The NFL Thread - Root for your favorite team (or laugh at the Browns, whichever's easier)

[Blue Gem Kosher Queen]

I blame their performance on the collapse of the Kansas City superfandom over the last couple years. First Red Xtreme hangs up his hat. Then he goes on to Debow that dope fiend X-Factor and gets banned from Arrowhead. X-Factor defects to the Raiders as a result. Next, Chiefsaholic gets arrested for robbing banks and goes on the run.

The Chief's Kingdom is in complete dissaray.

We fucking need a thread for this shit, holy shit.

 

[Leaf Wage Slave Jr]

Packers vs Bears. Two fan bases desperately hoping their QBs are elite despite no evidence

I’m only rooting Bears because Green Bay is due a shit QB after having both Farve and Rogers during their primes - sort like the Patriots since Brady left. If Love is shit then Green Bay might produce more milk than cheese as far as content - if the Bears are shit it’s just business as usual.

 

[break these cuffs]

We fucking need a thread for this shit, holy shit.

X-Factor gave a legendary interview after getting KOed. It seems like FOX4 took the video down, but here's McAfee's coverage of it.

 

[Bassomatic]

Big up to Detroit! Also, really amped for the eagles we def look strong and all the experts say we look strong. I did not know we picked up a chuckle fuck who's suspended all season tho...

 

[Osama Bin Laden]

hey guys, this is my first time in the thread but i wanna feel like im apart of something so i wanna ask this

where can i start as a new football newbie?
i heard the lions won. i hate the chiefs and their faggot QB brother. i've been rooting for their downfall for years now
im already into sports but im more into combat sports, what are some dope football moments i can watch

i'm team eagles all the way baby

 

[DSP's Tax Lawyer]

hey guys, this is my first time in the thread but i wanna feel like im apart of something so i wanna ask this

where can i start as a new football newbie?
i heard the lions won. i hate the chiefs and their faggot QB brother. i've been rooting for their downfall for years now
im already into sports but im more into combat sports, what are some dope football moments i can watch

i'm team eagles all the way baby

That's good sports, urinating tree, tom grossi, HBO's Hardknocks, a few youtube channels that break down QB play, and then if you can I would try to watch games through the UK version of the games. I was there for a bit a while back and they like to explain the rules a lot for their viewers

 

[Blue Gem Kosher Queen]

hey guys, this is my first time in the thread but i wanna feel like im apart of something so i wanna ask this

where can i start as a new football newbie?
i heard the lions won. i hate the chiefs and their faggot QB brother. i've been rooting for their downfall for years now
im already into sports but im more into combat sports, what are some dope football moments i can watch

i'm team eagles all the way baby

If we are shilling youtubers now, I nominate KTO and Flemlo for player level analysis. Ohio genes don't deny quality and they come with the Urinating Tree package. Picking other tubers is more subjective because a lot will only cover their own teams (case being Thats Good Sports, which started as Thats Good Broncos). Tree and Grossi cover lulz league wide regardless and even tho I like Grossi specially charity wise, I don't watch his stuff that much.
If you want to up your muttball intake you should give College Football a try. You get to see smaller markets represented, indulge in a whole different culture and meet upcoming talent. Right now its a clusterfuck with major conference realignments (basically bunch of teams with money are moving to different leagues for more money, leaving smaller schools to fend for themselves). I will never forget the day I spent at work trying to watch my first Dakota Marker Bowl.
History of the Minnesota Vikings wrapped up today and unlike that of the Atlanta Falcons, Jon Bois is able to stay in topic for almost the entire rundown.

I would try to watch games through the UK version of the games. I was there for a bit a while back and they like to explain the rules a lot for their viewers

I disagree. Look, Im saying this from experience and quoting that wanker Bois again "things stop being fun when you understand them."
For example, I have watched games on and off with my dad for years now and even though we watch those broadcasts, he isn't any better at understanding the game. And while Im actually invested in the score and plays, he sits just there delighted asking the most mundane shit like why are they wearing thighs? My dad is a San Fran fan until he forgets what colour they are wearing today and celebrates a tuddy by a guy wearing a neon jersey on accident. He just loves the chaos. He even does it with football, a sport he does understand.

 

[Super-Chevy454]

One writer on American Thinker suggested then the NFL should have the Bud Light treatment.

https://www.americanthinker.com/blog/2023/09/an_idea_for_how_to_give_the_nfl_the_bud_light_treatment.html

https://ghostarchive.org/archive/ju1gV

September 9, 2023

An idea for how to give the NFL the Bud Light treatment​

By W.A. Eliot

If you're like me, you've never forgiven the NFL players for dissing the National Anthem by kneeling during it before games.
If you're like me, you've never forgiven the NFL for letting the players do it while on the job. And no, it's not just patriotic first responders like military, fire, and police who should be offended; it's every American who recognizes and shows respect for our country. Why isn't kneeling so crucial anymore, when a few years ago they all just had to do it? Are our country's ills all fixed up now?

If you're like me, you're not happy with the NFL emblazoning Black Lives Matters emblems and slogans in the end zones and on the backs of helmets, not only because you just want to watch sports, not politics, but also because BLM is a corrupt, pro-Marxist organization that promotes violence, death, and destruction to suit its goals — not exactly the values you cherish. The NFL donates a ton of money, too. It is essentially giving BLM mafia protection money and exposure so as not to be targeted.

If you're like me, you find it hard to give up following the games (and for some, other aspects, such as Fantasy Football and gambling). Despite the NFL's best efforts to make the game less exciting (e.g., by tinkering with the kickoff using specious arguments about safety), it's still the best game around. Even from a social aspect, it is hard to stop watching and remain out of the loop when most of our friends and coworkers are engaged.
If you're like me, you still want to do something about it when the NFL tramples over your values.
I have an idea. In response to the question, "How does the NFL know how many people watch a game?," ChatGPT gives the following answer:

 

[std::string]

Bears fans, I don't know how to put this lightly...the FBI really needs to investigate what's going on with your team to make sure it's not a mafia money laundering operation.

 

[Drama Fan]

I’m only rooting Bears because Green Bay is due a shit QB after having both Farve and Rogers during their primes - sort like the Patriots since Brady left. If Love is shit then Green Bay might produce more milk than cheese as far as content - if the Bears are shit it’s just business as usual.

38-20 Packers W to confirm that the Bears still suck and can't beat a team of mostly rookies and sophmores.
Jordan Love looked good but definitely had a few iffy throws where he simply overthrew. (Inshallah he's the new Rodgers)

Fields threw well when he wasn't getting pressured or scrambling.

 

[std::string]

Fields threw well when he wasn't getting pressured or scrambling.

Aside from that pick six where he stared down his receiver. That was pretty bad. Though Love also had a Jameis moment where he just threw directly to a DB and just lucked out he didn't get picked off.

I really don't know why the Bears didn't use their haul to fix that fucking O-Line. Moore was working his ass off trying to get open and then just turning around to see Fields' face on the grass once more.

 

[Leaf Wage Slave Jr]

38-20 Packers W to confirm that the Bears still suck and can't beat a team of mostly rookies and sophmores.
Jordan Love looked good but definitely had a few iffy throws where he simply overthrew. (Inshallah he's the new Rodgers)
View attachment 5329565
Fields threw well when he wasn't getting pressured or scrambling.

It’s about what I was expecting. I’m used to my teams being Mid if not Terrible - hell, after years of my team up here in the CFL being the leagues basement, it’s nice that they’ve been good for a few years now.

Love didn’t look terrible, to which I can hear Tom Grossi letting out a sigh of relief in the distance, but it’s still early season, and against the fucking Bears. Time will tell if Green Bay has that magic touch when it comes to drafting QB’s.

Frankly I’m more amused that how even though he’s not on the team anymore, the commentary for the game wouldn’t stop talking about Aaron Rodgers

Bears fans, I don't know how to put this lightly...the FBI really needs to investigate what's going on with your team to make sure it's not a mafia money laundering operation.

Much like the Coyotes in the NHL, I wouldn’t be surprised if the Bears exist to serve as a tax write off for the league. Them being a money laundering op would just be hilarious.

 

[Here Comes Mongo]

Much like the Coyotes in the NHL, I wouldn’t be surprised if the Bears exist to serve as a tax write off for the league. Them being a money laundering op would just be hilarious.

Why I became a fan of this stupid team, I don't know. I jumped on the Bengals bandwagon a few years back and they arguably shit the bed worse than the Bears did.

Today was pure pain.

 

[Drama Fan]

I really don't know why the Bears didn't use their haul to fix that fucking O-Line. Moore was working his ass off trying to get open and then just turning around to see Fields' face on the grass once more.

Both lines were so Packers dominated even I was felling bad for the Bears. I'll be curious to see how they do against other teams. If they stay solid I think the Packers could be more dangerous that people were predicting, even if that's just being competitive in the NFC North.

Love didn’t look terrible, to which I can hear Tom Grossi letting out a sigh of relief in the distance, but it’s still early season, and against the fucking Bears. Time will tell if Green Bay has that magic touch when it comes to drafting QB’s.

Frankly I’m more amused that how even though he’s not on the team anymore, the commentary for the game wouldn’t stop talking about Aaron Rodgers

Yeah, I've got cautious optimism. Packers twitter was obnoxious for the entire off season because people wouldn't shut up about J Love being God's gift or not QB1 material.
It makes sense why people keep talking about it. It will be interesting to see if he can pull a Brady and give the Jets the extra boost they need to become real contenders. Alternatively, he could pull a Farve and just have a rough season with them. I'll probably be watching some Jets games this season, which is not a sentence I've ever even thought about saying in my life.

Also holy shit, the Bengals got fucked. That's just embarrassing. Cool Joe didn't show up I take it

 

[Leaf Wage Slave Jr]

It makes sense why people keep talking about it. It will be interesting to see if he can pull a Brady and give the Jets the extra boost they need to become real contenders. Alternatively, he could pull a Farve and just have a rough season with them. I'll probably be watching some Jets games this season, which is not a sentence I've ever even thought about saying in my life.

Frankly at this point I'll be most amused if, after years of shitting on the Vikings, Rogers goes full Farve and retires as a Viking. If only for the schadenfreude of seeing some Packers and Vikings fans I know Mald at seeing Rogers in a Vikings uniform.

 

[std::string]

Also holy shit, the Bengals got fucked. That's just embarrassing. Cool Joe didn't show up I take it

High winds and driving rain for nearly the whole game. It was Burrow's worst game ever and Watson didn't do too great either.

Unfortunately the Browns are built to fuck you on the ground.

 

[The Demon Pimp of Razgriz]

I...don't even know what that Titans-Saints game was.

All I can say is: a win is a win.

 

[CapricornusRex]

High winds and driving rain for nearly the whole game. It was Burrow's worst game ever and Watson didn't do too great either.

Unfortunately the Browns are built to fuck you on the ground.

You would think the Bengals ownership would know how to play in the AFC North. This is how the weather is all fucking year. Its why every North team is built to run the ball/defend the run.. except the Bengals.

In B'more news, the team looked.. okay in their win. JK Dobbins has, yet again, failed to play an entire season now that he will miss the rest of this year with an achilles tear after trying to get a new contract. At least demand a contract when you've finished a season where you played in 14+ games man.

 

[DSP's Tax Lawyer]

If they stay solid I think the Packers could be more dangerous that people were predicting, even if that's just being competitive in the NFC North.

Calm down, its the bears. Wait until they play an NFL team before jumping to such massive conclusions

 

[StillSpergingOnTheNet]

So that Daniel Jones contract was probably more of an overpay than it seemed at the time, and it seemed pretty bad when it was announced last year.