What do you think is the worst DSP playthrough?

[Eugene Drizzledick]

Not even getting into all the racing games, sports are by far the thing he's worst at.

Phil is somehow even worse at racing games. In all games with driving, he doesn't understand how turning or drifting works. He's like how I played racing games when I was a little kid, going full speed while blissfully unaware of what traction is. He must be an awful driver IRL.

He always plays MLB on Beginner along with bumped up sliders. As a hardcore MLB player, it always irks me seeing him make a mockery of the game. There's so much more than mindlessly hitting X.

He's worst with FIFA, though. Because Phil doesn't know basic soccer rules. He does know the very basics with baseball.

 

[This comment matters]

Phil is somehow even worse at racing games. In all games with driving, he doesn't understand how turning or drifting works. He's like how I played racing games when I was a little kid, going full speed while blissfully unaware of what traction is. He must be an awful driver IRL.

He always plays MLB on Beginner along with bumped up sliders. As a hardcore MLB player, it always irks me seeing him make a mockery of the game. There's so much more than mindlessly hitting X.

He's worst with FIFA, though. Because Phil doesn't know basic soccer rules. He does know the very basics with baseball.

The VERY very basics. Didn't he call a double something super autistic like a "two baser" or something last time?

 

[Slander Man]

The Rage playthrough on his PC. Starts first mission, game pauses to tell him how to loot dead bodies by pressing A, "okay", walks right past the body the game put in front of him to loot. He exclusively used his pistol the first hour or two despite having an AR, a combat shotgun, and a double barrel shotgun that he got for preordering. Never used grenades or wingsticks.

But here is the biggest reason this was his worst playthrough, the game was blue as fuck. BLUE! This is when he still used a camera to record the screen. He never fixed it through the whole playthrough and the viewers could barely see shit. He would even talk about how great the graphics were on his PC.

 

[actually]

The VERY very basics. Didn't he call a double something super autistic like a "two baser" or something last time?

He also does not understand the concept of doing anything but throwing the ball to 1st base when fielding. Even when doing the fielding drills as a 1st baseman that ostensibly teach you about the different potential scenarios, he would literally just field the ball and run to 1st. No matter what. Every time.

He understand the basics of baseball the same way a toddler understands the basics of walking. They can do enough to be functional, but they have no idea of the actual mechanics and don't attempt anything more complex than the bare minimum.

 

[Massively Strong Greed]

The Rage playthrough on his PC. Starts first mission, game pauses to tell him how to loot dead bodies by pressing A, "okay", walks right past the body the game put in front of him to loot. He exclusively used his pistol the first hour or two despite having an AR, a combat shotgun, and a double barrel shotgun that he got for preordering. Never used grenades or wingsticks.

But here is the biggest reason this was his worst playthrough, the game was blue as fuck. BLUE! This is when he still used a camera to record the screen. He never fixed it through the whole playthrough and the viewers could barely see shit. He would even talk about how great the graphics were on his PC.

Remember how “chahpee” the game was on the 5k lemon? It made me want to ACK ACK ACK.

 

[Faded]

mario sunshine

 

[Synth]

mario sunshine

This playthrough is fucking amazing for many reasons, but my favorite is that during his quest to pass one particular platforming area, DSP tries to physically look around a wall on a 2D television screen because he doesn't like how the camera is. Not only is that some shit that children do because they still haven't fully grasped that it's a 3D projection on a 2D surface, but he does it multiple fucking times.

From 0utsyder's TIHYDP Part 2:
Timestamp is at 6:10, but Dave also tries to look around the wall at 7:35. Just watch his face in the camera, it's so fucking hilarious to me.

 

[Kiwi_Bot#Ur_M0M]

I have trouble pinning down 1 so I will just give a moment that pissed me off/made me cringe the hardest; His first encounter with Orphan of Kos.
His giant ego was front and center as he was so confident his acting skills would fool everybody into thinking he was legitimately surprised or unaware of what was about to happen or that he hadn't watched several break downs of how the battle would play out.
It really cemented my disdain towards him.

 

[Vic Viper T301]

Lots of the major entries have been said already, so I'm going to go with Mega Man 5. Phil played all the NES Mega Man games in a row one summer back when he was still doing LPs with a camcorder aimed at his TV and they are all awful, but 5 was the worst. He used a walkthrough for the boss order of course, but he also wasted tons of time getting the collectibles in each stage that give you Beat. At one point he was reading out loud from the walkthrough and complaining that the guide is wrong about the location of a hidden collectible (spoiler: the guide was not wrong, Phil is an idiot). Also he frivolously wasted all his energy tanks and died a bunch of times on the final boss, wasting five minutes farming energy between each attempt. It was a disgrace of an LP.

 

[Borzoi]

All his Persona playthroughs were incredibly boring in the daytime parts and incredibly frustrating in the nighttime/combat parts. Constantly forgetting what shadows were weak against what type, constantly forgetting what his personas were weak against what type, etc. It was funny the first few dozen times but then you realized he is legitimately that stupid/uncaring.

I think Persona 5 tops the cringe factor for Phil with his extremely unfunny sex jokes, and the fact that he laughed at an attempted suicide victim. He also picked Persona 4 on the PS2 simply because he was too lazy to plug in his Vita for Golden that had more content and "fixed" some of the more frustrating aspects of vanilla. Of course, we all remember his Nyx ragequit that he restarted and grinded ON EASY a year later.

The fact that he kept suiciding his characters even after people told him how to avoid it was fucking amazing. I know he was on easy but by the end of the game you should know how tactics work, there is literally a do nothing option and the option to change the entire squads tactics at the same time but he opted to change them in the longest way possible by selecting each character individually and then switching them to heal/support rather than do nothing so they STILL killed themselves on Nyx.

Oh and his ruining of the best soundtrack in the series with his retarded noises was unforgivable.

 

[Wurstbrot]

Lots of the major entries have been said already, so I'm going to go with Mega Man 5. Phil played all the NES Mega Man games in a row one summer back when he was still doing LPs with a camcorder aimed at his TV and they are all awful, but 5 was the worst. He used a walkthrough for the boss order of course, but he also wasted tons of time getting the collectibles in each stage that give you Beat. At one point he was reading out loud from the walkthrough and complaining that the guide is wrong about the location of a hidden collectible (spoiler: the guide was not wrong, Phil is an idiot). Also he frivolously wasted all his energy tanks and died a bunch of times on the final boss, wasting five minutes farming energy between each attempt. It was a disgrace of an LP.

This reminds me of one of these Mega Man X games where he constantly jumped in Sigma's face, unable to dodge his attacks because he forgot he could wall jump. He wasted so much time, it hurt.

Or let me remind you all of his Bayonetta playthrough where he couldn't find the hole in the fence in the very first map and wasted - what - 15 to 20 minutes jumping and shooting around like an idiot (it's a bug dood!) ? Or the time when he wasted another lifetime jumping and shooting around because he forgot he could walk on walls, so basically just again, wall jump?
Or when he wasted hours failing at the optional special-rule fights, just because he is some kind of worst achievement hunter in the cosmos.
Oh, he also used basically just one weapon the entire time.
I think Bayonetta (1 or 2? Can't remember) was the biggest pile of garbage he put together. Painful, absolute lack of awareness and thinking for himself. This happens when there is no chat to handhold an adult, the "average gamer".

More like the worst generation of gamers who is responsible for some dumbed-down games these days despite the fact he experienced the old school era of hard videas. How does this even work?! Wasn't there the rumor he is the reason Half Life invented automated crouch jump?

However, at least playthroughs like them had comedic value, just undisturbed Phil, failing on his own by trying to think for himself. Now chat ruins everything.

Edit: Forget Bayonetta. Duck Tales it is! Annoying insult throwing clown mode for "special kids". A playthrough which is so bad it would convince a higher alien race to wipe out mankind for our own good.
Phil uploaded that and thought it was good. I just can't. I could give him the benefit of the doubt if this was one of his earlies and he lacked experience and knowledge, but it was not. It was not...

 

[Vic Viper T301]

Or let me remind you all of his Bayonetta playthrough where he couldn't find the hole in the fence in the very first map and wasted - what - 15 to 20 minutes jumping and shooting around like an idiot (it's a bug dood!) ? Or the time when he wasted another lifetime jumping and shooting around because he forgot he could walk on walls, so basically just again, wall jump?
Or when he wasted hours failing at the optional special-rule fights, just because he is some kind of worst achievement hunter in the cosmos.
Oh, he also used basically just one weapon the entire time.
I think Bayonetta (1 or 2? Can't remember) was the biggest pile of garbage he put together. Painful, absolute lack of awareness and thinking for himself. This happens when there is no chat to handhold an adult, the "average gamer".

Oh man, I forgot about Bayonetta. That was a disaster. It's not just that he used the whip and the ice skates for the majority of the game, it's that these are both gimmick weapons that are designed for very specific purposes which he never figured out. The whip is only good for its grab attacks. Just mashing out attack strings is the complete, 100% wrong way to use it. Versus large enemies that can't be grabbed normally, it's almost completely worthless since it's slow and does very little damage. The ice skates are gimmickky too. They do hardly any damage but can freeze enemies in ice if you hit them many times quickly. So ideally you're supposed to abuse multi-hitting moves like the 360 spin to freeze them quickly, then you can do whatever you want while they're stuck in a block of ice.

So basically Phil used the weapons you're supposed to use against the trashiest of trash mobs against bosses and tough enemies, and much whining and gnashing of teeth was had. It played out like a game of Doom would if you only used the pistol.

 

[Takayuki Yagami]

Bayonetta. If you spend 10 Fucking minutes wandering around the starting arena because your fish brain can’t see where the angel drug Joe Pesci, or don’t realize Bayo can walk on walls when they say it over and over and have a amssive cutaway whenever your supposed to, it’s time to drink bleach.

 

[KingjadVCMP]

His fifa attempt was diabolical. Had no interest in learning to play the game.

 

[Clones of Alex Jones]

Resident Evil 3. Ran out of ink ribbons, bitched at the random generation of enemies through different play throughs, and of course the virus nemesis boss fight( The ultimate scrub killer in resident evil).

 

[The Penultimate Warrior]

Bayonetta. If you spend 10 Fucking minutes wandering around the starting arena because your fish brain can’t see where the angel drug Joe Pesci, or don’t realize Bayo can walk on walls when they say it over and over and have a amssive cutaway whenever your supposed to, it’s time to drink bleach.

To my shame, I remember getting stuck there as well the first time I played it. Although I wasn't asking people for money to watch me doing so.

 

[Collections Agent]

I just watched the DK Country 2/3 TIHYDPs and MY LORD DSP has ZERO pattern recognition.

I highly recommend anyone who likes TIHYDPs to watch the Donkey Kong country ones, he dies close to 500 times in 2 WITH SAVESTATES and him constantly save scumming.

It's by far one of his most embarrassing playthroughs of all time because chat couldn't help him cheese platforming segments and there's so many times he dies to the first enemy he sees on screen it's hilarious

 

[Pargon]

I'd like to give special mention to his Sonic '06 playthrough as proof that he doesn't need to be playing a good game to put out a Grade-A shitshow. Every death is accompanied by full-tilt clown mode. Ack-ack-ack, leaning back, dramatic t-posing, "oh my gahhhhd".

Every.
Single.
Time.

All while wearing a felt Sonic hat like the manchild he is, dragging out his rock band guitar to mime playing along with the music, claiming the game is good while he's having no difficulty only to 180 directly into Game Sux Dood whenever he dies (which, the game being what it is and Phil being Phil, is as often as you'd expect).

In a way it's a match made in heaven. A clownshoes game for the village idiot of YouTube. In a just world it's all he'd be permitted to play.

 

[Malagor the dank omen]

Xcom: EU was particularly dreadful. Not only he has zero sense of tactical strategy but also he never remembers what enemies can do so they keep fucking him up in the long run. Forgets that Mutons have grenades and still bunches up soldiers just for 2 of them to die to grenades, forgets that floaters when they are in the sky have an instant 25% defense, forgets that Thin men spit poison... And of course, he save scummed like a moronic retard, with special mention to reloading the same save 7 times to see if a soldier would survive and always died (he didn't had game modifiers) and bitched like a retard about "replaying 10 minutes".

And eventually started putting rookies in missions so he would not have to reload by having cannon fodder. When he started to do this usually half his squad would die in every mission. Also, he didn't finished the game and only reached the endgame. If i remember correctly in his last mission a single Sectopod blasted half his squad into smithereens.

 

[JackDavis]

The racing games with a rewind mechanic because it just becomes another conveyor belt game for him then. Nothing he crashes into or does matters, he can just rewind and try again immediately. The reason I think they're the worst is that racing games have the potential to be his best playthroughs because he's blind and can't drive, having a rewind mechanic negates anything entertaining about the playthrough.