Lovequest Updated OKC Profile

  • 🏰 The Fediverse is up. If you know, you know.
  • Want to keep track of this thread?
    Accounts can bookmark posts, watch threads for updates, and jump back to where you stopped reading.
    Create account
Status
Not open for further replies.
EDIT: omg or better yet: (best one yet IMO)
Would you consider performing anilingus on a partner who asked you to?

16859411088605615011.jpeg
Yes.

He won't take "No" as an answer....
Click to expand...
Dear god, why? :cryblood:

Also, who in their right minds would take time out of their day to help some jobless sap with their okcupid profile? Kim's kind of nuts I guess.
 
Christ-Chan said:
Actually, I'd say it's surprising how he is very picky, according to his answers. Of course, what Chris practices and what he preaches are very different, but he went out of his way to put up hurdles for any sweet-heart to be (like his insistence on GUARANTEED ass-to-mouth from his sweetheart - NO HAGGLE).
Click to expand...

Of course he set up hurdles! You have to weed out the trolls, and make sure that his potential sweetheart is totally serious about getting her hands on some TRUE and HONEST Bent Duck. There's also the desire to protect the precious, precious Chandler seed, as well as keeping goldiggers away from the valuable burnt barbage Chris is looking to inherit when Barb finally croaks.

And he's really not that picky (have you seen pics of the IRL chicks he's gone after? Ugh). He claims to be picky, but he'll try to grope anyone that speaks to him. Or looks at him. Or is able to stand the stench of being within 10 yards of him....
 
Marvin said:
Double edit: Here's all the questions, plus all the possible answers. I did write code to get the categories, but right as I go to test it out, chrome or something started getting fucky and it wouldn't work. But otherwise, here you go: http://pastebin.com/TZrs8vX7
Click to expand...

I put together a crappy script that CWCkifies the data. I'll use it to update the list on the CWCki in a bit... I have to merge it with the existing pipes.(edit: It's updated now.) Code is below in case it becomes useful again at some point in the future.

Code: 
#!/usr/bin/python

import sys, re

def delimited(file, delimiter='\n', bufsize=4096):
   buf = ''
   while True:
     newbuf = file.read(bufsize)
     if not newbuf:
       yield buf
       return
     buf += newbuf
     lines = buf.split(delimiter)
     for line in lines[:-1]:
       yield line
     buf = lines[-1]

if len(sys.argv) != 3:
   print 'Usage: cwckifier.py <input file name> <output file name>'
   sys.exit(1)
f = open(str(sys.argv[1]), 'r')
questions = list(delimited(f, '='*80))
questions.pop() #tail element is empty
o = open(str(sys.argv[2]), 'w')
o.write('{| class="wikitable"\n! Question\n! Answers\n! Explanation\n')
for q in questions:
   number = re.search('Question #([0-9]+)', q).group(1)
   question = re.search('Q:  (.*)\n', q).group(1)
   pas = re.compile('\n? \* (.*)\n',re.MULTILINE)
   possibleAnswers = pas.findall(q)
   answer = re.search('Chris\' answer:  (.*)\n', q).group(1)
   explanation = re.search('Explanation: (.*)\n', q).group(1)
   o.write('\n|-\n| ' + question + ' ||\n')
   for pa in possibleAnswers:
     if (pa.find(answer)==0):
       o.write('* <u>' + pa + '</u>\n')
     else:
       o.write('* ' + pa + '\n')
   o.write(' || ' + explanation)
o.write('\n\n|}')
print 'Processed ' + len(questions) + ' questions.'
edit: fixed output file formatting so that the possible answers are in a list

I know it's probably a pain in the ass, but do you think you could try to harvest the answers Chris marked as desirable choices for matches? That way we could format the list similar to the way it was done for the old questions at the top of this page.
 
Last edited:
warongiygas said:
Also, who in their right minds would take time out of their day to help some jobless sap with their okcupid profile? Kim's kind of nuts I guess.
Click to expand...

I agree, Kim is seemingly very involved with Chris' day to day life if she is giving him help with his OKCupid account. Did it not occur to her that Chris is not fit for dating anybody, and entertaining the notion is a waste of time that will just get Chris' hopes up before they crash back down again? Is she really stupid enough to think Chris is going to find love despite being averse to effort? Save your time and energy, Kim, and just become the fuckmommy you're trying to help him find, because you're both wasting your time looking on a dating site.
 
How do we know that Kim does anything beyond stringing him along and staying in his good graces?
 
Christ-Chan said:
Actually, I'd say it's surprising how he is very picky, according to his answers. Of course, what Chris practices and what he preaches are very different, but he went out of his way to put up hurdles for any sweet-heart to be (like his insistence on GUARANTEED ass-to-mouth from his sweetheart - NO HAGGLE).

EDIT: Look at the match rating for my old profile for example:
Click to expand...

OKCupid lets you choose how important a question is, in terms of the other person answering the way you want them to. There are 3 options very, somewhat, and slightly. There is a big difference in terms of how each one affects your match percentage, but all three list "acceptable" and "unacceptable" answers. My point is, I don't know what importance he attached to anilingus, he may not have said NO HAGGLE, it may have been slightly important.

An' anurr thing, anilingus is a big word. I am not at all willing to assume Chris interpreted it correctly.

Also, Chris is a 40% match for me (the fact that we are both "straight" "males" shouldn't really affect this). This comforts me. Could be my smoking habit that is preventing our love, I am pretty insistent that "matches" be ok with it.
 
timtommy said:
OKCupid lets you choose how important a question is, in terms of the other person answering the way you want them to. There are 3 options very, somewhat, and slightly. There is a big difference in terms of how each one affects your match percentage, but all three list "acceptable" and "unacceptable" answers. My point is, I don't know what importance he attached to anilingus, he may not have said NO HAGGLE, it may have been slightly important.

An' anurr thing, anilingus is a big word. I am not at all willing to assume Chris interpreted it correctly.

Also, Chris is a 40% match for me (the fact that we are both "straight" "males" shouldn't really affect this). This comforts me. Could be my smoking habit that is preventing our love, I am pretty insistent that "matches" be ok with it.
Click to expand...
I hadn't been on the site in a while and I looked it up and you are absolutely correct. When I filled it out it was a yes or no quesstiom but now it looks like this:
KhMRTv4.png
 
Christ-Chan said:
I hadn't been on the site in a while and I looked it up and you are absolutely correct. When I filled it out it was a yes or no quesstiom but now it looks like this:
Click to expand...

Thanks for grabbing that to illustrate my point. To further elucidate, all questions automatically have an "any of the above" option in the "answers you'll accept" part. If you select this, the importance section goes away, and the site tells you you are listing the question as "irrelevant". If you do this, someone else's answer to that question has no effect on your match percentage.

I recall reading somewhere that the difference between the importance categories is orders of magnitude. Something like somewhat is weighted like 10 "a little"s and very is weighted like 100 "a little's". Basically, if you have a few very important questions, all of your somewhat importants and a little importants are irrelevant.

As I said before, in Chris' defense for some of his weirder accepted answers, he may have listed them as "a little important". It is also possible that his bizarre completionist approach led him to not want to answer "any of the above".

On the other hand, the detail about the small weighting to not "very important" questions is not readily available on the site. It is likely that most people, including Chris, don't mean their acceptable answers to be irrelevant if they list them as somewhat or a little important.+

I am curious whether other forumers who use OKCupid find the match percentage calculated from these questions useful? Personally, I do. It seems to me that when a girl is a 90%+ match there is a good chance I am interested, and if we are less than 70% there is no chance, but perhaps I am just falling for their propaganda.
 
Christ-Chan said:
I hadn't been on the site in a while and I looked it up and you are absolutely correct. When I filled it out it was a yes or no quesstiom but now it looks like this:
KhMRTv4.png
Click to expand...

It's been awhile since I had an OKC account, but I think you can also select multiple answers you'd be willing to accept in a partner. But I think that if you do, the importance of each answer is reduced.

I know people who worked the whole system to get higher match percentages with people they were trying to hook up with--which I guess is fine if you're just looking for some strange china...

EDIT: Duh, it says "Answer(s) you'll accept" so I guess I was stating the obvious.
 
DeadMansHand said:
It's been awhile since I had an OKC account, but I think you can also select multiple answers you'd be willing to accept in a partner. But I think that if you do, the importance of each answer is reduced.

I know people who worked the whole system to get higher match percentages with people they were trying to hook up with--which I guess is fine if you're just looking for some strange china...

EDIT: Duh, it says "Answer(s) you'll accept" so I guess I was stating the obvious.
Click to expand...

It doesn't reduce the importance if you select multiple answers. Suppose there was a question that said "Would you date someone who was a tomirl?" And the answers were "Yes", "No", and "Only if he was overweight and lived with his mother" Chris could select this question as very important, which means that a girl who answered the way he wanted would increase her match percentage, and a girl who answered the way he didn't want would lower her match percentage. He could either pick one answer which raises and two answers which lower, or two answers which raise and one answer which lowers.
 
OBAMATRON said:
Cherry red chapstick? Why is her lipstick rubbed off in places?
Click to expand...
In my con experience, the professional/planned photo ops don't take place in front of doors or while the celeb is carrying her purse around. I'm guessing her make-up is partly rubbed off because she was returning from lunch/leaving at the end of the day when Chris caught up and asked for a picture.

Even his smile in that picture looks kind of like he's in pain. It may just be that Chris doesn't find smiling to be second nature because of the 'tism, or he might have gone with =| expressions for his profile because he wants to be seen as cool and stoic.
 
Fatty just doesn't photograph well, I haven't seen a photo of him that looks " normal".

Could be his weird body posture and facial expressions which for once I would blame on his condition.

Er his autism not his stupidity. Just to clarify.
 
I think there might be a very slim chance for him to get a date if he said on his profile that he is famous on youtube and would be willing to do a show with a future galpal, sure they'd likely be shallow and immature to go on a date with Chris for this reason but it's literally the only thing I can think of which Chris has going for him dating wise. (No idea how he'd screen for trolls though.)
 
4Macie said:
Chris wanted Kim to filter out trolls for him; that's all she's doing.

As a side rant: I'm reading through these questions (kinda...more like skimming) and I've noticed one that pisses me off. The question is: Which is the worst characteristic to have. The choices are only Laziness or Greed. Chris picks Laziness but then says the ONLY answer he'll accept is Greed. There's another one about "If, before the wedding, you found out that your significant other was found to be sterile; meaning you could never have kids, which would you do?" The choices vary from "Still get married, adopt later", "Get married, don't adopt", "Not get married", and "Get married and celebrate". Chris's answer is "Get married, don't adopt" and he outright refuses "Get married, adopt". Like why the fuck? I know he wants Chrystal; but I didn't realize it was Chrystal or bust with him.

EDIT: omg or better yet: (best one yet IMO)
Would you consider performing anilingus on a partner who asked you to?

16859411088605615011.jpeg
Yes.

He won't take "No" as an answer....
Click to expand...


Stop the fucking presses. Back up the fun bus.

On top of a myriad of other issues that will prevent Chris from ever, EVER finding a partner...

...he expects you to lick his dirty asshole if he wants, and will not take "No" for an answer.

This needs to be a press releases. Christian Weston Chandler won't take no for an answer if he wants you to lick his unwashed ass. IT'S HIS QUEST FOR PURE, SWEET, TRUE LOVE.
 
Status
Not open for further replies.
Back
Top Bottom