Inactive The Ralpharing - One ring to gunt them all, value dropping by the minute

[Punished Brent]

View attachment 3232525
This is so vile.

What the fuck even is that?

 

[SevenEightNine]

The ralpharing got a cameo on the abortion protest road trip!

 

[AltisticRight]

The ralpharing got a cameo on the abortion protest road trip!
View attachment 3245224

I don't know what's more ghastly.
The putrid venue that should be on an episode of Kitchen Nightmares, or his zirconia dead grandpa's ring.

He would need a guillotine to take that ring off his claw.

 

[MirnaMinkoff]

I don't know what's more ghastly.
The putrid venue that should be on an episode of Kitchen Nightmares, or his zirconia dead grandpa's ring.
View attachment 3245233
He would need a guillotine to take that ring off his claw.

He’s wearing it 24/7 because he can’t get pawpaw’s pimp ring off.

Someone needs to ask him a question about it that requires he remove it to showcase its hallmarks.

 

[GaryGrey]

He’s wearing it 24/7 because he can’t get pawpaw’s pimp ring off.

Someone needs to ask him a question about it that requires he remove it to showcase its hallmarks.

He was worried that it would get stolen if he left it in his glove box while at the protest. Instincts were spot on because I trust the cops about as much as windows smashers not to steal shit when searching a vehicle.

 

[エボラちゃん]

Ralph is allergic to metal but the "finest one".

 

[Rinascere]

Ralph is allergic to metal but the "finest one".

Not to mention he's now claiming that his ring, which we have visual evidence is made of 14K gold, is 18K gold. He's either trying to inflate the value of it retroactively since people have called that it's some gaudy strip mall special or he's so mentally off the goop that he legitimately can't remember or read.

 

[Puck]

Since Ralph has taken Chris' throne he needs his own amnyfest ring

 

[Obscura539]

Ralph, if you don’t resize that ring you’re going to legitimately have a hoof when you lose that finger to necrosis. Certainly a man of your station could afford the finest of jewelers for a routine resizing. The thing looks like a corset on your sausage fingers.

 

[Null]

Ralph exposing his ring was nickel and glass by having an allergic reaction to it is the funniest shit possible. It's like a movie. You have to really sit down and think to come up with some twists like this to serve as a punchline in a script.

Silver, Gold, Platinum are precious metals. They're hypoallergenic. *Sometimes* silver is hardened with nickel, but any good ring will be sterling and fortified with copper - also hypoallergenic.

There's a 100% chance he pulled out that pawn shop piece of shit just because both me and vickers both like precious metals, but of course he fucks that up somehow. Ralph is God's biggest clown and he is given the funniest battles.

 

[♦️ King of Diamonds ♦️]

Ralph exposing his ring was nickel and glass by having an allergic reaction to it is the funniest shit possible. It's like a movie. You have to really sit down and think to come up with some twists like this to serve as a punchline in a script.

Silver, Gold, Platinum are precious metals. They're hypoallergenic. *Sometimes* silver is hardened with nickel, but any good ring will be sterling and fortified with copper - also hypoallergenic.

There's a 100% chance he pulled out that pawn shop piece of shit just because both me and vickers both like precious metals, but of course he fucks that up somehow. Ralph is God's biggest clown and he is given the funniest battles.

It could be worse... it could be the "wedding ring" Ralph bought Pantsu- now THAT shit is some crackerjack-box prize lmao

 

[Kinochet]

Ralph, prove Broke Dick Farms wrong and have the ring appraised live on air! Show those alogs who’s boss!

 

[ChromaQuack]

They're hypoallergenic.

Gold in jewelry isn't as hypoallergenic as you'd think. Particularly when used in 14-18k alloys, since they are mixed with metals that are allergens. 14k in particular has about 40% of mixed "other" metals in, which is iirc what ethan's ring is made out of.

However, I would like to add something that, even should the ring be true and honest gold, would still make this funny.

Hypersensitivity to gold is statistically linked to female gender and to allergic reactions to nickel and cobalt.

Even when it comes to allergies, Ethan can't help but being a bitch.

 

[HotdogWater]

Chuckles

"You mean the chaos truffles, bitch?!"

 

[ChromaQuack]

Chuckles

"You mean the chaos truffles, bitch?!"View attachment 3463240

Accurate, but that picture gives me a different vibe.

 

[Procrastinhater]

Chuckles

"You mean the chaos truffles, bitch?!"View attachment 3463240

Nice fuckin Claw of Fail you got going there fat man.
This greasy bastard gets more like Chris every day.

 

[Tonberry]

Nice fuckin Claw of Fail you got going there fat man.
This greasy bastard gets more like Chris every day.

The transformation is nearly complete. I give it a week or two before Ralph starts claiming the ring is the source of all his powers.
The sad part is that since The Captain bought it for $200, the Amnyfest Ring is unironically more valuable than Ralph's will ever be.

 

[Duke-Diggler]

I really don't understand people who splurge so much money on useless things like rings or jewelry. It's almost like they're really trying to be like the former kings/queens of old who dress themselves like "gods" only to break the bank and live in squalor because of it.

The actual rich people literally buy discount shit because they know they can look good without wasting money on something so trivial as brands or jewelry.

What use do people really have for Jewelry?

 

[3322]

I really don't understand people who splurge so much money on useless things like rings or jewelry. It's almost like they're really trying to be like the former kings/queens of old who dress themselves like "gods" only to break the bank and live in squalor because of it.

The actual rich people literally buy discount shit because they know they can look good without wasting money on something so trivial as brands or jewelry.

What use do people really have for Jewelry?

The ring is barely worth three-fiddy and it was also given to him as a "family heirloom". It's probably something that his grandpa drunkenly bought on QVC, not knowing he was getting completely scammed.

 

[Procrastinhater]

The ring is barely worth three-fiddy and it was also given to him as a "family heirloom". It's probably something that his grandpa drunkenly bought on QVC, not knowing he was getting completely scammed.

View attachment 3463507

It actually (particularly the stones) looks like the shit they used to hawk on QVC in the 80's or 90's, I remember my Mom buying all kinds of shit off there, needless to say my Dad was never amused. It would be just like a Ralph to make some mass market telesales dogshit a prided family heirloom.