The NFL Thread - Root for your favorite team (or laugh at the Browns, whichever's easier)

[Hunter Hearst Helmsley]

Whoever came up with the NFL taunting rule deserves to be mercilessly taunted for it.

 

[Guyspleasedontfight]

Wow the Ravens really suck this year.

Having a nigger meme qb who can’t get off the first read will backfire once the talent that carried him starts to leave. Ravens still have good talent and a great coach who is good at hiding Jackson’s obvious shortcomings but that fat contract they gave him will start biting them in the ass.

There can only be one Harbaugh in the NFL. Fired after this season.

retarded ravens fan will blame him before they blame their precious coon qb

Anthony Richardson doesn't make that throw

cuz hes not huwhite

He should, we are going into year 7 of his career and there are still conversations on if hes good or not. Murray really is fortunate that he plays for a irrelevant franchise like the Cards, he can get away with being mediocre and will get little to no criticism for it.

Don’t forget that fag kingsbury thought he was going to re-write the NFL with Murray and specifically tried to build the team around him. How did that turn out again?

 

[Absolutego]

Ok, this Jags defense is starting to look actually good, not "we're bullying damaged goods" good.
Trevor Lawrence remains aggressively mediocre no matter who's calling plays for him, however.

EDIT: aaaaand they've done it, suck it Niners

 

[Leaf Wage Slave Jr]

So, taking bets who's the first Coach to be fired this year? Early contenders are what, Daboll, McDaniel, and Callahan, with Harbaugh the Older being an outside contender?

Also lul there's already rumors of the Giants wanting to trade Russ, who the fuck would take him?

Also something about the Chiefs, but they're playing choke artists who've lost their QB, and Derrick Henry's crown is losing its luster in recent weeks. Seriously, how many of Lamar's MVP's were "He's the best Black QB"?

 

[draggs]

ESPN told me Geno Smith is a super accurate passer... his stat line this year

Game 1: 24-34, 362 yards, 1 TD, 1 INT
Game 2: 24-43, 180 yards, 0 TD, 3 INT
Game 3: 19-29, 289 yards, 3 TD, 0 INT
Game 4 so far: 11-18, 98 yards, 2 TD, 3 INT

Season so far:

78-124 (62.9%), 929 yards (232.25/game), 6 passing TD, 7 INT

Adequate but kinda pedestrian completion percentage, ok passing YPG, mediocre passing touchdown number, awful interception number

 

[Absolutego]

ESPN told me Geno Smith is a super accurate passer... his stat line this year so far

Game 1: 24-34, 362 yards, 1 TD, 1 INT
Game 2: 24-43, 180 yards, 0 TD, 3 INT
Game 3: 19-29, 289 yards, 3 TD, 0 INT
Game 4 so far: 11-18, 98 yards, 2 TD, 3 INT

Season so far:

78-124 (62.9%), 929 yards (232.25/game), 6 passing TD, 7 INT

Adequate but kinda pedestrian completion percentage, ok passing YPG, mediocre passing touchdown number, awful interception number

You can always trust the talking heads to be about 2 seasons behind the current state of a player/coach/GM, especially ones in Seattle. Geno was a super accurate passer for about 1.5 seasons, then last year his excuse was that he had literally the worst pass-blocking line in the league. Canny eyes could tell sometime around the game vs. the Browns in October 2023 that people had started figuring out how to cover his favorite routes and he was having a hard time adjusting.

 

[he who has thus come/gone]

Ok, this Jags defense is starting to look actually good, not "we're bullying damaged goods" good.
Trevor Lawrence remains aggressively mediocre no matter who's calling plays for him, however.

EDIT: aaaaand they've done it, suck it Niners

When they missed that field goal, I really thought it was over.

 

[HackerX]

So, taking bets who's the first Coach to be fired this year? Early contenders are what, Daboll, McDaniel, and Callahan, with Harbaugh the Older being an outside contender?

My bet is on McDaniel TBH because the Dolphins are the type of organization to fire a HC in the early/middle of the season. All it'll really take is the Dolphins not being semi-competitive, which will lead to an implosion (more than it already is). Which will lead to the Dolphins being spectacularly atrocious on the field.

Brian Callahan should probably be the first coach fired though. The Titans are a clownshow of an organization and they've straight up looked pitiful so far. I just don't think they'll fire a coach early/mid season.

Also lul there's already rumors of the Giants wanting to trade Russ, who the fuck would take him?

LOL, but why though? Who'd possibly be interested? The Bengals? I'd rather ride with Browning.

 

[Local Fed]

ANOTHER blocked field goal to decide a game. Bears block Vegas' attempt with 33 seconds left. Chicago's about to win 25-24 once the clock winds down.

 

[Iron Hamster]

Wow the Ravens really suck this year.

They really are posers.

Ok, this Jags defense is starting to look actually good, not "we're bullying damaged goods" good.
Trevor Lawrence remains aggressively mediocre no matter who's calling plays for him, however.

EDIT: aaaaand they've done it, suck it Niners

They have a protective O-line though Bosa was out.

Also lul there's already rumors of the Giants wanting to trade Russ, who the fuck would take him?

There is the suggestion that they call the Bengals.

 

[draggs]

ANOTHER blocked field goal to decide a game. Bears block Vegas' attempt with 33 seconds left. Chicago's about to win 25-24 once the clock winds down.

bad team lets a worse team stick around and stick around, worse team gets the lead late, bad team shits the bed with a chance to win. a tale as old as time

also pete carroll lol. call your last timeout. make them kneel down one more time. you never know there could be a botched snap even if it's like a .000001% chance

 

[Norms Abused Liver]

UT is entertaining and the only talented one in that bunch of faggot "creators" he associates with, but like the rest of his crew, the only team he's actually capable of making any proper analysis or critique of is His team.

Eh, I'd say Grossi is pretty damn good. The guy is a homer for sure, but he's able to call it pretty well when a team sucks and why. And swallow his pride when he gets something horribly wrong, which even the best analysts do.

Plus the guy has raised millions for charity, hard to hate anyone who does that.

 

[Absolutego]

Brian Callahan should probably be the first coach fired though. The Titans are a clownshow of an organization and they've straight up looked pitiful so far. I just don't think they'll fire a coach early/mid season.

Counterpoint: the Titans just got shut out by the Houston Texans, and Amy Adams is almost more petty towards the city of Houston than her father was, and he literally moved the team out of spite. She routinely files cease-and-desist lawsuits against any football or football-adjacent team of any kind near Houston if they wear a shade of blue lighter than royal.
Supposedly losing to the Texans in the Oilers throwbacks was the final straw that led to Vrabel getting fired.

bad team lets a worse team stick around and stick around, worse team gets the lead late, bad team shits the bed with a chance to win. a tale as old as time

also pete carroll lol. call your last timeout. make them kneel down one more time. you never know there could be a botched snap even if it's like a .000001% chance

The man has been in the league as a head coach for almost 20 years and he's still weirdly conservative about his timeouts.

 

[Amerikaner Teddybär]

Even in a loss there is a bunch of good in it. They have nothing to hang their head about except for a slow start.

They can lock back in against Seattle.

Starting 3-1 is a very positive outcome

We'll probably make the playoffs because NFC South be shitty.

 

[DSP's Tax Lawyer]

Okay boys, listen up. I’m going to need everyone to pour some POSITIVE ENERGY into the Packers v Cowboys game tonight. I’ve got some relatives who are of the “It’s their year” variety every year and I’ve been talking MAD SHIT about the Micah Parsons trade. Like, absolutely unbearable with “Hey did ya’ll hear the news??? That Jerry Jones is a senile retard that traded his generational, potentially HoF PASS RUSHER to the Packers for peanuts??? All because he got his feelings hurt that Micah wanted his agent to negotiate for him???”

Now I’ve mostly been doing it because:

• It’s funny
• It’s ridiculous
• Family members' copes “Oh he chose #1 because he only had 1 sack in a playoff game” or “Micah is greedy” or “Kenny Clark is helping our defense” (Last one is LOL TBH, but I still feel bad for Kenny)

What I’m trying to say is I REALLY need Green Bay to win tonight so I can gloat an unbearable amount. Sure, a blowout akin to the last time GB was in Dallas would be great, but I don’t want to be too greedy fellas. I’m not going to the idea and/or potential for a negative outcome because I’d KILL myself for realzies. I know I said I’d do it after the game last week, but I really mean it this time!

That means everyone needs to raise their hands Spirit Bomb style. Consult your Ouija boards. Pray to your gods (Pagan, Christian, Jew, Islam, Pajeet, whatever you pray to). Offer up personal sacrifices. Really anything to achieve the desired outcome here.

That also means YOU, @DSP's Tax Lawyer . I swear to GOD if you bring bad juju, I'll be REALLY REALLY MAD.

If you need help, let me know and I’ll work with you to deposit GOOD VIBES.
View attachment 7974006

-brags about the packers being amazing
-blames others for his role in the browns loss
-thinks its me who will be trying to drag the packers down.


I see you...

 

[HackerX]

Counterpoint: the Titans just got shut out by the Houston Texans, and Amy Adams is almost more petty towards the city of Houston than her father was, and he literally moved the team out of spite. She routinely files cease-and-desist lawsuits against any football or football-adjacent team of any kind near Houston if they wear a shade of blue lighter than royal.
Supposedly losing to the Texans in the Oilers throwbacks was the final straw that led to Vrabel getting fired.

Not implausible. The only thing going against that would be people infering Houston is really is their daddeh. "Haha you got bullied so bad by the Texans that you fired your HC after week 4." Though she's too retarded to understand the obvious inference.

The man has been in the league as a head coach for almost 20 years and he's still weirdly conservative about his timeouts.

It's one of those instances where you'd think being a millennial would be beneficial because they grew up playing Madden.

Fellas, it's almost time.

 

[draggs]

I’m not going to the idea and/or potential for a negative outcome because I’d KILL myself for realzies.

I have nothing against you personally, but now I want to Dallas to win because that would be funny

 

[Absolutego]

I have nothing against you personally, but now I want to Dallas to win because that would be funny

Come on man, just imagine the constant camera cuts to Jerry fiddling with the La-Z-Boy in his owner's box, looking grumpy while Stephen looks like a fatter Jeb Bush next to him.

 

[W@rui]

My favorite play from the Vikings game today

 

[draggs]

Come on man, just imagine the constant camera cuts to Jerry fiddling with the La-Z-Boy in his owner's box, looking grumpy while Stephen looks like a fatter Jeb Bush next to him.

I think it would be funnier to see Jerry trying to jump out of his La-Z-Boy in jubilation at the Cowboy's dub and breaking his hip. Then Stephen tries to check on him and falls on him breaking his other hip