What do people look for in a partner?

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@silentprincess, I guess mst3kluv bumped your thread. I hadn't seen it before. I hope that things are going better for you! The best advice I can give is to look forward and not back. The people who hurt you did indeed hurt you, but you don't need to let them have any more of your life than they've already taken. In my opinion the best thing you can do is be happier, more successful, and more awesome than they could ever hope to be.
 
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In all honesty, my "type" seems to be someone with a strong independent streak and a lot of passion; the word "chaotic" often comes to mind. That's not to say that I want someone insane, destructive, or into weird shit, of course. I want someone who doesn't always agree with me and who has a sense of humor. Obviously, I look for physical attractiveness in a woman, but that quality isn't nearly as difficult to find as the type of personality that I'm attracted to.
 
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I'm voluntarily celibate at least until I can relocate.
If I was looking, I'd want someone who won't cheat, lets me have my space when I need it, was funny, intelligent and liked at least some of the same things I do.
 
They have to have the same level of sperginess as me (less makes me self-conscious and more is irritating), not repulsive to look at, and capable of paying half the bills without being nagged.
 
i needed someone to feed


my currently girlfriend and i pretty much have nothing in common but my protection psychosis and compulsion to teach overlaps nicely with her fear of everything and desire for constant security.

4 years, yo. it's about finding someone who's insanity is a good match for your own, in my experience.
 
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I think people look for partners that share similar attributes to them, and can understand what they're going through in life.

Then there's also attractiveness.
 
If you and another person mutually respect and like on another, that's more than enough. Having identical interests and attributes helps but it isn't what makes or breaks a relationship I've discovered.
 
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All I'm looking for is a guy with set, professional goals, who can see above the shallow, vain stereotypes that involves being... well, non-heterosexual. Maturity, free of vices and addictions, and always looking to expand our horizons together, as I'm intending to do myself.

Then again, I also am only interested on above-average looking guys my own age, which may make me a hypocrite, regarding those shallow traits in the LGBT community, I guess (but then again, straight guys only want hot women anyway, so is that hipocrisy? Or just nature? I don't know). I'm not sure if I'm being too conservative while still wishing a more liberal world for everyone in all aspects.

That has made me realize my 'love-quest' would be redundant and a waste of time since I was 20, which has helped me focus on my career and financial future; to hell if I'm 'forever alone', all I need is my friends and family.

I am becoming asexual, though. Which may not be so bad when I think about it.
 
I think the key element that makes a good partner and for a solid relationship is maturity. Thats what I look for, atleast.
 
I look for women I have equal respect for. If I can't respect them, I won't date them. Being forgiving and having good open communication is very good. One thing I've noticed with women I've dated before is that they tend to not realize the greatest allies they have, they think they are alone. In my case it was me, the boyfriend and her parents. Some people are very reasonable, they will understand, give you the benefit of the doubt and not look to put you down every time you trip up. Many young women I know would be much better off if they stopped trying to impress the people who hurt them and start leaning on the ones who keep raising them up.

So yeah, respect, forgiveness, understanding and good communication.
 
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What I look for a partner is their cultural background and character. I find women who are very outgoing, rational, athletic, funny, etc. the list goes on and on, to be awesome. Appearance wise I like women who I find to be cute. What I mean I by culture is that I want to have a tight nit family that is cultural like traditional, harmony, and what not. Kind of ironic since I don't identify as traditional.
 
I started reading this thread this afternoon, started getting the feels but had to go to work and now I'm back and I kinda forgot what I wanted to say, so excuse the derping.

Anyway, being in the "Over 30 and Romantically/Sexually Challanged" club, I wonder what I'm looking for myself.

I can only give a rough outline of the kinds of women I would be attracted to, based on whatever small past experiences I've had. But so far, all I know is that if you're the kind of woman that has the kind of humor and wit that most people mistake you for being "a bitch", yet you care deeply for those whom are close to you, you love pets, is kind of eccentric, creative, have your own sense of style, intelligent and likes to talk about such things, nerdy, etc. Then I have a ring in my pocket, standing by. But again, this is probably just a rough outline.

Like Silentprincess, I wonder just how fucked up I must be and how that can drive potential partners away.

I've heard said many times that for the most part, women won't point and laugh at you or even give a shit if you're over 30 and never had sex before. But it's always along the lines of "well maybe he had a strong religious upbringing or he's demisexual and just didn't want to give it up so easily". However, if it's because you've had personal issues, used to be a wizard/incel/loveshy, had anxiety issues preventing you from learning how to be social, etc. Welp, it seems like you're fucked. So if it got to the point where the fucked up person decided that enough was enough, somehow got his head out of his ass and started working on reaching some point of semblance to being a functional adult, what would be the point if it seems like your past is one giant red flag? That's how I feel.

The thing is that, for one part I know that in my current state, I can't hope to maintain any kind of relationship because my insecurities and anxieties will fuck it all up. Yet, I'm still wary of going to a shrink. I guess a part of me feels like I deserve to suffer, that getting help would be the final admission that I am a failure, I'll lose the only thing about myself that I'm proud of (which is my talent for writing), I won't be able to decide to die like Hunter S. Thompson when things get bad,etc. I sometimes even wonder if I have a right to feel like I do, seeing as how there are people who have legitimate reasons for feeling like they do, whereas the only reason I feel bad is because I let my fears get the best of me and I was the unpopular kid at school.

Yeah, sorry about that.
 
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