The shitty advice thread

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My neice has a serious drug problem and goes into rehab tommorow. How do I make sure she won’t stop selling me cocaine without coming off as insensitive?
 
Testaclese Maximus said:
How do you think I’ve been raising the capital up to now?
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Just rip off a lifetime supply of cocaine from a Mexican cartel, then. It’s not like you’ll need your family alive anymore once you are hiding in Venezuela, having nose candy for every meal of the day.
 
Midlife Sperglord said:
Just rip off a lifetime supply of cocaine from a Mexican cartel, then. It’s not like you’ll need your family alive anymore once you are hiding in Venezuela, having nose candy for every meal of the day.
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Nah my family hooks me up with other good shit.
 
How do I restrain myself from strangling people with high pitched voices who talk loudly?
 
Eryngium said:
How do I restrain myself from strangling people with high pitched voices who talk loudly?
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Easy, destroy your eardrums and it'll never be a problem again. As a bonus, you'll be immune to mouth breathers and people that chew like they were raised by pigs in a barn.
 
I'm conflicted on whether traps are gay or not. I need some sort of middle ground.
 
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