What are the best suicide methods

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anliteralidiot
tie a noose out of piano wire
glue your hands to your head
Jump from tall building

The force of the jump would make the piano wire decapitate you, so you would look like you pulled your own head off lol
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Jason Wynn said:
CPAP mask with an airtight seal attacked to a canister of Nitrogen, or even Helium.
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HidekiVonMetternich4real said:
How do I do it right tho? what sort of contraption should i make?
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If you're buying shield gas for MIG/TIG welding, the place you're getting the cylinder will also be able to hook you up with all the necessary fittings, hoses, pressure and flow regulators, etc. to produce a controlled slow and steady flow of gas. They will also likely have a selection of PPE that include breathing protection. Get a supplied-air full-face respirator and swap the hose fittings so you can connect to your nitrogen/argon supply.

You can also skip all that shit and cut the hose off your vacuum cleaner, duck tape it directly to the outlet of the cylinder, shove the open end up into a plastic bag over your head, slightly crack open the cylinder valve, and take a nap.

Or get a small ratchet strap and a pair of socks. Roll each sock into a firm cylinder. Position them on your neck so they will compress the blood vessels when you tighten the ratchet strap. There is video of a kid "debunking" this method and accidentally killing himself.

There are also endless ways to poison yourself with a new hobby if you don't want it to look like intentional suicide.
Take up vaping, try to make your own eJuice, spill nicotine concentrate, clean it up without gloves.
Chacuterie is trendy, try to cure your own meats, use too much sodium nitrite, have a sandwich.
Herbal teas are so soothing. What could be more refreshing than a nice cuppa made from fruit tree leaves you picked yourself? Cyanide compounds? Who knew!
Castor beans contain enough ricin that a few would kill you.
Rosary peas contain enough abrin that one would kill a few of you.
Ever heard of lichtenberg figures? You can make your own with a high voltage transformer crafted from some jumper cables and microwave parts. Careful, though! It won't pull enough amps to trip your breakers if you accidentally shortcircuit it with your body.

Get into autoerotic asphyxiation and accidentally tension hang yourself.

So many options!
 
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For educational purposes only. If you are suicidal please leave this thread and contact appropriate help.

High chance of dying:

Gunshot- you need a high powered gun, head is better than the heart (easy to miss plus there's the annoying ribcage that can get in the way). Most "successful" method in the US where guns are easily to get hold of. Some also chicken out just as they pull the trigger and instead of going through the brain the bullet just blows the face off instead.

Grisly rating- extreme high. Someone has got blood, brains and skull fragments to scrape off the wall and ground as well as dealing with an almost headless corpse. Pure concentrated nightmare fuel here.

Hanging if set up properly- No getting out of the noose once you've committed. Some have also died just from testing out the noose and slipping. Some people think this is about being suffocated but it's about compressing the carotid artery which cuts off blood (and oxygen) to the brain (contrast with execution drop hanging which breaks the neck). Doesn't even need full suspension from the ground the victim is often sitting or kneeling (RIP Chester Bennington). Most "successful" method in the UK where guns are hard to get hold of.

Grisly rating- high. Face turns blue/purple and swells up, eyes pop out of head, if it is days before the body is discovered rot will set in. Unless there's a bag over the head whoever finds this will need therapy to deal with the recurring nightmares this will give them.

Falling from a high building. It needs to be very high just jumping out your 1st floor bedroom window will break your ankle probably. Take care not to land on anyone else though who doesn't want to die just yet.

Grisly rating- high. Splattered body which could be seen by a lot of people.

Low chance of dying:

Overdosing/poison- choice of method for a lot of woman who can't bring themselves to do something "violent" like pull a trigger. Generally it doesn't do much other than cause violent vomiting and painfully fuck up one's liver. Unless one knows what they are doing and has access to certain lab grade poisons you can't buy in Walmart this will just fuck up the body and liver without causing death.

What about opiods overdose? Problem is it's illegal virtually everywhere and you don't know if the stuff you bought from Joe who lives in the bad part of town is 10% pure or 95% pure. A fail can leave you like a vegetable. Also some of the stronger synthetic opiods can be so dangerous they are harmful if simply touched, putting a "danger do not enter without hazmat suit" on one's bedroom door might be helpful here.

Grisly rating- high. Let's clear up a misconception here. Some people (feminists mainly) love to say "women choose more thoughtful methods because they are less violent and care about who will find their body". The corpse of someone who died from poison or an overdose will NOT look like sleeping beauty. Think a blue/purple swollen face that has vomited vomit and blood all over their face, body and floor. The victim will not have the same pretty face as their happy instagram vacation photos and the poor person finding the body will still be traumatized.

Electrouction- Needs to be high otherwise it's just severe burns and shit.

Grisly rating- Scorched and well-done body.

Water intoxication- Yes drinking too much water can cause death. It needs to be a lot and will cause suffering long before you reach the needed amount.

Grisly rating- Don't know. Probably slightly better than the others.

edit- forgot about cutting- Has anyone ever heard of someone who has actually died from cutting their arm? Probably not.

Grisly rating- The jury is undecided on this one on whether self-harm or suicide-attempt cutting scars are "cool".

Honorable mention:

Putting balls in microwave to induce testicular cancer to speed up death and to qualify for medical cannabis- Best leave this for Comedy Central cartoons.

Grisly rating- women love big balls.

tl-dr
Do not commit suicide. Seek help or if you have a terminal and very painful uncurable illness and think euthanasiasia is a legal option contact the people in Switzerland or Netherlands. Life might seem sucky but just take it 1 day at a time and the Grim Reaper will come for us all when we're ready.
 
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Honestly I consider living the modern lifestyle of being fat and unhealthy to be fundamentally suicidal and all obeasts automatically go to hell.
 
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If you decide to cut your forearms be sure to apply enough force, nothing more embarrassing than having to call the paramedics because you failed to bleed out.

so I've been told
 
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