The NFL Thread - Root for your favorite team (or laugh at the Browns, whichever's easier)

[俺たちファームズでノッテる]

View attachment 6386614

Please, man. I said I HOPED.

 

[FootballBuff]

Harbaugh either needs to start reorienting this team towards a ground and pound model and really lean on Henry and Lamar's legs or Lamar needs to take a step up in decision making, because even with his defense making his job harder he fucking lost the Ravens that game.

If it were me we would run the wildcat until Lamar figures out how to consistently complete passes every drive.

 

[Americunt]

I'm glad that Isiah likely had a breakout game. FROM MY FUCKING BENCH.

I gotta give him credit, dusting himself off from that rough incompletion to almost bring it in to OT was impressive, but it's all on Lamar for not getting it in the prior snap. Likely did the best he could, and had he leaped literally less than an inch less, it could have been a really interesting game.

 

[Amerikaner Teddybär]

Tfw you put in Flowers on your fantasy team this week.

Because it probably is. You're telling me infamous Wigger Travis Kelce is in a passionate and loving relationship with a toothpick thin, living embodiment of white suburban teenage angst, after a lifetime of being an unabashed lover of concrete thick Carribean Queens?

BOMBACLAT!

Mutually beneficial for all parties involved, helps the league sheep-dog retarded teenage girls into pretending to care about the game and buy merch, helps TayTay move on from the fallout of dating an unironically hilarious, sorry, "toxic" guy like Matty Healy, and helps Travis rehab his playboy image in to being a slightly more masculine version of his brother's soy, marketable persona on his way out of the league.

At least Jason has wife and kids that seem to love him. Also don't compare Swifties to sheep dogs, sheep dogs are actually useful.

 

[Burning Bridge]

God I wish I could hit Chris Colingsworth with a nine iron until his head explodes. Fuck that faggot. Mike Tirico is cool.

When Madden retired, the suits thought that what was needed was an even dumber and less charismatic caster.

 

[W00K #17]

Toe game last night was very entertaining.

Idk why but I'm more excited than usual for this season. Sundays have meaning again. I wish I was in a coma for exactly 48 hours starting now.

 

[Elwood P. Dowd]

I've grown to respect the Pats as a Phins fan, I can't say the same for the Chiefs.

The Patriots are going to be as bad as last year. And may even post a worse record, since their schedule struck me as weirdly difficult. Probably the worst O-line in the NFL, which is why they're starting Brissett as basically a sacrificial lamb until things improve. And, yeah, I'm a Patriots fan.

 

[Absolutego]

The Patriots are going to be as bad as last year. And may even post a worse record, since their schedule struck me as weirdly difficult. Probably the worst O-line in the NFL, which is why they're starting Brissett as basically a sacrificial lamb until things improve. And, yeah, I'm a Patriots fan.

In the process of looking up whether your Oline coach had recently changed to explain the sudden terribleness I found this pic of your assistant WR coach and I have SEVERAL questions:

1. why is the potion buyer coaching your WRs now and
2. what the actual fuck is that haircut

 

[Amerikaner Teddybär]

The Patriots are going to be as bad as last year. And may even post a worse record, since their schedule struck me as weirdly difficult. Probably the worst O-line in the NFL, which is why they're starting Brissett as basically a sacrificial lamb until things improve. And, yeah, I'm a Patriots fan.

Welcome to how we felt in the mid-to-late aughts.

In the process of looking up whether your Oline coach had recently changed to explain the sudden terribleness I found this pic of your assistant WR coach and I have SEVERAL questions:
View attachment 6387711
1. why is the potion buyer coaching your WRs now and
2. what the actual fuck is that haircut

Damn, Gerald from Hey Arnold grew up.

 

[AllieKat]

Who is winning tonight?

 

[Americunt]

Who is winning tonight?

The Brazillians mugging fans on the way out of the stadium.

 

[Lean In Ban]

Fuck it, I'll take Eagles by 10 tonight

 

[AllieKat]

Which city finishes the year with more shot NFL players? Sao Paulo or San Fran?

 

[Amerikaner Teddybär]

12 men on the field penalties by both teams in the first 5 minutes? I'm thinking we're back!

 

[Absolutego]

Way to fucking go Barkley, great start to your Eagles career lmao
EDIT: Green Bay's new secondary might actually be a problem
EDITER: Brazilians ain't in the mood to tolerate Philly's general offensive incompetence, Hurts might actually take Jurgens out behind the shed and knife him

 

[Zucotti Manicotti]

Die eagles Die
What a sloppy game, for the Brazilians to watch

 

[Americunt]

Way to fucking go Barkley, great start to your Eagles career lmao
EDIT: Green Bay's new secondary might actually be a problem
EDITER: Brazilians ain't in the mood to tolerate Philly's general offensive incompetence, Hurts might actually take Jurgens out behind the shed and knife him

He's no Kelce, that's for sure

 

[FootballBuff]

Can someone tell me why Nick Siriani looks perpetually confused by the outcome of literally every single play? I swear to god he had the same befuddled slack jawed retard stare when Hurts fumbled as when his defense gets a sack. Its the same look Tucker Carlson gives people when he's interviewing them except you can tell theres zero thought happening in that empty brain cavity he calls a skull.

 

[Absolutego]

I honestly cannot tell if this is Hurts' fault or Moore's.
Hurts keeps turning the ball over but it's a fucking miracle when Moore doesn't have him hand the ball to Saquon or feed him 3 hook routes. Both of them are totally playing scared against the youngest team in the league IIRC
EDIT: nevermind it is absolutely Hurts' fault, they've got the refs moving the chains for them now
EDITEST: Sirianni is going to be fired by week six just for his taste in coordinators if Green Bay's C-team rusher is now gassing them for consistent first downs.

 

[Americunt]

I honestly cannot tell if this is Hurts' fault or Moore's.
Hurts keeps turning the ball over but it's a fucking miracle when Moore doesn't have him hand the ball to Saquon or feed him 3 hook routes. Both of them are totally playing scared against the youngest team in the league IIRC
EDIT: nevermind it is absolutely Hurts' fault, they've got the refs moving the chains for them now
EDITEST: Sirianni is going to be fired by week six just for his taste in coordinators if Green Bay's C-team rusher is now gassing them for consistent first downs.

Good, they should have publically hanged him and Matt Patricia in front of the Foles statue at the Linc after letting Baker Mayfield spank us in the first round.