What do people look for in a partner?

The Knife said:
This is going to sound like sappy bullshit but loving someone tends to make them beautiful. If you're in love with a 5 or 6, you reach the point where that 5 or 6 is the most beautiful creature in the world and you can't imagine them looking any other way. What they look like has become part of what you love, no matter if it's a 2 or a 10. In that way, it honestly doesn't matter where they started out, because they're going to turn into your 10 anyway.
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There was this guy I liked in my old workplace, he was pretty cute, kinda nerdy looking to me. But then all the girls in the place liked him too. He was the kind of guy who loved himself way too much, and boasted about all the great things he has done, and how girls would follow him around when he went traveling. That should of been a sign that he wouldn't like someone like me, but I still liked him and wished he would notice me. Anyway a colleague/friend knew I liked him, and what has happened to me in the past, and I thought she would keep it a secret. But instead one day as I was working in one of the aisles behind one he was working in, I heard her tell him all the things I told her about my me liking him, and also what happened to me.

It ended up that he would give me this face as if he was disgusted every time I saw him, and was dirty. I've seen those looks a lot from friends I trusted, and all the other crap they say without even needing to say it. And now I have those thoughts in my head all the time that the same will happen again, and I will end up dying alone with nobody, but cats and a couple of dogs. Not that I am being rude about pet owners, but I just want someone to share my life with, and love.
 
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silentprincess said:
There was this guy I liked in my old workplace, he was pretty cute, kinda nerdy looking to me. But then all the girls in the place liked him too. He was the kind of guy who loved himself way too much, and boasted about all the great things he has done, and how girls would follow him around when he went traveling. That should of been a sign that he wouldn't like someone like me, but I still liked him and wished he would notice me. Anyway a colleague/friend knew I liked him, and what has happened to me in the past, and I thought she would keep it a secret. But instead one day as I was working in one of the aisles behind one he was working in, I heard her tell him all the things I told her about my me liking him, and also what happened to me.

It ended up that he would give me this face as if he was disgusted every time I saw him, and was dirty. I've seen those looks a lot from friends I trusted, and all the other crap they say without even needing to say it. And now I have those thoughts in my head all the time that the same will happen again, and I will end up dying alone with nobody, but cats and a couple of dogs. Not that I am being rude about pet owners, but I just want someone to share my life with, and love.
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Silent, that guy is an asshole with no empathy. The way he handled that situation is all the proof you need. Don't let one run in with an asshole scare you from trying again. It really sucks when stuff like that happens (I understand, trust me). And that colleage is an untrustwothy person. She probably did what she did to try to "get him", which is disgusting. It's not your fault, those two are just really shitty people.

Again, don't let it scare you from trying again. It's really easy to get flooded with negative thoughts and let the self doubt eat you alive. You're a lovely person! Just ask in chat! :tomgirl:
 
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silentprincess said:
There was this guy I liked in my old workplace, he was pretty cute, kinda nerdy looking to me. But then all the girls in the place liked him too. He was the kind of guy who loved himself way too much, and boasted about all the great things he has done, and how girls would follow him around when he went traveling. That should of been a sign that he wouldn't like someone like me, but I still liked him and wished he would notice me. Anyway a colleague/friend knew I liked him, and what has happened to me in the past, and I thought she would keep it a secret. But instead one day as I was working in one of the aisles behind one he was working in, I heard her tell him all the things I told her about my me liking him, and also what happened to me.

It ended up that he would give me this face as if he was disgusted every time I saw him, and was dirty. I've seen those looks a lot from friends I trusted, and all the other crap they say without even needing to say it. And now I have those thoughts in my head all the time that the same will happen again, and I will end up dying alone with nobody, but cats and a couple of dogs. Not that I am being rude about pet owners, but I just want someone to share my life with, and love.
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There, there. You don't have to face such an experience alone. I've been victim to that scenario about seven-fold. I don't know if that's any consolation to you, but... You aren't alone.
 
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I was wondering if because everyone thinks I'm super sweet and kind, if that would turn a man off?
 
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silentprincess said:
I was wondering if because everyone thinks I'm super sweet and kind, if that would turn a man off?
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You sound just like my mirror, you know that? lol Anyway, that's one of the biggest reasons I like my waifu, so... I'd say not.
 
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that chick aint special. go get that man.

i suck at relationships, but im good at getting the people im interested in's attention. it CAN be fun, win or lose.

sweet and nice is best most of he time, but in certain situations not so much.
 
silentprincess said:
I was wondering if because everyone thinks I'm super sweet and kind, if that would turn a man off?
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No. Those are wifey qualities. Besides being nice is underrated.

And don't let those cunts mess with you or your self esteem. Part of confidence is how you handle rejection. I actually prefer this type of rejection because it leaves no reasonable room for you to question yourself. Obviously, this guys an asshole and so is that colleague. Don't let his insecurities give you new ones.
 
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silentprincess said:
There was this guy I liked in my old workplace, he was pretty cute, kinda nerdy looking to me. But then all the girls in the place liked him too. He was the kind of guy who loved himself way too much, and boasted about all the great things he has done, and how girls would follow him around when he went traveling. That should of been a sign that he wouldn't like someone like me, but I still liked him and wished he would notice me. Anyway a colleague/friend knew I liked him, and what has happened to me in the past, and I thought she would keep it a secret. But instead one day as I was working in one of the aisles behind one he was working in, I heard her tell him all the things I told her about my me liking him, and also what happened to me.

It ended up that he would give me this face as if he was disgusted every time I saw him, and was dirty. I've seen those looks a lot from friends I trusted, and all the other crap they say without even needing to say it. And now I have those thoughts in my head all the time that the same will happen again, and I will end up dying alone with nobody, but cats and a couple of dogs. Not that I am being rude about pet owners, but I just want someone to share my life with, and love.
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Reading it again, i think you might be seeing something in it that isnt like that. Very few people i know will act grossed out at a crush, even if uninterested. Unless you did something like a cwc red string or he is like ten years old, it might just be in your head. Say hi to him one day, it cant hurt. Either he will be nice because he likes you just fine, or he will already find you disgusting so you cant make it any worse. Either way you look better for having done it.
 
I don't really know what I look for. I've never made the first approach, an never ended a relationship either, so I've really been a mere passenger in the relationship game!
The ladies it tends to go best with for me tend to be independent, with a great sense of humour, and strong opinions.
I went out with a girl once who was actually great in every aspect except for the fact that she never laughed. It didn't last long, because we just couldn't connect over humour, although I wasn't the one that ended it. Those are the moments that cement relationships I think, those moments where you're both helpless with laughter.
 
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When I was told that men do not like women who worry, or women who have have mental health issues from people I know. These are the same people who told me about the levels, and being too nice is a turn off for men. All these were told to me by both my sisters boyfriend who raped me, the bullies in school, the colleagues, and my step brother who sexually abused me.

Why do people say things like that, don't they know how damaging it is to people? I thought I would let you all know this, and I hope I haven't upset anybody, made anybody uncomfortable, or given you all the wrong impression. If I have I am so very sorry for doing so, that is not a nice person for doing that.
 
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silentprincess said:
When I was told that men do not like women who worry, or women who have have mental health issues from people I know. These are the same people who told me about the levels, and being too nice is a turn off for men. All these were told to me by both my sisters boyfriend who raped me, the bullies in school, the colleagues, and my step brother who sexually abused me.

Why do people say things like that, don't they know how damaging it is to people? I thought I would let you all know this, and I hope I haven't upset anybody, made anybody uncomfortable, or given you all the wrong impression. If I have I am so very sorry for doing so, that is not a nice person for doing that.
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People are odd to say the least. What one man finds attractive another man finds repulsive. Men woman we are all the same in that regard. People usually give advice based on there perception of the world. My taste in woman is different then another mans. I tend not to give advice in such matters due to the fact that what is good for me is not what is good for you.

I can tell you that people are willing to over look things in relationships that they normally would not like if there are other qualities that make up for it. For example i can not stand my wifes profession but her creative mind and loving personality make up for it. (and the fact she puts up with me;)

Some people are honestly trying to help others are just destructive people who want to pull you down with them.

You (and i have said this before and will say it again) are one of the single nicest people i have ever known. I am a very cold and jaded person who has little faith in people but you are one of those rare people who i really believe has a good heart,

Your "mental health issues" and "worrying" pale in comparison to your kind empathetic nature. More often then not Men (like woman) want to feel loved, respected, and important to the other person they are with. I have no doubt in my mind that you can not offer someone those wonderful gifts, the hard part is going to be finding somone that is worthy of you and someone that will not try to take advantage of your kindness.

I am terribly sorry you were abused, my wife was also betrayed by a loved one and i have seen how deep those scars can go. I wish there was something i could say or do to help but i fear my skill set is to limited :(

Keep your chin up my friend you are a very unique/special (not in a chris way ;) ) person. who i have very high respects for. You just need to start seeing yourself for how wonderful you really are.
 
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