Weird Dreams Thread

[Ido]

One time I had a dream where my family, boyfriend (a figment of my imagination as I've never really had one), and I went to Florida/Disney World. My family somehow found out that my bf's schlong was in their words "unseemly and feral" so they tried to convince him to get circumcised. They were totally fine with us going at it but apparently being uncircumcised was too much to ask for because they were unrelenting, they even staged an intervention.

That's when I woke up and realized I go on Kiwi Farms way too much.

 

[DollJoints]

I was in what seemed like a mall, a very busy mall but none that I've ever been to. I began to smell something incredibly foul. People dropped to the ground and a slight greenish most began to fill the area. I started to fight for air but ultimately fell over and my consciousness waned. "BREATH IN THE GAS CITIZEN" a feminine but somewhat robotic voice crackled over what sounded to be a PA system. I could hear repeated rifle fire.

I woke up in a cold sweat. I'm never eating edibles before bed again.

 

[MerriedxReldnahc]

I had somehow gotten involved with NASA's recruitment and was credited with assembling an all-retarded space mission crew.

 

[ZehnBoat]

I had somehow gotten involved with NASA's recruitment and was credited with assembling an all-retarded space mission crew.

mmm yes, houston we got a dang dirty troll.

I think i mentioned this once here, but i tend to dream of impossible structures
two of the few that stick out are
The impossible apartment: Imagine a city square block, and about 3/4 of it is covered in a U shaped building made with parts of various buildings of different times and places.

The Farm: a 1 mile square piece of farmland (about 400 feet thick or so) sitting on a tiny dirt pillar, hanging over nothing. and the only way on and off of it is a strange wooden bridge that enters the land from under the block, and goes through upward until it comes out on top. everything on top of the land is pretty normal.

 

[Curt Sibling]

I never dream. But I had a doozy recently...
Was trying to protect a large swan from three hipster idiots who wanted to kill it.
The hipsters were incredibly memorable, but I've never seen or met them...Odd...

This shit symbolises something, I am sure of it.

 

[sm0t]

Not too long ago I dreamt that I was driving a pickup truck, but when I tried to reach for the brake with my foot, it would move away from me and another gas pedal would appear in its former place. Eventually the brake pedal was stretching the whole cab of the truck itself in order to get away from me. I was also rolling down a hill.

I woke up before I reached the bottom.

 

[The Lawgiver]

I've had a bunch of really weird dreams, the most disappointing/confusing ones I tend to have lately are the ones where it just plays out like a normal day. Though those get really weird sometimes in bizarre ways.

For example, there was this one where I was going to a shopping center to get groceries or some shit, and it was all normal save for some really weird fat guy stalking me everywhere I went and calling me "Marie" for some reason whenever he addressed me. Naturally, since I'm a dude this was fucking unnerving. The entire dream was just this guy following me to every store I went to. Like he'd just be there the moment I got in the store. Eventually I worked up the gall to ask this guy "why the fuck are you calling me that, who are you, I'm clearly a dude, and my name ain't Marie" and he just gave me this dead eyed grin stare thing and went all "Well, you could be Marie" And then I just got the fuck out of there. I just ran and as soon as I was gonna call the cops on this weirdo I woke up.

There also was another one that had a less exciting premise of me going to an aquarium in a local beachside city and nothing of value happened save for the end when I left the place and there was a massive traffic jam, and then I looked behind the car and saw that the reason for the traffic jam was rubberneckers gazing at a mushroom cloud. The city was being fucking nuked and idiots were just stopping and taking pictures of it with their smart phones as the explosion neared us all. I woke up after that.

 

[Sperglord Dante]

I had this weird dream sequence during a nap earlier today that started with a real state salesman showing me a house I didn't plan to buy and ended up in an animated version of Dante's ninth circle of hell (a frozen pit with a giant Satan frozen in its center).

The weird thing is that I dreamed of an animated hell last week too, even though it didn't look anything like this one (It was a more traditional fire and brimstone scene with a different animation style)

 

[Hummingbird]

This month I've had two dreams where I get electrocuted in the bathtub. One was a mild shock and the other probably would've killed me.

 

[The Lawgiver]

I had another of those "mundane save for one spooky thing" dreams last night. While getting something out of the fridge I noticed what looked like a cross between a stinkbug and a spider crawling on the ceiling. the thing was scuttling around the walls and then when I went up to it to squish it it suddenly started convulsing and growing like something out of a stop-motion horror film. A family member squished the thing as it as it was doing this and of course it didn't fucking die immediately. it ran away to the couch and grew even bigger before finally dying, but the head like turned into something that looked like one of those seed pods trypophobes get freaked out by. My family was like "Why are you so freaked out, it was just a fucking spider!" even though it was clearly not a spider. The day then proceeded as normal until I eventually woke up realizing once again that the "weird day" I had experienced was just a dream.

 

[dunbrine47]

This is going to be weird as fuck. I just had a dream related to Kiwi Farms.
OK, so on the dream the servers to the website are so slow that Null is forced to get outside corporate sponsorship in order to keep the site afloat. One of the companies that sponsors KF is, Etihad (Yes the fucking airline).

Anyway the sponsorship deal has some issues and I'm about to crack some jokes about it on the website. Next thing I know is that KF has an office in Kuala Lumpur (I'm not making this up if I tried). I go there to visit because of "free jokes" being given out. Somehow I'm more of a sperg then usual and have trouble figuring what parts of the building belong to KF. I take the elevator to surrounding floors to look around and some how the elevator malfunctions and goes up to a 90 something floor, the door opens and an alarm saying "restricted floor" is heard. It looks like the floor I am on has a medical facility. I manage to close the doors and try to get back to the floor I was on before.

I end up on another floor where a security guard gets in the elevator and I have an m4 in my face. Next thing I know I have my hands in the air while the guard questions me (and yes I tell him I'm here for KF), pats me down and tries to get fix the elevator. He gets the elevator fixed and asks if I have tried the Lobster Satay, which I respond I will before I leave the country. The dream ends with a bunch of people lined up in front of the KF office (to meet and have free jokes) and I meet a girl who I used to work with but I have not seen in years.
I still can't believe this dream was a thing.

 

[Hummingbird]

I had a dream of a Space Dandy episode where Dandy finds out there's this rare alien that looks like a parrot humanoid with blue, yellow and white feathers (their arms are wings). So he manages to convince the alien to come with him to get registered. The alien is instantly impressed with Dandy and his alien hunting life style and wants to do it too so he agrees to get registered if Dandy teaches him the tricks of his trade.

The problem is that the alien sucks at it and is rather spoiled and pampered (he's 20 years old) which makes it harder. But the worst part is that he's the son of a mafia kingpin who will do what he can to get his boy back even if he refuses. There was no ending though.

(Granted I was watching my Space Dandy DVD before going to sleep.)

 

[day_man]

Whenever I'm really stressed I'll have a nightmare about zombies...

this past week I had a dream I was back in highschool, and I had just begun school mid semester so I didn't know anyone except one person (an irl friend from college)
She was showing me around when we came across this bloated zombie.... I began to ask my friend about it when she whispered to me "yeah, none of us like her, but she's in the special class so we have to be nice" so I just tried my best to ignore this thing.
Then I saw a giant crowd of kids cheering and chanting, so I went to see what was up.
"We got the chainsaw!!" they shouted and held up this massive circular blade that was rusty and dull... I looked over at my friend and said "hey! didn't you say you wanted one of these!"
and I took it and threw it at her. Everyone started to cheer and crowd around my friend...... I joined the crowed and watched as she sawed the zombie student into pieces....everyone was high-fiving as my friend started to pass out peices of zombie meat for everyone to eat.

I woke up feeling extremely guilty, and still haven't shaken the image out of my head haha.

 

[MerriedxReldnahc]

Last night in my dream-universe, the internet was blowing up because of a tweet Donald Trump made in which he said the onion rings at McDonald's were disgusting and poor quality. He said McDonald's should be ashamed of having inferior product to Burger King. People were demanding he be removed from his position as PEOTUS for his un-American slander of McDonald's. (all the while forgetting that McD's doesn't even serve onion rings)

 

[Jan_D3]

I had this weird dream that I had a Hitler-like status and that I was talking through video conference to what appears to be an organization that I am the leader of and that I had this everlasting anger towards something. It was just very vivid.

 

[MerriedxReldnahc]

Necroing because I'm on like, my 5th Kiwi Farms related dream and you should all laugh at me for having so many of them. The farms seemed to be a physical location where we all lived, and there was some kind of conflict going on where we had all split into tiny factions opposing eachother. There was a large lake in Kiwi town and each faction had their own boat. Myself and five others (I don't remember who it was but while I had the dream I knew them to be specific members) had gotten a tiny little boat, named it something lame and set sail. The main Moderators were all on one yacht and everyone was mad about it. We weren't even engaged in naval combat, the extent of the feud was all of us being in boats and being mad at eachother.

 

[Captain Toad]

One time I had this dream that I was walking alone in a really generic suburban neighborhood. It was nighttime. I came across this house that looked like a tall, black pumpkin thing.
I went inside and saw a bunch of Disney villains sitting at a table or something. Like, Maleficent, Ursula and the Snow White villain were there. Then they all turned out to be serial killers or something and tried to kill me with butcher knives.
The rest of my dream was me running through the neighborhood trying not to die. It was really stupid.

 

[Morose_Obesity]

I had a trippy one about a claymation fish being violently bisected by invisible forces, going "blubblubblub" in a cartoony way, then later I was marching down the street near my first apartment from late 2000, saying "Why am I a chick? Why am I a chick?" but I started a new antidepressant recently.

 

[Octopuff in kumquat]

I was 15, in a bathroom stall and there were stunning and naked porn actresses all around me, doing all sorts of things with themselves and trying to get my attention, and I merely shooed them away, focused on the stall door for whatever reason. It didn't even seem odd to me, of what the surroundings were, just that I was trying to concentrate on something else.

I'm ready for your analysis, Freud.

 

[AnOminous]

I was 15, in a bathroom stall and there were stunning and naked porn actresses all around me, doing all sorts of things with themselves and trying to get my attention, and I merely shooed them away, focused on the stall door for whatever reason. It didn't even seem odd to me, of what the surroundings were, just that I was trying to concentrate on something else.

I'm ready for your analysis, Freud.

You're gay.