone can afford halloween lights, sometimes christmas lights have to do

 

[Adamska]

If we are gonna do that, then we need to know what DSP has produced “on his own” and without detractor influence in order to keep up his phoney baloney lifestyle. My unit of measure is laughs, so I need to know what you’re talking about so I can think about how much entertainment I got out of those moments.

Often you can get him to chimp at you with the same vigor as the dummies who chuck chump change at him without paying a fucking dime if you catch him in a shitty mood or are autistic enough to ban evade for one thing. For another, his attempt to avoid paying business tax and then getting fucked over, or getting into a rebound relationship with a genuine gold digger is a good one since that was all him on those ones. Him trying and then realizing he can't say lag on Street Fighter AI was also primo.

Like, I can see where sometimes chucking money at Dave can work well; for fucks sake I liked Tut's attempt at training him to be his personal clown. It's funny to watch him perk up when he's in chat due to thinking he'll get money to waste on booze, and how he got pissy but still did things under threat of not getting a big tip otherwise. But he had the excuse of being a fan, autistic and also stupidly rich, so it's not as dumb as a hatewatching fan autistically farming bits so they can chuck a low-energy troll cheer that is ignored 90% of the time.

Basically, I'm just saying the average troll cheerer is dumberer than Michael J. Hirtes, and that's hideous.

 

[PomegranateKing]

I once thought about throwing money at DSP to troll him. But then I used those shekels to buy some drugs and made those feelings go away.

Look kids, there are many ways to get the attentions of a fat man on the internet. Just ask any woman on a dating website.

Troll cheers can be split into two groups:


1. I hate DSP thus I shall poke fun at him in hopes he will be wounded by my sharp intellect.

2. I want to look cool in front of people who hate DSP. If I troll tip him it will get me some level of internet fame.

Either outcome is the same. Dave gets quarters, you usually get little to no reaction, and the future refused to change.

What you have to realize is that, regardless of HOW he got the money, Dave considers it as "Positive energy." If he received your cash, regardless of your intentions, you are now an investor in the future of one Phil Burnell. This does not wound him. Much like the chair story, it ends with DSP receiving something and your personal health is no longer an issue.

If you want to waste money, do something useful with it. If you cannot think of something useful, I will supply you with a helpful list:

Spoiler: Useful things

1. Have you considered getting a blowjob?
2. Drugs.
3. Donate to women who have been beaten and were forced to sell drugs.
4. Have you reconsidered getting a blowjob?
5. Give the money to me. I will ridicule you for doing so.
6. Upgrade your computer setup and/or cell phone.
7. Feed the money to a literal pig.
8. But seriously get a blowjob.

 

[DarkSoulsPhil]

I'm going to preface this with I've never and never will give money to Phil.

But troll cheers are the best thing to prod him for entertainment.

Phil has chat on lock down. He doesn't play online so sniping him in game is hard. If you remove troll cheers, he is boring. He plays everything super safe.

Troll cheers get him to say things he shouldn't, tangents that make great highlights and pick arguments with the chat (including collateral damage to his fans)

Unless there is a move towards a wings-style following with very active trolling, throwing quarters to watch the sad clown dance is the best for entertainment.

Although I would like to see a pie chart of his monthly income broken down into troll cheers vs fans.

 

[actually]

Although I would like to see a pie chart of his monthly income broken down into troll cheers vs fans.

Trolltips this month so far are almost negligible--$17 out of $1273.92, about 1.3%. I'm not going to try and tally up troll cheers for reasons I've mentioned before.

 

[DarkSoulsPhil]

Trolltips this month so far are almost negligible--$17 out of $1273.92, about 1.3%. I'm not going to try and tally up troll cheers for reasons I've mentioned before.

That really puts into context how fucking retarded people are to get worked up over other people spending their money, saying it keeps him alive.

 

[actually]

That really puts into context how fucking exceptional people are to get worked up over other people spending their money, saying it keeps him alive.

Eh. It fluctuates. He used to get a ton more troll tips and cheers.

 

[Wurstbrot]

That really puts into context how fucking exceptional people are to get worked up over other people spending their money, saying it keeps him alive.

Nah, it's not like everyone knew beforehand how much money he made with troll cheers.

I still can't get behind the concept of giving the roach any money (cuz I think he deserves not a single extra-penny for his "work") and I will still get nauseous when someone does it, but at least I can chuckle it off when the product is decent and funny enough. The whole Tut-saga with thousands of dollars resulted in a big hilarious (and kinda still ongoing) festival. Quite interesting to see more of the real nature of Phil Burnell, professional clown.

So yeah, if you have to waste money, do it with style. Or not, I'm not the police, I'm just a forum post.

 

[Raven'sChild]

One of our math nerds should break down what portion of his money comes from troll cheers. I'm willing to be it's a pretty small share of the $10k a month he's pulling in.

If each troll cheer were a dollar (they aren't) it would take a thousand a month, approx 30 a day, to make a 10% impact in his finances.

Whether you think it's dumb or not, it's not enough money either way for people to care about.

Quarters add up. Only takes four to make a dollar. On days where he receives more 'troll quarters' than anything else, they tip the scales from a D$P bad day to a tolerable one. *insert Wednesday's SC stream where all the 'troll quarters' made $1's his 'fans'/random viewers did not throw at him prompting his proclaimed 3-d chess chat purge of folks who did not have sub/cheer badges. D$P doesn't count his quarters until they all pile up in his bank account where he snickers to himself while making his next impulse buy ( ie. his new bladeless fan ).

its come to my attention that the farm, or this subforum. only one i browse has become a battle field of do's and dont's for detracting.

you cant do this, you can only do this. etc etc. when the basis of this subforum, at least to my knowledge was cataloging phils adventures of him being a jackass and/or idiot.

to which is slightly still the same thing but alot of in fighting of eachother because this person isnt detracting like they should?

i for one am sick of seeing it whenever i come to see what dumbass thing phil has done or said today, only to find a couple members bickering at eachother

I would first say that this recent trend may be due to a lack of moderation as previous bouts of petty sniping that should have been done in PMs were nipped in the bud in fairly short order. The best thing I can suggest is for folks to 'not feed the trolls' in the main thread and take their differences to a new thread or to PMs.

As gaarashatan states, the Main thread ( as I understand it to be ) is place for posting the information pertaining to the ongoing saga for folks who can't be bothered to actually follow the entire story in real time. It is Cliff Notes for folks who are interested, but do not have the unflinching autism, free time or cast iron mental stomach it requires to watch the raw, unedited soap opera as it happens in real time in it's entirety. Tevin's name gets dropped a lot in the main thread. As prolific as he is, Tevin doesn't stream ever D$P stream. One does not need to be 'a D$P detractor' to follow his sub forum. There are plenty of YT communities out there for folks to type their diatribes in the comment section about who they feel is or is not detracting properly.

 

[OneDaySon]

I wish my career was playing video games for 5 hours and getting thousands of dollars a month from people sucking up to me or trying to make me mad.

 

[This+]

I don't know, I take troll tips and cheers as equivalent of calling Chris's house just to yell JULAAAAAAAY and then hanging up.

The best kind of tips and cheers are seemingly benign questions or statements that triggers something deep inside Phil and go on lengthy tirades. Those I find are generally done by actual viewers and fans of him with no malice.

 

[JackDavis]

FYI -- If troll tips add up to 3-5%, it's THOUSANDS OF DOLLARS A YEAR

 

[Slander Man]

I don't know, I take troll tips and cheers as equivalent of calling Chris's house just to yell JULAAAAAAAY and then hanging up.

The best kind of tips and cheers are seemingly benign questions or statements that triggers something deep inside Phil and go on lengthy tirades. Those I find are generally done by actual viewers and fans of him with no malice.

exactly this. Blatant troll attempts usually get ignored, user gets banned, and he gets a quarter towards his gin.

 

[_XXIII_]

Does it constitute ‘making the monkey dance’ if the thrown quarters bounce of the monkeys head and it ends up spazzing out and flinging its shit due to something completely unrelated, hours later?

Dropping cheers on Phil (both trolling or otherwise) illicit three reactions from him:

1) ‘X just gave a 25 bit cheer and I agree with what he says, thank you some intelligent humans in the chat’

2) ‘Y gave a 25 bit cheer and he’s being a troll so I’m not reading it and you just got timed out. Well done moron. What a fucking nudnick.’

3) ‘Z just gave a 25 bit cheer and I have no idea what he’s talking about.

If you want to pay 25 cents to get only slight variations of those responses, more fool you. Phil very rarely gets trolled by cheering given the percentage that actually draw him into a reaction - the only ones that seem to get him are valid criticism, often from actual fans.

Wardogleader said ‘hey my brother died, if I can find motivation to make food, so can Phil’ and he went beserk over it.

Someone didn’t even give Phil 25 cents to say ‘bet he quits this before finishing like 90% of the games he plays’ and Phil got banned from Twitch for harassment of the guys blue beard.

Some guy said he was depressed in chat, again not spending a penny, and Phil berated him for derailing the chat with negativity.

The irrefutable facts are that Phil doesn’t need your 25 cents to get himself banned, alienate his viewers, lose his shit and drink gin until 3am - he’s more than capable of fucking his shit up ten times worse for free.

 

[OneDaySon]

Does it constitute ‘making the monkey dance’ if the thrown quarters bounce of the monkeys head and it ends up spazzing out and flinging its shit due to something completely unrelated, hours later?

Dropping cheers on Phil (both trolling or otherwise) illicit three reactions from him:

1) ‘X just gave a 25 bit cheer and I agree with what he says, thank you some intelligent humans in the chat’

2) ‘Y gave a 25 bit cheer and he’s being a troll so I’m not reading it and you just got timed out. Well done moron. What a fucking nudnick.’

3) ‘Z just gave a 25 bit cheer and I have no idea what he’s talking about.

The other one is when you ask him to rank something like a game series, or ask him a favourite, like a favourite game out of a series and he proceeds to say he doesn't have favourites and goes back to playing.

 

[toothless_banana]

Similar premise to not engaging in detractor content in its entirety, as you're only drawing more interest to Dave. If, for every ten or so detractors, one is brought in that becomes a chat-regular who either throws troll bitch heres, or maybe even becomes a true & honest Dave fan, shouldn't everyone just disassociate from him entirely? Every view you give someone like Tervin, retweet of something stupid Dave does or says, or being mad on the internet about some digital busker with one gout-y foot already in the grave, you're incrementally-opening a door to invite another vidar or tut in.