- Joined
- Apr 3, 2021
For some reason, it seems to be okay to fart in public and you'll always see a wide variety of farts in movies, commercials, TV shows and other media. I am not saying you shouldn't and I'm not asking you to sit down in your movie and pretend you just ate a bunch of candy, I mean honestly... what? You just shit out your intestines right? If so, then why the hell are you pretending you ate candy when you didn't? What are you trying to hide? Maybe it's all the time you fart in your car, at the doctor's office, while in the middle of a conversation with your family, friends, and coworkers.
It doesn't matter if you farts are loud, silent, loud and silent, short, medium, long, long and longer than medium, fast, slow, loud, in a car or on a bus or in the movie theater, it doesn't matter. It's all just farting.
You may as well just come out and tell the world the truth about what it is that you're actually doing when you fart. It's more than just making a sound, but your body releasing gas. Just go ahead and acknowledge that you're just flatulently gasping out life.
You should acknowledge that farting is just a very big part of you being alive. You just farted and that's all. You are a very large mammal with no legs (or even fingers). You may want to keep that in mind because you are also a very small part of this planet. In fact, if you're alive, it's very likely that you are a part of every other mammal on this planet. When you fart, you don't even know if it's coming out of your ass or your mouth. When you fart, you are just a fart and nothing more.
And, by the way, this is not a rant about the smell of humans and how foul they are. It's not a rant at all. The fact is that you stink too, you don't smell any better than I do, in fact, you may stink even more than me because you're a mammal (a big mammal with no legs) and I'm just a rat (a rat that happens to be a vegetarian). You stink because you're a mammal and you have body odor. That's it. It's okay. We all stink.
We all fart, we all stink. The smell just comes out. If you want to make yourself more human and smell better, please just go ahead and fart.
That's the truth about farting.
Now, here is a real treatise on the philosophy of flatulence.
The philosophy of flatulence is about the philosophical significance of farts. Not about what the sound is or what the smell is or why the shit is coming out of your body, it's just about what the fart is. When a mammal is farting, there is a very important process that is happening and you need to understand it. You need to have a mental picture of what it is that is going on inside your intestines when you're flatulating.
Basically, it's all about getting the gas out of the intestines, out of the colon, into the rectum and out into the world. This is how we all do it and it's very important. Most mammals on the planet do it this way. So, let's get to it.
You see, when you have gas in your intestines, the gas is too large to pass through the capillaries and blood vessels. It's just too large to go through any part of your digestive tract. If you have gas, the normal pressure of your stomach has to drop and you have to relax. So, you get a lot of gas in your intestine and you also make sure that you get that gas into the rectum.
The gas is actually like a big ball of shit. It is a ball of poop and shit. When you fart, the stuff is going to have to come out. That's why you need to relax your stomach. Also, since you have so much gas in your intestines, that's probably why you're constipated. You need to relax your rectum.
So, when you get gas into your colon, you can get all the gas into your rectum. Your rectum is a hollow tube and that's the only part of your digestive system where the pressure doesn't drop. That's what we need to remember. The pressure of your rectum is higher than the pressure of the rest of your digestive tract. That's why your poop is so big.
So, what does this all mean? What's happening when you fart? When you take a deep breath and you exhale, you are actually sucking the air and water out of your body. The liquid is sucked out of your intestines and is put into your colon.
When you hold your breath, the pressure of your intestine goes up and you make sure that you get as much liquid and gas into your colon as you can. It's also important that the pressure goes up in your rectum so that the crap can pass through. That's all there is to it. It's not a secret. I'm not holding any kind of information that I'm not disclosing and telling you about a little bit of medical and biological knowledge that the rest of you are probably not very aware of.
The fact is that you're taking your intestinal air, water, and food into your colon. That's all there is to it.
What is the philosophical significance of all of this? What is the philosophical significance of human flatulence? The true meaning of what it is that you're actually doing when you take a deep breath and take in a fart. That's it.
This is important for a lot of reasons. The first is that we're making fun of ourselves and our behavior. We're making fun of ourselves by saying things like "Look at this giant ball of poop, look at all the gas in my body." We're saying that it looks like we're actually eating a whole bunch of candy and we're saying that we should keep it in. We're making fun of our own farts. That's it.
It's not that you're doing anything really bad. You don't deserve to be killed by aliens or anything. The only reason why you shouldn't be killed is because we feel like making fun of ourselves. If I don't have a sense of humor about this, I should just go out and get a job because that's the only thing that you should be doing.
Another reason is that you're actually trying to release this gas from your intestines. We all have to poop and most mammals do it this way. Most mammals have a gas like this in their intestines and we have to let that crap come out. This is just one of the many things that you should know about your life.
The fact is, you should get a sense of humor about all the things in your life. It doesn't matter if you're a squirrel or a mammal or if you're a human. We all fart and poop, but what's really important is getting the gas out of your intestines and your colon and putting that crap into your rectum and putting your flatulence out into the world. That's what you're doing when you fart.
That's what the philosophy of flatulence is all about. You might as well embrace that fact about being alive and acknowledge that you're part of the process of making this planet safe for life.
Maybe you should think about it this way: you fart and you make the rest of the world a better place. Think about it that way. Think about what's really going on.
So, you fart, you do it, and you get the gas out. You're trying to make life better for your fellow human beings. You might as well just embrace it and accept it and then get on with your life. The fact is, when you're farting, you're doing something very positive and that is very valuable. It's your job to get the gas out and try to make the rest of the world a better place.
You should acknowledge that fact.
The next step is to understand what your farts are actually trying to tell you. What's the truth about what you are doing when you are flatulating?
Farts tell you a lot of things. Farts tell you what's happening in your body. The truth is, your body is going to release a lot of gas. Most mammals release a lot of gas. That's just how it is. But what are you doing when you're taking in a fart? What's happening?
You're taking in gas and you're making it bigger. That's all there is to it. The truth is, you're making the gas bigger. You're trying to make the fart larger. That's what you're doing. You're making it bigger.
What's the purpose?
Why do you do that? You're taking in a fart. What is it that you're trying to do?
The truth is, it's all about digesting food.
This is the big joke that you're making about yourself. You're taking food into your body. Your digestive tract is digesting that food. It's a process that you need to acknowledge. You're trying to break that food down into components. It's breaking that food into components to make it smaller and smaller so that it can be absorbed and it can be made into new cells.
When you're taking in a fart, what are you doing? You're taking in a fart. You're taking in gas that's been broken down and it's being made smaller. That's what it's all about. That's all there is to it.
The truth is, you don't really understand this process.
You have this great opportunity to do this very simple thing, which is to accept that you are taking in a fart and you're making the fart smaller. And, of course, if you can get the fart out of the colon, it's not going to be as large. You're going to be able to breathe again and you can get rid of it and release it. You're trying to take in some gas and you're trying to make that gas smaller and then you have to make it into smaller components and that's a hard thing to do. That's what you're doing.
The fact is, your body is breaking that gas down into a series of chemicals, some of which are poisonous. That's one of the things that you have to know about your life and accept that it's a very complicated process that you're not really taking into consideration.
There are very few ways that you can make something smaller and smaller. You can boil it. You can put it on fire. You can try to put it in a high-pressure press. You can try to break it down by putting it in a strong electric field. All of those things are ways of breaking things down. There are very few ways that you can do it.
It doesn't matter if you farts are loud, silent, loud and silent, short, medium, long, long and longer than medium, fast, slow, loud, in a car or on a bus or in the movie theater, it doesn't matter. It's all just farting.
You may as well just come out and tell the world the truth about what it is that you're actually doing when you fart. It's more than just making a sound, but your body releasing gas. Just go ahead and acknowledge that you're just flatulently gasping out life.
You should acknowledge that farting is just a very big part of you being alive. You just farted and that's all. You are a very large mammal with no legs (or even fingers). You may want to keep that in mind because you are also a very small part of this planet. In fact, if you're alive, it's very likely that you are a part of every other mammal on this planet. When you fart, you don't even know if it's coming out of your ass or your mouth. When you fart, you are just a fart and nothing more.
And, by the way, this is not a rant about the smell of humans and how foul they are. It's not a rant at all. The fact is that you stink too, you don't smell any better than I do, in fact, you may stink even more than me because you're a mammal (a big mammal with no legs) and I'm just a rat (a rat that happens to be a vegetarian). You stink because you're a mammal and you have body odor. That's it. It's okay. We all stink.
We all fart, we all stink. The smell just comes out. If you want to make yourself more human and smell better, please just go ahead and fart.
That's the truth about farting.
Now, here is a real treatise on the philosophy of flatulence.
The philosophy of flatulence is about the philosophical significance of farts. Not about what the sound is or what the smell is or why the shit is coming out of your body, it's just about what the fart is. When a mammal is farting, there is a very important process that is happening and you need to understand it. You need to have a mental picture of what it is that is going on inside your intestines when you're flatulating.
Basically, it's all about getting the gas out of the intestines, out of the colon, into the rectum and out into the world. This is how we all do it and it's very important. Most mammals on the planet do it this way. So, let's get to it.
You see, when you have gas in your intestines, the gas is too large to pass through the capillaries and blood vessels. It's just too large to go through any part of your digestive tract. If you have gas, the normal pressure of your stomach has to drop and you have to relax. So, you get a lot of gas in your intestine and you also make sure that you get that gas into the rectum.
The gas is actually like a big ball of shit. It is a ball of poop and shit. When you fart, the stuff is going to have to come out. That's why you need to relax your stomach. Also, since you have so much gas in your intestines, that's probably why you're constipated. You need to relax your rectum.
So, when you get gas into your colon, you can get all the gas into your rectum. Your rectum is a hollow tube and that's the only part of your digestive system where the pressure doesn't drop. That's what we need to remember. The pressure of your rectum is higher than the pressure of the rest of your digestive tract. That's why your poop is so big.
So, what does this all mean? What's happening when you fart? When you take a deep breath and you exhale, you are actually sucking the air and water out of your body. The liquid is sucked out of your intestines and is put into your colon.
When you hold your breath, the pressure of your intestine goes up and you make sure that you get as much liquid and gas into your colon as you can. It's also important that the pressure goes up in your rectum so that the crap can pass through. That's all there is to it. It's not a secret. I'm not holding any kind of information that I'm not disclosing and telling you about a little bit of medical and biological knowledge that the rest of you are probably not very aware of.
The fact is that you're taking your intestinal air, water, and food into your colon. That's all there is to it.
What is the philosophical significance of all of this? What is the philosophical significance of human flatulence? The true meaning of what it is that you're actually doing when you take a deep breath and take in a fart. That's it.
This is important for a lot of reasons. The first is that we're making fun of ourselves and our behavior. We're making fun of ourselves by saying things like "Look at this giant ball of poop, look at all the gas in my body." We're saying that it looks like we're actually eating a whole bunch of candy and we're saying that we should keep it in. We're making fun of our own farts. That's it.
It's not that you're doing anything really bad. You don't deserve to be killed by aliens or anything. The only reason why you shouldn't be killed is because we feel like making fun of ourselves. If I don't have a sense of humor about this, I should just go out and get a job because that's the only thing that you should be doing.
Another reason is that you're actually trying to release this gas from your intestines. We all have to poop and most mammals do it this way. Most mammals have a gas like this in their intestines and we have to let that crap come out. This is just one of the many things that you should know about your life.
The fact is, you should get a sense of humor about all the things in your life. It doesn't matter if you're a squirrel or a mammal or if you're a human. We all fart and poop, but what's really important is getting the gas out of your intestines and your colon and putting that crap into your rectum and putting your flatulence out into the world. That's what you're doing when you fart.
That's what the philosophy of flatulence is all about. You might as well embrace that fact about being alive and acknowledge that you're part of the process of making this planet safe for life.
Maybe you should think about it this way: you fart and you make the rest of the world a better place. Think about it that way. Think about what's really going on.
So, you fart, you do it, and you get the gas out. You're trying to make life better for your fellow human beings. You might as well just embrace it and accept it and then get on with your life. The fact is, when you're farting, you're doing something very positive and that is very valuable. It's your job to get the gas out and try to make the rest of the world a better place.
You should acknowledge that fact.
The next step is to understand what your farts are actually trying to tell you. What's the truth about what you are doing when you are flatulating?
Farts tell you a lot of things. Farts tell you what's happening in your body. The truth is, your body is going to release a lot of gas. Most mammals release a lot of gas. That's just how it is. But what are you doing when you're taking in a fart? What's happening?
You're taking in gas and you're making it bigger. That's all there is to it. The truth is, you're making the gas bigger. You're trying to make the fart larger. That's what you're doing. You're making it bigger.
What's the purpose?
Why do you do that? You're taking in a fart. What is it that you're trying to do?
The truth is, it's all about digesting food.
This is the big joke that you're making about yourself. You're taking food into your body. Your digestive tract is digesting that food. It's a process that you need to acknowledge. You're trying to break that food down into components. It's breaking that food into components to make it smaller and smaller so that it can be absorbed and it can be made into new cells.
When you're taking in a fart, what are you doing? You're taking in a fart. You're taking in gas that's been broken down and it's being made smaller. That's what it's all about. That's all there is to it.
The truth is, you don't really understand this process.
You have this great opportunity to do this very simple thing, which is to accept that you are taking in a fart and you're making the fart smaller. And, of course, if you can get the fart out of the colon, it's not going to be as large. You're going to be able to breathe again and you can get rid of it and release it. You're trying to take in some gas and you're trying to make that gas smaller and then you have to make it into smaller components and that's a hard thing to do. That's what you're doing.
The fact is, your body is breaking that gas down into a series of chemicals, some of which are poisonous. That's one of the things that you have to know about your life and accept that it's a very complicated process that you're not really taking into consideration.
There are very few ways that you can make something smaller and smaller. You can boil it. You can put it on fire. You can try to put it in a high-pressure press. You can try to break it down by putting it in a strong electric field. All of those things are ways of breaking things down. There are very few ways that you can do it.
