Weird deities - Post the weirdest mythological god you've ever seen

[lolcow yoghurt]

The title says it all. Post really fucking weird deities once people worshipped. Like the sewer goddess.

 

[CWCSavedMyMarriage]

The weirdest and greatest deity will come into being in 2082, when our Lord and Savior, CWC, sheds his human form and becomes one with the Merge.
Be not afraid, for he is working on it.

 

[A Welsh Cake]

What, like in person?

 

[Nick Obre]

Do Catholic Saints count? They're basically domain-specific deities, labeled in a way that technically keeps things monotheistic.

There's well known ones like Francis of Assisi, saint of animals, but also weirdly specific ones like Saint Expeditus, saint of making bureaucracy go faster.

 

[WhoIsSutterKane]

 

[lolcow yoghurt]

What, like in person?

Like Cardea, the goddess of door hinges, Xochipilli, God of gay prostitutes or Matshishkapeu, the spirit who talks through farts.

 

[Meat Target]

Do Catholic Saints count? They're basically domain-specific deities, labeled in a way that technically keeps things monotheistic.

There's well known ones like Francis of Assisi, saint of animals, but also weirdly specific ones like Saint Expeditus, saint of making bureaucracy go faster.

I'm Catholic and boy howdy, those are always interesting.

St. Lawrence is one of the oldest documented IRL trolls.

>ordered by the Roman authorities to bring them the "hidden treasure of the church"
>brings them a bunch of widows, orphans, and vagrants
>they execute him by cooking him alive on a grill
>his last words are "turn me over, I'm done on this side".

He is now the patron saint of chefs and comedians.

 

[From The Uncanny Valley]

Ixtab, the Mayan goddess of NECK YOURSELF.

 

[Jason Wynn]

Sterculius the Roman god of feces

Thought that was made up for a Beavis and Butthead episode but nope

 

[The Last Stand]

This is a thing for some people.

 

[cuttysnark]

 

[Elbow Greased Strength]

Do Catholic Saints count? They're basically domain-specific deities, labeled in a way that technically keeps things monotheistic.

There's well known ones like Francis of Assisi, saint of animals, but also weirdly specific ones like Saint Expeditus, saint of making bureaucracy go faster.

Speaking of weird, folk Catholicism has had some pretty bizarre saints including a dog saint Guienfort and a bearded woman named Wilgefortis...who was completely made up because someone ignorant peasants in the 9th century thought the Volto Santo crucifix was a woman.

 

[Milkis]

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The thuggees who worshipped Kali basically came out of the collapse of the Mughal Empire and the chaotic transition through the Marathas to East India Company rule, didn't they? The interior of 18th-century India was basically The Road until the British cleaned it up in the 1800s.

 

[Antarctica_Bound]

Whatever Hindus worship

 

[Manimal House]

Polynesians have some pretty wacky ones.

https://glitternight.com/2011/02/20/the-top-eleven-deities-in-hawaiian-mythology/

HAUMEA – Hawaiian mother-goddess who was prayed to by midwives attending at the birth of children. The kinkiest myth about her involves the way she would take a man as a mate, have children with him, then when those sons were old enough to procreate she would restore her own youth and have children with those sons. She would repeat the process with the sons she had through those children and so on and so on, generation after generation.

Sometimes she is associated with the primordial Earth goddess Papa, the wife of Rangi the sky god. Another famous myth about her involves her ownership of a grove of enchanted trees. One of them produced fish the way other trees produce fruit. She gave this tree to humans with the warning to never shake the tree to get fish to fall but instead wait for the fish to ripen and fall on their own.

Naturally this warning was ignored, the tree was shaken by impatient humans and all the fish fell from the tree, escaping into the sea from which humans now have to work to fish them up

 

[The Last Stand]

Flying spaghetti monster.

 

[lolcow yoghurt]

View attachment 3466533

This is a thing for some people.

American God of coof jabs and masks?

 

[From The Uncanny Valley]

Whatever Hindus worship

Hey, Ganesha is pretty chill.

 

[White Girl]

May they bless thy thread

 

[lolcow yoghurt]

Ixtab, the Mayan goddess of NECK YOURSELF.

Her worshippers considered suicide by hanging as a honourable death.