Warhammer 40k

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Horus said:
I would pay good money to watch a Blood Angel cut down The Avengers, especially after End Game.
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Or imagine a What If? where the Avengers were in the 40K 'verse.

Cap = Ultramarines, because they're the blue-clad poster boys
Iron Man = Iron Hands, because he's a tech-obsessed cyborg
Thor = Space Wolves, because he's already a Space Viking demigod who loves fighting and drinking
Hulk = Eversor assassin, because he's unstoppable and uncontrollable in rage mode
Hawkeye = Vindicare assassin
Nick Fury = Lord Inquisitor
Black Widow = Callidus assassin
War Machine = Also an Iron Hand
Dr. Strange = Grey Knights
Captain Marvel = Sister of Battle
Black Panther = Celestial Lions, because they're space Africans with a big cat motif
Spider-Man: Ultramarine Scout, because he's just trying to be the bestest good guy he can
Scarlet Witch = *BLAMMED* for being a witch/Imperial Guard Primaris psyker, depending on who found her first
Quicksilver = White Scars, because gotta go fast
Vision = *BLAMMED* for being an Abominable Intelligence
 
Second Missing Primarch said:
On the other hand, imagine the crossovers.

Inquisitor: "So, you 'Avengers' claim to be the defenders of humanity, but you ally yourselves with xenos, witches, mutants, and abominable intelligences? Right then, prepare to be purged."

Captain America: "Wait just a second, we--" *BLAM*

Furry Space Pocahontas: "We are the Na'vi, and this is our world, Pandora! It is a majestic place where all life is interconne--"

Space Marine: "Captain, auspex detects significant deposits of adamantium in the crust."

Captain: "Very good. Prepare for cyclonic torpedo bombardment. We'll have the Mechanicus strip-mine the place once we've finished the Exterminatus."
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Instead of the joy of seeing Disney characters being murdered, I'm pretty sure we'd just get Deadpool hanging out with Orks teaching them to eat chimichangas, because that's just so funny and CBR-level clickbait awesome. Ugh, I can already see it. OI, DIS HUMIE GIT IS ALROIGHT! Just the thought of it sends shivers up my spine.
 
Ted_Breakfast said:
Instead of the joy of seeing Disney characters being murdered, I'm pretty sure we'd just get Deadpool hanging out with Orks teaching them to eat chimichangas. Ugh, I can already see it. OI, DIS HUMIE GIT IS ALRIGHT! Just the thought of it sends shivers up my spine.
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And then the Orks discover that he can't be killed no matter what they hit him with, so they just strand him on some backwater planet and play Da Most Dangeruz Gaem: Humie Edition with him whenever they get bored and need a good fight.
 
Second Missing Primarch said:
And then the Orks discover that he can't be killed no matter what they hit him with, so they just strand him on some backwater planet and play Da Most Dangeruz Gaem: Humie Edition with him whenever they get bored and need a good fight.
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It's even more disturbing when you realize Deadpool might enjoy it too, until he can't get any more chimichangas.
 
Horus said:
With all of the above mind, if the comics do well, Disney may try some films, and that is where the fear comes in. Disney will make the property "woke", and they will also dumb-down the lore so normies can follow it.
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The Lore was always pretty dumb and straightforward, it just varied a ton with time based on who they wanted to sell too.
 
Second Missing Primarch said:
And then the Orks discover that he can't be killed no matter what they hit him with, so they just strand him on some backwater planet and play Da Most Dangeruz Gaem: Humie Edition with him whenever they get bored and need a good fight.
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Capsaicin Addict said:
It's even more disturbing when you realize Deadpool might enjoy it too, until he can't get any more chimichangas.
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See, this is actually a pretty good trade book arc; I'd like that.

I'm also now just envisioning Moon Knight v. the Alpha Legion or a Tzeentchian cult and it's hilarious.
 
Second Missing Primarch said:
And then the Orks discover that he can't be killed no matter what they hit him with, so they just strand him on some backwater planet and play Da Most Dangeruz Gaem: Humie Edition with him whenever they get bored and need a good fight.
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Orkz will never get bored with Deadpool, you git. They'll probably treat him as the next Yarrick.
 
Ted_Breakfast said:
Never read one, but the fact that the main character hates weapons and violence makes it the most inappropriate piece of Warhammer media ever. It tells the reader that, in 40k, wars can be settled with words.

No. No they can't.
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Wars CAN be settled with one word in the 40k universe...

WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGH!
 
Recoil said:
Is this accurate? The eversors really roll like this?

https://youtube.com/watch?v=pywjdJ7P-7o
Also, "How do you get a sister of battle pregnant? Dress her up as an altar boy"
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It's exaggerated for comedic effect, but yes. The Eversors are weapons of mass destruction. When you drop one, it'll kill literally everything in its way until it's accomplished its mission. From the 40K wiki:

"Another notable incident was the Slaughter of Clan Mackenzie that occurred during an unknown period of Imperial history. The ruling family of Dunroamin VI in Segmentum Ultima was the Clan Mackenzie, an ancient colonial family, led by Grand Duke Fraser Mackenzie. It became evident that the Clan Mackenzie were financing pirate raids on their neighbours, paying for stolen goods taken from the rival Mining Worlds of Rouan and Nearly-There. An unnamed Eversor Assassin was dispatched to wipe out Grand Duke Mackenzie and all his living relatives during the Grand Hootmamay (a local Heretic festival), which was held every local summer. The Eversor succeeded in killing all 317 members of the Clan Mackenzie (the youngest being three weeks old, the eldest 142 years of age), although at times the Assassin was forced to resort to various improvised weapons to complete the daunting task, including a silver soup spoon and a butter knife."

Eversor Assassin. When you absolutely, positively got to kill every motherfucking heretic in the hive, accept no substitutes.
 
...And why Khorne doesn't use freaks like these?

Yes, I know about the World Eaters, but being surgically pissed off is an different thing.
 
Eversor is a great name, as these chaps are perpetually salty.

Second Missing Primarch said:
The Eversor succeeded in killing all 317 members of the Clan Mackenzie (the youngest being three weeks old, the eldest 142 years of age), although at times the Assassin was forced to resort to various improvised weapons to complete the daunting task, including a silver soup spoon and a butter knife.
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This is the best thing I've read in months
 
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millais said:
Are they called Ultramarines as some kind of clever allusion to the Frankish Crusader-Knights of Outremer, or because the writers were not very creative in devising the name for their most heavily shilled chapter?
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Based on the coloring, i'd say it's the latter.
 
Second Missing Primarch said:
It's exaggerated for comedic effect, but yes. The Eversors are weapons of mass destruction. When you drop one, it'll kill literally everything in its way until it's accomplished its mission. From the 40K wiki:

"Another notable incident was the Slaughter of Clan Mackenzie that occurred during an unknown period of Imperial history. The ruling family of Dunroamin VI in Segmentum Ultima was the Clan Mackenzie, an ancient colonial family, led by Grand Duke Fraser Mackenzie. It became evident that the Clan Mackenzie were financing pirate raids on their neighbours, paying for stolen goods taken from the rival Mining Worlds of Rouan and Nearly-There. An unnamed Eversor Assassin was dispatched to wipe out Grand Duke Mackenzie and all his living relatives during the Grand Hootmamay (a local Heretic festival), which was held every local summer. The Eversor succeeded in killing all 317 members of the Clan Mackenzie (the youngest being three weeks old, the eldest 142 years of age), although at times the Assassin was forced to resort to various improvised weapons to complete the daunting task, including a silver soup spoon and a butter knife."

Eversor Assassin. When you absolutely, positively got to kill every motherfucking heretic in the hive, accept no substitutes.
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Butter knife and spoon. I think it’s time the imperium ban all assault utensils and introduce a loicence system for plastic cutlery.
 
millais said:
Are they called Ultramarines as some kind of clever allusion to the Frankish Crusader-Knights of Outremer, or because the writers were not very creative in devising the name for their most heavily shilled chapter?
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I think it's a little of Column A and a little of Column B. The Smurfs' home realm is known as Ultramar, and it's the Imperium's bulwark and last outpost of civilization to the galactic east, rather like the Crusader States. Of course, their armor is also ultramarine blue and Matt Ward the Spiritual Liege was and is fond of claiming that they're "teh bestest Spess Mehreens evar ZOMG!!!1!", so there's that.
 
Do they turn Leman Russ and Mortarion into sympathetic characters? I just finished A Thousand Sons and both of them come off as like comic book bully characters. In the Horus Heresy (at least the books I've read) they do a pretty good job of turning the Primarchs into interesting sympathetic characters even the ones your not supposed to like such as Perty and Lorgar. Do Leman and Mortarion get the same treatment eventually?
 
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