I’m going to do my best to not beat around the bush... for any prospective transmen, men won’t help you if you pass... there is no brotherhood or bro code. Men don’t give each other emotional or physical support
at all unless they’re very close ie siblings, best friends, or a gay couple
. I’ve found that some transmen were expecting to hack ‘the patriarchy’ and were surprised how cold men, especially heterosexual men, are to each other. There’s a reason that militaries, gangs, and fraternities try to play off being a larger brotherhood or family because outside of those sort of institutions there is
nothing. Brotherhood is largely a work of fiction found in action films and fantasy novellas.
A lot of transmen expect life to be easier but having a dick won’t help you skirt the rules. 99/100 if a guy gets away with something it’s because they’re loaded with cash or more likely their parents are. If a parent says ‘boys will be boys’ what they mean is that they suck at parenting and are incapable of holding their children accountable. If they have daughters they’re likely to be off the wall nuts too and will say something along the lines of ‘you know how kids are...’ If you’re poor and expecting to play off the patriarchy to get out of a speeding ticket, you’ll have another thing coming.
There’s an
interesting book if you’d like a read on this subject in more detail.
The other thing to keep in mind is if you pass, men are
more likely to target you violently, especially if you’re living in a poor community and seen as weak ie a smaller gay man. The vast majority of murders are men on men violence. A lot of criminals like to target smaller and weaker men because that’s seen more positively in certain circles than going after women or children.
Even the threat of sexual violence won’t go away, especially in locker room type environments and in poorer communities,. A lot of rape is more about humiliation and hurting the victim than it is about sexual attraction. It can also happen as part of hazing and as a way to create a pecking order, and some sports teams basically treat it as an unofficial rite of passage.... So trooning out to avoid sexual assault is not the best idea either,
especially if you are attending high school or university, are in a poor community, active in sports, smaller than the average male, come across as a gay man, and intend on using the male locker room.
Lastly, if you’re trying to live out a gay sexual fantasy, you’ll find that gay men will not be interested in you, you’d have better luck with bi men and if you haven’t surgically altered your vagina straight men.. Honestly, your best shot would be to not transition and just find a guy that likes less feminine women (they exist, especially in IT and nerdy circles) who’d be willing to role play behind closed doors. You can get off your rocks, can avoid costly/ineffective surgery, and live a relatively normal life.
There’s nothing wrong with having more male friends (make sure to set boundaries and avoid Chris Chan tier autists), liking male interests, or even preferring men’s clothing (better pockets). It doesn’t make you less of a woman or less of a person and anyone who tells you otherwise can fuck off.
