Though this pooner's come out of her cage, she's not actually doing just fine: after coming clean about wanting to troon out, OP's husband locked himself away in order to cope with the sheer magnitude of his wife's retardation. This one is unique because for once, it's the wife stealing her husband's clothes! Wishing him the best of luck as a trans widower.
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So this has been an ongoing journey for me. I’ve been trying to figure out if I’m more nonbinary, genderfluid, transmasc, etc. So I’ve been taking it relatively slow and trying things out.
While I didn’t sit him down and explain that I was trying to figure this all out, I wasn’t really hiding it either. He’s watched me completely change my attire to present male. I mean pretty much 95% of my clothes are his old clothes. He sees that I’m binding. Again I didn’t say “hey I bought a binder”,
but you can clearly see a difference between me in a binder and not, I leave my binders out in the open, and he’s seen me put on said binder. He sees that I cut pretty much all of my hair off. He even knew that I started going by a more masculine/gender neutral name. I even changed my name on Facebook.
So last night we were just talking about things going on this week and
I told him that at my doctor appointment I have this week with a new provider I want to ask them about testosterone. I didn’t even say I was fully starting it. I said I wanted to ask about my options. What would work for me, what exactly my insurance covers, etc. So that I can be more personally informed.
He did not take it well. Just kept repeating “I don’t know what you want me to say” and once saying “this is just completely out of the blue”. Then he walked away. Didn’t ask me questions, didn’t really let me explain in more detail, didn’t want to go more in depth of what he was thinking/feeling. I figured he wouldn’t take it all that well and he’d need time to process, but
I thought we’d at least have an actual conversation.
Since he walked away I figured I’d give him time to process and let him come to me when he was ready. I sent him a text saying that I was sorry if I hurt him but it just something I’ve been considering and I wanted him to know before my appointment, etc. This was around 10pm. I ended up falling asleep on the couch around 11pm.
Woke up at midnight to see he went to bed as well. So I didn’t get to talk to him. He leaves for work before I wake up too. So now I’m going to have to wait all day. Probably won’t be until like 9pm until we see each other again without other people around.
I accepted that if I continued this and decided to fully transition our marriage more than likely would not last, but I truly thought he’d still be supportive as a best friend. Now I’m thinking I’ve lost even that.
I hate that me taking steps to be more comfortable in my own skin is going to make me lose everything.
TLDR: told cis straight husband I wanted to possibly start testosterone and
he walked away and shut himself in the bedroom without talking to me about it.
A TiF struggles with dating a red-blooded conventional straight man because he has the audacity to date her, a woman, when she likes to imagine herself more akin to Peter Pan than Wendy. I like that she mentions how often it is that FTMs date regular guys only to realize they ain't shit - you're so close to self awareness, yet so far!
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I titled the post that because I see it happen so often in relationships with trans and cis people.
I guess this could be considered a vent/rant of some kind?
Me (trans man) and my boyfriend (cis) started dating 2 months ago-ish.
When we began the literal first thing I said to him was "do you care at all that I'm a Trans man?", he said he didn't care and that he liked me for me. Recently we had a discussion about the hypothetical future. He said he didn't want me to change any "biological parts" when I get surgery, and said he wanted a wife. He said
he was uncomfortable at the thought of dating another man, despite me having already told him I was a trans man, finds gay sex disgusting (if he were to do it, he doesn't care about other people doing it as long as he doesn't see) and
is grossed out at the thought of touching another man (this is of course his opinion, but it's clear he would be better suited dating a woman). I love him dearly, but it wouldn't be fair to either of us to continue this. He wants something I am not, it wouldn't be fair to deny him love and it wouldn't be fair to me to be something I am not.
We'll be talking later in the week, I just needed to vent/rant, and let other people who are in the same situation that you are not alone. (Literally,
it happens so often)
The mortifying ordeal of being known: a FTM who somehow believes she's stealth despite there being
literal rumors about her true birth sex comes clean about being a bepronouned blockhead to a coworker. If I were OP, I would worry less about being clocked as a pooner and more about the fact that due to sinus issues,
she has a straight up inability to smell anything - including herself - and we all know how stinky TiFs can be!
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Came out to a coworker today (I'm stealth),
I felt pressured to since I think theres a rumour that I'm trans. Coworker was totally lovely about it.
But, it really made me realise I'm just so embarassed about it. It was humiliating. I'm getting waves of anxiety. I'm worried it will be awkward. It feels like I massively overshared something weirdly intimate and personal.
She also hadn't heard anything about any rumour so I didn't even need to tell her, I dont know if thats more embarassing or less.
A TiF spouts off a rallying cry to her fellow hetty betties: don't put up with guys who don't treat you like you're a precious little prince
ss! Take OP for example, she found herself a big, strong man to help her remodel her home all while referring to her with the totally affirming moniker of "cute guy"! Never settle for less, queens-- er, kings!
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My brothers in Christ, I'm here to talk about the reoccurring posts about cis boyfriends disrespecting their trans boyfriends.
I've seen multiple posts about this in the time I've been in this sub and since we've been talking about transmasc issues lately I wanted to pop in and share my piece and though I'm specifically addressing trans mascs dating cis men, this applies to all of us- fems, mascs, enbies- the whole lot.
If your boyfriend doesn't actually respect your identity leave him. If he can't accept that one day you could be on hrt/have surgery or have different genitals- leave him. Do not put yourself through the heartache of being half ass "accepted" or only loved for parts of your body that may change one day.
As a trans masc myself who's been with all types of people, or a lot at least, I can tell you relationships of any depth feel better when you feel truly seen by the other person.
Boys, let's stop wasting our time, our energy, and heartache on people who don't even see us.
Now that I'm with my partner of a few years (who is a cis man btw)
I can't believe so of the behavior and treatment I put up with in the past. This man would do damn near anything for me and I for him. He is currently as we speak, helping me completely remodel my home. He'll drive me to work if I feel too tired to do it myself. If I have a headache, he'll rub my head until I fall asleep.
When we're together
he always calls me, "his cute guy" before kissing me. When we first met as causal "friends" off of grindr he said how to address my anatomy and what acts I was comfortable with before we ever did anything. He to this day still asks before doing anything he thinks could make me feel uncomfortable, especially regarding my gender.
We've had talks before about what would happen if I choose to get bottom surgery and how that could effect our relationship and he response has always been something along the lines of, "Obviously it would be different and there would definitely be an adjustment period for us both, but I should never be a reason you don't do something to make yourself comfortable."
I'm sharing this to tell you all I know there is better out there, and you deserve it! I hope for all of us, everyone under the trans umbrella to find a love like I have.
To know you are truly seen by your partner as who you see in the mirror looking back at you and that they would always unwaveringly stand for you when faced with scrutiny over your identity.
Nipple-free nitwit: when considering her surgical options to butcher her breasts, a pooner makes the mistake of letting her boyfriend know about her plans to ditch her nipples, to which he declares that if she chooses to forgo keeping nipples that it "might be a deal breaker." She is, of course, devastated - but it's not enough to change her mind, because when lemmings like this are determined to go overboard, they will stop at nothing to take the plunge.
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Lately I've been looking at top surgery pictures and considering what would be the best options for me, and I'm pretty set on not getting nipple grafts. Even though I'm nowhere near ready for it, I thoight it'd be good to at least know what I want.
I told my boyfriend about it and he got all awkward, and said that nipples were an important thing to him and this might be a deal breaker for us. I completely respect his reasonings and Im not expecting him to change his opinion about it, but
I'm still so crushed. We haven't explicitly broke up yet, but I know it's coming and I hate that it's over this. We've been together for over 2 years, have our ups and downs but weve always worked through them.
I'm just so upset right now I wish I never said anything about it
Fellas, how do you know if people are righteously respecting your true self as a li'l dood or just being polite so you don't have an autistic meltdown in front of everybody? OP wants to know, because the paranoia over being placated is fucking
killing her.
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I guess I pass. Strangers gender me male almost all the time (ftm), but I live in a progressive area so they could just be trying to be nice.
I have some friends that I'm stealth with (or at least, maybe.
I am anxious that they know but pretend they don't to be nice). I know one of them thinks I'm a cis guy because he's a bit transphobic and would misgender me if he knew. But he's pretty sheltered on lgbt stuff, so that's not indicative of how well I pass.
I think maybe my other friends do think I'm a cis guy because of some comments like asking if I was going shirtless to something, talking about getting kicked in the balls and other "guy" stuff like it's something relatable, etc, but I can't shake the feeling that they're trying to make me feel better.
For one, I swear I look like a girl.
Like, my face just looks so feminine and my body extremely hourglass and my voice makes me want to shrivel up and die. I just can't imagine anyone looking at me and thinking "yep, totally a dude".
How do I know if they actually see me as a guy or if they're just being polite?
A pooner at the tender age of
14 is making plans to commit suicide because her state ruinously declares that mutilation of her adolescent anatomy is unlawful and wicked. Where the hell are OP's parents that she's turning to crossdressing adult strangers online to talk about her desires to end her own life? Especially given that in other subreddits,
she's talking about committing fucking blood sacrifices. I swear to God, fertility is granted to the most repulsive of specimens.
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SB-49 or the (Save Adolescents From Experimentation) aka SAFE act is a violent act against trans kids in missouri, Passed in Fall 2023 it bans HRT for minors and restricts access to health insurance for trans adults. This legislation will be the reason I die, I have told my therapist this, she does not understand that gender dysphoria is a mental illness that is cured through gender transition, Trans kids will die because of that bill(and probably already have) I will die because of that bill, Nobody is challenging it. Suicide is the only option i see fit
Lastly, a betrayer of her own sex takes to her soapbox to proselytize against the wickness of radical feminism and how she fears the increasing encroachment of "TIRFism" (trans-inclusive radical feminism - i.e., trannies who are baeddels or otherwise love talking insane amounts of shit about pooners). Go on and bear your teeth, little wannabe wolf; your huffing and puffing can't possibly blow
this house down.
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Posts from all sorts of popular trans subreddits have been coming across my page due to the recent events and I've seen a disturbing amount of trans people defending radical feminism and TIRFism. When did the community get like this? I knew that there was a decent percentage of people who got sucked down that pipeline but wow, the transphobic assumptions and ratios you'll get for calling it out is something else.
I've been called a misogynist/MRA/transmisogynist for being against radfems and TIRFS in the past so I'll explain why radical feminism isn't a progressive branch of feminism and why we all need to remember intersectionality.
Radical feminism is built around the idea that men and women are two opposing classes, with women being the most oppressed group. The only real difference between TERFs and TIRFs is where they draw the line on who counts as a woman—TERFs exclude trans women as “inherently dangerous and privileged men” because of biology (bio-essentialism), and TIRFs exclude trans men as “inherently dangerous and privileged men” because of gender identity (gender essentialism) but also sometimes biology as well if they target transitioning trans men.
Their definition of womanhood is based on white womanhood and completely ignores gender identity in non white western cultures and how white women systemically harm men: men of color are brutalized specifically because they’re seen as men. White women are well aware of this power imbalance and
have historically weaponized it, accusing men of color of sexual violence to have them killed or brutalized for their benefit (something they would not be privileged enough to command others to do if not for the intersection of BOTH their gender and race)
. The whole ideology falls apart once you stop centering whiteness and start actually looking at how gender and race play out together in real life. It’s not progressive to embrace conservate non intersectional feminism, it’s just another way to police identity and silence people.
Claiming trans men gain access to male privilege is just regurgitating the TERF talking point that trans men transition to escape misogyny, for some reason members of the community are just repurposing that talking point against us and expecting us to just be quiet and agree with them like they've made some liberating analysis.
Life actually got a lot harder for me when I started to publicly identify as a man. Society does not see being a trans man as something to put on a pedestal, and we don't all pass like the strawman people have of us in their imagination. Privilege can't be taken away, and we lose it when people know we're trans. So for
any situations where someone knows your medical history or needs to do a background check we lose that privilege (aka in all situations with actual structures of power in society). Maybe talking to someone in a one time situation or passing them on the streets they'll treat you like a man bu
t its actually a lot more difficult to pass as a cishet man than others assume. Its not like we know how to make our speech patterns, tone, and mannerisms masculine immediately when we come out. There is a difference between sociopolitical catagorization and personal identity, and I find that a lot of people are mixing the two together in bad faith to make their arguments.
Also can we stop with the "transmisandry/transandrophobia isn't real because men aren't systemically oppressed", those terms are describing how misogyny and transphobia come together in ways that specifically harm trans men, that's why it's transandro* phobia stop splitting it like trans* androphobia in bad faith when you know exactly what we mean talking about the term.
