What cult would you join if you had to join a cult? - Scientology is on the decline, whats the next fad?

[Sailor Kim Jong Moon]

If you had to join an already established cult - which one?

I’m defining cults as anything that is explicitly religious (Troons/SJWs etc don’t count) or involves a creation/doomsday mythos. So, if it’s technically not religious but believes reptile aliens will send an asteroid to destroy earth on 2/22/2022 then yes - it’s a cult. The cult must have a few followers to qualify.

Major religions don’t count either. Leave the Catholics, Jews, Muslims, and snake handlers out of this please.

Bonus points if the cult has an insane web presence like Heaven’s Gate.

 

[DumbDude42]

any cults out there that have right wing death squads for me to join?

 

[King Fructose]

 

[Distant Ranger]

Does Himlers sect of the SS count?

If so, I choose that. We wuz Hyperboreans and sheeit

 

[byuu]

Cathboylism

 

[Lovecraft's Cat]

I'd join a Kemetic Black Nationalist commune, as they'd let me anti-semitic

 

[MrTroll]

Scientology. It would be an honor to pay for auditing sessions by scrubbing toilets at one of Tom Cruise's vacation homes.

 

[Jason Wynn]

Thelema

It’s the “sex and drugs and rock & roll” of cults. Plus it really triggers the Wiccans so that’ll be fun.

 

[Kosher Dill]

Doesn't matter what cult you join, all prayers for the past few decades have been going to CPU Goddess Blue Heart anyway.

 

[Iron Jaguar]

NXIVM

 

[Look over there]

The virgin joining a cult vs the chad starting a cult.

 

[zero-who]

Blue Öyster Cult. Don't fear the Reaper, baby.

 

[Pocket Dragoon]

What cult is there besides the internet? Social media is the new grift, and memes are how it propagates & proselytizes.

 

[Penis Drager]

any cults out there that have right wing death squads for me to join?

Order of 9 Angles but they glow with the radiance of a thousand supernovae.

 

[Sperghetti]

Unarius. Hands down.

 

[David Brown]

Order of 9 Angles but they glow with the radiance of a thousand supernovae.

Yeah they are more like Retard Wigger Dumbass Squads

 

[Idiot Doom Spiral]

I understand Heaven’s Gate still exist; or at least, someone is keeping their message going online.

Always fancied grabbing a pair of those discontinued Nikes they all died wearing.

 

[Robert w'E'd Leef]

one of the ancient roman mystery cults. Seems fun

 

[Sir Bartleby Montclair]

Jehovah's Witness. I grew up with a Jehovah's Witness and she got out of everything. They're not allowed to do shit. She didn't have to stand for the pledge. She didn't have to participate in any holiday shit because holidays aren't allowed. I would love more than anything to have a polite excuse to not go to company Christmas parties or Thanksgiving gatherings. All that for a cult that's pretty tame as far as cults go. No harm to myself until I can't get a blood transfusion.

 

[XYZpdq]

I'm already spoken for.