Megathread The Pooner Zoo - A thread for collecting wild Pooners and posting OC Pooners, and anything Pooner related

[Cnaiur urs Skiotha]

This one is just sad

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Idk I think it’s pretty fucking funny actually! A little crochet doll, are you fucking kidding me? So fucking masc bro Imagine any man’s reaction if they came out of surgery and got handed this. Personally I would be baffled if not a little offended to be treated like a child like this. Pretty sure I stopped taking a toy from the dentist when I was like 12 lol

I’ll hand it to the titty-butcher tho, he clearly understands his clientele, they are women-children who will squeal happily at this and then flounce off to Reddit to harvest pooner updoots

 

[Athena Save Us!]

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This is Zack, or known by her TikTok "zackthephoenix". She's a Christfag and an anti-war advocate who supports Palestine. Nothing unusual there, except for the part where she self immolated for Palestine near a gas station where almost no one saw her, and survived.

Spoiler: I have no words for this.

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Spoiler: She tells the story

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https://www.tiktok.com/video/7436562494497230122

archive of tiktok

Spoiler: Oops, ruined my life for nothing. Also hating Jews is mean.

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Oh my Athena/Minerva/Odin/Mimir/Apollo,Saraswati/Thoth/Jesus and all other gods of wisdom, that was not a good thing to do, lil' dood! Despite the poonerism, she looked like a fairly reasonable person in the images, before transitioning to Fallout ghoul. I think, "I shouldn't have set myself on fire because fire doesn't solve anything," is the understatement of the year. I hope you're happy now that you've managed to wreck your health (more) and guarantee that you'll be clocked as female every time you talk. Granted, given that you decided to go full-on To The Pain, you'll be lucky if you get that far and don't just get avoided or hear "dear God what is that thing," being uttered under the breath of everyone you pass by.

The worst part is what the effect of taking HRT has on the developing fetus. The resulting baby is more than likely going to be a deformed potato.

lil pooner says she’s going to go full columbine shooter if she hears anyone talk about female bodily functions.

Sounds like a terroristic threat if you ask me View attachment 7588978

I have no clue what the response means, but Sad_Explorer6330 needs some actual (not poonism) treatment if she's so dysphoric she's willing to commit mass murder... and has threatened it four times!

Cnaiur urs Skiotha your dentist gave you toys?!? Why didn't I get toys? You've ruined my childhood worse than climate change.

 

[Mad_Dog]

Idk I think it’s pretty fucking funny actually! A little crochet doll, are you fucking kidding me? So fucking masc bro Imagine any man’s reaction if they came out of surgery and got handed this. Personally I would be baffled if not a little offended to be treated like a child like this. Pretty sure I stopped taking a toy from the dentist when I was like 12 lol

I’ll hand it to the titty-butcher tho, he clearly understands his clientele, they are women-children who will squeal happily at this and then flounce off to Reddit to harvest pooner updoots

Nah bro, she knitted it for the surgeon. That makes it even more fembrained.

 

[derpi]

This one is just sad

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“Now show me on the doll where he committed malpractice.”

 

[Lili5000]

Je ne sais pas, je trouve ça vraiment marrant ! Une petite poupée au crochet, tu te fous de moi ? Tellement viril, mec. Imaginez la réaction de n'importe quel homme s'il sortait du bloc opératoire et se voyait remettre ça. Personnellement, je serais déconcerté, voire un peu offensé, d'être traité comme un enfant comme ça. Je suis presque sûr d'avoir arrêté de prendre un jouet chez le dentiste à 12 ans, mdr

Je vais le donner au boucher de nichons, il comprend clairement sa clientèle, ce sont des femmes-enfants qui vont crier de joie à cela et ensuite se précipiter sur Reddit pour récolter des chignons de chat.

Is like a transexuall Ken or He-man. Really bizarre idea, but cool, actually. Even if could be fun, I wouldn't want that toy or whatever. Who knows what the surgeon was thinking. Maybe he knew his patient would like it.

Non, mec, elle l'a tricoté pour le chirurgien. Ça le rend encore plus féminin.

Oh! OK! Maybe the surgeon was terrified. A horror movie could start like that. Or maybe he thought it was cute, but I think it's possible that it scared him a little, at least.

 

[Larry David's Opera Cape]

Idk I think it’s pretty fucking funny actually! A little crochet doll, are you fucking kidding me? So fucking masc bro Imagine any man’s reaction if they came out of surgery and got handed this. Personally I would be baffled if not a little offended to be treated like a child like this. Pretty sure I stopped taking a toy from the dentist when I was like 12 lol

I’ll hand it to the titty-butcher tho, he clearly understands his clientele, they are women-children who will squeal happily at this and then flounce off to Reddit to harvest pooner updoots

This wasn't a prize like the slinky from the dispenser at the dentist's office. This insane pooner hand-crafted her surgeon a female sexual mutilation amigurumi. So kawaii!

 

[Dragged Into Sunlight]

I heard someone say the other day that Cavetown has transitioned into a ginger Kurtis Conner and now I can't unsee it.
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Who does this woman think she's fooling? Cavetown is the most twee, uwu, softboi idolizing indie music imaginable that nobody would ever mistake as coming from a man. It's Tumblr distilled into human form.

 

[Dragged Into Sunlight]

View attachment 7518232View attachment 7518233
This is Zack, or known by her TikTok "zackthephoenix". She's a Christfag and an anti-war advocate who supports Palestine. Nothing unusual there, except for the part where she self immolated for Palestine near a gas station where almost no one saw her, and survived.

Spoiler: I have no words for this.

View attachment 7518298

Spoiler: She tells the story

View attachment 7518289

https://www.tiktok.com/video/7436562494497230122

archive of tiktok

Spoiler: Oops, ruined my life for nothing. Also hating Jews is mean.

View attachment 7518329

Jesus Christ, if I ever get cooked like that my family better fucking let me die. Imagine doing that to yourself over a conflict that doesn't even remotely concern you. "Bring awareness to the conflict" Bitch, the only thing it has done is made me aware that your side is full of crazies.

 

[Comp0site Specter]

This one is just sad

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This might genuinely be one of the most feminine things I've ever seen. Not even in a derogatory manner, but why on gods green earth is this ukulele girl incarnate trying to become a man.

 

[2mm and 99 others]

Nah bro, she knitted it for the surgeon. That makes it even more fembrained.

I can't even think of a more (stereo)typically girly hobby, than that. There are men who knit (things like nordic sweaters), even beading has some actual men, there are guys who do some embroidery to perfect their historic or pagan larp costumes. But fuckin' amigurumi? There must be some troon out there who at least tried it for the girliness factor, but the toys on their post-op hospital photos and such are almost always store-bought plushes, if I remember. Never anything crocheted.

 

[Cnaiur urs Skiotha]

Nah bro, she knitted it for the surgeon. That makes it even more fembrained.

I guess that makes more sense? But yes, as a male the idea of giving little crafts to the medical-industrial professional who is excising your tissues is very alien to me, so much so that it literally didn't occur to me when I first saw this.

 

[Iron Jaguar]

Granted, given that you decided to go full-on To The Pain, you'll be lucky if you get that far and don't just get avoided or hear "dear God what is that thing," being uttered under the breath of everyone you pass by.

Great reference! Especially appropriate given that Pooners are gamblers.

 

[Dolly Brooks]

lil pooner says she’s going to go full columbine shooter if she hears anyone talk about female bodily functions.

Sounds like a terroristic threat if you ask me View attachment 7588978

He says he’s 15…

 

[Ruined by the Rain]

I have no clue what the response means, but Sad_Explorer6330 needs some actual (not poonism) treatment if she's so dysphoric she's willing to commit mass murder... and has threatened it four times!

That's a moid. He's malding about not having a period

He says he’s 15…
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He sounds like a repressed gay kid

 

[Athena Save Us!]

He says he’s 15…
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Yikes. Yeah, not a pooner, then. It sounds like this kid needs to be protected from himself. He wants to do hard drugs, get kidnapped (and get the attention from being kidnapped), get raped and tortured, and get all the right parts to become pregnant.

...and if he regrets it, who cares because he'll have matured so much by then!

 

[Larry David's Opera Cape]

He says he’s 15…
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Not supposed to dx pds until a bit into early adulthood, rarely is a multiple pd dx sound, this kid is seeing Dr. Google (well probably Dr. Discord).

 

[Dolly Brooks]

Not supposed to dx pds until a bit into early adulthood, rarely is a multiple pd dx sound, this kid is seeing Dr. Google (well probably Dr. Discord).

He’s clearly some kind of fucked up though, so he’s right about that part.

 

[Paper Machete]

"I also have an extremely high intelligence"

Sure bud.

Most everyone who says shit like that may have a high verbal IQ, technically, but are mildly retarded in pretty much every other way. It's also why a lot of former "gifted" kids actually drop off. They're ahead linguistically but fail to keep up in other areas. Just neurotic and fishing for attention. "Woe is me, I am so special and great...I'll have to end it all!" The usual teenage dramatics.

 

[Slideshow Bill]

Jesus Christ, if I ever get cooked like that my family better fucking let me die. Imagine doing that to yourself over a conflict that doesn't even remotely concern you. "Bring awareness to the conflict" Bitch, the only thing it has done is made me aware that your side is full of crazies.

Spoiler: Suicide PL

Things like this have been better suicide prevention than anything else. You think you want to die now? Imagine how you'll feel after fucking up your attempt. You only get one shot at that and the more reliable methods are things you don't want to survive and the less messy methods are unreliable. Try to blow your head off with a shotgun and you flinch. Adios, front of your face. Or you aim for the temple with a handgun and the caliber isn't high enough so you end up lobotomizing yourself. Try to hang yourself but you miscalculate the drop so you suffer the entire time and if someone saves you, you'll likely be brain damaged. If by chance I have a NDE and end up disabled or brain damaged, I hope my loved ones have the sense to end my suffering.

 

[Dolly Brooks]

Spoiler: Suicide PL

Things like this have been better suicide prevention than anything else. You think you want to die now? Imagine how you'll feel after fucking up your attempt. You only get one shot at that and the more reliable methods are things you don't want to survive and the less messy methods are unreliable. Try to blow your head off with a shotgun and you flinch. Adios, front of your face. Or you aim for the temple with a handgun and the caliber isn't high enough so you end up lobotomizing yourself. Try to hang yourself but you miscalculate the drop so you suffer the entire time and if someone saves you, you'll likely be brain damaged. If by chance I have a NDE and end up disabled or brain damaged, I hope my loved ones have the sense to end my suffering.

Spoiler: Off topic

I’m much better now but I was really depressed in my late teens/early 20’s and this is the main thing that kept me alive on the worst days. Humans can survive some crazy shit sometimes and I didn’t want to be sad AND have no face. Sure there are more concrete methods but that’s kinda mean to the nice CSX employee.