The Unofficial Kiwi Poorfag Resource Thread - share recipes and resources for your area (both government and personal) here

[Aunt Carol]

Pump dispenser tops are a tool of the devil to make you waste product.

When you use up a bottle of anything that has a screw-top cap, save it. (You want caps that either pop up and make a spout, or the top flips up to dispense.) Then when you start using something with a pump, the first time just unscrew it, replace the pump lid with the normal lid, and use the product off of the pump tube before you discard the pump mechanism.

This sounds super autistic, but it's only middling: my usual hand lotion always comes in the same bottle, so I just keep washing and reusing a screw-on bottle cap that originally came from some shampoo.

When the lotion is about 1/3 left, I start storing it upside-down. This removes any need to mess around with cutting my lotion bottle open at the end, but that will always vary based on viscosity and bottle shape.

 

[bliblblblbbllb]

Amazon may or may not be the devil, but their protein granola bars are 3 dollars for 5 bars in my area, and carnation high protein breakfast essential shakes are 24 cartons for 25 dollars, which is absolutely bonkers for a protein drink with 220kcal and 15g protein.

For reference, to get a 24 pack of vanilla Ensure, which is still 220kcal but only 9g protein, it's 40 dollars.

If you or loved one have issues with weight or feeding, you probably use some supplement shakes like these. And I just have not seen a deal better than this anywhere.

I dunno how to get a clean Amazon link, but the name of the exact listing is "Carnation Breakfast Essentials High Protein Ready-to-Drink, Classic French Vanilla, 8 FL OZ Carton (Pack of 24)"

 

[grump]

Most poverty recipes I see are for people who don't have a lot of money but have time. But what if you don't have money and don't have or are too lazy to spend much time or effort cooking?

Chicken is pretty idiot proof.

Many stores sell rotisserie chicken at a loss. And then regularly discount them even more when they are about to be thrown out. One of the few ways you can reliably and extremely easily come out the better on a deal with these megacorporations.

But this is just if you are extremely lazy. Almost as simple and even cheaper is just to buy packs of raw chicken. Almost no prep is needed. Just take them straight out of the package. Put them on a cookie sheet. Drizzle some bbq sauce and place them on the oven. BAM. You end up with chicken thats better than most restaurants not to mention the rotisserie stuff.

 

[AnOminous]

Many stores sell rotisserie chicken at a loss. And then regularly discount them even more when they are about to be thrown out. One of the few ways you can reliably and extremely easily come out the better on a deal with these megacorporations.

You can also use that chicken to make any other chicken dish like chicken and dumplings, then also use the bones to make stock.

 

[Sonalee Rashitwar]

Just about to pay the last quarter payment for my local CSA/farm share. Always a pinch to do in the spring before it starts, but for $645 a year I get 80-90% of my produce from June through mid October, plus four boxes of late season stuff through to December. Works out to $25/week or so.

Some in different areas, depending on the philosophy of the farm group and how wealthy and charitable people are, also offer a pay what you can option.

But the big thing is, if you can get it together and pay ahead, then you’ve basically guaranteed yourself weekly fresh food no matter what is going on in your finances or life.

Related: in some blue states or health conscious areas, some EBT programs do a “double your money” promo with farmer’s markets. Basically, there is a kiosk where anyone can exchange some credit or EBT for tokens, so the tokens don’t scream “I’m poor!” (It helps the farmers because it means using cash or tokens instead of having to plan for card readers and fees for each stand). Anyway, if you’re using benefits, the government wants to encourage eating locally and well, so you get two $1 tokens for every dollar of benefit when it’s normally 1/1. These kiosks also have flyers with what is sold at the moment and how to use it, which anyone can take. I think it’s good for destigmatizing needing or using help while encouraging people to change bad dietary habits.

 

[56 others]

If your family likes to give giftcards for birthdays/holidays:
1: make sure they dont have an expiration or monthly fee
2: If you can afford gas or groceries or whatever when you get the card, save that shit for when you cant.

Saved my ass many times

 

[TismFarmer]

Pump dispenser tops are a tool of the devil to make you waste product.

When you use up a bottle of anything that has a screw-top cap, save it. (You want caps that either pop up and make a spout, or the top flips up to dispense.) Then when you start using something with a pump, the first time just unscrew it, replace the pump lid with the normal lid, and use the product off of the pump tube before you discard the pump mechanism.

This sounds super autistic, but it's only middling: my usual hand lotion always comes in the same bottle, so I just keep washing and reusing a screw-on bottle cap that originally came from some shampoo.

When the lotion is about 1/3 left, I start storing it upside-down. This removes any need to mess around with cutting my lotion bottle open at the end, but that will always vary based on viscosity and bottle shape.

If you do use the pump top, make sure to wind a rubber band around the shaft so the pump dispenses less product. I do this with kids and also water down my cheap dishwashing liquid as they use too much anyway and it works just as well watered down half and half.

 

[JanuaryViolet]

Tubes. When they're 'empty', they still have usable product inside. Even if you use a tube-squeezer gadget, cut off the flat end of the tube when empty and you'll find more stuff (keep the cap on). When you've scraped out what you need, fold the tube over and use a binder clip to keep it closed. You can keep cutting off sections of the tube until you can reach the part near the cap and there will be plenty of product there. Great for expensive hair treatment stuff or to make your toothpaste last until your next check.

edited to make more sense

 

[Robotic Kiwi]

Super Easy Homemade Cheesy Spaghetti O's
Dropped this in the "The Event Horizon - Meta discussion for the Balldoverse Collapse" thread, but this recipe I found could be put to better use here. Its a One-Pot recipe, and Anellini pasta can be substituted for another smaller pasta. Adding a bit of meat, like pancetta, was suggested, and I agree adding some meat would improve the protein content and flavor of the meal. It seems like a pretty good meal for those who want to cook for themselves, with pretty cheap ingredients. You can always get some of the ingredients from a garden, which can help save costs.

Spoiler: Recipe if link is broken

INGREDIENTS:

2 tablespoons salted butter

2 tablespoons extra virgin olive oil

3 cloves garlic, chopped

1 tablespoon chopped fresh oregano

chili flakes

⅓ cup tomato paste

2 cups Anellini or other small pasta

kosher salt and black pepper

1 teaspoon onion powder

½ teaspoon paprika

1 cup grated parmesan cheese

½ cup grated pecorino cheese

½ cup fresh basil

Directions:

1. Melt together the butter, olive oil, garlic, oregano, and chili flakes in a large pot over medium heat. Cook until the butter turns golden, about 5 minutes.

2. Reduce the heat to low, stir in the tomato paste. Cook 1-2 minutes, then pour over 3 cups of water. Bring to a boil over high heat. Add the pasta, onion powder, paprika, and season with salt and pepper. Cook, stirring often, until the pasta is al dente, about 12 minutes.

3. Stir in the parmesan, pecorino, and basil until the cheese is melted.

4. Serve immediately topped with fresh basil. Eat!

 

[Yandex Captcha Solver]

If you smoke cigarettes, start rolling your own. For a long while I was smoking the cheap little cigars for about a buck fifty a pack. They sucked, had to rip off the filter, and it was an overall shitty experience compared to regular cigarettes. Switched to RYO recently after a decade or so of doing it before, big improvement in smoke quality at about 75 cents a pack.

I initially bought a shitty injector (don't do that unless you want to suffer and get shit quality). Buy a Top-O-Matic manual cigarette machine secondhand for $30 for something that will last a long while for a decent smoke. Or pony up $200 for a new Powermatic III+ or about half that used. I can roll a carton in less than a hour including prep with the Powermatic III+ with perfect consistency. When I got it used I tore off the cover and did some cleaning, I was amazed by the quality of the build and the engineering. It was very clean for 25k cigarettes on the counter. I always enjoy things that are built well and this piece of machinery is up there, especially for being made in the current year.

You'll have to try out different tobaccos and tubes that work for you. A pound of tobacco will make 2.5-3 cartons of cigarettes. If you smoke regular name brand cigarettes though, you'll have paid off your investment in 2 to 4 cartons while splurging on a fancy automatic machine.

Or just quit smoking that is always the cheapest option.

 

[MAAAD]

Personal pro-tip to every poorfag and bad cook: have a generic condiment with a strong flavor in your fridge at all times (sour cream, mayonnaise, etc), these can save even your worst culinary experiments and burnt/dry/overcooked meals. My personal favourite is ketchup.
Elaborating on cheap meat cuts: it's easy to save money this way if you have some veggies at your disposal. Simply boil the meat in a pot with a few cut veggies and herbs for a simple and decent soup to last you for a week.

 

[Diet Coke 4 Life]

To add to the above, if you settle on a condiment of choice to fix your kitchen disasters... make certain it's an easy one to acquire.

Live near a bunch of burger joints? Ketchup and mustard packets are easily attained. Go into McD's to use the free WiFi, wander out with some ketchup.

Personally, I'd go with Taco Bell for their fire sauce. There's one nearby that'll actually accommodate if you ask for enough fire sauce to choke out an elephant. It took almost a full month to go through the giant bag they gave me.

 

[56 others]

This is more of an observation but I think it can help others. I go into peoples' homes for a living. I've been to a lot of big, rich houses, and the one thing I can say is they are pretty barren. Upper-middle class and above people dont have a lot of stuff. Middle class and below people have a lot of stuff, crammed into every corner, and it's usually just shit.

Its not just that the houses are bigger, the quantity of items the wealthy have is just less. And they drive normal, 10 year old cars.

I think about that sometimes when Im considering buying some knickknack or highly specific cooking tool. Helps me keep money in my wallet.

 

[NoReturn]

This is more of an observation but I think it can help others. I go into peoples' homes for a living. I've been to a lot of big, rich houses, and the one thing I can say is they are pretty barren. Upper-middle class and above people dont have a lot of stuff. Middle class and below people have a lot of stuff, crammed into every corner, and it's usually just shit.

Its not just that the houses are bigger, the quantity of items the wealthy have is just less. And they drive normal, 10 year old cars.

I think about that sometimes when Im considering buying some knickknack or highly specific cooking tool. Helps me keep money in my wallet.

Wealthy people also don't need to keep duplicates or "parts" like poor people do.
If something breaks in a rich guy's house, he hires a handyman to fix it. If something gets messy, they call a cleaner. They don't need to keep maintenance things around.

 

[TETRABAX]

I bought this that I've been munching on. 25lbs of high protein nuts for $55 is high value as fuck.

Wildlife Elements Peanut Party in-Shell Peanuts for Birds, Squirrels, Wild Animal Food, 25 Pound Bag https://a.co/d/hiaHJWc

 

[56 others]

Wealthy people also don't need to keep duplicates or "parts" like poor people do.
If something breaks in a rich guy's house, he hires a handyman to fix it. If something gets messy, they call a cleaner. They don't need to keep maintenance things around.

But thats not what theyre doing. Im the guy being hired by the middle and lower class to fix their stuff. I would get if it was tools or car parts or somesuch, but its just a bunch of crap. Im no different, Im throwing all this junk out in preparation for a move, all this stuff I paid money for that has no value.

Use excel or whatever spreadsheet software you can to plot out your monthly spending and it will really open your eyes to where you are getting fucked. Just knowing that goes a long way to fixing your finances and pinching pennies.

It's extremely easy to nickel and dime yourself into living paycheck to paycheck.

 

[Dysnomia]

Most poverty recipes I see are for people who don't have a lot of money but have time. But what if you don't have money and don't have or are too lazy to spend much time or effort cooking?

Chicken is pretty idiot proof.

Many stores sell rotisserie chicken at a loss. And then regularly discount them even more when they are about to be thrown out. One of the few ways you can reliably and extremely easily come out the better on a deal with these megacorporations.

But this is just if you are extremely lazy. Almost as simple and even cheaper is just to buy packs of raw chicken. Almost no prep is needed. Just take them straight out of the package. Put them on a cookie sheet. Drizzle some bbq sauce and place them on the oven. BAM. You end up with chicken thats better than most restaurants not to mention the rotisserie stuff.

Sometimes Giant has two for $5 chicken that didn't sell. I always look at the discount section. Discount baked goods are great. Acme has stuff for $1.99 that's usually $5-$7 just because it's best by date is looming. Acme and Safeway are owned by the same company so they probably have similar sales.

 

[Coffee Druid]

Not sure if it's best here, but I've been using a method for cheap snacks when I want something crunchy. My local grocery store sells these jars of generic brand crackers that look like round mini ritz ones. They're $1 each at 8 ounces/240 grams. I literally just mix a jar with 1/4 cup neutral oil (or butter if I'm feeling fancy) and however much seasoning I want. Then bake spread out on a sheet at 250 F for 30 minutes or so. I can make them sweet with cinnamon sugar, savory with ranch, cheddar popcorn seasoning, BBQ spices, etc. It ends up being about $2-$2.50 a jar for me, and each one is 8 servings (so like 30 cents a serving). The variety is endless since the crackers don't have much flavor on their own. I bet I could teach myself how to make crackers from scratch and make it cheaper, but it would take a ton of time.

I'm also enjoying seasonal fruit/veg. I'm a list person and I have a spreadsheet of all the fruits, vegetables, and meat cuts I might potentially buy. I put the lowest regular prices I see and the date, as well as lowest sale price. Some things at my local store go on sale for like 1/3 the price (like blackberries for $1 a pack). If I want to I can also buy some extra to freeze. I only started it at the beginning of this year, so I might see how prices inflate over time too...

I get most of my food from the grocery store. I'm baffled when people complain about how grocery store are more expensive than fast food. I'm sure it might be different in other places, but I physically could not afford to live off fast food and takeout daily. I usually only get takeout when I have a hangout with friends, but when I do a decent fast food order is at least $10, and a restaurant $16-$25 a meal. I went to a trendy new fast food joint recently and an order of fried fish and chips, and a medium shake was 20 F-ing bucks. For $10-$12 I could make a modest but filling meal for at least 4 people. It's also just healthier depending on what I cook.

 

[Aunt Carol]

I'm baffled when people complain about how grocery store are more expensive than fast food.

They're lying because they want to make you feel bad for the poors so you'll do what you want, or because they themselves want to eat a drive-through hamburger. If you start helpfully penciling out the costs, they'll move the goalposts and talk about prep time or "spoons."

 

[PetiteFeet]

cheap snacks when I want something crunchy.

Try roasted chickpeas. I don't know the price on dry or canned chickpeas in the states but they're pretty cheap in my part of the world.

You'll need:
1 can of chickpeas
A tablespoon oil, can be omitted
Seasonings of your choosing.

Open your can of chickpeas, wash them (I personally dislike the taste of the water they come in) and pour your chickpeas out on a flat surface to let them dry. You can use paper towels but it's not necessary, just let the chickpeas dry on their own for 20 minutes. The less moisture there's on the chickpeas the better.
Turn on your oven. I prefer 175c/340something fahrenheit. When your oven is hot and your chickpeas are dry, toss the chickpeas with a bit of oil and pour them onto a pan with some parchment paper underneath.
Roast them for 10 minutes at a time, shaking the pan a bit before giving them another 10 minutes. Typically my chickpeas will be crispy and golden after 40 minutes but you should try tasting them as you go, if you prefer more or less crunch.
Before the last five minutes, I will take out the chickpeas and toss them with a little more oil as well as any seasonings I want on them - it's important you don't put your seasonings on before, if you're using dried herbs they will char and if you're using a lot of seasonings you might need more time in the oven.

Other things you can do - you can peel each individual chickpea. Personally I think that's way too much effort and I'll just dry the chickpeas a bit more before I put them in the oven.
You can use dried chickpeas that you soak yourself. When I did this, I boiled my chickpeas like one normally would after the soaking period because they are legumes and are toxic if eaten raw.
You can also use an airfryer, if you own one. I have an old'ish Tefal ActiFry 2-in-1 that comes with a revolving arm, so I don't need to manually check on the chickpeas and give them a toss every 10 minutes. I find they crisp up a lot more at a faster speed than making the same amount in my oven.

Season them in any way that strikes your fancy. Homemade bbq rub, soy sauce, anything. I find that a dry rub mixture and a bit of oil works wonders when tossed onto the 'peas before the last five minutes of the roast.

Another thing I like to make when in season are pumpkin chips - or any vegetable that strikes your fancy, really.
Thinly sliced either on a mandolin, by hand or your kitchen aid. Spread out evenly in one layer (preferably with a tiny bit of room between) on a parchment-clad baking pan and at some 100c/200f degrees for a couple of hours in your oven and you've got yourself some nice, crispy, crunchy bits of delight.
I've made many different types of pumpkin chips and apple chips. I don't own a dehydrator oven but I imagine it's even easier with one of those babies.
Any vegetable or fruit that has a density a la a hokkaido pumpkin or an apple I imagine crisps up nicely. I've wanted to try making zucchini chips but haven't done so yet, so I'm not sure how well a vegetable with a high water content does or even how long it'd need before it's done.
I always look every ten to fifteen minutes when I'm experimenting but I'm sure someone on the vast Internet has recipes, if one is so inclined.