Going to have to find a new gym. Planet Fitness, which I hadn't gotten around to actually going to yet but had a black card membership for a few months (long story), apparently couldn't figure out how to take money out of my bank account. A week early.
So having tried to take money out early, which was absolutely fine to do, and failing, they sent me a text, which I ignored because they're stupid and it's like the 7th similar text I've gotten from them. Looking back, every month they failed to take directly out of my savings and had to use my "backup payment" -- credit card.
Supremely fucking weird thing all around. I knew something was fucked when their application to join was like 5 pages of hyper-small IRS-form like paperwork. I had always heard they were faggots but jesus christ. I now know they wanted the savings account direct debit instead of a card becuase there are many many ways to cut their asses off if you're paying through a card, but if they're taking it from bank transfer they get their money and you can get fucked.
Anyway, long story short, they tried to take money out a week early, failed, then sent me to collections within like 48 hours of them not being able to figure out payment processors. Apparently they own their own collection's agency, cause I got a nice polite email from Planet Fitness warning me that I was delinquent, I needed to sign up for a special naughty boy website (owed and operated by Planet Fitness), and pay what I owe them. And then they had a big long blurb in 4 px font at the bottom saying "Yes, this is a collection's agency. This serves as your notice that within 30 days we'll fuck you over as hard was we can. yadda yadda."
So I paid up. They charged me like $20 to cancel -- apparently I got away easy, usually they charge you like $75 to get away -- and $10 for a late fee and $25 for the month. But I'm out clean and as far as I can tell they didn't actually ding my credit. And now I need to find a new gym.