"Hey guys. I wanted to make a post about some things for a few days now, but I didn't know what to say. It was only until after an hour+ long conversation with JiggyIggy last night that I realized what I wanted to express to you all.
If you notice I've been trying to keep my Patreon thing off the stream as much as possible. I didn't really even want the video at the bottom of the page, but I don't think we can remove it. In my mind, you guys are number one. The stream, the streamers, this forum; you are all the people I care about the most. I did not want to rub the Patreon thing in your faces. I knew that my youtube subscribers would be supportive enough, and even if they weren't I was ok with that. Don't get me wrong, my subscribers are really nice and overwhelmingly positive, but I know many of them aren't patient enough to watch a full stream: to stick with me through my highs, lows, boring moments and screw ups. I doubt most of them would even stick around for other streamers. It sucks a bit, but I understand it, time is precious.
I got off track a bit, but if you noticed, my Patreon is at a very liveable number for me, but it hasn't happened without some guilt or second thoughts. I don't make decisions like that lightly, in fact, I considered just cancelling the whole thing last night after a particularly intense internal struggle. Today, I feel a bit better, but I also feel I owe a detailed explanation of my motives to you all; my friends, my critics, my secret enemies, my jabronies.
Here's what this is all about.
The past two - three years have been very bad at work. Some of you may remember when I would spend time complaining about it on stream. I've since learned not to do that, but deep down, I was a very sad person. I would go to work, make my shitty pay, deal with incompetence and even mild forms of abuse from politically connected people. I was promised a raise for 2 years only to find out that no one ever said a thing to the guy in charge of that. I was kept in a room, editing one person's vanity projects for way too long, often being told how to do my job.
At home, I was in charge of making people smile, laugh and sometimes think. At work, I was ignored and under appreciated. At home, people would come to me with problems that I could fix, people would ask me for advice and guidance. At work, I was treated worse and payed less than a 19 year old out of high-school. It was slowly killing my spirits. Why would they do this to me? Because I stood up to the wrong people too many times. I opened my mouth when I saw things that were wrong. I questioned bad work and fought to do things right. I fucked with political kiss-asses and was kept in the dark as a result.
I know others have it worse than me, and for even complaining, I'm sorry. I can only tell you how I felt about this, not how tough it was compared to other jobs. Luckily, there was some hope for me. Starting Vinesauce nearly 4 years ago actually allowed me to quit my job. My youtube page started blowing up, allowing me to make some money and save it. Other opportunities also cropped up, adding to my "retirement fund" so to speak. I hoped things would get better at work, but I kinda knew they wouldn't so I saved and saved and saved. Finally, an event happened that was absolutely the last straw... I had to go. Fortunately for me, I have a bit of income now and a bunch saved up.
Now, why do I need the money? Why did I start a Patreon? Plain and simple, its so I can continue streaming and making videos. It's something I love more than any material possessions. It's my end game. I'm not making money to buy a new car, or go on a fancy vacation or stack my house with expensive junk. I'm making this money so I can eat, pay my bills and save a bit for when shit goes wrong.
After 5 years of servitude, I'm in no rush to go back to a 40 hour a week job. I know many of you will scoff at that and say "We all have to break our asses at work, what makes you different?" Well, nothing really, except you. By you enjoying what I do on the stream and the videos, I'm now able to focus on the things I really care about in life. I saw that some opportunities were open to me and I took them. I really do plan on getting some part-time freelance work to cover other expenses, but until then Patreon will do the trick.
Now, why do I need so much?
This is the part I don't like to talk about in the fear of becoming a massive whining shitlord. Unfortunately, for me to fully feel good about making this post, I have to describe why I'm not "rich" from youtube and patreon.
First, New York City. It's expensive to live here. 15 dollar bridge tolls. Gas prices that are sinfully high. Even food costs a bit more in some occasions.
Secondly, bills. I'm still paying a student loan off... $300 a month. I will be paying this off for quite a few years to come, with the added fun of increasing interest. Cellphone, internet, car insurance (I have a shitty 98 Corolla btw, just something to get me places.) Tomorrow I will begin paying for Health Insurance as well.
Finally, the real shitty part. When my mom died unexpectedly in 2012, the house I grew up in was passed to me. I am the executor of this place, which thankfully has no mortgage, but heating and electricity bills now fall to me. My grandma and dad also live here, and they don't make money aside from my grandma's pension. Guess who has to pay the difference? If anything happens here, the boiler breaks, the power goes out, there's insects, whatever.. I have to pay for it. That's why I've been saving for so long.
As I said, my endgame is to be able to stream and focus on Vinesauce stuff, the real source of my happiness. Now I can do this, and for the first time in my life I can breathe a sigh of relief.
On a last note, I mentioned that I would be streaming at more human hours and I haven't exactly done a lot of that the past few days. I feel I owe some of you an explanation. Since I started Patreon, I've been sending hundreds of thank you messages, emails and replies. I've also been working on the website a bit. I made mention of outtakes videos on Patreon, one of which I finished, with another 2 to go. I've also been working on my Yoshi's Island corruptions video. Because of my new lack of health insurance, I've been scrambling around, calling people and places looking for the best prices. I've also been able to work on my music a little bit as well. By next week all of this should die down and I should have a lot more time to stream as I promised I would. Don't worry, I'm not going to Mexico with anyone's money.
So to conclude, I'm happy for the first time in a while, but it does have it's reservations. Patreon may seem like a great idea for someone with a following, but if you're like me and have a pretty overwhelming conscience, it feels weird and is not entirely guilt free. If, in the future, I find freelance work or my youtube rates go up, I would highly consider cancelling the thing. We'll see how things go. Until then, just know that I appreciate you all very much. You are the true Vinesaucers and the ones I will always respect the most. I'm sorry for rambling on about all this, but I had to at least articulate it the best I could.
Remember that Patreon is completely optional and I didn't expect anyone to donate, ESPECIALLY if they're in financially dire straits. I'm good now, I don't need anything. I'm happy to have you with me all these years, the money is secondary, a means to an end, one which I seem to have accomplished already. So thanks again for being here and thanks for all the support and friendship. I hope I can continue to make you smile a little after a shitty day.
-Vinny"