Things Chris is Genuinly Good at?

[Fuzzy Wuzzy]

He was good in HTML before. I never learned HTML before due to my lack of English at the time.

(Je suis vietnamienne. Oui je parle aussi le français.)

 

[Kosher Dill]

Well, he wasn't "good" at HTML, but he was able to make a 1994-style website without an HTML program.

 

[WWWWolf]

He's really good at boosting other people's self esteem. Depressed? Had a bad day? Feeling worthless? One look at Chris and you'll feel a helluva lot better about yourself right away!

It's surprising how many people tend to say "well, I was kind of unsure about myself and my abilities, but Chris kind of reminds me that I'm not actually that bad". The fun thing about stereotypes (say, shut-in gamer losers) is that they don't seem to actually apply to most people, and most people can overcome their problems. The stereotypes, however, do apply to Chris. At full force.

He was good in HTML before. I never learned HTML before due to my lack of English at the time.

As a web developer I can say that he was his HTML skills are pretty fucking terrible, no matter how you cut it.

Line 22, Column 6: element "HTTP" undefined

*facepalm* You didn't seriously just do that, Chris.

Line 89, Column 127: end tag for element "ENTER" which is not open

End tag for element what now?

<font face="Aerial">

I know Arial, but what the fuck is Aerial?

...not to even mention that he quit editing his pages by hand and was using Netscape Composer for majority of his "web development".

...not to even mention the non-functional counter scripts and webrings which he didn't actually join. He fails at following cut-and-paste instructions. That's a bit of a problem.

...not to even mention that his website managed to annoy the powers that be:

ARCHIVE NOTE: this script prevents you from using the right-click context menu.
i removed it because it's fucking annoying. - cogsdev

 

[calicojack]

At least he could masturbate, that's for sure. I'm not certain if people have a hard time with that.

 

[CatParty]

At least he could masturbate, that's for sure. I'm not certain if people have a hard time with that.

eh maybe not

http://www.sonichu.com/cwcki/Mass_debating#Frequency

 

[Tetsu Deinonychus]

Nothing. He has no useful skills, knowledge, or abilities.

Maybe his ego, ala Ayn Rand. Now that I think of it, Chris is pretty much a male Ayn Rand.

Hey, now don't go insulting the man. He's nowhere near as awful as Ayn Rand.

One of the things I do give hats off for Chris is the fact that he managed to actually make the Sonichu comic go for hundreds of pages. Even if his artwork is terrible and his writing is even more so, in the end it's still a grand number of work.

So he has some tenacity and I think maybe he would have some potential if he actually bothered to try to produce quality output.

I agree, I wish I had that much of my own comics finished (at a much higher quality of course).

To compare him to less messed-up LOLcow Joe Cracker: If Joe had the idea for Sonichu, he'd just post all over some message board about this great idea for a comic he had, while bugging every artist and writer on the board to make it for him. Chris at least broke out the crayolas and made a whole 11 issues.

In all seriousness, he's the most mind-blowingly amazing lolcow that has ever existed in the history of the planet, and he set the bar for all lolcows, forever. Long after he'll die, there will still be people that can't let go of him.

He is EXTREMELY good at what he's known for. What can I say.

Like I said, he's the Muhammad Ali or Babe Ruth of LOLcows.

 

[homerbeoulve]

Whining.

 

[cypocryphy]

He's a good source of entertainment.

 

[Gurgie]

He is good at teaching people how to make funny stuff.

 

[QI 541]

So he has some tenacity and I think maybe he would have some potential if he actually bothered to try to produce quality output.

He can't produce quality content because he can't recognize it. His perception is absolutely shit. He confused a 14 year old boy with an adult woman. He thinks he can do convincing impersonations of his mother and Liquid Chris. And he thought this would fool the trolls:

The fun thing about stereotypes (say, shut-in gamer losers) is that they don't seem to actually apply to most people, and most people can overcome their problems.

It's not "shut-in gamer losers" anymore, it's "douchebag gamer losers". Which isn't too inaccurate these days.

 

[Batman VS Tony Danza]

He's really good at boosting other people's self esteem. Depressed? Had a bad day? Feeling worthless? One look at Chris and you'll feel a helluva lot better about yourself right away!

This.

I link the CWCki to anyone who had a really fucking bad day.

Me: "Look at this and feel better"
Them: "Uh. I don't know what I'm looking at. Which link should I click?"
Me: "It doesn't matter"
- 15 Minutes Later -
Them: "WHAT. THE. FUCK."
Me: "I know, right? Anyway, sorry your Grandma got raped to death by a steamroller. Is the funeral still going to be open casket?"

 

[Null]

He has a pretty good memory.

Taking up space? He can really do that.

I like this because it is literally a property of matter and nothing special. Chris exists, therefore he takes up space.

 

[GFYS]

He's probably a little better at gaming than average. You could force me to play games for 12 hours a day, all week long, for years; I still won't be able to get some of the PSN trophies he's gotten. I suspect his memory is a little better than average. The only problem is that he applies it poorly.

Everything else I can think of that he's good at, are bad things. He's like a deity of failure. In a million realities - where Chris wasn't killed or erased by outside circumstance - I bet every single one of them has the exact the same Chris... They made the same number of mistakes. They did the same stupid things. They have the same bad habits. They failed at every single thing they ever attempted. Christopher Chris Christian Ricardo Kaka Apple Chrissy Weston Chandler is THE nexus of failure.

 

[BigAltheGreat921]

He's a good source of entertainment.

Yes. Although almost everything is unintentional, it's still very funny.

 

[ON 190]

He'd be great for testing both the size AND effectiveness of biohazard suits. He has a long career ahead of him at the CDC testing things!

 

[TheRetroReplay]

Chris is actually good at being tenacious, when he sees something that he wants, he goes after it and doesn't stop until he obtains it. Although that's more of a quality of his personality than something he could be good at. I guess I would say that Chris is good at collecting things, that's not being snarky, he's good at collecting video games, he has a huge collection of games that any gamer would be envious of.

 

[The Dude]

Drinking his own semen and watching Family Guy.

 

[YouDorks]

Chris is an absolute God of unintentional hilarity. He's comedic gold in the sense of schadenfreude. I swear, he should've partnered with YouTube for the amount of views he got. That would get him off the tugboat.

It would be like reality TV... shows like Jersey Shore where entertainment value derives from people pointing and laughing to feel better anout themselves. Unlike Jersey Shore, it totally fucking real. Google would profit. YouTube would profit. Social Security would be spared a measly burden, but nonetheless spared.

The trouble would come in actually convincing him to go along with it. He basically wouldn't be allowed to know that his payments came at his own expense. The whole ruse would collapse. He would lapse into self parody and game the system.

Still, it would make for an interesting experiement, no?

 

[DrChristianTroy]

He's probably a little better at gaming than average. You could force me to play games for 12 hours a day, all week long, for years; I still won't be able to get some of the PSN trophies he's gotten. I suspect his memory is a little better than average. The only problem is that he applies it poorly.

I have to disagree. I don't have the page in front of me but the games he gets a lot of trophies in are either easy games to get trophies in (Modnation, Duke Nukem Forever) or games he has been playing all his life (Sonic). Even with Duke Nukem Forever he got a trophy for being knocked over 5 times. Maybe it's jut me but DNF is a fairly rudimentary shooter where falling down shouldn't be a problem in the first place. I don't think it's that he is a good gamer (or bad for that matter) but he takes the path of least resistance.

 

[Hasharin]

I swear, he should've partnered with YouTube for the amount of views he got. That would get him off the tugboat.

When someone said something like that during Calling Out saga, other person pointed out that when he uploads a new video, he indeed instantly gets many views, but then it stops.