The NFL Thread - Root for your favorite team (or laugh at the Browns, whichever's easier)

[Dragged Into Sunlight]

Nothing is more pathetic than Cleveland football. Not even Arizona

Cleveland was at least respectable through history before the 90s drama. The Cardinals have been a joke for 100 years.

 

[Bartolomeo]

Cleveland was at least respectable through history before the 90s drama. The Cardinals have been a joke for 100 years.

What's the 90's drama? I was born in the 90's so the Cleveland Browns have just sucked since before I can remember and I just accept it as one of the guiding principles in my life.

 

[Squanto Airi]

What's the 90's drama? I was born in the 90's so the Cleveland Browns have just sucked since before I can remember and I just accept it as one of the guiding principles in my life.

Cleveland moving to Baltimore to become the Ravens.

 

[break these cuffs]

Cleveland was at least respectable through history before the 90s drama. The Cardinals have been a joke for 100 years.

Eagles nearly moved to Phoenix a few years before the Cards did. IIRC the deal only didn't go through because a sports columnist got wind of it, wrote an article with all the details in the weeks leading up to the sale, and then whole city went apeshit. Everyone from the mayor to NFL execs worked to sink the deal.

I shudder to think about this alternate Philly sports timeline where we got the Cardinals.

 

[LordofCringe7206 Vol. 2]

A big reason why the Cardinals are never really looked at as the most dysfunctional franchise in the league is because they have never really drawn attention to themselves. They have never really been the "worst" at something in the NFL. The Jets currently have the longest active playoff drought. Miami has the longest active playoff win drought. Teams like Tampa, Detroit, and Cleveland all had the winless seasons. The one thing they really have is the American championship drought, and most people don't even know they own it unlike the way it was cemented into peoples minds with the Chicago Cubs.

Another thing too is that when they have caught attention it has only been positive. They had a couple of really memorable playoff runs in recent memory and the Super Bowl against the Steelers is widely considered one of the best ever. A big issue with a lot of the other destitute teams is that even when they are successful they tend to end up causing themselves embarrassment and remind everyone why they are a terrible franchise.

Cleveland had a bunch of famous playoff meltdowns in the 80s. Jets as well. The Oilers run in the 90s were marred by infamous playoff collapses and their drama filled 1993 season. Philadelphia had their NFC Championship chokes in the early 2000s. Minnesota similarly. The Bills had the four Super Bowl losses.

The Arizona Cardinals are a forgotten franchise that are just allowed to exist in the NFL. Every once in a blue moon they will cause a little blip on radar, and it usually won't be for something bad.

 

[Squanto Airi]

Since the scandal broke out, Boston:
>Lost 4-2 in a series against the rival Buffalo Sabres, giving them their first series win since 2007
>blew a 3-1 series lead to the 76ers

Did Vrabel curse Boston sports?

 

[Absolutego]

A big reason why the Cardinals are never really looked at as the most dysfunctional franchise in the league is because they have never really drawn attention to themselves. They have never really been the "worst" at something in the NFL. The Jets currently have the longest active playoff drought. Miami has the longest active playoff win drought. Teams like Tampa, Detroit, and Cleveland all had the winless seasons. The one thing they really have is the American championship drought, and most people don't even know they own it unlike the way it was cemented into peoples minds with the Chicago Cubs.

I was talking about this IRL one time and a friend put it brilliantly, and it sums up the unique way in which the Cardinals are terrible:

They're bad, but even when it comes to being bad, there's always somebody worse. The Bidwill family is truly excellent at being bad owners, but there's always someone more blatant when they do a bad owner move. Bidwill's a cheapskate who celebrates a mild wifi upgrade in response to a bad player report card? Who cares, Mike Brown is charging players for their lunches and his father used to charge them for their jockstraps. He forces an owner pick to draft a RB #3 overall and make a splash? Last year Jimmy Haslam drafted the meme QB with a famous last name after the people he paid to run the draft already got a QB. He hires a drunk for years to collect DUIs like pokemon cards and run bad draft after bad draft? Let me tell you about Steve Keim's contemporaries, Dave Gettleman and John Dorsey.

The Cardinals are bad in a way where they're routinely outshined at the one thing they're good at. So they languish in almost constant irrelevance. A perennial bottom 1/4 team, a turd on the league standings, without the entertainment value that caliber of team can unintentionally provide.

 

[Zaryiu2]

The Cardinals are the western forgotten lolcow fused with being the NFL retirement home

 

[Mind Goblins]

Since the scandal broke out, Boston:
>Lost 4-2 in a series against the rival Buffalo Sabres, giving them their first series win since 2007
>blew a 3-1 series lead to the 76ers

Did Vrabel curse Boston sports?

Now that you mention it, the Red Sox also fired a good amount of their coaching staff a week or so ago...

 

[Zaryiu2]

Now that you mention it, the Red Sox also fired a good amount of their coaching staff a week or so ago...

And retroactively the Patriots lost the Superbowl and this happened afew days ago to Boston's MLS team https://www.heraldnews.com/story/ne...-miami-to-host-charlotte-fc-next/89880194007/

 

[Drama Fan]

I think they should just roll with Sanders and see what happens. He's probably not actually a good QB, but he's gotta be better than Watson, he was unwatchable last year and everyone fucking hates him. And I definitely trust Shedeur over Dillon "14/25 152ypg" Gabriel, there is nothing I hate more than boring game manager QBs leading their teams to 200 yards max on boring playcalls.

But this is the browns, who are run about as well as a crackhouse, so who the fuck knows what they'll do really.

I could see a potential use for Watson: Use him as QB1 as a warm body, Shedeur and Dillon aren't good but it might be a way to get off your back the former's dad and his ball washers and well Dillon ain't good but he's still on a contract and might maybe (big maybe) do ever so slightly better than Deshaun and I think his contract is going for longer (maybe?)

Yeah, I think Shedeur has the highest upside here. Dillon's a little hobbit and Watson's favorite receiver is the dirt.

But you're not envisioning the true nightmare scenario where Watson starts and drops 350ypg for a month before blowing his shoulder out again. Boys, we gotta extend him

See, I'm not envisioning that mostly because I'm holding out for maximum retard world where Shedeur looks like he has a high upside and Haslam is snookered into buying out Daddy's CU contract.
Both so I can hear family complain differently about CU football, and because that would be incredibly funny.

I think all of you are lacking in creativity. Here's my solution of having 3 duds at QB. Start them all at random, so opposing defenses don't know what they're going to be dealing with and have to study tape of 3 guys and develop 3 different plans. If the element of surprise is the only chance your offence has, then take it.

 

[Absolutego]

I think all of you are lacking in creativity. Here's my solution of having 3 duds at QB. Start them all at random, so opposing defenses don't know what they're going to be dealing with and have to study tape of 3 guys and develop 3 different plans. If the element of surprise is the only chance your offence has, then take it.

Generic NFL coach to generic NFL defensive mike:
"If it's the midget, your job is to do whatever you can to cover the middle field and trust in your line. Trust the DC to hand the dbs correct assignments. Kid can't throw more than 20 yards on a good day and he's too slow to dink and dunk properly"
"If it's the other two, read the alignment, send one of your guys to reinforce the weak side of the line, and flush them out. Both love holding onto the ball too long, can't make decisions under pressure, fluster them and it's a negative yardage situation real quick"