- Joined
- Nov 30, 2016
Well a Democrat WAS elected so...
Twitter 12/29/20 The merge is on. - ITS HAPPENING
- Thread starter Bec
- Start date
- Status
JongleJingle
kiwifarms.net
- Joined
- Dec 16, 2019
Honestly, the ramifications of such an event have already been elaborated on so many times, but I'll just add in some writefaggotry of my own because why not, it's fun:
Friendly reminder than Chris is still a fat homosexual and I would still not have sex with him in ANY form he takes.
It is the year 2021, and all is blown to hell and beyond. Literally.
The goddess to be, Christine Weston Chandler, had finally done it. She had torn open the walls between flesh reality and cartoon reality. The prophesized time would come; Christine would finally escape the droll reality she would be stuck in, and all would go as ordained by her visions and dreams. Everything would be set right.
Except it DIDN'T go right.
The merge occurred on the fated hour, and all life on Earth felt a power unheard or seen in many millennia. Every life form, from the simplest micro-organism to the smartest men alive felt a tremor, a rift in their very minds and bodies, feeling a sort of unbalance only those sent to space or in a deprivation tank can claim to know.
Then death came to the little blue ball of Earth.
Starships the size of continents. Beasts that could swallow cities. Armies that could crush the planet in moments. Spirits, demons and angels, given free reign to destroy or create at a moments whim.
The destined to die did as they were fated, merged with their dimensional counterpart. But the results were not to expectation: the abominations that formed instead became feared creatures, destroying all in their path in a ravenous desire to end their misery and pain. Whole swaths of these beasts roamed the world, fighting anything they came across.
Soon enough, the factions on the planet realized their fate. Borders and treaties and war declarations and surrenders and conquests and so much more were made, the whole planet becoming a warzone. The weakest were destroyed or assimilated in short order; the strongest would thrive, enslaving all nearby that they could or aligning with similarly minded factions.\
Christine was confused and furious, as always. She tried in vain to contact her creations, her children, but their signals could not be found. Truth be told, they were destroyed soon after the merge; beings or forces more powerful than they had found them, and either killed or experimented upon them. All of Chandlers "hubbies" were wrought out without second thought.
The resulting wars that ensued were horrific. Star Destroyers traded blows with UNSC ships. Astartes fought hordes of Ravagers and demons from hell. Metal Gears nuked entire continents while Evangelions and Angels did battle once more with confusion and hatred. The original inhabitants were quickly wiped away, either killed or indoctrinated into a faction. Soon, nowhere on Earth was safe. War had officially become the only means of life.
It took a whole 3 days before something close to peace had been made. The Imperium of Man, GDI, EDF, UNSC and UAC (or the remnants of said factions) combined forces, forming the United Coalition of Mankind, or UCOM. Most of the original inhabitants of Earth joined the UCOM, seeing them as protectors of Earth, trying to rebuild what remained of their world. UCOM's methods were cruel, yes, but neccesary to survive; the radioactive, reality warped remains outside the City-Continents were too dangerous to live in. Stiff regulations and daily searches would keep the remains of Mankind alive, if only a bit more unhappy than usual.
Other factions existed, such as the Consortium of Xenological Species, or COXS. Comprised of entirely alien species, they desired a way off of Earth, and back to their homeworlds or territories. The Eldar, Tau, Covenant, Etherials and more were part of this faction. They treated Humans irregularly; sometimes with peaceful intentions, othertimes with just plain hostility. UCOM and COXS constantly fought for obvious reasons.
However, there remains a far more deadly and insidious force in both plain view and the shadows. A hellish force, often literally, lurking beyond the tattered remains of reality. They are the Distorted, the eldritch gods and reality warping species of Broken Earth. The Chaos Gods, Bydo, Azathothian Pantheon and more comprise this "Faction": for they acted more as barbarians at the gate and destroyers of all instead of a civilized force. They despise and are amused of both factions, seeing them nothing more than prey or playthings for their whims. The Chaos Gods and Bydo are at constant odds however, their very natures compelling them to corrupt one another. This is barely kept in check however by some of the more powerful beings, namely Nyarlathotep and The Crimson King.
But what of Chandler? How does she fare in this Broken Earth? Only a few know for certain; She has hidden herself from the world, fallen deeper into her shattered dreams and delusions. She still searches for Sonichu and Mewtwo, in a desperate attempt to find some form of peace in a world torn asunder by warfare and shattered pockets of reality.
The world is broken, but a small sect still has enjoyment to be had. An order of "Shitposters", making fun of the situations in the world, especially those they deem "lolcows". They go by many names; Farmers, Kiwis, Christorians and more. But put simply, they are the remnants of Kiwi Farms, still chronicling the worlds gaffes, japes and mishaps without abbandon. They have been gifted with something special; a working computer with a special copy of the internet only THEY can access. So they shall sit on their asses and write shitposts aplenty, and laugh, rage, cry and sigh at the many, many things this new world has to offer together.
The world is broken, but by god has it gotten a lot more interesting.
Thanks for coming to my Ted Talk lol.
The goddess to be, Christine Weston Chandler, had finally done it. She had torn open the walls between flesh reality and cartoon reality. The prophesized time would come; Christine would finally escape the droll reality she would be stuck in, and all would go as ordained by her visions and dreams. Everything would be set right.
Except it DIDN'T go right.
The merge occurred on the fated hour, and all life on Earth felt a power unheard or seen in many millennia. Every life form, from the simplest micro-organism to the smartest men alive felt a tremor, a rift in their very minds and bodies, feeling a sort of unbalance only those sent to space or in a deprivation tank can claim to know.
Then death came to the little blue ball of Earth.
Starships the size of continents. Beasts that could swallow cities. Armies that could crush the planet in moments. Spirits, demons and angels, given free reign to destroy or create at a moments whim.
The destined to die did as they were fated, merged with their dimensional counterpart. But the results were not to expectation: the abominations that formed instead became feared creatures, destroying all in their path in a ravenous desire to end their misery and pain. Whole swaths of these beasts roamed the world, fighting anything they came across.
Soon enough, the factions on the planet realized their fate. Borders and treaties and war declarations and surrenders and conquests and so much more were made, the whole planet becoming a warzone. The weakest were destroyed or assimilated in short order; the strongest would thrive, enslaving all nearby that they could or aligning with similarly minded factions.\
Christine was confused and furious, as always. She tried in vain to contact her creations, her children, but their signals could not be found. Truth be told, they were destroyed soon after the merge; beings or forces more powerful than they had found them, and either killed or experimented upon them. All of Chandlers "hubbies" were wrought out without second thought.
The resulting wars that ensued were horrific. Star Destroyers traded blows with UNSC ships. Astartes fought hordes of Ravagers and demons from hell. Metal Gears nuked entire continents while Evangelions and Angels did battle once more with confusion and hatred. The original inhabitants were quickly wiped away, either killed or indoctrinated into a faction. Soon, nowhere on Earth was safe. War had officially become the only means of life.
It took a whole 3 days before something close to peace had been made. The Imperium of Man, GDI, EDF, UNSC and UAC (or the remnants of said factions) combined forces, forming the United Coalition of Mankind, or UCOM. Most of the original inhabitants of Earth joined the UCOM, seeing them as protectors of Earth, trying to rebuild what remained of their world. UCOM's methods were cruel, yes, but neccesary to survive; the radioactive, reality warped remains outside the City-Continents were too dangerous to live in. Stiff regulations and daily searches would keep the remains of Mankind alive, if only a bit more unhappy than usual.
Other factions existed, such as the Consortium of Xenological Species, or COXS. Comprised of entirely alien species, they desired a way off of Earth, and back to their homeworlds or territories. The Eldar, Tau, Covenant, Etherials and more were part of this faction. They treated Humans irregularly; sometimes with peaceful intentions, othertimes with just plain hostility. UCOM and COXS constantly fought for obvious reasons.
However, there remains a far more deadly and insidious force in both plain view and the shadows. A hellish force, often literally, lurking beyond the tattered remains of reality. They are the Distorted, the eldritch gods and reality warping species of Broken Earth. The Chaos Gods, Bydo, Azathothian Pantheon and more comprise this "Faction": for they acted more as barbarians at the gate and destroyers of all instead of a civilized force. They despise and are amused of both factions, seeing them nothing more than prey or playthings for their whims. The Chaos Gods and Bydo are at constant odds however, their very natures compelling them to corrupt one another. This is barely kept in check however by some of the more powerful beings, namely Nyarlathotep and The Crimson King.
But what of Chandler? How does she fare in this Broken Earth? Only a few know for certain; She has hidden herself from the world, fallen deeper into her shattered dreams and delusions. She still searches for Sonichu and Mewtwo, in a desperate attempt to find some form of peace in a world torn asunder by warfare and shattered pockets of reality.
The world is broken, but a small sect still has enjoyment to be had. An order of "Shitposters", making fun of the situations in the world, especially those they deem "lolcows". They go by many names; Farmers, Kiwis, Christorians and more. But put simply, they are the remnants of Kiwi Farms, still chronicling the worlds gaffes, japes and mishaps without abbandon. They have been gifted with something special; a working computer with a special copy of the internet only THEY can access. So they shall sit on their asses and write shitposts aplenty, and laugh, rage, cry and sigh at the many, many things this new world has to offer together.
The world is broken, but by god has it gotten a lot more interesting.
Thanks for coming to my Ted Talk lol.
Friendly reminder than Chris is still a fat homosexual and I would still not have sex with him in ANY form he takes.
- Joined
- Aug 29, 2019
- Joined
- Jun 12, 2019
if you merge into moxxie after the merge...can i have your wife?
also it's more like this for me
- Joined
- Aug 29, 2019
No, I will hope and prey I stay as my own measly human form so can court my wife
- Joined
- Oct 11, 2014
I direct you all to look at my avatar.
This is what's coming along with Chris's ponies and sonichus.
Be prepared, niggers. All your penis are belong to her.
*edit* well thanks for stealing my thunder, @JongleJingle ! This looks rather pissyass in comparison with your full-press focussed post!
This is what's coming along with Chris's ponies and sonichus.
Be prepared, niggers. All your penis are belong to her.
*edit* well thanks for stealing my thunder, @JongleJingle ! This looks rather pissyass in comparison with your full-press focussed post!
Last edited:
- Joined
- Jun 12, 2019
hey you can have that literal living doll (provided she's still not clam wrestling with vaggie) I want the imp chick and the hellhound
Oaat
kiwifarms.net
- Joined
- Oct 21, 2018
Um, what's going on in new mexico right now?
- Joined
- Dec 22, 2020
sorry lads, this is the REAL THEME!
- Joined
- Oct 3, 2018
- Joined
- Aug 29, 2019
There are many good waifus in Hazbin/Helluva that'd have a hard time choosing, but my choice would come down to these three if the merge happens and Chris was right all along
- Joined
- Mar 29, 2014
Meanwhile, having kiwi birds [floating] on innertubes in our pools wouldn't be so bad. They would say "wat" a lot though.
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- Joined
- Dec 27, 2020
furry.
- Joined
- Jun 12, 2019
like i said you can have charlie...octavia...ehhh let me have loony and the birb girl's "feathery ass" is all yours.
hater
- Joined
- Aug 29, 2019
I don't go by that term, I just like jacking it to Krystal the fox sometimes
A lot of furries are gross deviants, I am much more of a weeb nowadays
- Joined
- Jun 12, 2019
big differed between sexy big tited fox girls and sexy pink haired vampire girls and the hyperinflation, diaperfag blm supoorters the furries have devolved into mien friuend
- Joined
- Nov 26, 2018
TFW you walk in on the imaginary version of Chris' taint eating someone.I direct you all to look at my avatar.
This is what's coming along with Chris's ponies and sonichus.
Be prepared, niggers. All your penis are belong to her.
*edit* well thanks for stealing my thunder, @JongleJingle ! This looks rather pissyass in comparison with your full-press focussed repost!
- Joined
- Aug 29, 2019
- Joined
- Jun 12, 2019
this thread has gone from Chris tweeting "it's happening" to a thread on half the farms repressed sexual fantasies and fetishes.
Isn't it beautiful?
Isn't it beautiful?
- Joined
- Dec 22, 2020
this is what lockdown does to us
- Status