What historical or prehistoric event would you change if you had a time machine?

[Lithuophile]

I would go back in time and vote for Hitler.

 

[Just A Butt]

Abe Lincoln

 

[ToroidalBoat]

Somehow influence hominid evolution to make the species less hostile and tyranny-prone?



But in reality, if backwards time travel is even possible, any changes to the past were likely part of history all along because of the Novikov self-consistency principle.

 

[MrTroll]

The invention of the Kiwi Farms.

 

[MTN Dew Rat]

Ask Paul to write a letter really laying into the evils of circumcision so all the dense Burgers really get the point.

 

[Ibanez RG 350EX]

I would prevent the OP's conception.

Ask Paul to write a letter really laying into the evils of circumcision so all the dense Burgers really get the point.

"Evils"? I mean, I think it's a pretty pointless thing to do to babies, but I'm not exactly traumatized everyday by my lack of a foreskin.

 

[Shitted Scaredless]

Screw changing something I'm going to touch a dinosaur.

 

[Stephanie Bustcakes]

I would go back in time to last Thursday so I can tell myself where my keys were so I wouldn't be late for work.

Ask Paul to write a letter really laying into the evils of circumcision so all the dense Burgers really get the point.

I doubt he would want to say that one of God's commandments to the Jews was evil.

 

[grump]

I would go back sometime in the early 1900s 1800s taking with me ironclad proof I'm from the future and a catalog providing an honest look at the state of our world. Once I arrived I would summon all the world leaders and reporters and people I could to make sure I'm reaching the entire world and then dump all this out in front of them. Then I would say 'Hey I know you guys are flirting with Marxism and a bunch of other leftwing stuff that might seem cool right now. Far be it from me to stop you from doing what you want but just to let you know this is what it will all eventually lead to'. Then I will leave them to do what they will and go back to the present. This is assuming the timeline changes don't erase me.

 

[Sundae]

Prevent thylacines from going extinct.

 

[eDove]

I'd make Obama a white guy.

 

[Squawking Macaw]

I'd never have the power to make it happen, but I sometimes wonder what this world would be like if the K-Pg extinction never happened

 

[Sparkletor 2.0]

I would go back to November 18th, 2008 and wait an additional 30 seconds before putting that scalding hot Hot Pocket© sandwich into my mouth which burned my tongue and caused me slight discomfort for the rest of that day.

 

[56 others]

I'd jerk off in the primordial ooze

 

[Super-Chevy454]

I would go back in time and vote for Hitler.

How about going a little further back in time? Killing the SOBs killed Archduke Franz-Ferdinand before they killed him so WWI would have been delayed a bit or having the "Entente Cordiale" between England and France project cancelled.

 

[grump]

I would go back in time and vote for Hitler.

Hitler got into power largely because of elections and remained and gained power due to political wrangling and elections that didn't stop him or went his way. Not sure what winning an additional election or two would change.

 

[Suel Forrester]

im not sure what specifically would need to be done bu ti would ensure confederate victory in the US civil war

 

[Professor G. Raff]

I'm convincing Stanislav Petrov that the sensors are right as a joke. It'll be funny, I swear.

 

[DoomsdayElite]

I'd go to the Stonewall riots with the flamethrower from Aliens.

 

[HyperboreanRightsActivist]

How about going a little further back in time? Killing the SOBs killed Archduke Franz-Ferdinand before they killed him so WWI would have been delayed a bit or having the "Entente Cordiale" between England and France project cancelled.

I'd go back in time and smoke Franz Ferdinand