A pregnant woman, newborn or dying relative takes the spotlight off of them. That's why them 'coming out' in these scenarios is so common.
It's the same as how, say, a lot of women will realize their husbands are abusive when they have a baby and the abuse ramps up, or when their mother is dying and their husband starts throwing abusive tantrums about how she needs to be at home with him instead. Abusers can't
stand not being the center of their victim's entire world. They put so much time and effort into ensuring their victim cannot leave them and has to spend every waking moment catering to them and even when they aren't there, thinking carefully about what they need to do to appease him and try to keep him from hurting them... and so on. It's all about control and making sure they're the center of their victim's world.
And this trooning out shit these men are doing
is abuse - it's just emotional abuse rather than physical. It often has elements of financial abuse, since these men have no qualms about wasting their entire family's savings on plastic surgeries and new wardrobes, as well, but the main component is emotional abuse and control. They get to not only demand that everyone's attention be on them now, they get to demand that everyone cater to them constantly and walk on eggshells around them to make sure they feel "affirmed" and "validated" - and they have a bulletproof societally-endorsed excuse to flip out and abuse their victims if they feel that they've fallen short in their affirmations, because "it's okay to be violent towards a transphobe" and "how could you blame her when you're the one being a bigot". And heaven forbid the woman decide to leave him, or speak out against his abuse - she'll be labeled a TERF transphobic bigot and could lose her job and her entire support system.
Most people (who aren't members of the incel brigade, anyway) these days are at least a little bit wise to the usual abuser's tactics after his victim finally gets the courage to leave him - we roll our eyes and immediately doubt when a guy starts going off about how his ex-wife was soooo crazy, she falsely accused him of abuse can you believe it, she was hysterical, she probably had BPD, whatever the usual excuses are nowadays. But people (generally, obviously doesn't count people here on the Farms) are primed to automatically believe a poor oppressed twanswoman when he cries that his ex-wife was a transphobic abuser who - gasp - tried to force him back into the closet and wouldn't honor his pronouns, and society will punish said ex-wife accordingly.
But that makes sense, because trans ideology is absolutely
perfect for abusers. It's why it attracts so many of them, along with every other kind of predator. When you're a trans-identified male, you get to control the narrative. Everyone has to give you everything you could ever want or else they're an evil bigot, and no one will question you when you label someone that way. Everyone has to walk on eggshells around you to make sure you're always feeling valid and womanly. You can isolate your victims, effortlessly, just by slandering them as a transphobe - boom, they don't have a support system that might have otherwise helped them realize they're being abused or escape from you. Oh, and don't forget that everyone has to give you loads of money and you aren't expected to support yourself or have any responsibilities, either, just as icing on the cake.
Transitioning after marriage is just plain abuse.
