What are your restaurant red flags?

[Caesare]

It's not just the restaurant that got gentrified, it's the entire street. In the 2007 picture I see a used car lot(?) and a cheap mexican restaurant and in the newest one it's expensive gentrified property. Gentrification rips the soul out of everything, doesn't it?

Not really gentrification in most cases when people call it that. I know in this particular example, you're talking about a Mexican neighborhood, I think, which I don't know anything about so I wont comment on that example. But most of the times, when people talk about a formerly "black" area being gentrified, it's not that at all. It's merely white people taking back an area that was formerly white to begin with. I don't like those areas to become "too expensive", I'd like it more if they'd be white middle class/working class urban areas like they were originally, but progress is progress.

Blacks and their "allies" have no leg to stand on bitching about "gentrification" when they are the outsiders. The blacks usually moved to the cities from the sticks looking for opportunity, sometime in the 1960s through the 1980s. None of these black "gentrified" neighborhoods were originally black areas. The whites moving back is just these old neighborhoods getting their character and dignity back.

 

[NOT Sword Fighter Super]

View attachment 3054443
This was a pretty big one. Or should I have been happy about the free extra protein?

Poor guy.
Eat his body in tribute.

 

[Colonel Gaddafi]

At this point if you want me to eat Sushi you have to fly me to Japan.

I’m fed up of the best case scenario of sushi here being a plain salmon on rice with a smidge of wasabi as an optional side and the worst being food poisoning.

At this point I don’t trust anyone saying they love sushi to have functioning taste buds unless they’re a huge weeb who has been to nipland because it seems even Japanese immigrants just don’t bother when they come over here.


Otherwise I’m actually quite lax and will be newly taking all the advice from this thread in the future.

Sushi purists who pitch a fit because cream cheese or spicy mayo is in their maki are pretty cringy. Whenever ethnic foods are exported they’re tailored to fit local tastes. Most Japs would be surprised to learn Americans don’t eat potatoes or eggplant on pizza. Some of the best sushi I’ve ever had was while I was living in Ukraine, and it’s pretty far from what’s served in Japan. My country’s ethnic food is never served the way it would be back home, but I think it’s pretty cool other countries do their own thing with it.

That being said, proper traditional sashimi and maki does exist in the US, but you’re probably going to have to go to a nice Japanese restaurant to find it. Most of these places that specialize in rolls and hibachi aren’t going to have the best selection of authentic sushi.

 

[A.P. Hill]

Another Mexican restaurant one: Order the house margarita. If you taste store-bought sour mix (very obvious, tastes a lot like Gatorade), leave. The food is most likely overpriced slop on a tortilla. Sour mix is not hard or time-consuming to make and a restaurant using store brand shows you how much effort they're putting into the food.

 

[No Batty Boys in Jamaica]

Here are some green flags in my opinion. Not sure if other people feel the same way:

Non-seafood places near the beach. Mexican, Pizza, Chinese, Indian, Barbecue, all are better by the beach. The tourists are at the seafood places stuffing their faces with crabs and lobsters. If you’re staying by the beach for more than a few days, or if all the seafood places are booked, hit up a Mexican joint. The seafood often isn’t as fresh as they make it seem anyways.

Ethnic food linked to a specific region or small country. Like the Nepalese buffet serving Indo-Pak, or the Hyderabad restaurant is better than generic Indian place. Or the Salvadoran restaurant is better than the Mexican restaurant that does Tex Mex. Fuck texmex unless it’s Taco Bell.

For food in the ghetto, the more dangerous the location, the better the food (this is especially true for Jamaican food).

The restaurant doesn’t have a bar, or the bar isn’t the centerpiece of the restaurant. Bar food sucks donkey dick.

Owner’s first name is not in the restaurant.

Not centered around a single meme dish.

And ofc if you’re the only white person there you’ve probably found a good restaurant, unless it’s burgers or barbecue in which case you want either all white people or all black people.

Not featured on any of the Food Network shows.

Not a Wahlburgers.

I’m not a really picky eater. Food is good.

 

[MuuMuu Bunnylips]

thank you.
I always order nigiri. Sometimes I get a craving for a weird roll but when I do, I make absolutely sure that it's got the actual fish in it (not the gross tube-squeeze 'tuna' ) and that there's no fucking disgusting spicy mayo shit on it.

I've always found tuna kind of nasty anyway - just a wet gummy sensation.

There's nothing wrong with a simple salmon combo, either: nigiri, maki and a roll with a bit of avocado for texture. Twenty pieces and nice and filling.

 

[Diet Purple Pepsi]

Mexican food where the only taco or enchilada meat options are chicken, cheese, or beef. That and any kind of breakfast taco, unless it's Tex-Mex.

 

[𝕺𝖑' 𝕯𝖎𝖗𝖙𝖞 𝕱𝖆𝖙𝖘𝖔]

Another Mexican restaurant one: Order the house margarita. If you taste store-bought sour mix (very obvious, tastes a lot like Gatorade), leave. The food is most likely overpriced slop on a tortilla. Sour mix is not hard or time-consuming to make and a restaurant using store brand shows you how much effort they're putting into the food.

Bars that don't use fresh limes and lemons are a red flag in general. Margaritas should be tequila, fresh lime juice and either orange liqueur (bonus points for cointreau) or agave nectar.

 

[murph]

Restaurants where the waitstaff seem numb or on the verge of tears.

The most depressing restaurant I ever went to was a steakhouse that was so dark you couldn't read the menu or see who was sitting across from you, and the waiter was very polite but also seemed a lot like Lurch. Food was okay but the atmosphere was so dismal it seemed abusive to return and force them to serve me again.

 

[A.P. Hill]

Bars that don't use fresh limes and lemons are a red flag in general. Margaritas should be tequila, fresh lime juice and either orange liqueur (bonus points for cointreau) or agave nectar.

I've seen bars making fresh sour mix by juicing the fruit and mixing the sugar in, so I don't really fault them when they do that since most people like their margaritas/sours sweeter than I do. But I totally agree, if the fruit juice at a bar comes out of a bottle that's a major red flag for not only the drinks but the food too.

 

[Kill a Troon for Pikamee]

No Michelin Star