The Square Hut - Ukrainian mashup of Bumfights, IP2 and Fishtank

[basedman]

That clip channel kind of sucks, lazy ~10 min clips of random shit.

The telegram clip channel https://web.telegram.org/k/#@topnarezki seems to have better short clips. Here are some random ones with subtitles

Spoiler: “Details emerged about which planet Urakhan and Baboon were recruited from. Hasbitchikha came to the market to choose a new slave. A display of unprecedented generosity: instead of yellow soup and navels – watermelon for dinner.” / "Вскрылись подробности с какой планеты завербовали Урахана и Бабуина, Хасбичиха пришла на рынок выбирать нового раба. Аттракцион невиданной щедрости вместо жёлтого супа и пупков арбуз на ужин."

Spoiler: “During the dull-stream era, we recall the epic confrontation between the late Nastya and the runaway Sholtz. Almost Tarantino-like dialogues, blood, and deep thoughts about smotryashchie and opushchennye.” / "В период тухлостримов вспоминаем эпическое противостояние покойной Насти и сбежавшего Шольца. Почти тарантиновские диалоги, кров, и рассуждения о смотрящих и опущенных."

Spoiler: "Slap Battle: Wunton vs Sledgehammer" / "Битва пощёчин Вунтон VS Кувалда"

Spoiler: “Preparation and tasting of the cocktail ‘Thief's Tears’ for Frosya.” / “Заготовка и дегустация коктейля ‘воуровские слёзы’ для Фроси”

Spoiler: "Something a bit like Wunton vs. Sledgehammer" / “Шось трохи Вунтон VS Кувалда”

Spoiler: "Tolik the Grey, down! Or: Evening roleplay with Grandpa." / "Толик Седой лежать!", или вечерние ролевые игры с дедом.

Spoiler: “Yellow soup bubbles in the pot, or Kostyl struggles with learning a poem and gets help from his streaming buddies.” / "В кастрюле булькает жёлтый суп", или сложности с изучением стиха у Костыля и дружеская помощь коллег по стриму."

Spoiler: “Group hugs, or how grandpa's legs gave out after free alcohol.” / “Коллективные обнимашки, или как у деда отказали ноги после бесплатного алкоголя”

Spoiler: “The heart of the baboon beauty 🐒 is prone to betrayal… and change. Iren dumped Kostyl and chose the younger, more promising Krabs, arguing that he treats her better and doesn’t cheat. Or maybe the cunning widow just doesn’t want to bury a second husband?” / "Сердце красавицы Бабуина 🐒 склонно к измене... и перемене, Ирэн бросила Костыля и выбрала более молодого и перспективного Крабса, аргументируя что он лучше относится и не изменяет, а возможно хитрая вдова просто не хочет хоронить второго мужа?"

i (chatgpt) made a shell script to transcribe youtube videos/mp4s with OpenAI's Whisper and burn the subtitles on with ffmpeg. its below in case someone's interested

Spoiler: requirements

bash
python3
pip
ffmpeg
git

script's --setup will install the python dependencies:
torch, torchvision, torchaudio, openai-whisper, yt-dlp, ffmpeg-python

Spoiler: translate_and_burn.sh

#!/bin/bash

set -e

LANGUAGE="ru"
INPUT=""
USE_LANGUAGE=true
MODEL="medium"

# Track timing
declare -A TIMERS

to_minutes_seconds() {
    local duration=$1
    local minutes=$((duration / 60))
    local seconds=$((duration % 60))
    printf "%2dm %02ds" "$minutes" "$seconds"
}

start_timer() {
    TIMERS[$1]=$(date +%s)
}

stop_timer() {
    local name=$1
    local end=$(date +%s)
    local start=${TIMERS[$name]}
    local duration=$((end - start))
    TIMERS[$name]=$duration
    printf "⏱️  %-15s: %s\n" "$name" "$(to_minutes_seconds $duration)"
}

check_tool() {
    command -v "$1" >/dev/null 2>&1 || {
        echo "❌ Missing: $1"
        echo "👉 Please install it manually or run './translate_and_burn.sh --setup'"
        exit 1
    }
}

setup_dependencies() {
    echo "🔧 Setting up Python dependencies..."

    check_tool python3
    check_tool curl
    check_tool ffmpeg

    python3 -m venv venv
    source venv/bin/activate

    pip install --upgrade pip
    pip uninstall -y torch torchvision torchaudio || true
    pip install torch torchvision torchaudio --index-url https://download.pytorch.org/whl/cu118
    pip install git+https://github.com/openai/whisper.git
    pip install yt-dlp ffmpeg-python

    echo "✅ Dependencies installed."
    exit 0
}

download_video() {
    local url="$1"
    echo "📥 Downloading YouTube video..."
    yt-dlp -f bestvideo+bestaudio --merge-output-format mp4 "$url" -o "$VIDEO_OUTPUT"
    if [[ ! -f "$VIDEO_OUTPUT" ]]; then
        echo "❌ Download failed. File not found: $VIDEO_OUTPUT"
        ls -la
        exit 1
    fi
    echo "✅ Saved as: $VIDEO_OUTPUT"
}

run_whisper() {
    echo "🧠 Transcribing and translating using Whisper..."
    start_timer whisper

    if [ "$USE_LANGUAGE" = true ]; then
        whisper --task translate --model "$MODEL" --language "$LANGUAGE" -- "$VIDEO_OUTPUT"
    else
        whisper --task translate --model "$MODEL" -- "$VIDEO_OUTPUT"
    fi

    # Find any generated .srt file matching base name
    SUB_FILE=$(ls "${VIDEO_OUTPUT%.*}"*.srt 2>/dev/null | head -n 1)

    if [ -f "$SUB_FILE" ]; then
        mv "$SUB_FILE" "$SUBTITLE_OUTPUT"
        echo "✅ Subtitles saved as $SUBTITLE_OUTPUT"
    else
        echo "❌ Subtitle file not found. Whisper may have failed."
        exit 1
    fi

    stop_timer whisper
}

burn_subtitles() {
    echo "🔥 Burning subtitles into video using CUDA (h264_nvenc)..."
    start_timer burn

    ffmpeg -y -hwaccel cuda -i "$VIDEO_OUTPUT" -vf "subtitles=$SUBTITLE_OUTPUT" -c:v h264_nvenc -c:a copy "translated_${VIDEO_OUTPUT}"

    echo "✅ Output: translated_${VIDEO_OUTPUT}"
    stop_timer burn
}

# === Entry Point ===
if [[ "$1" == "--setup" ]]; then
    setup_dependencies
fi

# Parse arguments
for arg in "$@"; do
    case $arg in
        --lang=*)
            LANGUAGE="${arg#*=}"
            USE_LANGUAGE=true
            ;;
        http*)
            INPUT="$arg"
            ;;
        *.mp4)
            INPUT="$arg"
            ;;
    esac
done

if [[ -z "$INPUT" ]]; then
    echo "❌ Usage: $0 <YouTube URL or .mp4 file>"
    exit 1
fi

YOUTUBE_ID=$(echo "$INPUT" | grep -oE 'v=([a-zA-Z0-9_-]+)' | cut -d= -f2)
BASE_NAME="${YOUTUBE_ID:-$(basename "$INPUT" .mp4)}"
VIDEO_OUTPUT="${BASE_NAME}.mp4"
SUBTITLE_OUTPUT="${BASE_NAME}.srt"

check_tool yt-dlp
check_tool whisper
check_tool ffmpeg

# Download or copy
if [[ "$INPUT" == http* ]]; then
    download_video "$INPUT"
else
    if [[ "$INPUT" != "$VIDEO_OUTPUT" ]]; then
        cp "$INPUT" "$VIDEO_OUTPUT"
        echo "✅ Copied local file to $VIDEO_OUTPUT"
    else
        echo "ℹ️  Input file already matches expected name: $VIDEO_OUTPUT"
    fi
fi

start_timer total
run_whisper
burn_subtitles
stop_timer total

echo "============================="
echo "🎬 Done. Summary of durations:"
stop_timer whisper
stop_timer burn
stop_timer total