Types of Comments/Replies that make you "MATI"

[Sean_Igger]

"That isn't very Christian of you. Jesus would *INSERT MODERN SLOP HERE*."

I'm not even remotely religious and even I find this shit infuriating and deserving of an Old Testament stoning.

 

[Ozul]

Anything that ends in "sweetie."

or Instagram bots that say:

"Anyone who isn't following your page is truly missing out! Wow the temu giftcard in your description really works, thank bro ur a real one!"

 

[Neko GF]

Spam replies that validate the Dead Internet Theory-

 

[Tenshi Eating A Corn Dog!]

Too many people write in meme formats rather than writing sentences they actually put any thought into. I'll always maintain that the whole "Dead Internet Theory" was just people subconsciously wising up to the fact a lot of their fellows weren't much better than bots when it came to sharing their thoughts on anything. Of course they blamed the bots, which is fair because there's a lot of them, but I think the average commenter has a lot of culpability when it comes to the feeling that nobody else is online. A digital version of the Philisophical Zombie.

Personally, I'm infuriated when anyone butts into a conversation about a problem with a personal anecdote to both downplay any problem and also to get attention for whatever inane thing they have going on. The phrase "write a blog" should come back into use if we're just going to speak in one sentence replies nowadays.

 

[neger psykolog]

Anything that ends in "sweetie."

I see that in deathfats/beauty parlor subforum sometimes and it's always right before some woman lists out like a 14 paragraph criticism of Foodie Beauty (or whoever's) make up or the clothes they're wearing or some other woman shit. The TLDR is always "bitch you're fat as fuck and you look like a fucking hippo in that dress, your make up makes you look like the bad kind of street hooker"

Maybe men can't comprehend it but it seems like when a woman uses it against another woman it's like full force viciousness.

 

[Meth Dick]

"RAAAAAHHH"
"My Brother in Christ"
"Bihh" and "ahh" as in "you a lame ahh bihh" instead of "You're a lame ass bitch"
Are the biggest ones that make me want to kick someone to death.

others include:
"In my humble opinion"
literally every single youtube comment trend that has ever existed
"It's giving"
every tumblrism ("Did you just...", stutter typing, etc.)

Basically any and all phrases used by zoomerfaggots and alphaniggers.

 

[Polock]

The number one thing that pisses me off is when people post a cropped out image of an amusing comment chain, but also include some variation of "OMG LOL IC ANT BREAAATHE THATS HILARIOUS" inside of the image as well. This was definitely part of the meta for tumblr screencaps, there was always a "oh my god I can't even" at the bottom.

Its the image equivalent of a laugh track. It insults your intelligence by directly telling you "This was funny, you should laugh at it!"

"It's giving"

This too.

 

[Cheesy Beavy]

I know I fuck up sometimes but I’m a big grammar Nazi. There’s a user ,that I won’t tag, that uses “an” when it should just be “a” and that shit pisses me off.

I know it’s not comments but I know people who use “ideal” instead of “idea” and I want to smack them across the head. Those are two separate things.

I hate sharty lingo because it’s fucking retarded.

 

[Matzo Nazi]

Whenever someone talks about a traumatic experience and they're spammed with "Go play Tetris! It's proven to prevent ptsd" I want to gouge my eyes out. It's posted with an insane consistency, probably one of the most rage inducing things on the internet for me.

 

[neger psykolog]

The number one thing that pisses me off is when people post a cropped out image of an amusing comment chain, but also include some variation of "OMG LOL IC ANT BREAAATHE THATS HILARIOUS" inside of the image as well. This was definitely part of the meta for tumblr screencaps, there was always a "oh my god I can't even" at the bottom.

Its the image equivalent of a laugh track. It insults your intelligence by directly telling you "This was funny, you should laugh at it!"

It's the same thing with faggot "reaction" channels on Facebook and Instagram that are literally just some random guy in the corner of a popular video making the most generic facial expressions and adding nothing of substance.
I think Jason Derulo or some other rapper had an entire "fake channel" where he obviously hired someone to just superimpose his likeness on viral videos (someone caught it out and it was literally the same clip of him being used on like dozens of different videos)

 

[Looney Troons]

I think the latest social commentary trend that irritates me the most is when people use image generation tools in a really poor attempt to mock something. I cannot tell you how many bad machine generated images I’ve seen of Elon Musk and Donald Trump making out as an attempt to “own” or “make a statement” against them. Imagine feeling so much vitriol for two people yet being compelled enough to specifically prompt gay actions for them in an imagine you wish to generate.

 

[Baumstriezel]

Anything in AAVE. It’s bewildering to me how a bastardization of the Engish language spoken by an extremely annoying percentage of already very annoying people is so ubiquitous in the online space. Also, fuck emojis.

 

[Testacles Maximus]

Anyone here in 2025?

 

[mister fireworks]

every comment on any instagram post/reel/whatever

I recently started reading lipstick alley, which is ostensibly a bunch of black women talking about mostly black shit. I dont know if we can really blame niggers for shitting up the english vernacular anymore because the discussions on that website dont have any of the retarded contemporary slang (or even many y'alls, which is interesting) that are now endemic to comment sections on reddit or instagram where statistically a very small portion of the commenters could possibly be black.

 

[Apochrypha]

When you have tech issues and do some searching on the internet to see if you can find help, and you end up on an old forum page where some random guy from like 2009 had the same problem and instead of TELLING US HOW HE SOLVED IT just says "edit: I did it! Problem solved, thnx "

Kill yourself.

 

[Secret Boots]

Clown farmers in Steam discussions / announcements are fucking annoying and it's one of the few things that jannies should be moderating against, but they never do shit unless it's wrongthink against minorities or faggots. It's always some ragebait like "add trans character pls uwu" and it somehow works every fucking time.

 

[Captain Chromosome]

Oh finally. I absolutely despise situations like the following:

1. IP or Project adds representation (characters, storylines, retcons, etc.). Let's represent this mysterious type of representation as "G".
2. People express dislike for said G shit.
3. Said people are brigades by defenders saying "How does this affect you?" or "Why do you hate G people?"

 

[Mr. Manchester]

The way people add an emoji after they type a word. The people that make those mutant pit bulls do it all the time. That and the forced use of y'all.

Sup y'all, I shit my underwear like a dumb fucking gorilla and now I'm typing with shit stained hands on my cell phonelike the retard that I am.

 

[Merton J. Dingle]

Whenever someone criticizes something for going woke and some retard says, "x has always been woke," and then proceeds to equate a 2000s or late 20th century attempt at diversity with some genderqueer or BLMish crap. I've seen this done with comics quite a bit.

 

[MerriedxReldnahc]

idk like that thing ppl do like on tumblr???? where everything is lowercase??? and followed by question marks????
WRITE NORMALLY WITH PUNCTUATION, YOU FUCK