What Has Been Your Experience Like Shitting At Work.

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Manul Otocolobus said:
You didn't try to pull the "I shit in the bathroom I most identify with?"
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I joked about it, but they know me and know I’m full of shit.
Plus they couldn’t actually prove it was me, and I technically didn’t admit it…..I just stopped after something was said.

Everyone thought it was pretty funny except the girls who had to use that bathroom later in the morning. (Lol).
 
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I once had to use the President/CFO’s top left drawer in his oak desk from 1896. Thankfully there was a power outage so the security system was down. I wasn’t going to make it and it was the closest thing available at the time.
 
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If you're an IRL janny you can poop at work any time you want. Just plant your cart outside the bathroom and put out a sign. Nobody is going to come in and check on you. You have all the tools to clean up the crime scene. If you take an extra long time they'll just think there was a big mess or something.
 
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JethroTullamore said:
I got in trouble for shitting in the woman’s room once, (I’m not a woman) management actually had to send out an e-mail saying whoever was blowing it up needed to stop.

It’s not my fault, it was a one person private bathroom with tons of legroom, a little cabinet I set my phone on, lavender soap and those fancy smelly bark things. (Popurri? Potpourri? I dunno).

It was a nice place to poop while it lasted.
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You filthy animal. Potpourri was never designed to withstand a scent like the one that comes from a man's ass. You could have gotten us all killed!

(Seriously though. As a human I can't blame you for wanting to shit in a nice environment. As a woman having to use that bathroom after you, I'd be fucking pissed lol.)
 
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JethroTullamore said:
I got in trouble for shitting in the woman’s room once, (I’m not a woman) management actually had to send out an e-mail saying whoever was blowing it up needed to stop.

It’s not my fault, it was a one person private bathroom with tons of legroom, a little cabinet I set my phone on, lavender soap and those fancy smelly bark things. (Popurri? Potpourri? I dunno).

It was a nice place to poop while it lasted.
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If you give a shit (lol) you could get yourself a bottle of poopurri. It's scented oil that you spray into the bowl before dumping ass and it 100% contains the stench. A roommate and I used to use it to be courteous to each other.
 

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Mojo Thief said:
Our office only has one men's room for like 15 guys, and there's one guy who hogs the bathroom shitting/jacking/playing mobile games for like an hour a day
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Ah we had one of those in my last office. Daily 40 minute shit break sometime between 11am and 1pm: we had a single room serving everyone (5 to 8 people depending on the day) so it's not like anyone could fail to notice, especially since he was often tying it up when people wanted to take a piss before going out for lunch. Oddly he always took his backpack so we'd wonder whether he was banging dope or cranking one out, but that wasn't it.

He eventually got spotted elsewhere with the bag open: he had a binder of Yu Gi Oh cards and a laptop on which he'd buy and sell cards online during the day. Last I knew, he was still working there.
 
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Haram Exercise said:
If you give a shit (lol) you could get yourself a bottle of poopurri. It's scented oil that you spray into the bowl before dumping ass and it 100% contains the stench. A roommate and I used to use it to be courteous to each other.
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It might contain the stench, but it ain’t gonna contain the splatter.
 
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It's a small room with 2 stalls and a urinal. So much traffic, people hold the door for each other pretty regularly. Terrible place to shit. There will be someone in the next stall. Also, most people here are surprisingly bad at it. It's like they're constipated with a weak back and no core strength, so they just grunt in pain and force out a marble a minute, getting 60% of the way through their bowel movement before their break ends.
 
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I take as long as I need and feel no compulsion to be rushed. I will and do receive and make business phone calls while shitting. - An employee of my largest client told me he couldn't stop laughing for a whole day after hearing me, in the next cubicle, tell his boss "I'm having a shit and I'll see you after that."
 
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One time a guy started facetiming with his infant kid in the other stall.

Another time a guy was clearly getting hot and heavy over facetime with his woman while ostensibly taking a shit.

I hate facetime.
 
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  1. No option in our computerized timesheet for the "Crapping" project so I figure I can write it off.
  2. Not the worst thing I've smelled in that restroom
 
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