[12/7/2011 4:49:25] Dustin Wyatt (Tweaker): When I was 8, a friend of mine crawled into my bed, naked, at night, and kept pressuring me to do sexual stuff with him. I eventually did it but I wasn't as into it as I could have been. We touched dicks a bit, he tried to stick it in my butt (and had me do the same); it didn't work out very well. I also licked his dick at some point, which was a bit weird because it didn't taste like anything. I remember being annoyed but it's because I was sleepy and he kept bothering me. Sonic Underground was on the TV at the time. True story.
I ended up meeting him years later once I moved back to Florida. He seems to be like, completely straight or whatever now, but I don't know for sure. His name was David; he was one of my best friends when I was a kid and he was my mom's best friends' son. I think he tried to talk to me and hang out with me more once we reunited, but I was a little too shy and more than a little awkward to try talking to him again because A) I'm pretty socially awkward with people I don't think I have anything in common with and B) I couldn't get out of my head what had happened, nor the fact that it was so casually approached when it happened (and nobody had ever spoken about it again; not out of shame, or anything, but because it just wasn't a big deal).
I never did try and confront him about it. I remember hearing at the time he'd done the same thing with girls in the neighborhood. The whole experience is the whole reason I'm into this stuff, though; I never had any other tangible sexual experiences to guide me as a child and my interest in women--the interest expected of me--was never terribly high. I think my only understanding of sex in terms of how my body reacts to it was defined by that experience, much like how that kid's sexual interests were defined from getting molested. It's not necessarily bad, I guess, but it's definitely a thing.
[12/7/2011 4:51:44] Dustin Wyatt (Tweaker): Another best friend of mine, Mike, when I moved to New York, also kind of did stuff with me. We didn't touch; he just jerked off in front of me a couple of times (he had a HUGE dick for his age. We were both 10) and encouraged me to do the same. I was always too shy, to whip it out in front of him, but he had this little vibrator (like, the mini kind, I guess you'd normally use it on a clit) that he told me to stick under my dick to get a boner. I don't think I understood most of the terms he was using, but it felt really good; sometimes I would go to his house, play Sonic 1 in debug mode just placing objects for shits and giggles while placing the vibrator under my dick. I loved the way it felt and even though I never really did anything else with it, that was enough for me to enjoy it.
[12/7/2011 4:52:02] Dustin Wyatt (Tweaker): I think after all that you're the only other person I've done anything with beyond touching.
[12/7/2011 4:53:20] Dustin Wyatt (Tweaker): I've read more than one xchan message board and the whole thing seems to fairly common. I'm extremely envious of all the people who ended up going further. I really don't know how to handle actual sexual experiences; I think it's why I can only do it when I'm drunk and why I've never tried anything beyond foreplay
[12/7/2011 4:54:10] Dustin Wyatt (Tweaker): It's this huge intimidating thing that I've never been able to properly approach or go through with, just because there's so many factors involved that it makes me just completely freak out
[12/7/2011 4:54:24] Dustin Wyatt (Tweaker): I freeze up and just, can't do anything
[12/7/2011 4:54:35] Dustin Wyatt (Tweaker): Not because I don't want it, but because I can't handle it
[12/7/2011 4:55:54] Dustin Wyatt (Tweaker): The other thing I think is, like
[12/7/2011 4:57:47] Dustin Wyatt (Tweaker): I only see my practical understanding of sex--like, my mind, not my intellectual capacity--equivalent to myself at that time during that experience. I think that's why nothing beyond that tends to appeal to me; my introduction to sex was through that age group, body type and appeal, so only things resembling that seem to actually appeal to me. It's not really out of choice; it's just kind of how things have worked out
[12/7/2011 4:58:20] Dustin Wyatt (Tweaker): Even when I was 13 I was really interested in looking at those like, websites with pictures of naturist boys (like, the nudist kids and stuff)
[12/7/2011 4:58:32] Dustin Wyatt (Tweaker): I was drawn to them and couldn't really fathom why. It didn't feel wrong or anything though
[12/7/2011 4:59:19] Dustin Wyatt (Tweaker): There's another thing I'm super into that I've only told like, one person about, and it's for a super awful reason that I'm sure you'll find hilarious
[12/7/2011 4:59:44] Dustin Wyatt (Tweaker): Okay, well you'll know where this is going by the way I start it
[12/7/2011 5:00:03] Dustin Wyatt (Tweaker): Do you remember that episode of South Park where Cartman jerks off the dog
[12/7/2011 5:00:11] Dustin Wyatt (Tweaker): Yes.
[12/7/2011 5:01:30] Dustin Wyatt (Tweaker): Well, I was 12 and I tried it. And since I had no developed sexual interest in anything else at that point... well, yeah. Now I kind of want to get fucked by a dog (or vice-versa, I'm not particularly picky about it). Only seems to be dogs, though. It's kind of annoying because I really, really hate dogs; they're annoying, they smell like shit and I find their behavior obnoxious
[12/7/2011 5:01:59] Dustin Wyatt (Tweaker): I don't expect you to sympathize on this one haha
[12/7/2011 5:02:06] Dustin Wyatt (Tweaker): But that's why I never tell anyone
[12/7/2011 5:02:51] Dustin Wyatt (Tweaker): That is only somewhat informative
[12/7/2011 5:03:41] Dustin Wyatt (Tweaker): I normally get super hard when I talk about this kind of stuff. It's actually a bit weird that I'm not right now. I blame the ridiculous amount of soda I drank today (like 60oz of barq's root beer. apparently it has bite)
[12/7/2011 5:03:56] Dustin Wyatt (Tweaker): I have some more stories that will like, never leave my mind
[12/7/2011 5:04:09] Dustin Wyatt (Tweaker): but I don't know, maybe I can tell you. somehow I don't expect you'll ever try and use this against me
[12/7/2011 5:04:55] Dustin Wyatt (Tweaker): dude, go for it
[12/7/2011 5:05:17] Dustin Wyatt (Tweaker): I always did really like you, you know. It just bugged me that I know next to nothing about you because you're under total lock and key
[12/7/2011 5:05:39] Dustin Wyatt (Tweaker): That one night where you totally opened up to me is something I'll never forget
[12/7/2011 5:05:55] Dustin Wyatt (Tweaker): Because I felt amazing and totally crushed at the same time, when the next morning you just completely retconned it
[12/7/2011 5:06:13] Dustin Wyatt (Tweaker): Yeah, I do too.
[12/7/2011 5:07:17] Dustin Wyatt (Tweaker): That's actually a pretty good way of looking at it. I don't think he really hates you, though
[12/7/2011 5:07:46] Dustin Wyatt (Tweaker): He's just... kind of the same way, I guess? And that usually doesn't mold well
[12/7/2011 5:07:49] Dustin Wyatt (Tweaker): tell you what.
[12/7/2011 5:08:00] Dustin Wyatt (Tweaker): for every thing you tell me, I'll try and tell you something else.
[12/7/2011 5:08:15] Dustin Wyatt (Tweaker): I know what it's like to have some dark shit I can never tell anyone about, believe me
[12/7/2011 5:22:53] Dustin Wyatt (Tweaker): wow shit
[12/7/2011 5:23:02] Dustin Wyatt (Tweaker): God I really fucking hate parents like that
[12/7/2011 5:23:11] Dustin Wyatt (Tweaker): People don't realize how the shit they say resonates in kids
[12/7/2011 5:12:35] Dustin Wyatt (Tweaker): Well no, it's not really smart. Parents try and shield their kids from sex so much that they can never interpret it properly and sort of fill in the blanks themselves with what they HAVE experienced and what they DO understand. It ends up being pretty fucking abnormal as a result
[12/7/2011 5:25:28] Dustin Wyatt (Tweaker): Hah, I was in that too
[12/7/2011 5:25:36] Dustin Wyatt (Tweaker): never made it past webelo or however you say it
[12/7/2011 5:26:38] Dustin Wyatt (Tweaker): hah, speaking of
[12/7/2011 5:28:35] Dustin Wyatt (Tweaker): I went on a camping trip for cub scouts once. It was that... uh, jubilee I guess it was called? It was over the weekend and they had cabins and stuff we stayed in. One of my friends (who was fucking weird, I don't remember his name anymore) was in the same room as me. When he was sleeping (or I thought he was sleeping, anyway) I ended up jerking off under the covers in the same room. I assumed he was asleep but he ended up telling everyone about it the next day. I just denied it and acted like he was a retard spreading stupid rumors, which worked because that's normally the kind of shit he did. He was weird as hell; he'd shove his hand in his pants and then try and put it in my face. Nasty little dude.
[12/7/2011 5:28:41] Dustin Wyatt (Tweaker): It was cool though, he had Sonic Adventure DX
[12/7/2011 5:29:27 | Edited 5:29:37] Dustin Wyatt (Tweaker): yeah, I always hear all these boy scout stories and shit but I was never so fortunate
[12/7/2011 5:29:58] Dustin Wyatt (Tweaker): I think I was still at the age where I sort of expected that stuff to happen. I probably wouldn't have minded
[12/7/2011 5:30:45] Dustin Wyatt (Tweaker): denying that kind of stuff is easy. it probably wouldn't have been hard
[12/7/2011 5:32:07] Dustin Wyatt (Tweaker): same
[12/7/2011 5:32:11] Dustin Wyatt (Tweaker): well, when I had a lock anyway
[12/7/2011 5:32:14] Dustin Wyatt (Tweaker): now I don't
[12/7/2011 5:32:44] Dustin Wyatt (Tweaker): I'm lucky to be around people who are equally paranoid about privacy
[12/7/2011 5:32:52] Dustin Wyatt (Tweaker): or that's how I percieve it, anyway
[12/7/2011 5:33:23] Dustin Wyatt (Tweaker): cause, like... I don't even hide my CP. It's very, very easy to get to. I don't know why I don't put more effort into concealing it.. it's just kind of there
[12/7/2011 5:34:13] Dustin Wyatt (Tweaker): it's understandable, at least. I don't know how anyone would react about hearing this shit
[12/7/2011 5:34:31] Dustin Wyatt (Tweaker): other than Spex, he technically already knows. I'm under the impression he has never told a soul, but I think he also thinks I've kicked the stuff
[12/7/2011 5:34:40] Dustin Wyatt (Tweaker): and I've tried to a few times. almost did. theeeeen I discovered tor
[12/7/2011 5:34:50] Dustin Wyatt (Tweaker): kind of been fucked since then
[12/7/2011 5:35:27] Dustin Wyatt (Tweaker): it's... a problem, honestly, because I don't know with any certainty that I can trust myself to keep it to just that. I really don't
[12/7/2011 5:36:24] Dustin Wyatt (Tweaker): I think if I had the opportunity to fuck a child and get away with it, I would do it. no questions asked. but I'd have to know that certainty existed.. wow, I can't believe I just said that
[12/7/2011 5:37:25] Dustin Wyatt (Tweaker): I have time
[12/7/2011 5:47:34] Dustin Wyatt (Tweaker): UGH, fucking seniors
[12/7/2011 5:48:45] Dustin Wyatt (Tweaker): I'm sure 99% of social issues in high school and kids getting bullied are results of stuff like this--bigots making neutral kids who want to fit in and not get beat up be assholes or otherwise mistreat the kids who aren't popular or whatever
[12/7/2011 5:52:04] Dustin Wyatt (Tweaker): goddamn
[12/7/2011 5:52:22] Dustin Wyatt (Tweaker): okay
[12/7/2011 5:55:29] Dustin Wyatt (Tweaker): remember when x64 used to talk about me touching my sister and shit and I got really mad? That would normally get me mad, but the reason it pissed me off is because I was actually doing it every so often. I never went too far because I didn't know what I was doing and I would freak out if even the slightest indication that she didn't like it came up. The furthest I ever really went was fingering the outside. Pretty sure I could never find the clit and the hole always seemed too small to do anything to without anyone noticing. In addition to her being a huge brat, this is why I've always tried to emotionally distance myself from her. I didn't want things to get worse because I didn't know how to control myself. I can't remember how old she was, maybe 2-3 or something
[12/7/2011 5:55:43] Dustin Wyatt (Tweaker): it didn't completely end there, though. I'll need to provide a bit of exposition first
[12/7/2011 6:04:59] Dustin Wyatt (Tweaker): I don't know if you actually know this or not (you've probably picked it up at some point) but one of my 'things' is that I'm into feet. Over the last year or something that's sort of skyrocketed more as of late (maybe because it feels more 'safe,' I guess) and one thing that's always turned me on more than anything else are kids' feet. The reason I know about imgsrc.ru is because there's tons of fetish galleries there that cater to my likes pretty much perfectly.
Anyway, at one point I decided I wanted to see if I could get away with doing stuff to my sister's feet--very tenderly; just enough so it wouldn't arouse any suspicion. She was always asleep and I always tested first to make sure she was in a deep enough sleep. After that I was pretty much home free to do whatever I wanted (and it worked as a gratifier because it's one of my, like, #1 turnons and it was a lot less risky than trying to play with anything else). Lots of times I would go in her room at night when nobody was there (a common occurrance; I'd often be stuck babysitting her late at night and she'd be passed out after school) and shove my face up against them, smell them, lick them, view them from up-close, strong POV angles--all that jazz. I'd always have an excuse for being in there because her room was constantly a mess and I could just act like I was cleaning up. I also studied a bit of psychology and learned that apparently the feet are an emotionally distant thing for kids at that point, so even if she woke up or WAS awake she probably wouldn't think much of it. A few times I even got super high and did it, which to be perfectly blunt is probably one of the most intense sexual experiences I've ever involved myself in. So erm, yeah--that kind of stuff is why I draw what I draw and what chiefly influences it. It feels like a niche thing, to be honest, but it's usually what I tend to get off to (gender neutral; boys and girls are almost identical at that age)
[12/7/2011 6:05:18] Dustin Wyatt (Tweaker): I have literally never told anyone this and never planned on telling anyone, so consider yourself special
[12/7/2011 6:06:48] Dustin Wyatt (Tweaker): I think it also makes me more... uh, comfortable, I guess, mainly because it's a sexual attraction to something that is inherently non-sexual. So it's not like any kids are being abused to make that material. I don't really have a logical reason to find anything wrong with it, so it sort of just works
[12/7/2011 6:07:20] Dustin Wyatt (Tweaker): mind you, that doesn't stop me from digging it being a sexually involved thing, but it feels like a security blanket, almost
[12/7/2011 6:10:53] Dustin Wyatt (Tweaker): I'll be honest, I was surprised when I saw you playing with Eva's feet at AC. Didn't think you were even remotely interested in that sort of thing, especially given how you like, never even take off your own shoes
[12/7/2011 6:13:04] Dustin Wyatt (Tweaker): that's interesting. I kind of thought it was the opposite
[12/7/2011 6:13:11] Dustin Wyatt (Tweaker): I recall you saying that once, anyway
[12/7/2011 6:14:05] Dustin Wyatt (Tweaker): That's what I felt when I was dating Delta and I really dug it
[12/7/2011 6:14:34] Dustin Wyatt (Tweaker): It's not exactly an awful thing
[12/7/2011 6:14:44] Dustin Wyatt (Tweaker): it makes things more... comfortable, I guess you could say
[12/7/2011 6:15:11] Dustin Wyatt (Tweaker): hm
[12/7/2011 6:15:27] Dustin Wyatt (Tweaker): I don't think you can really know until you actually do it
[12/7/2011 6:15:43] Dustin Wyatt (Tweaker): at some point you start to realize people are people and gender kind of just stops mattering
[12/7/2011 6:20:09] Dustin Wyatt (Tweaker): yeah, but if I recall you mentioned neither time was particularly fulfilling
[12/7/2011 6:21:56] Dustin Wyatt (Tweaker): that, to me, is kind of a sign. I was in denial about how I felt and what I liked until I actually went through with it and sort of just accepted it in myself. I'd say I went through more personal conflict admitting I was still somewhat attracted to women than admitting I was gay
[12/7/2011 6:22:08] Dustin Wyatt (Tweaker): so if you're not sure, I wouldn't rule it out
[12/7/2011 6:12:38] Dustin Wyatt (Tweaker): I don't save any adult porn at all. When I do look at it (which can go through phases, most of which are when you end up linking shit like efukt lmao) it's usually on like, streaming video websites
[12/7/2011 6:26:03] Dustin Wyatt (Tweaker): I have massive furry and shota folders, plus a slowly budding loli one, the latter of which I think I've paid more attention to as of late. I definitely have more furry and shota than anything else (and pretty much all of the furry folder has kemoshota, with the occasional chubby zangoose/tanuki and some other stuff)
[12/7/2011 6:26:21] Dustin Wyatt (Tweaker): my cp folder is comparitively smaller but it might get more use, I'm not sure at this point
[12/7/2011 6:26:32] Dustin Wyatt (Tweaker): I haven't actually gotten off to a whole lot of furry art as of late
[12/7/2011 6:29:56] Dustin Wyatt (Tweaker):
http://www.gaybeast.com/ I have an account on this website under my brother's internet alias. I pretty much always use his alias on porn websites lol, including the first spanish forum I found that had a ton of shota on it
[12/7/2011 6:30:11] Dustin Wyatt (Tweaker): if I can find it online in a revistable form I typically don't save it
[12/7/2011 6:30:20] Dustin Wyatt (Tweaker): I started saving pictures when sites started disappearing
[12/7/2011 6:30:57] Dustin Wyatt (Tweaker): to what extent?
[12/7/2011 6:35:59] Dustin Wyatt (Tweaker): What I described is pretty much the extent of my experience. I've always wanted to do more but the opportunity never presented itself. I did kind of try to see if I could fuck my cat once, now that I think about it, but it was spayed and I was frustrated that I could not find the vagina (too much fur, was probably sealed or something cause I have no idea how spaying works)
[12/7/2011 6:36:09] Dustin Wyatt (Tweaker): oh you know what the other thing I neglected to mention
[12/7/2011 6:36:40] Dustin Wyatt (Tweaker): I normally hate huge dicks, but for some reason I absolutely LOVE horse cocks. I don't know why, I think it's the massive loads and the pure wonder of it all
[12/7/2011 6:37:23] Dustin Wyatt (Tweaker): but the other thing is that I pretty much never like these things in furry art. I think it's because I feel like it crosses the two realms together (plus it's only the videos I like, not the pictures)
[12/7/2011 6:38:37] Dustin Wyatt (Tweaker): as for how much I indulge, it used to be a lot more but now it sort of just comes and goes
[12/7/2011 6:38:53] Dustin Wyatt (Tweaker): I think because I've seen most of the free videos and I'm not going to put money into that site
[12/7/2011 6:40:14] Dustin Wyatt (Tweaker): my favorite things are guys getting fucked by dogs (pre-knot, the whole knot thing is pretty boring) and dudes fucking female dogs (the angles are a big part of it but it also looks like it'd feel fucking amazing, so there's that)
[12/7/2011 6:41:00] Dustin Wyatt (Tweaker): I think another appeal factor is that animals like sex and don't attach all this stupid shit to it
[12/7/2011 6:41:09] Dustin Wyatt (Tweaker): a dog will outright fuck you, no questions asked, if you bend over
[12/7/2011 6:41:17] Dustin Wyatt (Tweaker): or not give a shit if you start boning it
[12/7/2011 6:41:32] Dustin Wyatt (Tweaker): because it's less about all these stupid moral barriers and more about enjoyment and instinct
[12/7/2011 6:44:36] Dustin Wyatt (Tweaker): I'd honestly rather nobody else be there. Makes it too weird for me
[12/7/2011 6:45:23] Dustin Wyatt (Tweaker): yeah, I remember her
[12/7/2011 6:45:51] Dustin Wyatt (Tweaker): so I heard
[12/7/2011 6:48:24] Dustin Wyatt (Tweaker): I uh... I'm not sure, actually >.> I might have just spilled all my secrets
[12/7/2011 6:48:36] Dustin Wyatt (Tweaker): only other thing I could think of doing is sharing videos or something
[12/7/2011 6:49:22] Dustin Wyatt (Tweaker): I actually don't remember what you sent me. I don't think I have it anymore
[12/7/2011 6:50:14] Dustin Wyatt (Tweaker): I'm pretty much up for anything I haven't seen before
[12/7/2011 6:50:36] Dustin Wyatt (Tweaker): penetration and/or cum is a plus, gender doesn't matter
[12/7/2011 6:50:55] Dustin Wyatt (Tweaker): there's tons of foreplay and fellatio, it's almost getting boring. Though I like it if it's really good
[12/7/2011 6:51:11] Dustin Wyatt (Tweaker): oh LOL
[12/7/2011 6:51:22] Dustin Wyatt (Tweaker): You did not specify!
[12/7/2011 6:51:46] Dustin Wyatt (Tweaker): Um. I actually have no idea
[12/7/2011 6:54:17] Dustin Wyatt (Tweaker): it'd be nice to get something actually clear from you. Most of it has been in black and white, really dark and/or hard to see
[12/7/2011 6:54:27] Dustin Wyatt (Tweaker): including actual boner and touching
