https://www.rnz.co.nz/life/screens/...ploring-incels-and-andrew-tate-style-misogyny
This is the question at the centre of Adolescence, the gripping new Netflix crime drama.
In four episodes, each told through one continuous shot, the ramifications of 13-year-old Jamie's arrest is played out in spectacular style.
First-time actor Owen Cooper, who was just 14 at the time of his performance, compellingly leads in a series that takes toxic masculinity, loneliness and the gender divide to its extreme.
Adolescence explores the dark ideas influencing vulnerable young men online.
Related stories:
"Where does he go? What happens to [someone] craving affection and validation, [who] is so isolated?"
Spoilers for Adolescence ahead.
"[Teens today] have grown up through cancel culture, through the pandemic, and then now they're in this time of polarity where there's the 'woke left' and the 'extreme right'," Jack says.
It can leave teens scared of being "cancelled" or of saying the wrong thing.
"We're seeing boys retreat online, [where they] have all the freedom in the world … to push the boundaries, [to] outdo each other and shock each other."
And it's in the online world where the 'manosphere', an umbrella term for overlapping misogynistic communities, runs rampant.
One idea presented by the manosphere is the 80-20 rule, a myth one teen in Adolescence presents as fact, explaining "80 per cent of women are attracted to 20 per cent of men. You must trick them, because you'll never get them in a normal way".
A teenage boy believing he needs to hoodwink girls into sex is not new.
Films like Superbad (2007) and American Pie (1999) focus on young men so desperate to lose their virginity they'll do absolutely anything to make it happen.
But Jack says today's young people are bombarded with these messages on their phones and laptops 24 hours a day — and we're yet to see the full impact.
Jack says manosphere influencers sell young men "a quick fix" to complexities like forming healthy relationships.
Netflix
Initial effects are already playing out in schools, with Mr Jack hearing of "boys trying to embarrass" their female teachers, which is reflected in Adolescence too.
Jamie negs his female psychologist with mimicry, backhanded compliments and degrading name-calling in an attempt to gain control and power over her.
"You can see how he's using whatever he's been taught [online] to try to control the situation," Jack says.
We learn that Katie, who Jamie is accused of stabbing, began a cyberbullying campaign against him, branding him an 'incel'.
An incel is an involuntary celibate — a community of men frustrated by their lack of success with women. They blame women for this perceived failure.
Online misogyny impacts girls and women in schools in real life and in the show.
Netflix
In the show, the term "incel" is used as an insult and a joke, and it's a term Jamie consistently rejects.
Jack says in his workshops with young people, teenage boys also tend to be evasive about the beliefs they hold towards women.
Tomorrow Man's partner organisation, Tomorrow Woman, runs workshops with girls, with the genders initially separated before being brought together for later discussion.
"The girls will talk about the boys a lot and how they're impacted by them … [whereas] we have to be strategic and encourage [the boys]."
There are other things the show gets right, Jack says.
In Adolescence, Jamie is bewildered at the idea of men having platonic friendships with women, and boys and girls at his school are split into 'us' and 'them'.
From Jack's observations, "Girls are fired up, like they should be … and for boys, they feel under attack. They get defensive … there's a real divide."
He says bringing girls and boys together for open discussions about their experiences with gender stereotypes can be "really powerful".
His advice to parents and carers is to download and become familiar with the apps and sites teens are on, so they feel a little less "foreign [and] scary", and he suggests checking out the federal government's algorithm of disrespect resource.
If rules are put in place about no phones in bedrooms or after lights-out, he'd recommend leading by example, and following these same boundaries.
He suggests being curious rather than reactive — making a huge deal out of something may simply cause defensiveness, and could stop teens from coming to an adult again.
"If [your child] says something toxic or that he's heard from the manosphere, rather than biting his head off, go: 'Wow, that's a pretty interesting thing to say. What do you mean by that?'"
While Jack wouldn't necessarily recommend teens watching Adolescence as a life-lesson, it could lead to positive discussions at home.
He recommends parents approach it with a comment along the lines of, "Hey, I heard about this show. I'd love to watch it and discuss it with you and hear your thoughts."
This is the question at the centre of Adolescence, the gripping new Netflix crime drama.
In four episodes, each told through one continuous shot, the ramifications of 13-year-old Jamie's arrest is played out in spectacular style.
First-time actor Owen Cooper, who was just 14 at the time of his performance, compellingly leads in a series that takes toxic masculinity, loneliness and the gender divide to its extreme.
Adolescence explores the dark ideas influencing vulnerable young men online.
Related stories:
- Preparing our kids for the wild world of the internet
- Why modern boyhood is a lonely place
- Talking to your sons about Andrew Tate and the 'manosphere'
"Where does he go? What happens to [someone] craving affection and validation, [who] is so isolated?"
Spoilers for Adolescence ahead.
From high-value males to the 80-20 rule
In Adolescence, Jamie attempts to balance the traditional gender expectations of his father's generation with the modern messaging presented to him online."[Teens today] have grown up through cancel culture, through the pandemic, and then now they're in this time of polarity where there's the 'woke left' and the 'extreme right'," Jack says.
It can leave teens scared of being "cancelled" or of saying the wrong thing.
"We're seeing boys retreat online, [where they] have all the freedom in the world … to push the boundaries, [to] outdo each other and shock each other."
And it's in the online world where the 'manosphere', an umbrella term for overlapping misogynistic communities, runs rampant.
One idea presented by the manosphere is the 80-20 rule, a myth one teen in Adolescence presents as fact, explaining "80 per cent of women are attracted to 20 per cent of men. You must trick them, because you'll never get them in a normal way".
A teenage boy believing he needs to hoodwink girls into sex is not new.
Films like Superbad (2007) and American Pie (1999) focus on young men so desperate to lose their virginity they'll do absolutely anything to make it happen.
But Jack says today's young people are bombarded with these messages on their phones and laptops 24 hours a day — and we're yet to see the full impact.
Jack says manosphere influencers sell young men "a quick fix" to complexities like forming healthy relationships.
Netflix
Initial effects are already playing out in schools, with Mr Jack hearing of "boys trying to embarrass" their female teachers, which is reflected in Adolescence too.
Jamie negs his female psychologist with mimicry, backhanded compliments and degrading name-calling in an attempt to gain control and power over her.
"You can see how he's using whatever he's been taught [online] to try to control the situation," Jack says.
Girls, boys and incels
Key to the tension in Adolescence is the increasing polarisation between genders.We learn that Katie, who Jamie is accused of stabbing, began a cyberbullying campaign against him, branding him an 'incel'.
An incel is an involuntary celibate — a community of men frustrated by their lack of success with women. They blame women for this perceived failure.
Online misogyny impacts girls and women in schools in real life and in the show.
Netflix
In the show, the term "incel" is used as an insult and a joke, and it's a term Jamie consistently rejects.
Jack says in his workshops with young people, teenage boys also tend to be evasive about the beliefs they hold towards women.
Tomorrow Man's partner organisation, Tomorrow Woman, runs workshops with girls, with the genders initially separated before being brought together for later discussion.
"The girls will talk about the boys a lot and how they're impacted by them … [whereas] we have to be strategic and encourage [the boys]."
There are other things the show gets right, Jack says.
In Adolescence, Jamie is bewildered at the idea of men having platonic friendships with women, and boys and girls at his school are split into 'us' and 'them'.
From Jack's observations, "Girls are fired up, like they should be … and for boys, they feel under attack. They get defensive … there's a real divide."
He says bringing girls and boys together for open discussions about their experiences with gender stereotypes can be "really powerful".
The role of parents in the manosphere
Jack says Adolescence carries a powerful lesson in the importance of prioritising your relationship with your teenager.His advice to parents and carers is to download and become familiar with the apps and sites teens are on, so they feel a little less "foreign [and] scary", and he suggests checking out the federal government's algorithm of disrespect resource.
If rules are put in place about no phones in bedrooms or after lights-out, he'd recommend leading by example, and following these same boundaries.
He suggests being curious rather than reactive — making a huge deal out of something may simply cause defensiveness, and could stop teens from coming to an adult again.
"If [your child] says something toxic or that he's heard from the manosphere, rather than biting his head off, go: 'Wow, that's a pretty interesting thing to say. What do you mean by that?'"
While Jack wouldn't necessarily recommend teens watching Adolescence as a life-lesson, it could lead to positive discussions at home.
He recommends parents approach it with a comment along the lines of, "Hey, I heard about this show. I'd love to watch it and discuss it with you and hear your thoughts."
