What can I do to appease that weird bird in the ceiling?

[Irrational Bounty Hunter]

This morning, I was woken up by the sound of a strange, repetitive, bird chirp that would repeat every once in a while. I thought maybe it had found its way into the attic and would eventually find its way back out, but after returning home today, it's still there. How do I appease that weird bird? Can I feed it?

 

[Tablet County]

You can. It hungers for AA batteries.

 

[Daddy's Angry Juice]

We of the Cherokee tribe made peace with sky bird long ago. There is a great tale of the great Chief Walks-With-Bluejays, where he encounters a sky bird that never stops his chirping.

He asks the Great Bird in the sky why the sky bird never ceases his chirping, the Great Bird says to him "you must feed him as you do the Earth around you, with nickel-metal hydride."

It was only then young warrior knew what to do, he fed the sky bird with a battery (a weapon borrowed of the Duracell tribe) and the chirping ceased to be. The tribe went on with their peaceful ways of pillaging and rape, and the sky bird watched on happily.

 

[Sparkletor 2.0]

Hit it with a broom until it is quiet. Just like those pesky neighbor children.

 

[Just A Fat Round Bird]

I can help you with your problem for the low low price of 50% of all your current and future belongings! What a bargain!

You can. It hungers for AA batteries.

No, the illusive creature tends to specializes in 9V blocks!

 

[dick brain]

It wants a cigarette.

 

[not william stenchever]

The only reason you don't hear the ocean chirping is because many like myself appease its' hunger with car batteries. The electric eels ain't gonna recharge themselves.

 

[stares at error messages]

Hit it with a bat until it shuts the fuck up. That's what I do. I have not had problems since.