I didn't want to make a new thread so, for my first post, I will give this a try. Why do people suck? Have you ever found out a friend of about 10 years lies to you on a daily basis? I'll try to share my story as best I can. This is kind of a bromance story. No homo.
Around five years ago I moved in with a friend. We were already friends for 4ish years and hung out pretty regularly. We both never finished college and were still living in the town. We met in a party house setting and even ran one together for about a year while actually in college. After six months of living with him outside the distractions of running a madhouse, I start noticing when he's lying. My bullshit detector is really good when I don't let my brain get in the way. He kept partying more than I did. I didn't care. He started not telling me about what he was doing, who he was seeing, stuff like that. I brushed it off at first. I told myself it was none of my business. I let him do what he wanted like a friend is supposed to.
As 1-2 years go by we both got full time jobs and worked. Every so often I would get home to nobody around. I'd call my roommate/growing best friend. He's busy hanging out with people. He's at a beach about 10 miles away. Says he'll be back in a few hours. No invite. Kind of hurts. Stuff like that starts happening more and more. I suck it up because I'm a dude.
Another 1-2 years go by. We moved to middle of nowhere town. No other friends for miles. Roommate/best friend goes to old college town to mutual friends graduation and didn't tell me until he was gone and I was at work. He said it was spur of the moment. I had my doubts.
I couldn't take it anymore. I tried to confront my roommate. All I could get out was "why don't you tell me anything?" before I started sobbing. He hugged me while I lost control. He said he was sorry and that he would do better. I thought he meant it. Part of me still wants to think he did. He has never really been a bad friend, but all the little lies kept building up in my head. Lies that were excluding me from aspects of my friends life. Maybe I am too selfish, or a bad friend. I'm not going to get into it but neither of us are perfect. I thought we had an understanding that he wasn't going to keep things from me. Then my bullshit detector started going off again.
Every time he gets home late from work he has random ass weird excuses for it. I didn't have any proof of lie so I betrayed his trust. I went snooping in his smart watch. All I was doing was looking for proof of lie. I didn't want to find anything. I did. When he was supposed to get off work he would call this girl every night that he was late. This was actually the second girl he was seeing that he hid from me in the last year. Is it so much to ask to share with your bro when you're getting laid? Why doesn't he trust me after all this time? Yeah I know I snooped. I wouldn't have if I wasn't so good at bullshit detecting.
I am having a really rough time with this. I don't want to end our friendship. I can't keep living with someone that doesn't respect or trust me enough to tell me what is going on in his life. I feel like every friend I have ever had has abandoned me. I'm not perfect, and I know I can be a dick sometimes, but I would prefer my supposed best friend would just tell me the truth. If the truth was that I'm a sperg faggot that's too much to live with, at least I could move on. I don't think I've ever been this sad and it is really fucking with my head.
Thanks for reading if you made it this far. You can commence to calling me a faggot now.
