What am I supposed to do in Fargo? - Anti-English Hate More Than Welcome

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Hazel Motes

"I can smell the sin on your breath"
kiwifarms.net
Joined
May 23, 2020
Hello,

A few months back one cold early morn, in a fit of excitement and stupidity, I booked a holiday.

Now, I am not a bright man, nor am I a rational man, so I picked Fargo. I picked Fargo in March. I later had to have the hotel manager tell me straight up that was the worst month to go due to the unpredictable weather. I can not obtain a refund for either my flight or my hotel.

Now £2000 is a lot of money, so I can not back out. And because it has become a thing, I would refuse to take a refund even if offered one.

I once travelled Nashville. I loved it. A bit like Blackpool but all the same the people were lovely. Finest people. The best. Couldn't drink at the time though, real shame. Some barmaid gave me a fake ID of a Mexican living in Detroit. My Geordie accent only carried me so far to one bar before it was taken off me. I have wanted to go back to America ever since.

I love the United States. I really do. I hate admitting that, but I do. If there is an Anglophile, then I am a Yankophile. I also love talking to people. Perhaps that is the reason why I like Americans the most.

Now, I imagine Americans here know Fargo better than me, in a way I know Exeter or Leeds better than many of you. I wanted to advice on what I can do in Fargo in March before I head off. What advice can anyone give me? Don't spoil the place for me. I am sure there is lots to do besides a very cool aircraft museum.

Q&A
Are you an idiot?
Yes.
Are you retarded?
Yes.
Are you autistic?
We've established this.
Have you seen Fargo the movie?
I know of it.
What do you know about Fargo?
The movie.
Why Fargo?
General reasons: The news. Comments online. My dreams.
And why not New York, Las Vegas, or LA?
New York is old hat, I don't gamble enough for Las Vegas, and LA is Hell.
Can you drive?
Yes.
Have you fired a gun?
Sadly not.
Would you like to shoot a gun?
Yes!
Are you English?
Technically I am half a jock, a third paddy, and the rest English (with a smidgen of German).
 
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Never been to Fargo, but while in ND be sure to check out the incredible Geographical Center of North America. It's not so much a tourist trap as it is a very loose tourist net, like a rest stop.
 
Get the nicest possible room at the Jasper Hotel. Buy some art at the fantastic Gallery 4. Eat dinner at Mezzaluna after cocktails at the hotel and check out Sandy's Donuts and Youngblood Coffee the next morning.
Had to spend a night with my mom in that city and found out it's surprisingly nice if you shell out. Hjemkomst Center could be fun if you like history and there's lots of neat public art around Fargo.
 
I hope you like Pancakes, Nigel.

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Fuck me 2 other references while I was fishing for this picture.
 
To Answer you somewhat Seriously:
the Outdoors. You have basically ended up in an area where the outdoors is king.
I am presuming, as you are from the old country you're not exactly a heavy duty backpacker (like ready for 5+days in the backcountry off what you carry) so stick to day hikes.

Consider going East to the Detroit Lakes area in MN and doing some swimming and or fishing

Fargo, like most other places has breweries and taphouses. Go make friends and have some beer.

Bill's Gun Shop and range is where you'd prolly want to shoot as IIRC they had a decent selection or rentals. Check first with them if they'll rent to limeys, ND doesnt have much gun tegulation but there still might be some.

Get ready to see a LOT of open, empty space.
 
I love the United States. I really do. I hate admitting that, but I do. If there is an Anglophile, then I am a Yankophile. I also love talking to people. Perhaps that is the reason why I like Americans the most.
Unfortunately, I can't really offer anything to this thread other than to say I'm looking forward to the outcome of your adventure, sounds like quite a lark. Always hits my feels when Brits enjoy America, we are after all a fellow Anglo country, despite all appearances. Of course, in North Dakota you're much more likely to run into people of German and Scandinavian descent. I hope everything turns out well concerning the weather.
 
Consider going East to the Detroit Lakes area in MN and doing some swimming and or fishing
Fargo in March
no

i don't know a lot about Fargo, but i looked around to see what would be interesting if i were going to plan a trip

Fargo is the largest city in ND and has multiple universities, so if you stay within the city it won't be too much different than visiting any other large midwestern city. you could probably just pick random museums, restaurants, and shops to go to and have a good time

there are multiple indoor shooting ranges, so if you ever wanted to shoot a gun, early spring in the midwest is a good time to try that out

the most historical North Dakota-y thing they have there is probably the Hjemkomst Center, since apparently ND was settled by a large Norwegian population. any ethnic history will more show up in the local architecture and in small things like the last names and food served at small, family-run restaurants, but if you want to see what white people think was cool about their ancestors that would be the place to go

while you're in the midwest, i do recommend you try something called a Supper Club. it's a place where you go to eat food and drink alcohol. is it called a club because they have a membership program? no. do they serve any special kind of food that you can't get anywhere else? no. is the food better than other restaurants? no. how is it different than a normal restaurant? don't worry about it

i can unfortunately only make recommendations from afar, but the most Supper Club-y restaurant i can find on Google Maps that isn't super far from Fargo is Cork'n Cleaver. order the prime rib. enjoy the salad bar. get the local specialty drink, which Google says is Smith & Kearns
 
I wanted to advice on what I can do in Fargo in March before I head off.
What do I look like? I don't arrange that kind of thing.
I later had to have the hotel manager tell me straight up that was the worst month to go due to the unpredictable weather. I can not obtain a refund for either my flight or my hotel.
Well, that don't sound like too good a deal for him then.
 
ND has world class Walleye, Northern Pike, and Smallmouth Bass (and more) fishing waters, if that sounds remotely fun. Although if you aren't already pretty into fishing, I can't say I'd recommend ice fishing in fucking North Dakota as your first introduction to the sport.
 
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Alternatively, catch the train west
I was wondering about this. I recently travelled to Bulgaria. The trains sucked (in a charming way) but I loved it because I received a full flavour of the countryside and when I entered
Veliko Tarnovo late at night, with the lights and the ancient buildings, there was few experience more sublime. I know car is king in America, but what about the trains?

My thanks for the suggestions from everyone else.
 
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I went to the Dakotas a couple years ago and loved them. Fargo is a cute place. If you’re okay with driving, rent a car and cruise. The speed limits are “85” which means I was the slow car at 95. Sioux Falls is a few hours south on a neat stretch of the Mississippi. Theodore Roosevelt National Park, a couple hours west of Fargo, is my favorite and has prairie dogs and wild horses.

Half the fun of being in the US is just driving around it and discovering stuff, I think.
 
Bumping the thread as I travel in less than two weeks and in case anyone else has any good ideas.
Initially I booked a room closer to National Glacier Park, but unfortunately the roof caved in, so I am now in a neighbouring town. This may be for the best as there is a more people around for me to pester.
I am also visiting Jamestown for a day or so. It was either that or Valley City, which I may still visit, but for reasons unknown to me, I settled with Jamestown. I just wanted a small town that really is small.
I am very excited for my holiday. I am bracing for Fargo to have all the sad trapping that plague most Western cities now: the crackheads, the homeless, the chain shops. but I know there’s good people everywhere and that I have never had a bad experience anywhere I have travelled. I’ll make sure to avoid the Minnesota side.
Thanks again.
 
Theodore Roosevelt National Park, a couple hours west of Fargo, is my favorite and has prairie dogs and wild horses.
They also have buffalo, but it's clear on the other side of the state, past Dickenson. You'd be looking at an all-day trip.

What the hotel guy said was correct. The weather is very unreliable those time of year. It's currently 40 there, last week it was -10.

I know car is king in America, but what about the trains?

The only passenger train line is Amtrak, which cuts through the northern part of the state and stops in Minot. Not sure how the trains compare to other places, I've always found them good enough. But the car is king, especially out here.
 
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