Weirdest thing you ever fapped to

I was pretty desperate at our vacation house in the mountains... no internet or anything and a blizzard had us shut in. I was bored out of my fucking mind... it also had been about a week since I was able to choke the chicken.

anyway... masturbated to the couch by imagining fucking a bitch on it at first... but... I think I was horny enough that I was just wacking it to the couch. Blasted sauce all over it... Most reliving nut I ever had- made that couch my slut.
Sneasel, is that you?
 
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I masturbate to gods I worship.
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I got internet fairly late as a kid so I regularly fapped to the first half of the scene in final destination 3 where they are at the tanning beds. Only the first part of course because I get turned on by naked women and not by freak accidents in tanning beds. And also, I think final destination 4 also had tits
Both those actresses careers were based on showing titties, they’re very talented boobs
 
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Try being into BDSM erotica because BDSM covers a very large fucking area. You could be reading a nice story about orgasm denial and gentle femdom and BAM! somebody gets a dildo forcibly inserted into their arse or a rod inserted into their urethra. And then they get pissed on. It can really put you off your stroke.
 
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I got internet fairly late as a kid so I regularly fapped to the first half of the scene in final destination 3 where they are at the tanning beds. Only the first part of course because I get turned on by naked women and not by freak accidents in tanning beds. And also, I think final destination 4 also had tits
Those chicks were hot.

Smoking hot.

Like blazing hot, literally on fire.
 
I got internet fairly late as a kid so I regularly fapped to the first half of the scene in final destination 3 where they are at the tanning beds. Only the first part of course because I get turned on by naked women and not by freak accidents in tanning beds. And also, I think final destination 4 also had tits
I fapped to the second half.
 
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Plenty of weird shit when I was 12/13. Anything female. Some pizza had a depiction of a woman on it (tiny circle with her face) and I was like

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A tree.

Didn’t get a chance to polish the old blunderbuss for a solid week once back when I was 19, working with a crew of guys, sharing hotel rooms, no privacy….

I was almost in pain I was so turned on, just constantly.
I was driving back to the hotel when I looked over and I saw it….a nice, supple tree, thick trunk, nice bark…..I realized I was getting turned on at the thought of humping a goddamn tree…..

Went back to the hotel and fapped in the shower, swear to God the stream hit the ceiling.
 
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This is embarrassing af but when I was a wee lad and first started fapping I didn't know porn existed,
so I would jerk off to the black girls dancing in the walk it out music video,
thing is the video is in shit 240p quality (still up on YouTube) so I was really fapping to pixels
 
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