The "Why didn't Chris like X?" thread

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Re: Why didn't he get into Thomas the Tank Engine?

BlockyStyle said:
Also
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it's crazy to hide such a masterpiece behind a spoiler tag! I fucking love this! Especially the tugboat in the background :D

And yeah I remember "paddingthomas the tank bear" :lol: from the "what if Chris were British?" thread. He'd be raging against those DAMN DIRTY CHAVS instead also.
 
Although it is kinda off-topic, but mine isn't "Why didn't Chris like x". More of a "Why did Chris is okay with X".

In the crazy brony fandom, there are usually arguments about Twilight Sparkle being a alicorn and the new show "Equestria Girls".

What I'm surprised is that Chris complained about how "SEGA's mascot will be changed" (which is false) but never complained about the new MLP features. Chris actually did mention about Twilight being an alicorn but never complained about it. I wonder why he feels kinda okay with these new features.

Correct me if I miss anything.
 
Alan Pardew said:
Although it is kinda off-topic, but mine isn't "Why didn't Chris like x". More of a "Why did Chris is okay with X".

In the crazy brony fandom, there are usually arguments about Twilight Sparkle being a alicorn and the new show "Equestria Girls".

What I'm surprised is that Chris complained about how "SEGA's mascot will be changed" (which is false) but never complained about the new MLP features. Chris actually did mention about Twilight being an alicorn but never complained about it. I wonder why he feels kinda okay with these new features.

Correct me if I miss anything.
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Well, that's different. SEGA was "going to replace Sonic," while Twilight Sparkle was just slightly changed. Why he's not freaking out at this, like with the whole Cleveland show thing, is beyond me. If Hasbro just got rid of Twilight, then he'd probably lose his shit ( :briefs: joke not intended).
 
spaps said:
Alan Pardew said:
Although it is kinda off-topic, but mine isn't "Why didn't Chris like x". More of a "Why did Chris is okay with X".

In the crazy brony fandom, there are usually arguments about Twilight Sparkle being a alicorn and the new show "Equestria Girls".

What I'm surprised is that Chris complained about how "SEGA's mascot will be changed" (which is false) but never complained about the new MLP features. Chris actually did mention about Twilight being an alicorn but never complained about it. I wonder why he feels kinda okay with these new features.

Correct me if I miss anything.
Click to expand...
Well, that's different. SEGA was "going to replace Sonic," while Twilight Sparkle was just slightly changed. Why he's not freaking out at this, like with the whole Cleveland show thing, is beyond me. If Hasbro just got rid of Twilight, then he'd probably lose his shit ( :briefs: joke not intended).
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I think Chris's intense brand loyalty just dulls him to changes like this, even if they're big arbitrary changes to his favorite things. I've always wondered how Chris felt when Sonic Adventure came out back in the late 90s, and all of the sudden the entire Sonic mythos as presented in North America was changed forever (humans in the Sonic world, Eggman instead of Dr. Robotnik, no more freedom fighters/Mobius, etc.). Judging by his output from that time period, he didn't really give a care.
 
Why didn't Chris like "Camp Candy"?
 
Why didn't Chris like the Nazi party? After all, he's WORSE THAN HITLER.
 
I wonder if Chris liked "The Wizard", the movie (or really long Nintendo commercial) with Fred Savage.
 
I've looked through Chris's list of downloads and classic games, and noticed that he has the original Castlevania trilogy for the NES and Symphony of the Night off the PSN.

Playing Castlevania was a huge part of my childhood. My friends were all wild about it, because it was just scary enough to make us feel mature and the fact that it was HARD AS BALLS kept us playing again and again. The later entries for the Playstation and the GBA/DS (aka the "Metroidvanias") were significantly easier than the original offerings but made up for it by having lots of collectibles and large castle areas. Aria of Sorrow for the GBA was particularly addictive; it has a "gotta catch 'em all!" aspect in the soul system, where the protagonist can collect powers from defeated monsters.

Chris probably downloaded the Castlevania games he did because he heard that they were classic games and because they were impulse buys. I doubt he's actually played through them very far, which is a pity. He might actually enjoy them.

TLDR; I'm sperging about Castlevania and Chris probably didn't play it because it's not Sonic or Pokemon/not enough bright colors or cartoon characters.
 
This thread deserves a new forum section like the "What if" thread. Just saying.
 
Maybe Chris prefers Chuggington over Thomas? It's a bland retarded ripoff so it should appeal to him.
 
Why doesn't Chris like Asian girls?

STRAIGHT adult autistic man speaking, in my opinion they're aesthetically far cuter/hotter/less flawed/generally more attractive than white women which more than makes up for lack of boobs, ass and height (which is probably what Chris cares mostly about). That and the fact that they tend to have much higher IQs and incomes and usually don't become alcoholic or addicted to the tobacky would place almost any young Asian woman within Chris' Sweetheart quota were it not for the whites-only criterion, though they themselves usually have extremely high standards (that Chris might meet when hell freezes over) and are a rare breed in most rural areas anyway.
 
Well, it seems like the only girls he doesn't want are black.

BUT, Marvin has stated in the past that there's big difference in what Chris says, and what he actually does. So I wonder if he'd get a black girlfriend if the chance ever came. (a very big "if" I know)
 
bungholio said:
Well, it seems like the only girls he doesn't want are black.

BUT, Marvin has stated in the past that there's big difference in what Chris says, and what he actually does. So I wonder if he'd get a black girlfriend if the chance ever came. (a very big "if" I know)
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Weren't the two black girls at PVCC who reported him for racism the only ones who even responded to the attraction sign (in a positive way)? To be honest I could see Chris being attracted to a few extremely attractive black women, and those girls that Chris turned down were probably super ugly ghetto Sheneequas who were just as desperate for the dick as Chris is for china.
 
Does Chris Watch Seinfeld?

[youtube]gZJ8Jxt9qrM[/youtube]
 
I think I read somewhere that Chris didn't like furries (even though Sonic/Sonichu is technically one). Why is that?
 
bungholio said:
Well, it seems like the only girls he doesn't want are black.

BUT, Marvin has stated in the past that there's big difference in what Chris says, and what he actually does. So I wonder if he'd get a black girlfriend if the chance ever came. (a very big "if" I know)
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That's a tricky question, and I'm not sure he would. I think he might hesitate, tops. Or, well, maybe it if happened in a decade or two, maybe he'd be desperate enough to say yes.

I think his thinking is that if he encountered black girls, he'd mostly encounter them in a mixed group of people. So he wouldn't feel he's down to his last chance. He could turn down the black girl in front of him, but there are other white girls around.

And I don't know if Chris has ever said anything negative about asian girls, but I can almost guarantee you that he wouldn't turn down an attractive asian girl coming on to him.
 
Marvin said:
bungholio said:
Well, it seems like the only girls he doesn't want are black.

BUT, Marvin has stated in the past that there's big difference in what Chris says, and what he actually does. So I wonder if he'd get a black girlfriend if the chance ever came. (a very big "if" I know)
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That's a tricky question, and I'm not sure he would. I think he might hesitate, tops. Or, well, maybe it if happened in a decade or two, maybe he'd be desperate enough to say yes.

I think his thinking is that if he encountered black girls, he'd mostly encounter them in a mixed group of people. So he wouldn't feel he's down to his last chance. He could turn down the black girl in front of him, but there are other white girls around.

And I don't know if Chris has ever said anything negative about asian girls, but I can almost guarantee you that he wouldn't turn down an attractive asian girl coming on to him.
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Implying that an attractive white girl would even come to him let alone an attractive Asian girl.

And I honestly think that in order for a woman among his own race to be attracted to him, she would either have to be mentally handicapped or an ugly redneck and also be REALLY desperate for a girlfriend-free manchild to build into a fuckbuddy/breadwinner from the ground up.

Miss Slow-In-Da-Mind would automatically be out of the picture due both to his irrational fear of her as a "portal to hell" and the fact that even if they did hook up she can't be his Barb replacement and take care of him, it would be the other way around (see Kevin Havens)

Now if Chris ended up dating the other girl (which he might if he were desperate enough), it would probably fall apart very quickly since they would have almost nothing in common (she's not big on vidya and animu as he isn't on Nascar and tobacky) and she would only be dating him for his "fancy compumatation degree" thinking that he's going to take care of her and save her from her miserable trailer trash life when in fact it's exactly what he would expect of her. Unless of course she got pregnant with Crystal and they ended up having a shotgun wedding complete with the crappy motel honeymoon, Crystal was born several months later, their marriage lasted for a few more years before they ended up divorcing, Mrs. Bumfucklin-Chandler got full custody of Crystal and Chris either an heroed or made a new waifu from Barb and Patti's composite remains.

TL;DR the closest thing to his idea of a Sweeheart that he will ever have
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And the closest he will ever have to his idea of Crystal
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Why doesn't Chris like the Teletubbies? These tardbominations should appeal to him, methinks. Or are they too dumb even for his tastes? Or unknown in the US?
 
Teletubbies are definitely known here in the US. They were especially huge in 1998-ish when they first aired on PBS, but to be honest my perception of their popularity back then may be a bit skewed, as my brother was a toddler at the time and the exact target demographic for the show. But I do remember there being editorials in Time magazine about the Teletubbies, and Burger King did a promotion with Teletubby toys in the kids' meals... (My family ended up going to Burger King enough to collect them all. Didn't help that the Tubby Custard BK sold during the promotion was amazingly delicious.)

Really I've never gotten the impression that Chris ever watched much PBS, if at all.
 
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