Disaster ‘Velma’ Is So Bad It's Spawned Psyop Conspiracy Theories

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‘Velma’ Is So Bad It's Spawned Psyop Conspiracy Theories​

Paul Tassi
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News and opinion about video games, television, movies and the internet.
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Jan 14, 2023, 10:20am EST
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velma

Velma
HBO MAX
Yesterday, HBO Max bragged that Velma, the new adult-rated Scooby Doo cartoon, was its most-viewed animated premiere ever. I’m not sure precisely what that says, given that the only other Max original animated series I can even think of is Harley Quinn, plus a bunch of other older series that WB Discovery recently murdered.


But people are certainly talking about Velma, that much is true. Just…not very positively. Velma currently has the lowest audience score I’ve seen for an HBO or HBO Max production, a 7%. To get that low requires not just “review bombing” but your show also likely has to be…genuinely bad.

And it is. Velma is very, very bad.

Velma is so bad in fact, that it’s spawning conspiracy theories that creator Mindy Kaling made what is essentially a parody of what the right wing thinks left wing comedy is like. As in, a show that not just recast most roles with new races, but also features loads and loads of “white guys, amiright?” jokes. The idea is that Kaling is a secretly conservative force in media trying to make the left look bad by making a cringey adult cartoon full of “this rich white guy has a small dong” jokes that the right can point at as everything wrong with race-recasted, social justice-influenced media.


I do not want to go down a big rabbit hole about Mindy Kaling’s personal beliefs and influences here. And yet if that wasn’t the intent of the show, it sure feels like it in practice. On one side, it absolutely is working to spark mockery from the right, exactly as you might imagine it would. But on the other, it’s just not defensible at all by those who would normally welcome a progressive series.


Take She-Hulk for example. That was a hugely controversial show where it was very explicit about roasting misogynistic comic fans, perhaps often lacking in subtlety. But I would still very much defend that show, as I think its humor and fourth-wall breaking works, and most of the people who were upset about it are the very people that it’s overtly making fun of…for being upset about it.

Velma is not that. Velma is not defensible by any stretch of the imagination. It’s just bad. Making progressive jokes is fine so long as the jokes are good. They are not good. I heard the show described somewhere as a series written by TV writers who only ever talk to other TV writers. That’s a pretty good summary. And the idea here is that it’s so, so bad at landing its jabs at right wingers that it almost feels like self-sabotage.

There is a world in which this concept might have worked. I can see an “adult” Scooby Doo series where you have an overlooked Velma attempting to claw back credit from a privileged Fred, the “leader” of the gang. And yet here it’s not just jabbing at Fred for being an overconfident white dude, it’s literally “he’s such a whiny white man baby that his mommy cuts his steak and he hasn’t finished puberty so he has a small penis.” Like just…no remote hint of subtlety or nuance or anything that could make the progressive humor work.
An easy counter-example to turn to is the R-rated Harley Quinn series, also on HBO Max, which still feels true to the characters it focuses on, is full of left-leaning messaging on misogyny an LGBTQ issues, but importantly…is funny and compelling. I mean, this show recently did a full bit about the Joker running for mayor as a progressive socialist and it worked.
Velma? I don’t know what Velma is doing. I’m not sure I subscribe to this “Mindy Kaling made a dogwhistle series for right wing trolls” theory, as the Occam’s Razor explanation is that the show is just…bad. The jokes are…bad. That’s really it.
I may continue watching out of morbid fascination, but man, this is truly one of the most bizarre things I’ve ever seen.
 
She was already hated by Indians since the Diwali episode on The Office. This just made her more loathesome. Hell, one of my closest homies is an Indian guy, (I'm talking full-blown, bonafide pajeet from the India, none of that Indo-American NRI (Non-Resident Indian) shit), & he hates her since long ago, just because she looks ugly, then he watched her on video & hated her even more because he had to see her in motion & hear her voice. His friends also hated her, including some of his girl-friends who also surprisingly just found her unpleasant & irritating.

Mind you, Mindy Kaling looks the way she does now after lots of bleaching, & that she looked even worse before.


Apu thing only had some American-born South Indian "comedian" bitching about it for clout, alongside some self-loathing Indo-Americans (aka 90% Indians Predditors) supporting it. No actual Indian gave a shit, in fact they had a Speedy Gonzales tier seethe over it.
I was just about to post something with regards to this. She is a self-hater. I'm not throwing that term around haphazardly like how liberals do to black conservatives; she legitimately deep-down inside hates that she's Indian and really wants to be white.

You can just look at not only her personal life, but also her works; she basically talks down or degrades non-Whites for the benefit on whites and oriental Asians. Velma for example, as much shit-talking as she does to Freddie, she wants that white blond dick up her ass. She doesn't want Norville's, though, regardless of how much of a simp he is in the show.

ENDYMIONtv just did a pretty interesting video on this.

 
If this trend is to continue we're going to get reboots in 10-20 years of things like "Amazing World of Gumball" where it's just Gumball and Darwin running a human trafficking operation, or "Aquateen Hunger Force" where Shake, Frylock, and Meatwad and all pozzed up on dozens of stds and go around having unprotected sex with hundreds of different people for the lulz of giving them those diseases.

It'll probably be something like Care bears except they're teaching children to be sex positive. Hopefully this trend like all trends eventually fades out
Honestly, that depends on the suits running shit. Once diversity quotas stop selling and once true believers stop greenlighting, maybe the industry will be in better shape.
Apu thing only had some American-born South Indian "comedian" bitching about it for clout, alongside some self-loathing Indo-Americans (aka 90% Indians Predditors) supporting it. No actual Indian gave a shit, in fact they had a Speedy Gonzales tier seethe over it.
Funny enough, that was in 2017.
 
"It was meant to be bad, guys"

View attachment 4294114

A good chunk of good shows died while this thing lived on. And now they dare say that it was meant to be bad.

HBO Max deserves to burn for this

I'm very much expecting at least one scribbler tripping over themselves to defend Velma in this fashion.

Netflix Bebop Cope.png

(archive, if you actually want to read this garbage)
 
I'm very much expecting at least one scribbler tripping over themselves to defend Velma in this fashion.

View attachment 4295547
(archive, if you actually want to read this garbage)


I legit want to ask these people

"Fine, it was meant to be bad. Does that suddenly change the fact that it isnt a bad product then? Its like saying to my teacher that my test was suppose to get an F. What, am I suppose to expect my teacher to nod at my genius and give me an A?"

Its coping/denial of the highest kind when you try to recontextualize a clear failure as a victory.

Its like getting your ass kicked by someone you were bullying and then you get up, spit a tooth and say you intended to lose, like that suddenly changes the fact you got your ass kicked.
 
"Fine, it was meant to be bad. Does that suddenly change the fact that it isnt a bad product then? Its like saying to my teacher that my test was suppose to get an F. What, am I suppose to expect my teacher to nod at my genius and give me an A?"
"haha, i'm so smart, i wasted everyone's time because i loathe myself"
gg, i guess?
 
View attachment 4289821
Imagine spawning a show so bad that even the pajeets hate you instead of gulping it down.
This has nothing to do with her being the ugliest of self hating pajeets, she's a terrible, pretentious person. This was true way before Velma. It will be true long after. The office was a stupid show that conditioned a bunch of talentless unattractive nobodies to believe their farts are million dollar brainstorms. The likes of Chris Pratt, Amy Adams and so many more.
 
Honestly, that depends on the suits running shit. Once diversity quotas stop selling and once true believers stop greenlighting, maybe the industry will be in better shape.
Or they will triple and double down. And try to make up their profit loss internationally as they've been. I agree that this trend isn't profitable. It never has been and I don't think it's ever been about profit. I know this analogy has been used before, however, referring to them as the church of latter day wokeness fits. These people are truly no different than the religious zealots of yesteryear. Instead of banning alcohol and other vices. Now they're trying to morally police people through their own distorted lens. Do I think this trend will last? Probably not, but it has infected several generations across the world. It's going to take a long time before things heal.
 
Like "Santa, Inc." before it, this show is the perfect example of "non-medy."

Besides being just not funny, the "jokes" also come in a constant barrage, one after the other, without giving you any time to process them. As if the writers are just throwing every single thing at the audience in the desperate hope that something will land.
 
Besides being just not funny, the "jokes" also come in a constant barrage, one after the other, without giving you any time to process them. As if the writers are just throwing every single thing at the audience in the desperate hope that something will land.

Its by ADHD riddled morons for ADHD simpletons
 
Not since Cuties have I seen the internet come together in agreeance like this. Cuties was morally reprehensible. Velma shit all over a beloved IP that's been going strong for over half a century. There has been some iteration of it for every internet-dwelling generation. What I find interesting is that HBO Max has a kids' show called Scooby-Doo! And The Mystery Pups scheduled to premier in 2024. Scooby-Doo has a reputation of being family-friendly. I'd be curious as to how many kids find themselves stumbling upon Velma or clueless parents see a Scooby-doo show and let their kids watch it because, again, the IP is historically family-friendly.

I get race-swapping characters in live action media if, say, the actor who best fits a director's vision just happens to be of another race. Laurence Fishburne was a perfect fit for Jack Crawford in Brian Fuller's Hannibal. In animation, race-swapping is a conscious decision. Character don't need to be the same race as their voice actors. The OG Shaggy, Kasey Kasem, wasn't white. He was middle eastern. His parents were Lebanese immigrants. Shaggy was a caricature of white hippy culture contemporary to the original show.
 
That expression right there should trigger the Uncanny Valley Fight or Flight if it's aimed at you.

That's the kind of expression that's the last thing a serial killer's victim sees.

Holy shit, this is horrible.

You know, last night I watched the Supernatural/Scooby Doo crossover, and I have to say, it was done a LOT better than anything I've seen out of Velma.

"I'll get the shotgun!"
"I'LL GET TWO SHOTGUNS!"
"KILL IT WITH FIRE!"

There was no mean-spiritedness. The jokes were on the three Supernatural characters. They kept true to the Scooby characters pretty well.

Then we get the fucking above picture.
 
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