Tracking Amber's Weight Loss Methods

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tbh im not sure how this thread can work because she tries the same handful of things over and over and over.

Someone should just make a bingo card
 
The name of this thread implies she's actually lost weight; the only "method" that has achieved this so far has been gastrointestinal illness, and she has gained more than double what she lost.
 
Strine said:
The name of this thread implies she's actually lost weight; the only "method" that has achieved this so far has been gastrointestinal illness, and she has gained more than double what she lost.
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Or that time other people did it for her.
 
SAVE TWINKIE! said:
Someone should just make a bingo card
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There is the Not Putting My Whole Hock on the Scale Diet, the Fucking With the Tare Diet, the Writing Numbers Down Wrong Diet, and the I Don't Know How Numbers Work Diet.
 
The only successful weight loss that she's had (89 elbees) was achieved under strict supervision and personal training. The weight was pretty much shamed out of her. Amber is the kind of person that would only lose weight if she were forced to live in a household of healthy, fit people and was shamed and scolded for being fat. She'd lose it if she had to fend for herself to drive and buy her own vices. The worst thing that happened to her was the financial freedom that youtube gave her. (and moving to peewee's playhouse with Becky the enabler)

This is why she loathes doctors or anyone in the medical field at that. Her kryptonite is to be shamed in public. (There's a difference between us and real-life people surrounding her) Remember her offense to "beanbag in a hurry"? So in reality, no, she's never successfully lost weight on her own. But she was successful out of the force of her immediate environment.
 
i get what you're saying, in fact no one likes to be shamed--it feels like shit

what i cant understand is how she isnt ashamed of herself
 
It’s sad that AL ate herself into this point, but she brought it upon herself. Her life is a speeding train hurtling towards a cliff. At this point, the only way our gorl is going to be calorie defecit is when she’s six feet under and rotting.
 
What's so sad is even if she got onto MSPL, I bet she'd fuck it up. A chance that a lot of people would take seriously, and she'd fuck it up and demand Becky bring her McDonald's
 
It's kind of sad when to have any thing like not rampant weight gain, took a personal trailer. <I didn't know a personal trainer was involved. I thought it was more or less some one's parents just not giving her 6000 calories a day>

Do you think the guys even had the guts to go and say any thing to Hamber? Like honestly?? I can entirely see her calling them out for having like a bowl of ice cream or some thing, or a slushie. <And by call out I mean hysterical screaming she has none> and that being it.
 
We forgot all of her dieting lists on her phone and journal.

Our gorl is also the self proclaimed “Queen of moderation”. She has tried using her super human powers to know exactly how many calories are in something, so she uses that for dieting sometimes
 
SAVE TWINKIE! said:
i get what you're saying, in fact no one likes to be shamed--it feels like shit

what i cant understand is how she isnt ashamed of herself
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She's probably not ashamed of herself because she does the minimal amount of thinking required to not be a vegetable, and has no sense of self reflection. The only time she feels shame is when it comes from the outside. It's why I think the only "wake up" call she might ever have is if she has a fall in a public place, and she's so heavy becky can't hoist her up. Everyone just laughing at the hippo on its back until the fire department or some shit has to come and get equipment to move her. Nothing short of that will shame her into weight loss.

And as for diet plans. Can we all agree the fundamental flaw is Amber thinks that finding the right diet scheme is some sort of magic trick to let her eat whatever she wants as long as she does X thing. She has absolutely no desire to change, she just doesnt want to die because that would get in the way of eating.
 
DubbleBubble said:
She's probably not ashamed of herself because she does the minimal amount of thinking required to not be a vegetable, and has no sense of self reflection. The only time she feels shame is when it comes from the outside. It's why I think the only "wake up" call she might ever have is if she has a fall in a public place, and she's so heavy becky can't hoist her up. Everyone just laughing at the hippo on its back until the fire department or some shit has to come and get equipment to move her. Nothing short of that will shame her into weight loss.

And as for diet plans. Can we all agree the fundamental flaw is Amber thinks that finding the right diet scheme is some sort of magic trick to let her eat whatever she wants as long as she does X thing. She has absolutely no desire to change, she just doesnt want to die because that would get in the way of eating.
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I agree with almost everything you wrote, but I don't think she'll ever have a "wake up call".

This is a person who chose to only get out of the house after sunset so that there will be less people around to see how huge she is. Because even in KY people will stop and look, and when it happens she claims it's because she's sooooooooooooo sexy.

I bet most things that would embarrass her have already happened in public - chairs cracking or breaking when she sat on them, not being able to go through a door, needing help getting up after sitting down, ripping her pants, farting, peeing and even defecating on herself in public...

Amber lives in a perpetual state of gas-lighting - her viewers, her friends, her caretakers girlfriends, and most importantly, herself.

Don't be fooled by her demeanor. She's very much ashamed of her body. That is why she slinks around in the dark like a vampire monster truck in the nightlife. That is why she surrounds herself with people who she thinks are even a bigger spectacle than herself.
 
I think it's fair to say she has tried every single possible diet many, many times. The only exception is the horrendously complicated, oh-noes-couldn't-possibly-work, and horribly counter-intuitive one known as Eat. Less. Nosebag.

She probably expends more calories trying to find looopholes in her diet plan and rationalisations for each failure than almost anything else.
 
It's a shame we don't have a line to the guys; their insight would be amazing. Along with paying them to set up 24/7 cameras around the house when Hambeast is busy gorging on fast food, and giving KF a week look into her actual life when ever she claims some new diet.

I agree with the sentiment there is no wake up call for her. I think if some thing happened where she fell, she'd claim the floor was wet or some thing. She flat out doesn't seem to care her life span is being measured in the 'months' department vs 'decades' like most ordinary people..
 
Guardsman42 said:
's a shame we don't have a line to the guys; their insight would be amazing. Along with paying them to set up 24/7 cameras around the house when Hambeast is busy gorging on fast food, and giving KF a week look into her actual life when ever she claims some new diet.
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I hate to piss on this fire but if Amber and Eric presumably try to film the "interesting" things for their videos, life in that household off-camera would bore an arsehole into a wooden horse.

Regarding weight loss prospects: Amber isn't planning to live past 40 and anything she says to the contrary is for adsense shekels or to give herself specious consolation. She hasn't cared about her future since Density left and she had to throw her lot in with the first dyke on OkCupid who could chauffeuse and accomodate her. Living with Becky and Eric - Thumb and Dumber - would drive anybody to existential despair. She might have some glimmer of hope if she gets out of the Fagshack and drops Becky like the hot potato she physically resembles, and finds a new host organism that won't enable her for Krayon Munny & Wommart Shurts, but I'm being so optimistic that a harp has physically manifested next to me to play magical rainbow sounds.
 
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