The Sickening II - Electric Boo-Hoo-Galoo

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He's currently in some fancy hotel with Khet, spending his 'paypigs' money, but will miraculously survive his near death cold experience and be back Saturday.
 
Fallgout Boy said:
Oh man, I forgot about that. Phil literally treats streaming like a job he hates. Clocking in, clocking out, and now he's faking being sick to get out of work. His tweets are the equivalent of calling in with a fake raspy voice going "oh wow dood, I can't come in today, alright? I'm really sick, nothing I could do".

Why anyone would believe a word this man says is beyond me. "I'm going to be very honest with you about why I lied" should be his catchphrase.

I don't know why he's making such a big deal about it, anyway. He could stream with his mic muted and I don't think it would have any effect on his stream.



No, he needs some Cup Noodles for his sore throat, but he doesn't have the 30 minutes it takes him to make them.
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All off the Cup Noodles spoons were dirty in the dishwasher so he could not eat them dood.
 
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Slander Man said:
How many times has he said he can't pay his bills yet has never had ANYTHING cut off for late payment?
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You have to be a serious deadbeat to get your utilities cut off, and I think Phil's skating juuuust above the cutoff to qualify as such.
The time he "lost" money by accidentally overpaying a utility bill shows that he most likely maintains a large unpaid balance with them.
 
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"Gawd I have the sniffles and after that I have my scheduled time off THERE'S NOTHING I CAN DO it's not like I'm literally my own boss and I could just tell my fanbase that 'hey I'll take the days off now to get better and after that I'll turn those days off into khantent because I respect my paypiggies so vewy vewy much'

That would be silly. Huh huh! Stoopid. SNORT"

It really is an artform how Dave manages to piss you off in the same way that a baby screaming on the bus shouldn't bother you because it's not your problem but the bastard still really gets on your tits so much so that you just wanna shake it and shake it shake it.
 
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ProdigalDuke said:
Does someone with more autism and free time than me wanna check through his tweets to see the dates he's taken off sick over the past couple years? Him deciding to take this "anniversary" off got my reckless speculation cogs turning - we know he's used it as an excuse to fly out his horse, I'm wondering if he regularly has time off when his pay check comes in. Would hint towards him having a mini holiday whenever he gets paid.
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Have at:

That did bring up this tweeted gem from 5 years back: "Why are you wearing gloves while handling raw meat??? BE A MAN!" Yes, a man who gets sick shits/vomits his way to the hospital. So smart!

Because as we all know, if you touch raw meat with your bare hands, you immediately get sick. Which is why literally no kitchen chef uses gloves to handle raw meat...
 
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Let me save you all some time:

DSP - "You guys are so stupid. I need my scheduled day off to run errands, you fucking idiots! I can't run errands when I'm sick, okay? SNORT. Also, there's no way for me to ask Kat to ever run errands on the way home from work or before she goes to work. She obviously busy with the Jim, guys, okay? It's not like she can work 8 hours, sleep for 8 hours, and then have 8 hours free to just run errands or go to the store, okay. You morons! I have to personally take an entire day off of work to run errands myself! And it takes me so long to run errands that I don't have time to even do a chill night stream that day! You wouldn't expect other people to work 7 days a week, do you? They get weekends off; I don't! I can't take a weekend off because I'd lose too much money, you fucking idiots! You guys really don't think, do you?"
 
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Salubrious said:
Let me save you all some time:

DSP - "You guys are so stupid. I need my scheduled day off to run errands, you fucking idiots! I can't run errands when I'm sick, okay?
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Seriously though, what are errands for him? I have way more going on in my life than him and skipping errand day until the following week isn't a huge deal outside of my weekly grocery shopping and I've been grocery shopping by myself when sick.
He doesn't have kids, he doesn't have friends and his parents are on the other side of the planet, what responsibilities does he have that he needs a full errand day for?
 
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JackDavis said:
Seriously though, what are errands for him? I have way more going on in my life than him and skipping errand day until the following week isn't a huge deal outside of my weekly grocery shopping and I've been grocery shopping by myself when sick.
He doesn't have kids, he doesn't have friends and his parents are on the other side of the planet, what responsibilities does he have that he needs a full errand day for?
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His weekly errands are grocery shopping and waddling around the mall with Khet for his weekly "more strenuous exercise" (his words). And getting a haircut once a month, maybe.

That's it. Everything else he's obligated to do is paying his bills and shit like cooking and cleaning that he has Khet do.
 
He might actually be sick, but the way he gets sick at the same time every year, explains in advance exactly how long he's going to be sick, and has the tweets explaining it set up on cue ready to go...I mean, if he's not trying to take a staycation while still crying poor, all the facts point that way. Plus it would be typical Phil behavior---poorly hidden shady antics.
 
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KingjadVCMP said:
Tempted to bet money with someone DSP is not streaming this time next year due to some unforeseen reasoning.

Any takers?
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It must suck getting a cold in the middle of Spring every year, and knowing it's going to happen every year, like clockwork. Maybe he should switch up to some generic cough drops like everyone else, because his posh lozenges clearly aren't doing work.
 
BallBuster said:
Excruciating throat pain. Temporary narcolepsy. These 2 symptoms alone are enough to warrant a trip to the doctor and/or hospital for any rational human. Oh, I forgot. He’s a liar.
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Guys my left arm is tingling and my chest has incredible pain. *Oh bentboxer just tipped me $5 and said Hey Phil!* Wow, my body feels better now.
 
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(https://twitter.com/TheyCallMeDSP/status/1129052747381190656 - http://archive.is/LXXIB)
 
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Sparkletor said:
Phil is barely able to stay conscious as this virus wreaks havoc on his immune system. It's so hard to stay awake that he didn't get a lick of sleep. If you think those statements contradict each other, you are not a doctor, idiot.
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I love this post just even off those three sentences. Holy fuck; I feel stupid not putting the two together a lot sooner.
 
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