The Writing Thread

Decided to finally crack down on the second draft of my novel. Hopefully this draft sucks less.

I swear to god I will get to reading what you sent me eventually. :(

On the subject of working on second drafts, I'm working on my second draft of a story, too. The first draft was 120k words so I guess you could call it a novel. Anyway, it helped a shitton when I was able to sit down and do an outline of all the things I wanted to add and change (and keep). You've finished your first draft so you already have a good bird's eye view of what you want to do. Having an outline makes it even clearer and will help with stuff like foreshadowing and making sure you give your reader all the information they need when they need it.

Second drafts are rough. You have to look at stuff you loved from the first draft and say to yourself, "Well, this is great, but it doesn't really work with the story I want to tell." And then you have to cut it. Or worse, re-write an entire chapter from scratch. That's what I had to do today.

But it's okay! It turned out great and having my outline beside me really helped! I know you can do it too. :D
 
I swear to god I will get to reading what you sent me eventually. :(

On the subject of working on second drafts, I'm working on my second draft of a story, too. The first draft was 120k words so I guess you could call it a novel. Anyway, it helped a shitton when I was able to sit down and do an outline of all the things I wanted to add and change (and keep). You've finished your first draft so you already have a good bird's eye view of what you want to do. Having an outline makes it even clearer and will help with stuff like foreshadowing and making sure you give your reader all the information they need when they need it.

Second drafts are rough. You have to look at stuff you loved from the first draft and say to yourself, "Well, this is great, but it doesn't really work with the story I want to tell." And then you have to cut it. Or worse, re-write an entire chapter from scratch. That's what I had to do today.

But it's okay! It turned out great and having my outline beside me really helped! I know you can do it too. :biggrin:

I am going chapter by chapter and it seems to take longer to edit it than to originally write it lol.
 
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Finally decided to crack down and bust my ass writing a long story, and goodness, it's satisfying! I've been cranking through about 1500-2000 words a night, and I'm aiming for at least NaNoWriMo length. I don't know why I agonized so much before about writing longer stories because once I had a decent idea that I wanted to stick with, actually sitting down and writing it all out wasn't that hard.

Only thing is, er, is it technically fanfiction if it's based on a tabletop game? The setting is pretty much Changeling: the Lost, but the vast majority of the landscaping, characters, and social interactions are completely original. Oh well, I'm enjoying writing it and I have confidence it'll be at least kind of good when I'm finished. Not ready to share it yet though as it's still in its very early stages.
 
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Finally decided to crack down and bust my ass writing a long story, and goodness, it's satisfying! I've been cranking through about 1500-2000 words a night, and I'm aiming for at least NaNoWriMo length. I don't know why I agonized so much before about writing longer stories because once I had a decent idea that I wanted to stick with, actually sitting down and writing it all out wasn't that hard.

Only thing is, er, is it technically fanfiction if it's based on a tabletop game? The setting is pretty much Changeling: the Lost, but the vast majority of the landscaping, characters, and social interactions are completely original. Oh well, I'm enjoying writing it and I have confidence it'll be at least kind of good when I'm finished. Not ready to share it yet though as it's still in its very early stages.

Holy shit, I love you. White Wolf fan in the house.

Hey, as long as you enjoy writing it. I'm of the opinion that fanfiction can help with components of writing (ie: description, dialogue, etc.) but it's to wholly original writing as training wheels are to the Tour de France.


Anyways, I've been writing an interactive fiction game in Twine on and off for the past six months. I find that having at least some level of coding involved really helps break up the inevitable monotony of writing. Plus, I like the idea of having reader/'audience' participation in my works.
 
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A recent glance at the Connor Bible thread made me want to share these first few scenes from one of my own projects:

Azangi climbed onto a mossy mahogany bough which twisted over the treetops. Her lithe black figure, clad with brief strips of bark-cloth, glistened like polished obsidian from the equatorial sunlight. A leopard-skin sash bound an iron spear to her back while a machete rested under the side of her thong. The fangs and claws looped around Azangi's neck showed her triumphs as a Bayombi huntress, but today she hunted not for meat but for the man she loved.

All around her vantage, the Yombi rainforest spread to the horizons like an ocean of bushy greenery, broken only by winding rivers and jutting basalt crags. Eastward the terrain sloped into shallow hills, and atop one of these rose the jagged parapets of a great stone wall. A rampart like this would have girdled Mbanza Ulamba, capital of the Ulamba kingdom. Azangi had traveled many days east from her homeland, but never would she have expected to reach Ulamba near the Yombi's opposite edge!

Her heart pulsed like a talking drum. For all the distance Azangi had covered, her man James Blunt still eluded her. The promise of adventure, always a lure for white men into the continent's jungle-swathed center, must have seduced him further away than he first intended. Either that, or James had landed into some horrible fate from which he would never return.

Azangi clenched her fingers around an ivory charm on one of her necklaces. Under her breath she murmured a prayer to Nzambi Konda, goddess of the hunt, that James still lived.

A wisp of white smoke wavered from the canopy to the southeast. James and his men might have camped over there. Otherwise the smoke could have come from a Ulamba farming village, but even then the peasants might have seen him pass by. Either way Azangi's heart sped up to the tune of the drums.

She dropped from the mahogany branch, diving through the canopy, and seized a dangling liana vine. Henceforth she swung and jumped her way through the jungle's upper tangle of branches and creepers. Whenever she landed on a mossy tree limb, she would surf down it on her feet before darting over to the next one. Azangi savored the cooling breeze that washed past her as she moved.

Her thrill ended when the stench of carrion flooded into her nose. She swung off her last vine to land on her feet on the spongy jungle floor. A flock of Troodon, small feathered scavengers, scurried in the brush from her, and they left behind the body of a man in blood-stained safari clothes.

Though most of his face and arms had been pecked to the bone, the curls of red hair that still clung to his scalp could not have belonged to James Blunt. Instead they, together with the body's thickset physique, recalled James's comrade Dennis MacKenny. Out from his forehead stuck a forked throwing knife in native style.

Azangi shrunk back from the corpse with a knot twisting in her stomach. A couple of paces nearby, collapsed khaki tents encircled the ashy remains of a campfire. More bodies rotted between these, strewn among a mess of spears, throwing knives, and broken guns. Except for a handful of black porters, most of the dead were white men.

But none of them, so far as Azangi could scan, looked like James Blunt. Even after probing inside the tents and the foliage around the campsite, she could not find any trace of her love.

She cried out James's name with tears streaming down her cheeks. Her voice echoed between the trees, but received no response. Somehow he must have escaped while the rest of his safari got massacred. No, James would never desert his men like that. He would sooner take a spear through his own heart than let anyone else suffer the same. But what else could have happened to him?

Azangi tugged a spear off one of the dead bodies. Inscribed into the base of its point was the face of a Tyrannosaurus, the mightiest predator of the Yombi jungles. Many peoples of the Yombi regarded the tyrannosaur as the most regal beast, but the Ulambas went even further and declared it their totemic symbol.

So it must have been the Ulambas, the people whose country Azangi had entered, who slaughtered James's safari. If anyone knew his fate, they would.

With her anger swelling like a brush-fire within, Azangi reached for the nearest overhanging vine and continued eastward for Mbanza Ulamba.

##​

The jungle gave way to a terraced stone platform on which a pair of obelisks stretched for the sky. Each of these basalt pillars had a snarling tyrannosaur face carved from its top, and from their sides descended coils of rope. Fragments of crushed bone littered the red-stained platform between the obelisks. Stories claimed that the Ulambas would bound young men and women to obelisks like these as offerings to a tyrannosaur every full moon, but Azangi had always dismissed these reports as sensationalism to make the Ulambas look barbaric. Upon seeing the obelisks and bones for herself, the blood in her veins flowed cold.

At least none of the bones looked fresh enough to belong to James.

Within sight from the platform reared the city wall of Mbanza Ulamba, and it seemed even more colossal once Azangi approached it. Not even the most enormous Brontosaurus could crane its long neck high enough to peer over the wall's parapet, where tiny Ulamba archers marched in blood-red sarongs. Within an archway going through the wall gleamed a door of polished ebony.

"Who goes there?" one of the Ulambas on the parapet shouted through his ivory horn. "You look like some forest woman come to trade."

"I am Azangi, a Bayombi huntress from the far west," Azangi shouted back. "But I don't seek trade. I seek the man named James Blunt."

"Wait, I may know whom you're talking about. Yesterday our patrol dragged in a white man they caught poaching in the jungle. He should be still stuck in his prison-hut."

"Then I must talk with him. I need to know how in Nzambi Konda's name he got himself trapped in this faraway country."

"First you'll need permission from our King, and he doesn't give that stuff out with much generosity. But if it's really so important to you, then you may enter."

The gates ground open to let Azangi through. Behind them ran a dirt avenue with tyrannosaur sculptures roaring in silence alongside it. The streets shooting off this avenue lead to clusters of mud roundhouses with plaster blazing white from the sun. Every one of these huts must have spread twice as wide as any in Azangi's village of birth, enough to house an entire extended family in one room!

As if the monumental quality of Mbanza Ulamba's architecture did not steal enough of Azangi's breath, there were the people that bustled around her. Gold, copper, and ivory ornaments dazzled on their limbs, necks, and foreheads. The colors splashed on their loincloths equaled this jewelry in vibrancy. Yet for all Azangi marveled at them, the Ulambas did not repay her in kind. They all stepped aside to give her a wide berth and stare at her. They either wrinkled their noses in grimaces or, in the case of young men, leered at her as if she were a hunk of bush-meat.

Back in Azangi's home village, the people always gazed in awe at their finest huntress. The citizens of Mbanza Ulamba may have showered her with attention too, but every drop of it bruised her pride instead.

The city's central avenue ramped up a platform where more huts sat on top. One of these sprawled even wider than the rest in the whole city, almost big enough to shelter a brontosaur's body, or maybe a king and his pride. Before this giant house some older men and women chattered on their stools in a circle, but they stopped their conversation to gawk at Azangi once she neared them.

"May I speak to the King?" she asked once she cleared her throat.

Two of the elders scooted aside to reveal the man seated on the circle's opposite end. Like all the Ulambas, he decorated himself with liberal amounts of jewelry, but his leopard-skin mantle and headdress of multicolored plumage gave him an additional magnificence that suggested kingship. His bulging stomach, smeared with grease, could only have grown so large from eating the finest food that could be found in any kingdom.

With eyes narrowed into slits at Azangi, the crowned man smacked his lips as if hungry. "I would take pleasure from landing my eyes on such an untamed forest beauty, except you barged in here without proper invitation. Who are you who dares interrupt King Mutswe's council?" The boom of his voice blew Azangi back a couple of steps.

"I am dearly sorry, Your Majesty of Ulamba," she said with a bow. "One of your soldiers directed me to your audience. Apparently I need your permission to see a certain white man in your captivity."

Mutswe had taken a swig of palm wine from a gourd, but he spurted it out like a geyser. "You mean that ringleader of trespassing poachers? What could you want with that piss-haired scum?"

"James is no poacher!" Azangi took a deep inhale to relax herself. "Easily led astray, perhaps, but he might not have known he was in your country."

"Are you really so sure? The way I see it, all white men are guilty of poaching and thievery, and that's when they're not blasting away villages with their cannons. Hence my decree that no white man can set foot in Ulamba without my summons!"

"I understand why you may think that, but James is not like other white men. Why, he wouldn't have even left his native Murica had he not objected to his countrymen's greed!"

The King's belly shook like a full water-skin when he laughed. "For a woman of the forest, you are naive like a child. Even white men who pretend to care about black people will leak out their ingrained prejudice sooner or later. They are more venomous than cobras. Why else would your James break into our territory without regard for our law?"

"Like I said, he wouldn't have known it was yours!"

"Then why didn't he ever think to ask our villagers where he was? Such is the white man's arrogance!"

"May I ask why you're so defensive of this James fellow, forest woman?" one of the council elders asked.

"Because I love him," Azangi said.

The entire council stared at her without comment. Birds twittered in the trees that shaded the royal platform, but no people spoke. Not even the townspeople who had gathered around to watch this scene whispered anything.

It took Mutswe's belly-laugh to break this silence. "So a black man was not good enough for you? Do you not love your own race? Or have you sold all your loyalty to those frost-eyed plunderers?"

Azangi hoisted one hand over her machete's hilt. The rage in her bubbled like magma within a volcano. "Listen, O King of Ulamba, I've had it up to here with your hateful rhetoric. Let us cut to the heart of this: I want to see James Blunt. At most I want to know what he's doing in your kingdom!"

"No, I can tell you want more than that. You want to save your precious white man from the jaws of justice, don't you?" Mutswe stroked his beard. "I might let you do that on one condition."

He rolled himself forward to pick up another gourd. This one had a circular hole on its top sealed with a cork of stone.

"The gourd I hold here contains a secret message bound for Bomna, on the other side of the eastern hills. If you can deliver this and return by the next full moon, I'll release James and you two can leave this country for good. Otherwise, we will carry out his sentence: death by tyrannosaur!"

The moon Azangi had seen last night was half-full, so she had only half the month to carry out this errand. If she failed, she would face the wrath of a monster far bigger and deadlier than anything she had hunted before---if said monster did not already devour James in its cavernous jaws. "You have a deal."

The King of Ulamba clapped his hands and tossed the message-gourd to Azangi. "Before you go, I shall let you see your man for one brief moment. You deserve to know his motives for trespassing, if nothing else."

##​

The compound of prison-huts lay in the black shadow of the wall at Mbanza Ulamba's far end. Unlike the other houses in the city, these structures squatted lower than most men could stand and lacked whitewashing on their mud walls. Guards with spears and reptile-hide shields escorted Azangi to the hut at the very back end of the compound. Mounted on its roof was a white mask with a huge pointed nose and a tiny mouth, an exaggerated caricature of a white man's facial features. Azangi suppressed a desire to curse at this insulting image.

She knelt at the hut's entrance. "Are you there, James?"

From the darkness inside twinkled a pair of blue eyes under tousled yellow hair. Even with all the sweat and the stubble on his chin, James's face would never lose its square-jawed comeliness. He crawled towards Azangi with his muscled sun-bronzed arms. "Holy fuck, is that you, Azangi?"

"After all this time, I am blessed to see you alive again." Azangi ran her hand through James's mane, which shone like gold from the waning sunlight.

"Trust me, it's no blessing if the rest of your safari's rotting in the bush. That King Mutswe is almost as mad as President Custer Davis." James flashed his snow-white teeth in a smile. "But you're always a splendor for sore eyes, my dear."

"I have to ask what you were doing all the way here? You promised not to stray so far."

"True, I thought I would only pick up a few ceratopsian horns within a few days' hike from your village. But then I picked up these rumors about something in the hills east of here. Say, you wouldn't have heard anything about Nondo's Egg, would you?"

"You mean that giant diamond stashed in an ancient ruin? I've heard the legends, all right, but never bought them. You white men will believe anything when it comes to hidden treasures." Azangi held a hand over her mouth to muffle her giggling.

"Oh, come on. That's something Mutswe would say. Whether or not you buy into it, I thought it worth investigating, even if we had to cut straight through this damned Ulamba country." James withdrew his head back into the darkness. "I ought to face the truth. I've been a greedy fool again, and it cost my men their lives!"

Azangi reached her hand into the hut and wiped the tears off James's face with her fingertips. "Maybe your hunger for adventure distracted you again, but don't blame yourself for Mutswe's decree. Besides, you can still get out alive. I swear by the name of Nzambi Konda that I'll break you out of this before the full moon." She tapped her necklace's charm.

"And how do you plan to do that?"

"Mutswe sent me on an errand to Bomna across the hills. If I carry it out and return in time, he'll release you." Azangi held up the message-gourd.

"May I ask one additional favor? They say Nondo's Egg lies somewhere in the area between here and Bomna. Could you find time to check if it really exists?"

"I'll do the best I can. And then I shall see you after the full moon."

Azangi lowered herself onto her elbows and crept towards James in the hut. Slinging their arms around each other, they locked their lips together. So many days had passed since they last kissed like this, and still more awaited until their next. They would have to make the most of this one.

Once Azangi left the prison-hut behind, the moon that rose into the sky was more than half full.
 
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I don't know if this is the thread where to share it. But, I feel proud in that I accomplished more with my life today than Connor Bible has ever done in a month. I finally finished the first chapter in what I hope will be a joint series of articles between a friend and I about our trip to Chicago to see KMFDM. I submit this to you guys and hope it isn't too long/short/autistic.

There I was, right in front of the Chipotle on Forbes Ave. In the heart of Pittsburgh's Oakland neighborhood. Home to SJW's, hipsters and everything that is wrong with free thought in academia and the progressive Left today. A mere hour after I got off the plane at PIT. A pang of the old anxiety was running through me and I was thinking to myself “will this Chipotle menu hack actually work? I've never been to Chipotle before. Is there a certain kind of culture to the place that one has to know of before ordering?” It was not unlike the same anxiety that I felt four days previous, a few hours before I got on a plane for O'Hare, in what was to be the defining trip of my second summer of my adult life, here in 'Murica. The trip that in a sense, I've been waiting to make for the better part of a decade now. On this very trip was where I was going to cross off two big items on the ol' bucket list. I was going to see KMFDM, live, in the very city that helped define them as a band. And I was going to do it in the real life company of the man who a long time ago, when he was just some angry kid, helped me find my own talent and turned me on to some of the things that help define my beliefs today. I was meeting Doom and Jazz!


I've dreamed of this ever since I discovered what good music was, back in the days of my youth filled with my peers either listening to Reggaeton or, if you wanted to be edgy, nu-metal. When I first popped in that VHS copy of Ghost in The Shell and the trailer for Manga Video's other releases rolled by, set to the droning beat of Ultra, I was hooked. I used to even play that tape sometimes just to listen to the trailer alone. But I didn't know who the band was until much later on, when during some random Internet search I decided to search for “that song in the Manga video” with the only clues to the artists being “Ultra/Nihil”. But I was also aware of the fact that as long as I lived within the confines of Progress Island, USA, that the chances of getting to see them were pretty much null. Progress Island, USA is like that. If you want to expand, either you get out, or you get with the program and you don't expand at all. Of course, with all my anxieties back then I wasn't going anywhere. Shit, even today I still feel like I haven't really gone anywhere. However I feel like this is partly due to the fact that even out here, in the Land of The Free and The Home of The Brave(TM), I'm living among my compatriots, whom have no interest in expanding their borders. The insular immigrant community effect in action, indeed. In the end, however, my story about why I love the band is no different than that of a lot of kids from my generation. Angry 90's youth who were getting screwed screwed both on the school yard and out of it by our peers and our superiors and whom felt powerless about it. Some of us even went a step further and decided to take justice into our own hands (at least that's what some of us believed anyway, I for one still don't know what to think). But if you think that this is a condemnation of my generation and that I praise this current crop of millennials whom all graduated high school after 2005 and whom are all about “The Feels” and anti-bullying and whatnot, you are mistaken. Compared to back then, every kid today is a faggot who feels entitled to the world protecting them from offense, rather than learning to either turn the other cheek or being an even bigger asshole in return.


Now that I live here, a lot of things I've only dreamed of doing, have either become realities or are withing the realm of the possible. And going to visit Doom and seeing KMFDM was definitely within the “realm of the possible”. We didn't have a concrete plan back then, when I broke my years-long radio silence with Doom and I informed him that I was on the same continent that he lived in and that we should totally make an epic trip to see the band. A full year would pass, in which we would both suffer heartache, depression, attempted suicide/suicidal thoughts and, in my case, get hit twice by a car, get relatively wealthy from the resulting settlement and actually start earning some decent money at my shitty job.


Speaking of shitty job, even up until the last moment, I wasn't sure if I was going to make the trip. Part of the good ol' Protestant Work Ethic according to the 1%, is that being a lowly wage slave means that you're at the mercy of the needs of your workplace. While I'm lucky to have a full time job, it's a job with it's ups and downs, much like any job in the food service industry. So even though my boss decided to give me two of my three paid “personal leave” days off a month prior because the fucking resort decided to hire a bunch of Jamaican H2B workers, knowing that we were having a slower than usual summer season. So he called me up one day at work and asked me if I wanted to have a week off so that he can give the new hires some work hours. I ended up going to D.C. for an impromptu mini-vacation. But only after I got a sudden notice that I had to move from the apartment that I had been living in for an entire year, in order to accommodate the aforementioned Jamaicans. And it was just my luck that I ended up having to move in with a former roommate of mine, whom I have little tolerance for, yet I used to live in a mild fear of him. In fact, I still do. It's funny that I would fear a grown man in his mid-30's whom is basically a caricature for the Boy Who Never Grew Up that has become a common thread in all the discussions about how our great society is eroding from the inside, as young men and women today just refuse to settle down, marry, buy a home and obtain gainful employment right out of high school. But alas, despite the hyperbole behind such discussions, at least my roommate is the official poster boy for such arguments. Regularly shirks responsibility for the consequences of his actions and blames them on others, still drinks and smokes like if he was in high school and is quit adept at mooching off of others. For as much as he likes to think of me as a “immature”, at least I have a fucking car and have money in the bank. He just wastes his paychecks after paying all the retroactive child support he owes, on expensive sneakers and weed and throwing “small get-togethers” where he desperately tries to hook up with girls barely out of high school and then goes bragging to any ear he thinks is willing to listen to him about his sexual conquests. Fictional or otherwise. I fear him not for those things, but because he has serious anger issues and may be bi-polar. He even punched holes into the walls of our previous apartment one night out of frustration because he couldn't get laid that night. The downtrodden nerdy kid in me, instinctively goes into survival mode against the high school bully whom never grew up nor never quite stopped being a bully. You can call it hyperbole on my part if you like. But I know my fellow Puerto Ricans, and I know when to back the fuck down, unless I want to end up getting shanked or something.


So as you can see, I have every reason to spend as much time outside of this house as I can. So with the one paid day off that I had left to my name, I asked for the weekend of the show off well in advance and hoped that my boss would grant them out of the kindness of his slave-driving little Redneck heart. As it turns out, the week of the show was going to be yet another slow week in what was already a disastrous summer season for the resort. A couple more seasons like this and I don't see how the resort WON'T be filing for bankruptcy.


I bought the tickets well in advance, as did Doom. However, since I wanted to both impress him and I wanted to make the trip as memorable as possible, I was the one who got us our room at a historic hotel on Chicago's Congress Parkway as well as coordinating other minor things.


However, I wasn't even sure about how I wanted to go there. The options were limitless to me. I could of have driven there, flew there or have taken that train ride that I've always wanted to take since I was a kid and which was highly recommended to me by an acquaintance of mine on a certain Internet forum that I frequent. I was strongly considering the train option, but seeing as how I'm the worse procrastinator there is, I waited and I waited, still wondering if I should take the train. Meanwhile, ticket prices soared and before you know it, I decided to drive over there, as gas at that point would of have been cheaper rather than train fare. Nothing like the prospect of driving through hundreds of miles of endless prairie for ten hours straight to excite the soul. Then my car started exhibiting strange behavior which made me question it's safety and my judgment. Was I going to make it in one piece, if at all? That is a story for my next chapter.

Edit: Special unnamed cameo appearance by @buster_kitten near the end.
 
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I don't know if anyone's going to read this, but, if you do, and if you can, suggestions and pointers would be nice, and I thank you in advance. Troubles ahead.

First is, well, "Show, don't Tell".

I don't get that rule. I mean, I guess I get it, but I have a lot of trouble applying it. 90% of everything I've written is descriptive text, mostly information on fictional worlds and characters (that I frequently recycle).

I realized that, when I try to "show" it falls flat and feels very poor and amateurish (I know I'm an amateur, but, you know what I mean); either the vocabulary is limited or the sentences don't read easily, or just drag on for too long (like... most of my posts here, in fact). I feel that things "flow" better when I actually tell what's going on, and, because of that, I get this sensation that my writing is not grasping; it's not captivating the reader, and it feels too "explanatory-ish".

This ties to another problem, which is keeping my characters always consistent. Basically, selecting personality traits and have them show in the narrative through actions, thoughts and behavior. When I do that, it feels like my characters are doing the same thing over and over again, rather than doing different things in a similar fashion. They are not very engaging, either; they feel kind of flat, uninteresting or "just there".

I'll save other problems for another occasion, hehe. Sorry if this became tl;dr! If anyone can give some pointers on how to address those issues, or educational material to share (I've seen one or another post in this thread that helps), I'd be grateful.
 
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I don't know if anyone's going to read this, but, if you do, and if you can, suggestions and pointers would be nice, and I thank you in advance. Troubles ahead.

First things first, post an excerpt. The best advice I can give is that the authors tend to be poor judges of their work, I know I am.
Post some examples and I'll give it a read and see if there are any problems.
 
Currently, I'm juggling multiple novels and college. I really like horror novels...horror meshed with fantasy. Currently, the one I'm focused on is a commentary on abuse. My story revolves around a few themes. Thank god I have Lolcow experience. (Or Horrorcow experience, James helps me write my female abusive character. Who else could write my crazy characters other than the crazy guy?)
 
After dealing with a ton of anxiety and depression issues (ain't it a bitch to be saddled with both?) which I'm still struggling to handle, even as I push forward with my project
I've finally started my story. Your good old-fashioned coming of age story in a world where technology and magic coexist. A couple of factors finally made me go "fuck it" and start. You could say one of them was seeing the drafts for the first two chapters of Alphaboy by our very own Connor Bible.

I had trouble deciding on the setting, and ultimately decided on the tech/magic one. It actually sorted out a huge plothole for the events that kick off the story.

EDIT:
To provide something that might be useful as a tool, there's this website. Behindthename was already mentioned, but this one's pretty good too if you want a fantasy name (or even a real one) but are having trouble coming up with one. Many, if not all, of the real ones do exist.
 
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First things first, post an excerpt. The best advice I can give is that the authors tend to be poor judges of their work, I know I am.
Post some examples and I'll give it a read and see if there are any problems.

You're right, I should've probably done that in the first place. :oops: Thanks for giving my stuff a try. :)

I don't really have excerpts from stories because... I haven't actually written any actual (original) full-lenght story. What I have are, let's say, still shots from a movie. I have random characters and occasionally write individual scenes featuring them. Hopefully it will suffice?

Here are the links:

story 1
story 2
story 3

Currently, I'm juggling multiple novels and college. I really like horror novels...horror meshed with fantasy. Currently, the one I'm focused on is a commentary on abuse. My story revolves around a few themes. Thank god I have Lolcow experience. (Or Horrorcow experience, James helps me write my female abusive character. Who else could write my crazy characters other than the crazy guy?)

rofl, I also had this idea of getting traits from lolcows to insert into potential villains. I very much struggle with writing horror or dark stuff, though.
 
You're right, I should've probably done that in the first place. :oops: Thanks for giving my stuff a try. :)

I don't really have excerpts from stories because... I haven't actually written any actual (original) full-lenght story. What I have are, let's say, still shots from a movie. I have random characters and occasionally write individual scenes featuring them. Hopefully it will suffice?

Here are the links:

story 1
story 2
story 3



rofl, I also had this idea of getting traits from lolcows to insert into potential villains. I very much struggle with writing horror or dark stuff, though.
I`m sure if you used lolcows you`d get better at darker stuff.
 
/r/anarchism did not appreciate my genius.

There are a lot of tight asses in the world, Taliban, Southern Baptists, those Hindu creationists who blow people up. None of them compare to Anarchists. There is not a single group of people more obsessed with other peoples bussiness than Anarchists. No people less able to take a joke. Seriously, talk to one once. See what bothers them. Youd think that Anarchists would focus on things like expanding government powers, poverty, war. But what really bothers them is the idea of people having badwrong thoughts. And what bugs them even more than that is the idea of people believing in the wrong Anarchy.

Thats why if you ever find yourself stuck in a conversation with an Anarchist with no blunt object nearby to beat them to death with, just say that youre an Anacap. Dont even shove it in their faces, just casually drop the names of Anacap writers into the conversation. I have a whole list of them memorized for such occasions. Observe the reaction. Just a few moments ago this revolutionary, power fighting, machine-raging-against, ____archy smashing dweeb thought that you were a statist(Which is a safe assumption since most people are, because most people arent retarded.) and was perfectly willing to ruin your nod with a pleasant conversation about politics. By which I mean smearing their[Notice: gender neutral pronouns : ^ )] self rightous lack of any basic understanding for the functioning of the world in your face like the leaking hemroided asshole of an elderly german prostitute[Notice again, gender neutral : ^ )]. But now that youve established yourself as someone who shares their hatred for the State, but in the wrong way, youve become literally hitler.

At this point the Anarchist is preparing for a fucking argument. Not just an argument, THE argument. The argument to end all arguments. A God-Damn neutron bomb of disagreement. Their anus is at maximum over-clench. They are going to morally one up you so hard horrible indie-pop ballads be written about it for years to come. Maybe it might even inspire a scene in some 5 hour mumblecore masterpiece. Now comes the key moment. You cant argue with them, thats what they want. And more importantly, they can do it for HOURS. You need to brace yourself for the initial barrage. Let it wash over you like the asparagus stinking urine of a german prostitute[: ^ )]. Become Dogen facing down the sword of an angry Samurai with passive serenity. Its a good thing youre nodding.

Once they are done, just say the magic words: "You raise a lot of good points. But in the end, the point of living in an Anarchist world is choice. No one would be forced to live in an Anacap society anymore than a Ana[Whatever] society. Whats important is that we all unite to bring down coercive power structures like the state together." The response will depend on how clever they are. If they happen to be an "Anarchy without suffixes" moron, they might even agree with you. Most of them will recoil in horror. Like a shark thats been attacked, they dont know how to react and just swim away. Others might see through the ruse, but they assume its another moral superiority one upmanship play. They start to double down, they point out that Rent is just a nice way of saying Taxes. That landlords would just become new kings. Dont follow them down either the agreement or the disagreement rabbit hole. Now, you need to abruptly change the subject. "What are you doing to help bring down the state?". The answer to this question is varying degrees of nothing. A little bit of activism, lots of "discussions" and "raising awareness". Simply ask them, without a bit of malice, how these things they are listing off will lead in any way to a stateless society. Prepare for lots of "ummm"s.

Here comes the death blow. "Ron Paul is the person in America doing the most to destroy the state." Of course, Ron Paul is a racist, patriarchial buzzword. Ignore them. Continue. "Ron Paul wants to destroy the Federal Government and replace it with a loose confederation of smaller states with voluntary non-coercive membership. Each state would be able to govern itself as it citizens saw fit. There could even be socialist states. No one would be forced to be a member of any state, and they could move freely between them. It wouldnt be perfect, but Ron Pauls society would bring us one step closer to the Anarchist ideal. And he has a practical plan for doing it. Any Anarchist who actually believes in their ideals, rather than just using them to construct a revolutionary persona while Daddy pays for college, would support Ron Paul."
The rage is palpable. Any pretense of rational debate is shattered as the Anarchists Neocortex sparks and sputters out. Now the Monkey brain is in control. Youre assaulted with a deluge of verbal shit. Insults, cant evens, the occassional incoherent primate screeching. Your nod is just starting to get good. And with the power invested in me by 50mg of Vicodin I turn this shit flinging into lotus blossums. Little do they know that this isnt an ordinary party.

I whistle to get everyones attention. "Yo my dudebros, this Xir doesnt support Ron Paul!" Someone steps forward, its none other than Chad Rapecock, captain of the Cishet University football team, The Oppressors. Chads entire body is covered with neck tattoos. He has line for every PoC he has successfully oppressed, and a jizz-drop for every womyn he has literaelly raped. Chad echoes my call, "Hey all my White Male prived homebois, this shitlord aint down wit' Ron Paul!" For a moment time freezes. An eternity passes in a few seconds. The patrons at the party are stonefaced. It is pure zen. A small flicker of awareness behind their glassed over eyes feels nothing but terror. It is too late now. That flicker is exstinguished. The laughter. It starts slow, but steady and rhythmic. Mild chuckles and light guffaws building in speed and intensity. People trip over furniture and roll on the floor. The laugh is now cacophonous roar. There is no hope. The laughter continues for minutes, and then hours. Lungs burst, ribs break, people choke up blood between convulsions.

The police are called in to containe the situation. The area is quarantined. The laugh shifts in frequency. It is now resonating with the building. The ground shakes and cracks and the entire campus is reduced to rubble. The laugh continues. The party-goers are no longer human. They gnash and tear at their own bodies like rabid apes. The laugh continues. The partygoers burst into explosions of white light. It spreads and soon all of mankind is assimilated. We are now one conciousness. Mankind has now become pure energy. The earth ceases rotation. With every chuckle of the great laugh a beam of information is sent into space, imprinting itself on the universe. Throughout the entire multiverse its effect is felt. The laughter is now all. The universe, every molecule of it, is now self aware. And with that the great game is up, the Godhead now knows itself and the great joke is finally complete. And with this awareness, this moment of pure being, the universe lets out one final giggle and ceases to exist.


Checkmate Atheists.
 
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Given all the talk of "allies" in the SJW circles, some lyrics came to me.

(Done to the tune of "What Have You Done For Me Lately?")

Used to be a time when my ancestors were killed,
Whitey bragged about it all the time,
Guilt by association is what you have to feel,
So get on the floor and kiss my feet,
That's right.

What have you done for me lately?
Ooh ooh ooh yeah
What have you done for me lately?
Ooh ooh ooh yeah

You must go to my protests every night,
Agree with me until you lose your breath,
Speak when spoken to and educate yourself,
Don't matter if you're poor, Irish or gay, ain't that a shame?

What have you done for me lately?
Ooh ooh ooh yeah
What have you done for me lately?
Ooh ooh ooh yeah

If I'm ignoring your feels go fuck yourself,
You know it's the truth,
Your kind is a disgust upon this Earth,
So listen to what I say,

You aughta be thankful for your allyship,
but ask for nothing in return,
Identity politics is all we're gonna talk about,
Tumblr will say,
Die CIS scum
I'm right, you're wrong

What have you done for me lately
Ooh ooh ooh yeah...

Ooh ooh ooh yeah...

Get wit it...Uh
What have you done for me lately Ooh ooh ooh yeah
Ooh ooh ooh yeah

This is petty vengeance, I swear.
 
In my novel (which is currently 130 pages and counting) I have recently become invested in the antagonists.

So to put it in a nutshell, the Antagonists are a group of people who think that by summoning Deus all chaos will dissolve and create a utopian society. The main problem with this is not only does the summoning itself require millions of human lives to be sacrificed, there's also no guarantee that Deus will grant the remainder of humans "Salvation" without either killing them off or keeping them alive, but stripped of their free will.

As insane as the ideology itself is, I kind of find myself sympathizing with the protagonist's older brother who has joined the cult- he believes that this "Salvation" they speak of means that good people will be spared and get to experience a Utopia while everyone else is punished accordingly.
 
-Sorry for the double post-

Are there any other wannabe fantasy novelists who find joy in making up mythology?
 
-Sorry for the double post-

Are there any other wannabe fantasy novelists who find joy in making up mythology?
Ooh! Ooh! Me sir!
I think maybe a bit more than writing mythologies, I enjoy creating religions, rituals and gods for the characters to worship, that play a significant part in the background of my stories.
 
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