Tiberius Rising Tiberius: Origins excerpt

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DeagleDad420 said:
I encourage you to read it yourself before reading this thread because it's incredibly short and it's incredibly insane to the point where you probably wouldn't believe me if I described it to you.
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OK wat iz the plot abot im not fucking reading all dese teezers.
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But in all seriousness, Jace seems to take his writing pretty seriously, does he get anyone to proofread it, or is it much like Chris where its a one and done that's good enough for the audience? A lot of details he uses to describe the surroundings just flat don't make sense ("passing cars like a majestic eagle") or beat around the bush:

"It sounded like the howl of a deadly animal"
Oh Jace, you certainly know how to keep your audience guessing.

Maybe its cause I'm relatively new but, from what Ive been observing, he appears to want to improve. But this too could all just be a physical form to play out his fantasies in his head, kinda like Sonichu is to Chris.
 
bradsternum said:
I want him to follow that honored 1980s trend and do Tiberius Babies.
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Oh dear God, it's gonna be like a tacticool version of Sonichu Babies.

Actually, Mr. Logatto's review of that was the only time he ever came close to being remotely funny.
 
Someone really needs to do Tiberius Rising: The Animated Series. And then just parody the hell out of the original work by making insanely over the top. Like, have Ramirez wear a poncho and sombrero at all times, Stryker always shouts all his lines even in situations when he shouldn't (like stealth missions), The Ground Zero Mosque is a giant ominous building shaped like a guy in a turban, and Jenkins at some point had to do this:
Jenkins: "Stryker! They're coming!"
Stryker: "Who? The terrorists?"
Jenkins: "NO! The Leprechauns are a comin tah steal me whiskey!"
Cut to Jenkins who's being approached by a leprechaun with a switchblade.
Leprechaun: "Hey thar boyo!"
Jenkins: "NOOOOOOO!"
And then later Stryker learns that the lucky charms leprechaun is a terrorist planning to contaminate a certain cereal brand with Zombie Anthrax.
 
Epithet said:
But in all seriousness, Jace seems to take his writing pretty seriously, does he get anyone to proofread it, or is it much like Chris where its a one and done that's good enough for the audience? A lot of details he uses to describe the surroundings just flat don't make sense ("passing cars like a majestic eagle") or beat around the bush:

"It sounded like the howl of a deadly animal"
Oh Jace, you certainly know how to keep your audience guessing.

Maybe its cause I'm relatively new but, from what Ive been observing, he appears to want to improve. But this too could all just be a physical form to play out his fantasies in his head, kinda like Sonichu is to Chris.
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And just like Sonichu, the creator takes his work very seriously but won't take critism.
I think Jace is in the mind set that his writing is perfect and anyone who doesn't praise it is a troll/faggot.
 
Randall Fragg said:
Someone really needs to do Tiberius Rising: The Animated Series. And then just parody the hell out of the original work by making insanely over the top. Like, have Ramirez wear a poncho and sombrero at all times, Stryker always shouts all his lines even in situations when he shouldn't (like stealth missions), The Ground Zero Mosque is a giant ominous building shaped like a guy in a turban, and Jenkins at some point had to do this:
Jenkins: "Stryker! They're coming!"
Stryker: "Who? The terrorists?"
Jenkins: "NO! The Leprechauns are a comin tah steal me whiskey!"
Cut to Jenkins who's being approached by a leprechaun with a switchblade.
Leprechaun: "Hey thar boyo!"
Jenkins: "NOOOOOOO!"
And then later Stryker learns that the lucky charms leprechaun is a terrorist planning to contaminate a certain cereal brand with Zombie Anthrax.
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I wanted to do a comic like that but I'm not sure about it yet.

KingofManga420 said:
I wanted to do a comic like that but I'm not sure about it yet.
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Not sure what the forum thing on double posting is, but if anyone actually IS interested in having a comic series like Randall Flagg suggested I'm open to doing it but I have a weird art situation right now so I would need to work around a few things. I'd like a couple creative writer/idea men to PM me and we can all make one big convo and do some brainstorming after I explain my situation and my ideas.

I'm an amateur cartoonist in training, you could say. Here's some of my work but its mostly a training blog so its not that great an example: http://getfeelingsocomplicated.tumblr.com/

Edit: Got enough recruits, project is afoot
 
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KingofManga420 said:
Not sure what the forum thing on double posting is, but if anyone actually IS interested in having a comic series like Randall Flagg suggested I'm open to doing it but I have a weird art situation right now so I would need to work around a few things. I'd like a couple creative writer/idea men to PM me and we can all make one big convo and do some brainstorming after I explain my situation and my ideas.

I'm an amateur cartoonist in training, you could say. Here's some of my work but its mostly a training blog so its not that great an example: http://getfeelingsocomplicated.tumblr.com/

Edit: one guy on board, looking for more creative writer types.
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I'm willing to help out! That sounds fun!
 
Woody Chan said:
Admitably, there is some semblance of improvement here when you get to the street race scene. Giving props to where they belong.

Its still racist, and the begining part sounds like its setting up some XXX GAY INTERRACIAL HARDCORE BACKSEAT ACTION XXX when its describing the car and JackxRameriez's elation over it.
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“Let’s take her for a spin, yeah ese?” Ramirez said, ashing his Cuban cigar as he reclined in the passenger seat. “Wanna show you the goods before we make it final, seen?”

WOW Totally thought you were joking.

And then-- the train? The street level train in the Bronx that is somehow next to ground zero...
 
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ParkourKitten91 said:
And then-- the train? The street level train in the Bronx that is somehow next to ground zero...
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I think Jace thinks of NYC as being a little bit like the Rainy City from Inception... complete with trains out of fucking nowhere. Either that or the whole Origins things is a Mary-Sue power-wank just like the original first chapter of Tiberius Rising :lol:
 
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