- Joined
- Jun 26, 2023
Last night’s dinner was fairly high calorie so I opted for something lighter today.
I made shrimp lo mein.
I made shrimp lo mein.
What Have You Cooked Recently?
- Thread starter FatFuckingClown
- Start date
- Joined
- Dec 27, 2023
Hamburger Helper, but with beef instead of hotdogs. Because the economy hasn't completely tanked yet.
- Joined
- Jul 3, 2019
derpherp2
kiwifarms.net
- Joined
- Jan 3, 2020
Made breakfast skillet one-handed.
Too much milk here atm to make anything too complex (I am a lazy nigger that buys pre-shredded onions + bell peppers).
Also I still have some blueberry streusel muffins soooo.
Too much milk here atm to make anything too complex (I am a lazy nigger that buys pre-shredded onions + bell peppers).
Also I still have some blueberry streusel muffins soooo.
- Joined
- Mar 23, 2024
Made some Jambalaya and corn bread yessuh. Got me some dem collard greens too mmmmhhmmm. Dat der zatarains andouille ain't as good as mammy use ta make but it dayum sho is good nuff.
- Joined
- Aug 2, 2021
Pizza by heart
Ayy so fam have you ever been traveling abroad in some weird foreign land… and you just really wanted a pizza? Cause that’s me, rn, and I owe it to make my hosts and fam a meal. So here we fucken go!
1. The dough
Ingredients (sorry about the volumetric imperial units, I am a stupid American)
Dry active yeast powder - 2tsp
Flour - 3 cups plus extra for dusting surfaces
Lukewarm Water (~100F) - 1.5 cups +\-
Salt - 1 tsp
Sugar - 1 Tbsp
Olive Oil - 5 tsp (1.67 Tbsp), plus more to grease the bowl for rising
How it’s made:
1. Combine the water, yeast, sugar, salt, and oil in a large mixing bowl. Stir and let stand for 5 minutes to activate the yeast; it should bubble and give off a yeast-y smell. If the yeast doesn’t activate, it may have gone off. Repeat using a new container/packet of yeast.
2. Add flour 1 cup at a time and stir with a spatula (or two chopsticks, or what have you) until all the flour is added and a shaggy dough forms. Wash your dirty mitts and knead the dough for 15 minutes plus, until the dough becomes smooth and pulls away from the sides of the bowl. (You can use a stand mixer for this step if you like and save some effort.) there’s a few ways to check for readiness. If you can pull the dough thin enough to see light through it without the dough tearing (“the window test”) it is ready. If the dough mostly sticks to itself, and not to your hands or the sides of the bowl, it’s ready. If in doubt, keep kneading.
3. Once the dough is ready, take a second large bowl and drizzle ~2 Tbsp of olive oil on the inside. Transfer the dough to the oily bowl and turn it over a few times to coat the outside of the dough. Cover the bowl with plastic wrap and let rise for 90 mins or until doubled in size.
2. Preparing the pizza
1. Punch down the dough and knead it again briefly. Separate your dough into 4 equal size pieces. Preheat your oven to as hot as it will go - the hotter the better. If you have a baking stone, set that up inside the oven. Otherwise. Place the pan you want to cook the pizza with into the oven so it can get properly hot. (At home, I like using my 12” cast iron skillet for this purpose. Get a cutting board and some cooking parchment about 12” in diameter minimum.
2. Dust the parchment with a little flour (or cornmeal as you prefer.) using your hands, a rolling pin, or a pint glass turned on its side if you are that ghetto, roll out the dough nice and thin, no less than 1/8”. It is not that important for the dough to be perfectly circular; square or any non-Euclidean shape is fine so long as the thickness of the dough is consistent.
3. Choose your fighters (toppings); being in China I have no opportunity to buy pasta sauce and this kitchen is a little too small for me to make my own, so I’m using sliced cherry tomatoes, salami, asparagus from the garden, various kinds of mozzarella cheese, and olive oil; but you can use whatever you like, even leftover meats from a previous meal. (I would caution you not to put raw meat on your pizza, as it’ll leach out water, making the pizza soggy, and the meat may not finish cooking by the time the crust is done. When it doubt, pre-cook your toppings. Unless you’re doing that arugula on pizza thing; you add that after cooking.)
Paint or use your fingers to coat the bottom surface of the pizza with pasta sauce (canned works fine) or olive oil. Don’t put the sauce on too thick, if in doubt, better to have a bit less sauce and you can dip your pizza at the table.
Top your pizza. Less tends to be more; if you overload your pizza with sauce, cheese, and toppings it won’t cook evenly and the crust will be doughy in the middle.
3. Bake your pizza.
using the parchment paper, carefully transfer raw pizza onto the hot pan, then move the pan into the oven. Bake until the pizza is browned on the top and the crust is done on the bottom (use a spatula to check if you are unsure.)
4. Let’s Eat!
Divide your pizza into 4-8 slices and enjoy!
Ayy so fam have you ever been traveling abroad in some weird foreign land… and you just really wanted a pizza? Cause that’s me, rn, and I owe it to make my hosts and fam a meal. So here we fucken go!
1. The dough
Ingredients (sorry about the volumetric imperial units, I am a stupid American)
Dry active yeast powder - 2tsp
Flour - 3 cups plus extra for dusting surfaces
Lukewarm Water (~100F) - 1.5 cups +\-
Salt - 1 tsp
Sugar - 1 Tbsp
Olive Oil - 5 tsp (1.67 Tbsp), plus more to grease the bowl for rising
How it’s made:
1. Combine the water, yeast, sugar, salt, and oil in a large mixing bowl. Stir and let stand for 5 minutes to activate the yeast; it should bubble and give off a yeast-y smell. If the yeast doesn’t activate, it may have gone off. Repeat using a new container/packet of yeast.
2. Add flour 1 cup at a time and stir with a spatula (or two chopsticks, or what have you) until all the flour is added and a shaggy dough forms. Wash your dirty mitts and knead the dough for 15 minutes plus, until the dough becomes smooth and pulls away from the sides of the bowl. (You can use a stand mixer for this step if you like and save some effort.) there’s a few ways to check for readiness. If you can pull the dough thin enough to see light through it without the dough tearing (“the window test”) it is ready. If the dough mostly sticks to itself, and not to your hands or the sides of the bowl, it’s ready. If in doubt, keep kneading.
3. Once the dough is ready, take a second large bowl and drizzle ~2 Tbsp of olive oil on the inside. Transfer the dough to the oily bowl and turn it over a few times to coat the outside of the dough. Cover the bowl with plastic wrap and let rise for 90 mins or until doubled in size.
2. Preparing the pizza
1. Punch down the dough and knead it again briefly. Separate your dough into 4 equal size pieces. Preheat your oven to as hot as it will go - the hotter the better. If you have a baking stone, set that up inside the oven. Otherwise. Place the pan you want to cook the pizza with into the oven so it can get properly hot. (At home, I like using my 12” cast iron skillet for this purpose. Get a cutting board and some cooking parchment about 12” in diameter minimum.
2. Dust the parchment with a little flour (or cornmeal as you prefer.) using your hands, a rolling pin, or a pint glass turned on its side if you are that ghetto, roll out the dough nice and thin, no less than 1/8”. It is not that important for the dough to be perfectly circular; square or any non-Euclidean shape is fine so long as the thickness of the dough is consistent.
3. Choose your fighters (toppings); being in China I have no opportunity to buy pasta sauce and this kitchen is a little too small for me to make my own, so I’m using sliced cherry tomatoes, salami, asparagus from the garden, various kinds of mozzarella cheese, and olive oil; but you can use whatever you like, even leftover meats from a previous meal. (I would caution you not to put raw meat on your pizza, as it’ll leach out water, making the pizza soggy, and the meat may not finish cooking by the time the crust is done. When it doubt, pre-cook your toppings. Unless you’re doing that arugula on pizza thing; you add that after cooking.)
Paint or use your fingers to coat the bottom surface of the pizza with pasta sauce (canned works fine) or olive oil. Don’t put the sauce on too thick, if in doubt, better to have a bit less sauce and you can dip your pizza at the table.
Top your pizza. Less tends to be more; if you overload your pizza with sauce, cheese, and toppings it won’t cook evenly and the crust will be doughy in the middle.
3. Bake your pizza.
using the parchment paper, carefully transfer raw pizza onto the hot pan, then move the pan into the oven. Bake until the pizza is browned on the top and the crust is done on the bottom (use a spatula to check if you are unsure.)
4. Let’s Eat!
Divide your pizza into 4-8 slices and enjoy!
- Joined
- Jun 26, 2023
PIZZA PARTY! I made a deep pan pizza with sausage and sun-dried tomato pesto.
Dough
Sun-dried tomato pesto
The toppings: Pepperoni, sausage, jalapenos and onions
I used a cast iron pan and let the base cook on the stove for a few minutes before transferring to the oven. There is also cheese underneath the toppings (I didn't have any fresh mozzarella
)
The crust looks a little pale in the light but I assure you it was nice and crispy.
Sun-dried tomato pesto
The toppings: Pepperoni, sausage, jalapenos and onions
I used a cast iron pan and let the base cook on the stove for a few minutes before transferring to the oven. There is also cheese underneath the toppings (I didn't have any fresh mozzarella
)
The crust looks a little pale in the light but I assure you it was nice and crispy.
Last edited:
Crisis Instigator
kiwifarms.net
- Joined
- Mar 10, 2024
For dinner decided to make dakgeongjang or sweet and spicy fried chicken. I got a spider wok finally and wanted to try it out.
- Joined
- Dec 12, 2022
- Joined
- Apr 2, 2023
I learned pizza making from this guy:
Massimo Nocerino on YT
https://youtu.be/MSH__CROa7A?si=bwOwR4PZpxhg2tsX
Also, grilled sockeye salmon with sweet and hot cream sauce, the heat came from a touch of sambal oelek. Couldn't think of a name so I asked this Mexican kid we just hired and he wanted to call it Pasta del Diablo, so naturally devil horn garlic bread (it wasn't very hot lmao).
Also, pickles, bacon, dill, and cream cheese sauce on a base of olive oil
Massimo Nocerino on YT
https://youtu.be/MSH__CROa7A?si=bwOwR4PZpxhg2tsX
Also, grilled sockeye salmon with sweet and hot cream sauce, the heat came from a touch of sambal oelek. Couldn't think of a name so I asked this Mexican kid we just hired and he wanted to call it Pasta del Diablo, so naturally devil horn garlic bread (it wasn't very hot lmao).
Also, pickles, bacon, dill, and cream cheese sauce on a base of olive oil
Last edited:
- Joined
- Mar 29, 2023
- Joined
- Mar 10, 2019
That's beef prime rib (ribeye roast basically) and it's supposed to look exactly that red inside.Jack would be proud. Bonus points if that is actually pork
- Joined
- Jan 19, 2020
I made butter noodles with cabbage, onion, and kielbasa. The next day I took some of the leftovers and turned it into soup with beef stock and a little bit of kosher salt
- Joined
- Dec 28, 2014
Tried my first sous vide and it was a disaster. It wasn't the fault of the device or my own fault. Power went out before I could put a sear on it and before it was even up to temperature. I decided to eat it anyway because it was basically going to go to waste. It was awful. Edible, but awful. A1 rescued it a bit but still, eating a rare steak with no sear in the dark is not exactly wonderful.
- Joined
- Mar 10, 2019
Now I'm picturing Guga saying "I know, my steaks don't look that good right now, but-" just as the lights go out.
It's too bad you couldn't rescue it with some flame, but if all you've got is electric, you're kind of SOL in that situation.
- Joined
- Dec 28, 2014
Yeah, I just have the device itself. I'm not going to buy the whole vacuum sealer/torch/etc. setup until I know if I like it.
- Joined
- Dec 12, 2022
Hell yeah. Reminds me of my favorite Scalfani tale.Jack would be proud. Bonus points if that is actually pork
Scalf gets a bunk order from Fatrick, so he calls him up for a refund, or at least a little discount on the next order:
Scalf: Hey, this sausage isn't cooking up right, and it tastes different than the rest of my orders.
Fat: Welll child, I've told you numerous times how to properly cook it.
Scalf: That's the thing, though; no matter how I cook it, low and slow or hot and fast, it still ends up burnt to a crisp. And it tastes like you put some Haitians or Caribs in it...
Fat: THERE ARE NO REFUGEES IN MY NEIGHBORHOOD, STROKEY-CHILD!
Scalf: Well, can I at least get a discount on my next order?
Fat: There are no discounts in your future, only wheelchairs. Enjoy rehab. Click
Every year, family comes for Christmas dinner, and every year, one person asks for medium well, and every year, I say that we'd be better off driving up the highway, picking up semi tire scraps and road kill, and every year, that one person cries, and every year, Christmas dinner isn't as good as it could be, and every year, we try to squeeze dental appointments in before New Year's.
Tradition.
My Pizzatism kicked in last night and I came across that channel. I watched way too many of these:
- Joined
- Mar 10, 2019
I'd say it's time to consider a tradition of microwaving that person's slice so that they can have medium well and everyone else doesn't have to suffer for it.
- Joined
- Jul 22, 2019
Roast beef with cauliflower mash, mustard cream sauce, broccolini, and grilled tomatoes.
Beef was slightly overdone unfortunately, but still delicious.
Kit Marz
kiwifarms.net
- Joined
- Mar 31, 2022
I made fried chicken successfully for the first time in my life this week. Ive tried doing it in my cast iron skillet in the past, but it was always messy and hated trying keep the temperature consistent and then trying to store the oil when I was done. I bought a deep fryer that filters and stores my oil and it's a total game changer. It was so easy and the results were so good that I wish I had done it sooner. I'm planning on making donuts and beignets next.