Trainwreck Veronica Gallardo / Veronicaandjelly / Beeronica - Social chameleon, skinwalker, serial cheater

[Balanced Boomer]

I think I hate this because it comes off like some soy nigger's reimagining of what his high school life was like.

 

[SaltyFanta]

Animation wise, I liked the character designs but they even then they looked unoriginal.

It's obvious he's chasing the style of Butch Hartman, which I think it a bad idea for him, this is his time to shine, he can do whatever he wants, he should do something that's atleast a rip-off of multiple different things together and not just Butch Hartman.

 

[xXWild_DripXx]

Watching paint dry is a more entertaining experience than his slop of an animation.

 

[Freelance Police]

The writing is really boring and slow and I wanted to stop watching the second I heard the stupid fucking metal pipe falling sound effect. Might as well have put a fucking Discord notification sound if you wanted to break peoples attention to your cartoon that badly.

Also I'm really not a fan at the bold outlines the characters have, I get that it's probably drawing inspiration from Fairly Odd Parents but the animators clearly don't understand why it worked as well as it did in that show. Pretty much everything in Fairly Odd Parents had bold outlines, but the backgrounds were simpler and less busy, and the outlines on objects and other less important aspects of a scene used more faded colors so as not to detract from the more important aspects of the scene like characters or significant objects, usually indicated by bolder colored outlines. Characters were able to stand out well enough without feeling completely isolated from the world around them.


Fairly Odd Parents was also very smart with colors when it came to busier settings, again using more faded colors to contrast with the main characters more vibrant colors, which still allowed them to stand out well enough despite the busier scene.


Now compare this to Catching Up.

The objects in the background do not have thick outlines like the characters do, they're much thinner and sometimes non-existent. The background is also far busier in general and the vibrant colors draw too much attention. Their solution to this was to give the characters huge bold outlines, but the result of doing this is that the characters no longer feel like they're apart of the environment they're in. They stand out so much to the point where they can no longer communicate depth properly, these two are supposed to be leaning on the chair and the kiosk, but they stand out so much that it looks like they're leaning on nothing because the background looks farther away than it's supposed to be.


This is compacted even further with the characters being as simple and vibrant as they are. Fairly Odd Parents also used vibrant colors for their characters, but there was a consistent artstyle that kept things together. Simple, boldly drawn scenes with vibrant and faded colors to distinguish between important elements. Catching Up uses bold, simply drawn characters against a softer, more detailed background with dynamic lighting. Neither are bad on their own, but they conflict heavily when thrown together, the main characters genuinely look like they were photoshopped in and don't feel like they're apart of the world.

 

[TokiBun]

A big problem I have is the backgrounds are way too detailed compared to the characters. I just want to look at that and not the boring wolf and mouse.

 

[Polentic]

Another issue I have noticed is the characterization and how the characters look vs how they act. Mainly the main guy. Maybe this is nitpicky but I don't think I'm going crazy. He's supposed to be a cynical asshole, I get it. But he didn't look that way for a little which threw me off a bit.

Here is the douche I know him as, and he remains this way the whole time except for the girl who likes him scene.

In these scenes it's like he's a different person, I can't explain it. He looks kind of cutesy? But his voice does not match that, it felt like there was a redemption until that scene ended. Why was he even sad in that scene???

Also I fucking hate the youtube ass animation for the mouse. It's pretty inconsistent.

4 different animation styles in 2 frames/scenes.

 

[StMaryPiper]

Some of the background characters are far better than the main cast. Show would’ve had a better success rate using one of them. Look at these two. Derpy looking gremlin character and goth/punk looking 2000s chick. Two archetypes the internet eats up

 

[Gog & Magog]

It's out, I can't archive right now but here.

Who is the intended audience for this crap?

 

[garbanzobean]

Who is the intended audience for this crap?

Mark

 

[Namekian George Floyd]

It's out, I can't archive right now but here.

I have no idea who this is even for and doubt anyone who isn't already an LSMark fan or hater will finish it.
Every time there's a curse word or any adult subject matter, it isn't funny, it's just uncanny because of how much this feels like a children's show. The whole time I felt like something was coming to pull everything together and make it clear what the show was actually doing and why it felt so awkward but that never came so you're just stuck with this thing that exists in limbo with no clear direction or identity of it's own. I'll shit on Vivziepop's every work but at least it actually makes me feel something even if it's a feeling of pure cringe and how she needs to inject romance and musicals into everything is insufferable but at least she's not directionless and knows exactly what she wants. This shit just seems like Mark wanted to make an animated show but the desire stops there and he could not grasp what exactly he wanted it to be so he just made something as generic as possible based on everything he's seen thus far.

I think the best outcome to this being created is Butch Hartman catching wind of it, knows Mark is the guy who shits on him nonstop and streams himself watching it and tearing it apart.

 

[The Purple Ghost]

They do say that you should make something that you wanna watch...
But at the same time you gotta realise how un-marketable this is. The demographic that would watch and enjoy this isn't too many.

And yeah, not funny - very predictable - inconsistent. But I dunno it has a bit of charm to it at least.
Though setting your pilot of a highschool comedy/drama in an adults club, but it is for kids is just flat out retarded.
Better shows would have an episode like that in like episode 6 or something

 

[Vibralldo]

The show clearly originally had the 2 leads as adults going to an actual club, but Mark decided to make them into underaged high school kids going to kid's club night at the rec center at some point.

The main questions I have are when and why did he make such a baffling decision that completely wrecks the episode's premise?

Either it was a retarded last second choice to make them kids and he already had too many of the club backgrounds done to change it, or he made the change early on and just liked the idea of a kid nightclub enough to keep it

Did he think it'd help him connect with his target demo more to put them in high school?

Why is the series called Catching Up? Someone on 4chan theorized that originally the 2 leads were friends in high school, now in their 20s "Catching Up" after drifting apart. If this is true, why change the premise and not the title it's based on too?

 

[Balanced Boomer]

The show clearly originally had the 2 leads as adults going to an actual club, but Mark decided to make them into underaged high school kids going to kid's club night at the rec center at some point.

Man, I was thinking the same thing. The only reason I could see for the school stuff was to insert a bully tripping that one guy in front of the lockers. The part where the two chicks give the other guy their coats could have just as well happened in the club rather than on the bus. Also, why'd they need to pay $20 to get on the school bus anyway, but then they're allowed inside the club/community center without having to pay a cover charge? Tiny shit like this stuff doesn't do the pilot any favors at all.

Edit: The only reason I can think of outside of your reasoning for the show being called "Catching Up" is possibly it's referring to the two main characters being socially retarded and trying to catch up to everyone else's level. I think I might be reaching there.

 

[Oliver Onions]

My advice to fix the pilot: make it a minute long, when the main character trips and gets bullied, after the mouse says 'don't forget about tonight. You know, the thing?' have a Spongebob 'Three Hours Later' card then cut to an exterior shot of the nightclub with screams and gunfire and fade to black.

ETA: I present my proof-of-concept.

 

[Probably An Autist]

ok i don't really watch cartoons cos they're gay but i watched this. It was better than I anticipated, but only cos I expected it to be absolute dog shit. It was just... mediocre. so heres my totally fair criticism,

I hate the main guys design, its ugly and has no defining features other than a shit hat. his nose pisses me off as its not centered. everyone's a furry. The background art is aight and the quality in general is fine,but the animation is stiff and it need a *lot* of polish.
As for the story it was a snoozefest, the general vibe is weird as it opened up as a show that felt like it was for 8 year olds, then it tried to switch to something a bit more edgy for adults and it falls flat. As it stands it doesn't have an audience, its too juvenile for adults and the swearing/adult themes make it unsuitable for kids TV.
The voice acting was OK. surprised they got anyone of note (Charlie from Smiling Friends for example) but I guess money is money.

 

[Vibralldo]

I also hated the obvious self insert main characters. The cartoon feels like Mark is whining that people were mean to him in high school and that we should feel bad for him.

 

[White Girl]

I feel no passion was put into this and it has zero personality. If this didn’t have clout attached to this and was made by a literal nobody it wouldn’t have hardly any views. There’s so many shows and anime similar to this and the first one that comes to mind is Zatch Bell. I don’t watch a lot of Mark’s videos but he isn’t charismatic whatsoever and sounds fucking retarded. He needs less yes men and more people who actually challenge him. Crazy enough I think Pan Pizza’s pilot will be more entertaining visually and possibly with writing (though that’s iffy). Pan got legit criticism from Genndy of all people and hopefully uses it.

 

[dick brain]

It's out, I can't archive right now but here.

I'm a tourist and not going to watch it or even read the thread but I was taken aback at how bad these character designs are in the thumbnail/poster. Neither character has eyebrows or shaped eyes to indicate what they're feeling, but they both have some incidental detail that makes it look like they do: the dog(?)'s weird hairline takes the place of eyebrows and makes him look angry, and the shadow from the mouse's hat makes him look angry or fired up when I'm pretty sure that's not the intention in either case.

Then I checked the thread and realized the characters aren't actually drawn like that, it's just a (comparatively) hyper detailed OneyPlays style clickbait thumbnail and the show looks totally different.

So I skimmed the thread for actual screenshots to figure out if that's the case, how non-neutral expressions are conveyed, i.e. if there are drawn eyebrows, if that hairline takes the place of eyebrows, if the eyes themselves change shape, and the answer is yes. All three of those things happen interchangeably. It's a mess. Or in other words,

In these scenes it's like he's a different person, I can't explain it.

Pass.

 

[garbanzobean]

I feel no passion was put into this and it has zero personality.

That's because there WAS no passion put into it. Mark wanted to make a cartoon just for bragging rights. He states it in a podcast ep he only wants to do it just to say he made a cartoon

 

[SaltyFanta]

The show clearly originally had the 2 leads as adults going to an actual club, but Mark decided to make them into underaged high school kids going to kid's club night at the rec center at some point.

It's such a bizarre decision. Having child characters for an adult show is risky, because adults don't relate to kids. Show's that do this, do it deliberately, like Home Movies, which I mentioned earlier, uses child characters to tell stories that feed off of childhood nostalgia. It screams to poor writing, with incongruent concepts seemingly only because they don't want to throw away an idea.

He needs less yes men and more people who actually challenge him.

He unironically needs someone to play the role of himself, and criticize his own work. He needs to get into his critic brain and practice self-critique it's an incredibly valuable skill.

Mark wanted to make a cartoon just for bragging rights. He states it in a podcast ep he only wants to do it just to say he made a cartoon

I completely feel the same feeling. I was sat there asking myself, why is this 20 minutes long? It doesn't feel like it benefits from being 20 minutes long. The use of pilot and the 20 minute length makes it seem like they're going to shop with networks to get this on TV, but in that case why spend 3 years making a single episode. In animation especially these kind of pitch tests need to be quickly done, they need to be a little disposable, they probably will end up thrown away.

With those facts in mind, and the fact he just posted it to Youtube it makes it seem like it's going to be a YouTube show, which is a good idea, no network to hold you back. But in that case why is it 20 minutes, it doesn't feel like it's built for 20 minutes. I get the impression that he just wanted to larp as Butch Hartman. Which is kind of an autistic mindset to have, you need to embrace changes to the medium, they can be very beneficial. This would probably be received much better if it was a 5 minute short, instead of a 20 minute fake tv episode.