Video Game Bosses - YOUR WAY - Or: - Everything I know I learned from fanfiction.net... and instantly regret it.

[Wraith]

Take ANY video game boss you are interested in, and give it a whole new back story. Be silly. Be fun! Be the kind of video game writer that people who work for Bioware could never be!

Example: - Dark Souls, Ceaseless Discharge

His real problem, which is self-evident if you look at his face, is that he's a NEET. He hasn't had a job in ages, is depressed, and his mom is a witch. And for all of you that have feminist mothers, you know how that can depress anybody.

He's also incredibly easy to beat, like many NEETs are. So my plan is to give him a lava kitten, so he has something to love and play with, and also decorate the area come the holidays. Since this game was made in Japan, he'll love St. Valentine's Day so I'll put up lava hearts and send him lava chocolate under the pseudonym Miyuki, and at Christmas put up a lava tree.

I can't possibly see how this could fail!

 

[American Lollinator Mace]

Vagrant Story: the Zombie Minotaur.

Poor Zombie Minotaur. The middle child in a Minotaur household, originally he wasn't one of Lea Monde's many, many undead. He and his brothers had received a call from Squaresoft that they were looking for bosses in an action RPG; the little brother, Vanilla Minotaur, didn't know he was going to be the first boss in the game, and thus was promptly beaten like a drum and died inauspiciously.
The eldest brother, Silver Minotaur, went bravely to the Temple of Kiltia and told not-yet-Zombie Minotaur to wait for him back in the Wine Cellar, for he would surely beat the crap out of their brother's murderer and return with his head.
That didn't happen, needless to say. Poor soon-to-be-Zombie Minotaur waited a long time for his brother to come back. A very long time. Eventually, he died, still waiting...and the Dark claimed his body, making him the undead bull dude Vagrant Story veterans know.

...I'm not gonna cry, dammit.

 

[OhGoy]

Spoiler: White Tiger from Nioh

https://i.ytimg.com/vi/q8SLatiR-6A/maxresdefault.jpg

"There once was a wolf, who carried a sword between its jaws(Sif from Dark Souls). Before being slain, he would limp and cause his attackers to feel extreme amounts of guilt and sadness. The tiger aspired to be like him. He aspired to make people feel those same exact emotions before striking him down. And so he became a boss, just like the wolf. Though, he only 'partially' realized his dream.

He was slain many times, but none felt emotion before ending his life. They treated him as any other boss; nothing but an obstacle in their path. The explanation for this is quite simple: the writers gods of Nioh were shitty writers who failed at replicating Sif's boss fight simply lacked the ability to grant the tiger this power. So, he went down in history as 'just another boss fight' instead of being on the same level as Sif. It is said that if you listen closely after killing him, you can hear the faint laughs of Miyzaki..."

Spoiler: TL;DR

team ninja can't write for shit