What ACK?: Gout Edition - "What If" but for DSP & Company

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What if Phil secretly has a snort/burp fetish that he's purposefully exposing his fans to?
 
what if he got with that aussie painter chick instead of panda? from the three sentences i've heard about her she sounded mental, that would have be hella interesting to witness
 
Cvitanich said:
He'd probably be a vlogger, not about video games but maybe about his life or maybe about food.
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I actually agree, in a way. I mean if you look at his "cooking with the king" videos, they're cringey as fuck and horrible and he's not a good cook, but he's actually more enthusiastic and invested than Ive ever heard him in any other video. I mean he's still talking AT the viewer, I guess, but he's more invested and it seems like he's actually trying to at least explain or be informative. He said he wanted to open a restaurant, so I think, somewhere, he might actually like cooking--as long as it feeds his ego I guess.

Because he would only like cooking as long as people suck his dick and tell him how good he is at it. Kinda like lets plays. As long as he's top dog, gaming the scene for very little effort (a lot of effort in his dictionary), he loves it. When it gets tough, he breaks.

He wouldnt last in a kitchen for a week, so I understand, but I think somewhere he does consider it one of his only "talents". It's more of a hobby since everyone can cook and everyone eats, so everyone always gets practice, but I feel like that's one of the pillars of his self esteem in a way, why he's always going on about his "italian" sauce. He thinks he's a "better than average" cook, who has 'a secret' (recipe, ingredient, whatever), a good taste or palate--when the reality is that there is no secret, only hard work. It's like art or music.
 
What if Phil wasn't able to duck out from Jaha or any of the other FGC members he pissed off enough to try and fight him IRL and so got a righteous ass whoopin'? Would he be less prone to impulsively talk shit?
 
CartmanKusanagi said:
What if Phil went along with the whole TIHYDP thing and took it in stride when EvilAJ's videos were gaining traction?
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He wouldn't have gone the way of a fullblown lolcow and probably would just be another internet nobody eventually.
 
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