What are the clams plotting?

[Pharaoh Fungus]

I hear rumblings that the clams are up to something. I don't know what those bivalvic assholes are up to, but it can't be anything not-sinister. What are they plotting? What is their end goal?

 

[Shidoen]

The clams are going to lead to a drought in Poland.

 

[Open Window Maniac]

They won't say. They've clammed up about it.

 

[Formerly Trucks]

A casino, probably

 

[Agent Abe Caprine]

The clams are planning to get everyone to clam down.

 

[Tragi-Chan]

As in, the Scientologists? Keep hold of their 16 remaining members I guess.

 

[Amphotericin B]

They work hard to filter the water and they’re sick of being taken for granted. Why should those problematic zebra mussels get all the attention for all the wrong reasons?

The clams are sick of earning their keep, toiling away in the sand beds while zebra mussels get to live in cozy infrastructure for free.

The clams are quietly preparing for bivalve holy race war. They’re going to secure the existence of their mollusks and the future of their clam children.